I was wondering, if I won the ellusive lottery and was given a cheque of 25 Billion Naira, what would I do with it? Still wondering? I would start my own bank ofcourse.

Street Bank - banking with an attitude.

Why that slogan/motto or whatever it is called? Simple, our operating processes,

Our Rules.

If you are a poor man, dont come near our bank, else you will be attended to by the security man. Do you think we would waste the time of our customer services officer on you? Did I mention that the Security Officer will query you outside. Dont want you staining our clean office.

Lets assume you manage to sneak in, and you want to open an account? Savings? Sorry, come back in 3 days time, our officers only attend to current account openers only. Think we are harsh, ok, can you afford 25,000 for a savings account. Like Zenith, like Us.

When coming, please bring along the following: driver's license (we dont care if you cant drive), international passport (you've never travelled out - go and get one at Oluwole), reference letter from your primary school headmaster (hmmm) and any other document to prove that you are alive. At least, GTB does similar. No! We dont accept National ID Card. It has no signature and it may not be you.

Ahh, welcome back! You've brought all the items. Good. Did we mention next of kin's picture? No? Dont blame us, we are only copying UBA Group.

Excuse me, have I seen you before? Yes, that's true. You came to open an account with us. Hope you have served us well? Want to make a deposit? Please go to counter 1, where that pretty lady is. She should convince you to pay more than you intended. The ugly guys, we use them for withdrawals, they will scare you to go meet the ladies and deposit instead of withdrawing. Nice business principles, thank you. You are much too kind.

Please check back, have a business meeting with Soludo, we intend merging all the banks into CBN. He has promised me the role of GMD (Group Merging Director). Now where is my accountant?

http://streetlife.iblog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=22460

Okay Good For U. Make Sure Ur Bank Serves D People Rigt. Then Again If I Were U, Id Do Sum'n Else, Cos Dere R So Many Banks Outhere.

I see this went over somebodies head.

exu:

I see this went over somebodies head.

Did Indeedy.

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Quite humorous.  Then again, I hear these are actual occurences.

Why should a bank have to cater for poor and weak customers that are tainted by corruption?

Hilarious is the word !
These banks and their requirements could be killing! Even with all the Problems faced by customers, these banks will still apply all the rules of marketing to confuse convince u to do business with them

Maybe i should recommend my BANK !

I couldnt read it all on my Cell phone, now i know it's a joke,

Using this medium to express some of the experiences I have had with these banks. Still have a part 2 in composition

good job

samm:

Did Indeedy.

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Quite humorous. Then again, I hear these are actual occurences.

Nope! Knocked someone on the head, and someone's still wondering what happened

@ africanboy,
food for thought here.