Hello

bonax: Hello friends please i need an urgent advise i got married a year ago and ever since i got married i av not cheated on my wife,but now the problem is my wife dose not trust me she feels am cheating on her. which i tried all possible best to assure her that i am not cheating on her but she still dont belive me.Now i was thinking of doing it because she dosnt trust me. please i need ur advise what should i do?

How does your wife not trusting MAKE you want to cheat? There's no excuse for your new desire to cheat. How did you convince her to marry you? Use the same medium to convince her of your faithfulness which is something I am doubtful of too going by your new desire to cheat anyway.

If you want your wife to trust you, stop giving her reasons to doubt you.

Advice on weda 2 cheat or nt?
Muhhehehheheheheh
Ow long u had it on mind sir?

Small boy

Continue to assure her that you are not cheating on her. Probably she's feeling insecure but with time, she will come around.
But cheating because she doesn't trust you just means you've had it in your mind to do but just looking for a platform to carry out the act

Hmmm...I can identify with the OP. I had a girl who seriously doubted my faithfulness even though I was squeaky clean. It got so worrisome I decided maybe its okay to cheat since she didn't believe I was. That's in a relationship though.....But in a marriage, you OP...should not leave anything for ur wife to doubt ur fidelity!!! Maybe she is pregnant now....or just have a baby? Do all possible to assure her, don't be tempted, keep ur all for her. Cheers!!![b]Hmmm...I can identify with the OP. I had a girl who seriously doubted my faithfulness even though I was squeaky clean. It got so worrisome I decided maybe its okay to cheat since she didn't believe I was. That's in a relationship though.....But in a marriage, you OP...should not leave anything for ur wife to doubt ur fidelity!!! Maybe she is pregnant now....or just have a baby? Do all possible to assure her, don't be tempted, keep ur all for her. Cheers!!![/b]Hmmm...I can identify with the OP. I had a girl who seriously doubted my faithfulness even though I was squeaky clean. It got so worrisome I decided maybe its okay to cheat since she didn't believe I was. That's in a relationship though.....But in a marriage, you OP...should not leave anything for ur wife to doubt ur fidelity!!! Maybe she is pregnant now....or just have a baby? Do all possible to assure her, don't be tempted, keep ur dangilidang all for her. Cheers!!!

the fact is that she is threatening to cheat on me

Na wa oo . . . there is a serious problem with this generation of males Africa, in fact Nigerian mothers, has produced. How can someone create such a daft thread? Your wife suspects you of infidelity and so you want to go commit it as a result? Also you want to do so because she threatens she will do it herself because she suspects you are already doing it?

Which kind primary-school-brain-level men have these mothers wrought on this nation?

ROFLMAO!!!

^Hey! Keep shut there! Who are you to cast aspersions on other people's mothers?

I'm going to give you some advice, but you have to be 'clean' to carry it out effectively. The next time she accuses you, put your cellphone on the table where she can easily see it, but do it in a normal way that doesn't bring attention to you doing it (be nonchalant). Next put on a serious stiff face and tell her that you have not cheated on her and that you are beginning to tire of her accusations. Next say, 'I love you but I'm starting to worry that that you will be insecure throughout our entire marriage.' Continue with, 'I don't want to live the rest of my life being accused of things of which I'm not guilty.' Next, look at her and give a long sigh, then say, 'I'm going out for a while, I need to think about some things. I'll be back.' Then walk out of the house. If she starts talking keep going and just keep saying 'I'll be back.' Stay gone for about an hour. She is going to go through every contact in your phone, however the fact that you left your phone behind will offer her some reassurance that you are not cheating. When you get home, your wife will be so nice and you will probably have your favorite meal on the table. Believe me, this works every time!!

^^^^ After going through the one cellphone, won't she start to suspect that there is another phone somewhere? Isn't there the chance that she could also suspect that he deleted information before leaving the phone behind? Plus, are you sure threatening(suggesting you may want out) someone you are married to is a good idea?

Clearly this couple needs to head to therapy. The woman to deal with her trust issues, the man to deal with his immaturity and both to deal with their communication skills.

FlowerPower: I'm going to give you some advice, but you have to be 'clean' to carry it out effectively. The next time she accuses you, put your cellphone on the table where she can easily see it, but do it in a normal way that doesn't bring attention to you doing it (be nonchalant). Next put on a serious stiff face and tell her that you have not cheated on her and that you are beginning to tire of her accusations. Next say, 'I love you but I'm starting to worry that that you will be insecure throughout our entire marriage.' Continue with, 'I don't want to live the rest of my life being accused of things of which I'm not guilty.' Next, look at her and give a long sigh, then say, 'I'm going out for a while, I need to think about some things. I'll be back.' Then walk out of the house. If she starts talking keep going and just keep saying 'I'll be back.' Stay gone for about an hour. She is going to go through every contact in your phone, however the fact that you left your phone behind will offer her some reassurance that you are not cheating. When you get home, your wife will be so nice and you will probably have your favorite meal on the table. Believe me, this works every time!!

Really?

maclatunji:

Really?

And what is that supposed to mean? Don't try it unless you are innocent, because it won't work.

Poster you are dulling, the words of your posts shows that and we don't want to see another thread of how your wife slapped you and locked you out of the house for days. What I am trying to say is that you should address this issue very seriously with your wife, don't treat the matter mildly and turn around to seek pity/advice online. If she is accusing you of infidelity and you know that you are faithful, seriously tell her that and seriously address the issue of her threatening to cheat on you instead of coming here to complain "she said that I am cheating her and she is threatening to cheat me, what am i going to do". I mean it is the length of the shoulder you give to others that they hang on. Stand tall, don't crouch or cower.

FlowerPower: I'm going to give you some advice, but you have to be 'clean' to carry it out effectively. The next time she accuses you, put your cellphone on the table where she can easily see it, but do it in a normal way that doesn't bring attention to you doing it (be nonchalant). Next put on a serious stiff face and tell her that you have not cheated on her and that you are beginning to tire of her accusations. Next say, 'I love you but I'm starting to worry that that you will be insecure throughout our entire marriage.' Continue with, 'I don't want to live the rest of my life being accused of things of which I'm not guilty.' Next, look at her and give a long sigh, then say, 'I'm going out for a while, I need to think about some things. I'll be back.' Then walk out of the house. If she starts talking keep going and just keep saying 'I'll be back.' Stay gone for about an hour. She is going to go through every contact in your phone, however the fact that you left your phone behind will offer her some reassurance that you are not cheating. When you get home, your wife will be so nice and you will probably have your favorite meal on the table. Believe me, this works every time!!

Sis this your theory get k-leg o-o. How will a wife know that her husband is not cheating on her with anybody in his phone contact? Can't a married man save another female name in his phone? What reassurance girlie? A cheating man will be doing his cheating behind his wife so that move can't be enough reassurance, can it?

Ivynwa:
Sis this your theory get k-leg o-o. How will a wife know that her husband is not cheating on her with anybody in his phone contact? Can't a married man save another female name in his phone? What reassurance girlie? A cheating man will be doing his cheating behind his wife so that move can't be enough reassurance, can it?

Ivynwa are you married? [Waiting patiently for an answer...30 minutes of silence]. No you are not. So until you can say "seen it, been there, done that", you don't know what works and what doesn't. We all like to think our marriages are going to be perfect and that we won't be like others. However, the truth is bitter when it comes. At the end of the day, people are people in every corner of the world. If he is a cheater, what I mentioned will not work because he will be caught in his lies. However if he is innocent, his wife will realize that she is about to lose a good husband because of her own paranoia. @OP try it and see what happens

FlowerPower:
Ivynwa are you married? [Waiting patiently for an answer...30 minutes of silence]. No you are not. So until you can say "seen it, been there, done that", you don't know what works and what doesn't. We all like to think our marriages are going to be perfect and that we won't be like others. However, the truth is bitter when it comes. At the end of the day, people are people in every corner of the world. If he is a cheater, what I mentioned will not work because he will be caught in his lies. However if he is innocent, his wife will realize that she is about to lose a good husband because of her own paranoia. @OP try it and see what happens

Please don't play that "I am married so I know better than those who are not married" card here. That suggestion of yours is pretty lame. I mean you don't even have to be married to know that it would not work with everyone, especially those who have INTELLIGENT minds and are able to think with their brains.

Kobojunkie:

Please don't play that "I am married so I know better than those who are not married" card here. That suggestion of yours is pretty lame. I mean you don't even have to be married to know that it would not work with everyone, especially those who have INTELLIGENT minds and are able to think with their brains.

Kobo (and your many other aliases), I could say a lot, but since you are alone in your one bedroom apartment in Chicago and currently jobless, I will give a long sigh and go to bed. I have to get up early in the morning

FlowerPower:

Kobo (and your many other aliases), I could say a lot, but since you are alone in your one bedroom apartment in Chicago and currently jobless, I will give a long sigh and go to bed. I have to get up early in the morning

WHAT THE F***KKK

um . . . . my many aliases? WTF . . .

I am alone in my bedroom . . . . WTF . . .

I am jobless?? WTF . . . . ..

WOW . . . you really are insecure one aren't you? WOW!!

FlowerPower:
Ivynwa are you married? [Waiting patiently for an answer...30 minutes of silence]. No you are not. So until you can say "seen it, been there, done that", you don't know what works and what doesn't. We all like to think our marriages are going to be perfect and that we won't be like others. However, the truth is bitter when it comes. At the end of the day, people are people in every corner of the world. If he is a cheater, what I mentioned will not work because he will be caught in his lies. However if he is innocent, his wife will realize that she is about to lose a good husband because of her own paranoia. @OP try it and see what happens

FlowerPower:

Kobo (and your many other aliases), I could say a lot, but since you are alone in your one bedroom apartment in Chicago and currently jobless, I will give a long sigh and go to bed. I have to get up early in the morning

Kobo did you read my mind? I also went WTFr*ak on reading that. . I mean how can an adult think that that theory stated there is a perfect detective tool in this case. Even a teenager that is not up to the marriageable age can see through the loophole in that theory so one doesn't need to be married to see that.

Pray what is wrong with some Nigerian married women that makes them think that their world is rosier than that of the single women, that they are better(while the single women are worthless) and that they 've got plenty gold medals weighing down their arm muscles for having husbands? . I saw one saying the unprintables to Tpiah the other day and I shook my head at this very inferior mentality that is racking some of our people. I mean can a human being be so short in esteem/dignity as to be telling another human "I have got a man on my arms and that makes me better than you". They make me laugh hard when they start displaying their "You ain't in my class" and their "Get out of this place, we own the internet" when they know nothing about how the internet got innovated.

How can women be giving this rotten, smelly,ignorant mgbeke attitude to their fellow women like "all unmarried women are worthless without husbands". You can't find a man behaving like that which is why I relate better with men, we womenfolk are something else walahi. Aren't they funny without knowing how much? Ridiculous! WTFr*ak! I was even chatting and commenting on that her post with beautiful respect and sisterly warmth only to get some "you are not married" attitude. Nne mehn-n-n-n, na wao-o-o

Ask her what she will do if she finds out that you are cheating on her? That same cheating she is accusing you of, what will she do? Continue accusing you, or seek help from a mental health specialist who deals with insecurity issues?

maclatunji: ^Hey! Keep shut there! Who are you to cast aspersions on other people's mothers?

Did I forget to mention that I just hate it when I have to agree with you?

bonax: the fact is that she is threatening to cheat on me

Oh just saw this, okay. So she has a man on the side she wants to fck hard and wild already so it is only normal for her to put the blame on you when she does it that is if she hasn't done it already.

Like my father will say ......."I see....."

^^^ Appears she's looking for a t!t-for-tat' kinda thing. If your conscience is clear, why bother about what she thinks? Throw it to her on the table to state her REAL intentions. She doesn't have evidence, yet she's using that baselessness to attempt to cheat on you - how satisfying!!!

Think you guys need to do some serious tete-a-tete and this is where I don't wanna appear chauvinistic but my brother, it's time you "act like a woman act like a man and think like a man drill some sense into her".

Btw, you need an 'advice' - nairalanders have 'advised' above.

#ExitNoNonsenseMode

^^^


Me likey

jennykadry:

Did I forget to mention that I just hate it when I have to agree with you?

Hehehe!

bonax: Hello friends please i need an urgent advise i got married a year ago and ever since i got married i av not cheated on my wife,but now the problem is my wife dose not trust me she feels am cheating on her. which i tried all possible best to assure her that i am not cheating on her but she still dont belive me.Now i was thinking of doing it because she dosnt trust me. please i need ur advise what should i do?

where did u get it wrong mister ? retrace ya steps

kobojunkie:

Please don't play that "I am married so I know better than those who are not married" card here.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

Thinking out loudly, here's keeping my fingers crossed hoping the usual suspect wouldn't capitalise on this and start playing the victim card to draw attention to, and solicit for attendees to grace their upcoming regular pity party. I can't fathom how any one with commonsense can go personal and start atacking and questioning someone's mothering skills and feeling sorry for her children and Husband, but starts crying wolf when the "compliment" is returned in equal measures

^Hayayayayayayayyyyyyyyy

Ivynwa:





Kobo did you read my mind? I also went WTFr*ak on reading that. . I mean how can an adult think that that theory stated there is a perfect detective tool in this case. Even a teenager that is not up to the marriageable age can see through the loophole in that theory so one doesn't need to be married to see that.

Pray what is wrong with some Nigerian married women that makes them think that their world is rosier than that of the single women, that they are better(while the single women are worthless) and that they 've got plenty gold medals weighing down their arm muscles for having husbands? . I saw one saying the unprintables to Tpiah the other day and I shook my head at this very inferior mentality that is racking some of our people. I mean can a human being be so short in esteem/dignity as to be telling another human "I have got a man on my arms and that makes me better than you". They make me laugh hard when they start displaying their "You ain't in my class" and their "Get out of this place, we own the internet" when they know nothing about how the internet got innovated.

How can women be giving this rotten, smelly,ignorant mgbeke attitude to their fellow women like "all unmarried women are worthless without husbands". You can't find a man behaving like that which is why I relate better with men, we womenfolk are something else walahi. Aren't they funny without knowing how much? Ridiculous! WTFr*ak! I was even chatting and commenting on that her post with beautiful respect and sisterly warmth only to get some "you are not married" attitude. Nne mehn-n-n-n, na wao-o-o

Hmmm, I guess I "spoke" too soon, the-you-can-set-your-watch-by-her-pity-party-planner has already marked her presence on this thread, oh well, roll on the miseries/woe-is-me gravy train.


Right, where was I with that long overdue recital which I was due to hand in last Friday -




STATE. CAPITAL


Anambra. Enugu
Bauchi. Bauchi
Benue. Maiduguri
Crossrivers. Calabar
Gongola. Yola
Imo. Owerri
Spineless Husband. Husbandless
Bad Mother. Non-mother


Yikes, I have to go back to the board, although the last entry is "apt", it doesn't have the "correct ring" to it. Gosh this should have been handed in last week, so I guess I have to use the "the dog ate my homework" line

As I said . . . .

Kobojunkie: Na wa oo . . . there is a serious problem with this generation of males Africa, in fact Nigerian mothers, has produced. How can someone create such a daft thread? Your wife suspects you of infidelity and so you want to go commit it as a result? Also you want to do so because she threatens she will do it herself because she suspects you are already doing it?

Which kind primary-school-brain-level men have these mothers wrought on this nation?

ROFLMAO!!!

These problems don't drop out of nowhere . . . . here's hoping the mothers(so called MOTHER AFRICAS) on here at least try to teach their children the necessary lessons they need to succeed(not just financially and in titles) in life. It is not good enough to PUMP these things out . . please train them properly.. .. yes, even the males so society does not continue to decay as it continues to.

^^^

Sheath your sword and retract your claws and fangs. Has anyone/can anyone ever stop Kobojunkie from spitting inanities Abeg roll on with your fine self jare, nothing do you. . .

maclatunji: ^Hayayayayayayayyyyyyyyy

Yay, look what the cat dragged in

Okay I am being serious here, I need career advise and career change and some recommendation from you (disclaimer I don't have to take it, so be gentle with my fragile self) -


Here it goes - I know my limits and know I don't "think", so do you "think" I will make an excellent assistant/sidekick to you when you resume work as NL's resident Psychotherapist!

I need to belong I was debarred from joining the cabal, I was excluded from the prestigious lists of those conferred with monikers llike Ndi ara, Puppet, spitfire, etc, and now you can see Ivynwa trying to form her own clique too. She has successfully gotten Kobojunkie to join, and is about to rope Tpia in, yet their is no mention of me getting a membership Am I gonna be stuck in this busybody career rut forever Are you ready to give me a job as your assistant so I can carve my niche, at your feet of course (Richvkunt will be honoured to supply a character respect in that regard so you can see for yourself that I know my place as a woman. . .) Am I projecting yet or do you think its the yabaleft pills letting me down and a head shrink would be better, or a brain surgeon for brain replacement . . .

Madam BB abeg oh. Lol. Abeg forgive and forget, old things haff pass away tay tay.
Madam Flower, I am married and I say that is silly advice. There is no place for silly games and scheming in a good marriage.
Poster, why is she doubting you? Do you lie compulsively? Or does she just have serious insecurity issues? Marriage is work, be ready to put in the work when you enter not run at the slightest sign of trouble. Cheating will only make this worse.
Meet a qualified marriage counselor, your issues are very deep. One day I entered a taxi, the drivers wife called I guess she was expecting him home, there was fuel scarcity then and instead of him to say, I picked a passneger but I will be home soon, he lied and said he was on fuel queue. So tell me if his wife or someone saw him with a woman in the car, what explanation woud he give that would satisfy her after the lie?
He was not a painted cab oh. So if you do that kind of small small lie it would be hard to have her trust.