dayokanu: The problem with Nigerians is that they dont see anything wrong as long as it doesnt happen to them

A man thinks beating him is wrong but doesnt see anything bad in beating wife, driver, or staff/Apprentice

A woman thinks beating her is wrong, But she doesnt see anything wrong in beating other women or househelp

The child thinks beating him/her is wrong but doesnt see anything wrong in beating his/her younger ones

Why cant we simply condemn all form of violence

Sisi_Kill: Let's face it...Nigerians, we are bullies. We tend to pick on people we perceive are weaker than us (Physically, financially, mentally and any other ally you can think of) . . . this is why Bosses can slap workers, Rich man can slap poor man, men beat women, Adults beat children.

This is why the people who get killed, maimed and ostracized from society because they are "witches" are the poor, the elderly women and children. How come a man is never a wizard? How come children from wealthy homes are not amongst those getting nails drilled in their heads? This is the mentality of our society.

But back to the issue hand. . . Why do we get all up in arms when an adult beats another adult (man beating woman) but don't bat an eye when an adult beats a small child, who by all accounts is more defenseless?

If we are to table the reasons given for why men do the former, we will see how not so different they are from reasons given for the latter.

She was rude
She was disrespectful
She needed correction
It was to teach her a lesson for the future
She needed her tongue curbed
She needs an attitude change etc.

If these reasons can sound appalling for one instance, what makes them a-okay in the next?

Despite our beaty beaty society, we still have some of the worst set of kids. At what point are we gonna sit back and realize. . .something ain't right? Maybe it is time to go to the drawing board and come up with something else?

There's gotta be a middle ground between the so called beat at all cost, beat like there is no tomorrow Nigerian culture and the so called pat a cake, pat on the head, there there culture people perceive to be of the west.

Let's find that and stop treating each other like animals abeg.

dayokanu: Thank you OP for this thread.

I agree with you that we have a violence problem in Nigeria. The solution to every issue is beating.

How many rich madam have an issue with slapping their housegirls? Infact almost everyone would overlook it. But when their husband beat them they shout blue murder.

How many Ogas have a problem with beating their drivers? Infact your friends would ignore it or even support you . But when Oga himself is beaten by some soldiers he would shout to the public.

How many elder siblings have a problem with beating their younger ones but they would cry when others beat them,

Until we address this issues fundamentally in the society we wont be making much of a headway

Below is my post on another topic 2 months ago

debrief08:
Nothing more to add, everything is violence, we are so aggressive, we think talking and taking steps to rationally work issues out is a waste of time.

Johndoe100:

This is because in today's Nigeria talking and rationality are a waste of time. You can come on the internet and have a love fest with people in America and think you have done something. The truth is in Nigeria on the streets and in everyday life, violence is becoming the only option.

Is this good? Heck no, the society has become brutalized. When I was growing up, seeing a dead person was something big, the elders would tell us to cover our eyes. Now whenever armed robbers strike or some other act of violence takes place, there is a rush to go and film the carnage. I know places where teenagers discuss with pictures the effects of a 7.65 mm round (the bullets for an AK47) on the human head.

Now casual brutality is the in thing. There is no means for people to seek justice. So they take whatever measures that they can. The streets of Nigeria are a brutal place to be and it will only get worse because no one really cares. The government in an effort to bring peace and a sense of belonging to the people created a court, the human rights court. This court has the same powers to jail people as the state or federal high court. We all celebrated, until the head of the place said on TV, that he is not interested in cases where people get beaten, or trampled on. That he wants people to bring serious cases such as "the denial of the right to employment due to the governments economic policies". Everyone got the message and I am sure that no case has gone before that court since.

This is a hobsian society. Violence is what we know and what we have. Get used to it.

dayokanu: I think Johndoe is also right, The violent approach to things have eaten into many Nigerians over the years.

They see Traffic congestion and some soldiers come beat ppl and they are able to move(Traffic warden take 5 hrs, Soldiers with guns and stick take 15mins),

They see ppl arguing endlessly and someone brings MOPOL and beat them into submission (Talking takes 5hours, beating takes 5 mins).


They see people arguing over land and taking themselves to court for decades. The moment a Military man becomes involved they resolve the issue in 2months.

Thats why some ppl are still saying we are not ripe for democracy.

We have a society that oppress. If you ask the average person why he wants to make it, His first answer is because he wants to OPPRESS. Why do students join cult? because they want to OPPRESS. Some ppl would even think driving your car by yourself is demeaning, You need to employ a driver and SIT at owners corner. Having your househelp sit in the living room watching TV is a sign of disrespect, Driver whistling a song is a sign of DISRESPECT etc

The Master of the House believe when you smile with your househelps you are not using your POWER appropriately, You should come in and everyone flee.

The Boss at work thinks When you see him and ask how his weekend was its DISRESPECT. You should see him and shiver.

The PAstor thinks when you look him in the eye and speak to him its DISRESPECT. You should see him call him Papa, Father in the LOrd, Your Highness, The most Holy, PAPA,

The Senior in School believes how can you even be gisting with Juniors, You must beat the Hell out of them to be a Respected senior.

FACT IS NIGERIANS ARE GENERALLY BULLIES and We have been brought up to RESPECT VIOLENCE

debrief08:
Did someone steal your password? You make a lot of sense today .
I agree except the "get used to it part", When we get use to violence then we become lower than animals

stillwater: You have to know your rights as a human being first for you to kick against violence.

debrief08:
I am saving this. Classic, beautiful, on point. Complete

aare07: lack of education is the big violence

debrief08: The only time we unanimously condemn violence in this society is when one person ends up dead, as long as the victim is alive we try to blame them especially when the victim speaks out.
I am not just speaking on spousal violence but even violence against maids and children. We read on how a maid is bathed with acid or hot water for the smallest perceived offense and some come out and say " you dont know these maids, some of them are witches" " we are not oyibos, we are trying to help these children, some of them do not have food in their house", " some of these maids are so slow and they can make you shout".
We justify and excuse women who hold their husbands by the collar and scream down the whole house scaring the kids, infact we accept it as "normal"

We justify hitting and even killing traffic officers, we justify mob action on suspected criminals (guilty or not), we justify and applaud public fighting, we cheer when some one "beats up " another and say the other person deserves it,we justify stripping down ladies because they stole a phone, a lot of people excused it when Oyedepo slapped the little girl and even cursed the Lawyer that saw this was wrong. Like someone says, we are deep rooted in violence and excusing violent behavior, we need to start from there. Let us talk more and use our hands and fists less. Every Sunday and Fridays we crowd churches and Mosques but during the week, we are angry aggressive people, what am I saying, most churches now are vengeance centers where we go to fight and kill our enemies, some mosques also breed violence where we promote death to anyone who offends our religion.

SO we have a very huge problem, bigger than we can imagine, this is beyond spousal abuse.
What do we do? Where do we start from?