Intro; In the land of Nairaland and a time of stale jokes, the destiny of the jokes section rests on the shoulders of a young man, his name . . . . . . . . . . . . .AKPORS.
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EPISODE 1
Unknown to them. The prison guards knew about their plans and had hidden in ambush on the day, but the guards couldn't understand why the prisoners didn't go through with their plans even when no-one was at the gate. So all the inmates were woken up the next morning and asked who their leader was but they refused to talk so they were denied food for three days. Having endured their predicament for the three days, they decided they could endure no more and so turned in Akpors, Twale and another inmate called Akrika.
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EPISODE 2
The three were brought out and told that they would be transferred to another prison, a tougher one popularly known as 'BAKIN WAK'E'. On their way to the prison they were each given money to buy one item which would help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus Twale turned to Akpors and said 'what did you buy?'. Akpors pulled out a box of paint and said he intended to paint anything he could. Then he asked Twale, Twale brought out a deck of cards and said ' with this i can play poker, solitaire, gin and a number of games.
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EPISODE 3
Akrika was sitting queitly grinning to himself. Akpors and Twale asked him what he brough, he brough out a box of tampon(women's pad or pampass) and said 'According to the box, with this i can go horseback riding, swimming roller-skating. . .' Akpors and Twale started laughing really hard at Akrika. Then the Police-driver told them to shut up and said ' if you know where you are going to, you would be crying by now''. They aske him where and he said doesn't the name of the prison sound Hausa-rish to them, they said yes and he told them ' well it is located in MAIDUGURI'' . . . . . . . . . . . . ,they wept.
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HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

EPISODE 4
Before reaching the main city of maiduguri, they were able to pass about 5 JTF checkpoints without hindraces because it was a police van but at the 6th check point the soldiers told the police driver to bring out the prisoners. They came down and were asked to frog jump which they did until their legs were sore and they were about to faint. After pleas from the police-driver they were allowed to continue on their journey. As they were going they saw a pillar with the inscription 'WELCOME TO MAIDUGURI, The home of Peace' . Akpors couldn't help but wonder why the slogan wasn't changed to 'HOME OF BH'.
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EPISODE 5
As they were going, the driver lost his way having overfed with garri the night before. He later entered one bush looking place not knowing it was a BH hide-out. They kept on going until they were attacked by BH members and ordered to come down. They came down and were asked to lie down, meanwhile the police-driver hadn't come out of the car yet and he used the chance to zoom off despite shots from the BH's Ak-47s that were inflicted on the van he managed to escape leaving Akpors, Twale and Akrika behind. The leader told the others to tie get them tie them and prepare the firing squad.
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EPISODE 6
Akpors, Twale and Akrika were visibly crying asking the BH to spare their lives but they refused. They were tied up in one place and Akpors was untied and brought forward. They wanted to shoot them one by one. Just as they were about to shoot him he shouts EARTHQUAKE. The BH went running and Akpors escapes before they realize there is no earthquake. They untied Twale and right before they shoot Twale he shouts TORNADO! Of course there is no Tornado but Twale escapes before they realize that. It was time for Akrika, he was untied and the leader goes 'Readyyy, Aim' then Akrika shouts like the others 'FIRE!!' .
May Akrika's soul rest in peace.

R.I.P

the last one got me laughing

9ice write up, am loving it!

EPISODE 7
Akpors was running in the bush and then he finds a small cave in which he hides. Amidst his worries he heard footsteps approaching and the person appeared to be running. After sometime he noticed the face of the person and it was Twale. He lept out of the cave with joy and hugged his friend. Then they waited for Akrika until nightfall and didn't see him so they decided to head towards the city, but on getting to the main road, they were caught by another group of soldiers who on seeing their prison uniforms immediately deported them to 'BAKIN WAK'E' prison nicknamed ''final destination''.
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EPISODE 8
The conditions in this prison were too horrible so Akpors and Twale devised a plan. And their plan was to start smoking weed to get their minds off their troubles and this they got from Audu a notorious drug dealer in the prison. Akpors and Twale were later caught smoking weed in their cells so they were arraigned before a judge for trial. The judge said, you seem like nice young men and i'd like to give you a second chance. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug abuse and get them to give up drugs forever. When you do that you will be transffered to a better prison. I'll see you back in court on monday. The two were desperate to go to a better prison so they set to work immediately.

Xymc, Realsammie, Teekrackz. One luv y'all.

Episode 9, episode 9, can't wait for episode 9......

Nice one bro, can i join in the script writing?

i love the suspense!

larride: Nice one bro, can i join in the script writing?

co-producer Season 3. 9 n 10 coming up soon!

EPISODE 9
On monday, Akpors and Twale were in court, and the judge said to Twale
Judge:How did you do over the weekend?
Twale: Well your honour i persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.
Judge: 17 people thats wonderful. What did you tell them?
Twale: I used a diagram i drew two circles like this; O and ¤ (a big circle and a small circle). And told them the first is your brain before drugs and the second is your brain after drugs.
Judge: that's admirable. And you Akpors how did you do?
Akpors: well your honour i persuaded 256 people to give up drugs forever.
Judge: 256 people that's amazing! How did you do that!
Akpors: well i used the same circles , i pointed to the small one and told them 'this is your as5hole before prison . . . . . . .' Akpors was released immediately with an all-expense paid trip back to Umukoro while Twale was transffered to a better prison but still in Maiduguri.
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EPISODE 10
Akpors bade Twale good-bye promising to come back and help him. He headed back to Umukuro and arrived after 2 days. At the bus stop his wife and son came to pick him up. After the huggings they entered the car and Akpors said only one thing 'F.F' his wife turned to him and answered 'E.F' out on the highway he said 'F.F'. She responded simply 'E.F'. He repeated 'F.F' She again replied 'E.F'. 'mama, papa' Ovrikpo yelled, what's going on? Akpors answered your mum wants to 'Eat First'.
THE END.
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Now Who can guess what 'F.F' Means?

Bleep first...*just saying*

Bleep first...*just saying*

It's radiant not just gorgeous!