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Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by slimyem: 3:37pm On Oct 10, 2012
ayobase:

Dont be too emotional about parallel titles as signs of respect!
.
exactly what most people are doing on this thread especially the diasporeans who mostly have lost touch with their African-ness...and see everything tied to tradition as backward or wrong.

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Daresh(f): 3:37pm On Oct 10, 2012
I'm igbo from Anambra state and dt is pure rubbish. Its all on ur husband. Even if its their tradition, he can stand for u and say no way. I guess he wants to humiliate you. Are u sure he even loves you?
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 3:38pm On Oct 10, 2012
jadakiss213: The 'Okija Shrine' saga readily comes to mind.. cheesy .


And What do you know about that?!
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by berylLOL(f): 3:38pm On Oct 10, 2012
this shudnt even be discussed at all, i see no reason y a woman has to save her marriage by callin her yhunga inlaws 'aunty'.it's degrading n deres nuffn traditional bout it.oh well except u proposed to him..just tell ur hubby u can't, haba, u shud be enjoyin his love n care not trying to 'save' ur marriage by callin his sisters 'aunty'.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by plendil: 3:39pm On Oct 10, 2012
Its important we strike a balance here.

Indeed it isn't or shouldn't be a big deal. If she feels demeaned calling someone younger than herself aunty, its because she chose to feel that way.

However, I think it goes beyond what the husband asked her to do, and what it portends for the future of the marriage, and it is here I do think he (hubby) should have been more considerate, not that I support her three days' malice just because of this issue.

Today he asking he to do something she is clearly uncomfortable with, in total disregard for her feelings. Tomorrow what will ask for, in the name of 'tradition' ? Not very healthy for a relationship,IMO.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by redsun(m): 3:40pm On Oct 10, 2012
aduje: @Poster, am sure your husband and her family grew up in Local Lagos Area (LLA) or in Ibadan. Those people are so ignorant no matter their education; if you communicate in English simply call them my inlaws...Take time to study the English Lexicons and understand the true meaning of Uncle, Aunty, etc. My wife use to call my younger brother Uncle P until my 4 years old son corrected her in the midst of people. The innocent boy simply said; "Mum, my uncle cannot be your uncle it is a big wrong way of addressing people...thats what my teacher said"

English language is very devastating to none english.People dont understand the words they use,and that is why they cant make meaningful headways.

The system as a whole is entrapped in some kind of illusions that have little or no meanings.Nothing is like what it seems.

Language is the soul of man,his inner self,his world and his imaginations.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by surmeister(m): 3:43pm On Oct 10, 2012
It is tradition so u have to do it. Calling Dem AUNTY or brother dos not belittle u. Or make u inferior. Anyways dere is room for dialogue. grin
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by jadakiss213(m): 3:45pm On Oct 10, 2012
Okija_juju:


And What do you know about that?!
my broda,many things now.haba..stop acting like you don't know..lol
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Ehijess(f): 3:47pm On Oct 10, 2012
Ujujoan:

So because she's married she should sell her pride just to preserve her 'Mrs' Status

na wah!

I find it very insulting that your husband will expect you to call his sister (who is younger that you are) 'Aunty'! It's very wrong and belittling. DONT DO IT. Let heaven fall down.

What will it be next? Wash her clotes, cook and serve her e.t.c.

Abeg they should go to hell jor.

I'm from Anambra State and I don't call my husband's sister (Who's 3 years older than I am) 'Aunty'! What nonsense?
what rubbish to call ur husband's younger ones aunty. For wat? How many jackpot dem don win? If ur husband support it,y does he not call dem aunty and uncle?
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Philolos: 3:47pm On Oct 10, 2012
Fancier: Whaoo, I really don't understand, if it was in the western part, i would understand at least a little, because i know they all go around calling people aunty and uncle irrespective of their age, as a sign of respect. I for one hate that title "Aunty" in fact that is the issue am having with our cleaner is the office presently. I can't stand an older person calling me aunty because he or she feels am in a better place position than him/her.

But before i comment, what were you calling them before you got married to their brother? and what was their reaction then? secondly if the relationship you have with them is a good one, call the babes to order and talk to them as an elder sister to a younger one. For crying out loud, are they staying with you and still single, tell them calling them aunty will chase suitors away from them, making them feel old undecided abi dem no go school how somebody older than you will be addressing you as aunty and you are comfortable with it just thinking out loud .. Mind you don't make this aunty seeking people cause problem between you and your hubby ooo But i hope they are not in anyway contributing to you or your family for demanding for this title Abeg Trend carefully.

Each station in life brings with it its own honor (or lack of) and respect. I’m assuming you are educated, enlightened, etc, hence you are being revered for your position. There is nothing wrong with your cleaner calling you Aunty (or Anti). Thank him/her for it and show you appreciate her/his work than being upset by it. Some people were very upset in the US because some people didn't call Obama, Mr. President. In the UK, some people in a position may prefer being called Mr. So&So rather than just Paul or Peter. On top of that, you have the Yoruba culture if you happen to be located in Lagos. To be cynical, you can demote yourself to her/his station and see how long you would last calling folks by their names just because you happen to be older than them. Again, I'm just trying to make my point of the cultural setting you and your cleaner happen to be in.

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by saintneo(m): 3:50pm On Oct 10, 2012
Compelete rubbish I must say. Call your in-laws by their first name with the exveption of father & mother in-laws.
Such respect is nowhere in Igboland.
Whatever your husband calls his people call them by the same name. Simples!
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by chucky234(m): 3:51pm On Oct 10, 2012
violent: Poster's written English has left me combobulated and utterly "downfounded". How can you, in 5 lines, do so much damage to grammar? shocked

You mentioned that you gave his siter 3 years. I honestly hope this singular act of generosity by you will not go unnoticed and unrewarded. Make sure you remind your husband every night before sleeping of your magnanimous gesture towards her sister.
What's the big deal about grammar,how many global awards has been awarded to you in reward for your grammar,beetle-headed goon.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by sherrylo: 3:51pm On Oct 10, 2012
@poster nairalanders ti le ni ile oko tan. This is a new family to u pls marry them and their want nd stop blabing over aunty and brother that will not cut of ur tongue. What is that gonna take away from you hen? Nothing! It will only give you more love
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by drzed: 3:52pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks

I understand your dilemma. Just call her Sister.
That is even more adorable and accurate (as per sister-in-law) than calling her Aunty.
End of story.

1 Like

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by gunners160(m): 3:53pm On Oct 10, 2012
Ujujoan: And seriously, these people saying 'what will it take from her' are you guys just not getting the issue here? This goes beyond greetings, this is a huge dis-respect.

In Igbo land, we respect our elders. It can NEVER be the reverse just beacuse you are a wife! The moment you start letting your in-laws take advantage of your just because your are married to their brother, your doom begins!

The woman is unhappy for God's sakes. You guys may call her petty but to her, it means a lot!

Personally, I won't do what is being requested of her. Not that it's a big deal to call someone 'Aunty', but it's wrong to force it on her!

wat d hell are u sayin?if her marriage shuld crush 2day because of dis wuld u marry her?
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 3:56pm On Oct 10, 2012
jadakiss213: my broda,many things now.haba..stop acting like you don't know..lol





My people (Ibos which also includes Okija People) have a saying that goes thus; Onye Ajuju Adighi efu uzo.. meaning He who asks for directions never gets lost.. Please do tell me these many things.. We Okijans would lik eto know..
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by plendil: 3:59pm On Oct 10, 2012
gunners160: wat d hell are u sayin?if her marriage shuld crush 2day because of dis wuld u marry her?

if the marriage should crash today (God forbid) because of something as trivial as this, then they both have seroius issues

2 Likes

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by berryjay: 3:59pm On Oct 10, 2012
This is not an issue, The easiest way to do it is to pretend that she is ur husbands elder sister, and try to enjoy urself while calling her names... You don't live with her and tnk God she is female.. She go soon marry , she too go start to call person wey she senior with 9 yrs aunty.. Ma dear, u played the game to get married.. Play the game to stay married!!! Be smart and follow all d rules...

2 Likes

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by chucky234(m): 4:01pm On Oct 10, 2012
Nigerians and cultures,if your hubby says you should address his younger sister by aunty then do so,he should make sure the sister(s) return same respect to you. Calling her/them aunty will take nothing away from you,if that's what makes your hubby happy then so be it.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by omonikiba(f): 4:01pm On Oct 10, 2012
Well, to me respect is reciprocal, if they call you aunty pls add aunty or brother to their names, no long thing, but if they call you by your name, call them by their names too.

On the other hand, I see where you hubby is going to, he doesn't want to see them shout your name like that that is why he is saying do it first so that he can correct them to call you aunty if by chance they call you by your name, pls I beg you call them aunty or brother, they will in turn do the same even if they are not corrected.

My hubby's cousin then used to. Call me by my name, this girls I tell lack what they call respect, I call them sisto, even the very little ones I funkinize their names but yet call me by my name, one time my hubby just slam one of them one day and since then, them no born them well to call me by my name, even the one who prove heady wiLl not even call me, she will walk up to me to start talking but later she add the aunty by force.

So do your part and watch you hubby, he is going somewhere. Pls don't keep malice with him ooo, for three days not talking? Were you able to sleep, pray or even laugh? You will soon look old if you continue bottling little things as this. Be cheerful my sister.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by confetti(f): 4:02pm On Oct 10, 2012
Its surprising hearing many pple here saying this practice is not true. It is a culture in Igboland that any woman married into a house or family must respect and greet everyone she met in the family once that one is not a toddler. This is why many married women even 20 years older than I am still greet me and call me "nne anyi" each time I go home or visit them.

what i think is important here is striking a balance,The fact that these women greet me doesn't mean I don't greet them in return or disrespect them. What is important is understanding that what the person is doing is just an act of respect as custom demands so importance shouldn't be attached to it. In this way, both the person greeting and the person being greeted are quite free with it.

I don't know about the issue of calling them Aunties as the name is not even Igbo per say but it all depends on the pple you are calling that. A sensible woman would also call you back Aunty knowing you are older than her just to balance the equation.

So my friend, Am from Imo state and it is Igbo tradition. If your In-laws have respect, they will greet you back but if they don't and its a family that is particular about the greeting, well you have to. Its otherwise when pple on their own decide not to implement it.

If this becomes a big quarrel and your to take it to your family, am sure elders will tell you that is tradition. The onus lies on whomever wants to practice it or not.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by jadakiss213(m): 4:02pm On Oct 10, 2012
Okija_juju:


My people (Ibos which also includes Okija People) have a saying that goes thus; Onye Ajuju Adighi efu uzo.. meaning He who asks for directions never gets lost.. Please do tell me these many things.. We Okijans would lik eto know..
naah.that would mean derailing this thread..not sure I want to do that..Buh seriously u must be kidding me by saying u dnt know what Okija is 'renowned' for in Nigeria.U must be a comedian.lol
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by tellwisdom: 4:05pm On Oct 10, 2012
Aunty/brother..for wetin?? angry angry angry
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by gunners160(m): 4:06pm On Oct 10, 2012
op dis is my final advise 4 u anybody telin u it is nt rite or sayin it is disrespectul 2 kal ur husband sis anty is AN ENEMY OF PROGRESS!wuld u lose ur matrimonial hm just because of kalin sum1 anty?dnt u know dat 1ce a ladi is married 2 a man she is also married 2 his family?may had i no nt b ur last word.THINK
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Okijajuju1(m): 4:11pm On Oct 10, 2012
jadakiss213: naah.that would mean derailing this thread..not sure I want to do that..Buh seriously u must be kidding me by saying u dnt know what Okija is 'renowned' for in Nigeria.U must be a comedian.lol



Okija that I know of.. They are a very industrous community, loving, hardworking and prosperous.. I will be even passing through there tomorrow onmy road trip to Enugu.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by SamAfrik(m): 4:12pm On Oct 10, 2012
[quote author=tunapawizzy]

walahi if u call dem aunty u be mumu....no allow love rob u of ur sense o....aunty kor...mummy ni...you go call person wey u old pass aunty.
Hahahaha fueling d quarrel already.
@ OP solution is in ur hubby's hand jare.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by RoselynDavid: 4:14pm On Oct 10, 2012
my dear. If dats d only solution 4 peace @ home. Just do it. Bt have it in mind dat it wil nt b 4eva. It just a mata of tym. Besides dey wont live wit u 4eva. . Remember PATIENT IS VIRTIUE
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by sashaa(f): 4:21pm On Oct 10, 2012
What nonsense is this, biko? I am from anambra and we have no such culture. What baffles me more is ur husbands stance on the issue. What sort of man subscribes to his wife being belittled?

Op, just ignore them. Dont even bring up the issue with ur husband. Am sure with time they will realize u aint to be messed with.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by jadakiss213(m): 4:24pm On Oct 10, 2012
Okija_juju:

Okija that I know of.. They are a very industrous community, loving, hardworking and prosperous.. I will be even passing through there tomorrow onmy road trip to Enugu.
such a funny dude..The name 'Okija' sends shivers down d spines of many pple including yours sincerely..(Due to an experience then) buh really as at that time Okija=Ritual killings....I was part of a team that went there after the news broke..It was not funny @ all..don't know if things have changed there now.
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by Ossaifamous(m): 4:33pm On Oct 10, 2012
uboma: I'm not frm Anambra so i am not familiar with their culture. But i think u shod address them simply as inlaws instead of having to cal a gal u r older than 'aunty'. U need to also make ur husband see the need why his younger siblings shod have respect for u. Just my 2 cents

my brother this ur advice make sense but if u let this unlawful scatter her marriage ... NA U go provide another one for her
abeg my sister greet devil "Aje sir ... make e leave u o even Yoruba ppl talk am je ka pe were ni Ojo iyawo ka le ri ono gba
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by OILOFGLADNESS: 4:37pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks


I DONT WANT TO READ OTHERS POST SO THAT I WONT CHANGE MY MIND ON WHAT I WANT TO ADVISE YOU.
MY DEAR I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE AN IGBO GIRL , BEFORE I GO ON TO MY COMMENTS I AV TO REMIND YOU THAT OKIJA IS ONE OF THE CONTROVERSIAL PLACE IN IGBO LAND. I AM FROM ANAMBRA TOO, ONE OF THE TOWN IN NNEWI SOUTH AND WE DONT HAVE LAY DOWN RULE OR TRADITION ON HOW WE ADDRESS OUR INLAWS.

PLEASE, BIBLE TOLD US TO BE WISE AS SERPENT AND TO PURSUE PEACE,
I AM NOT IN SUPPORT OF THEM TELLING YOU OR FORCING YOU TO CALL YOUR YOUNGER ONES YOU MARRIED TO THEIR FAMILY AUNTY OR UNCLE COS THEY ARE NOT UR AUNTY NEITHER ARE THEY YOUR UNCLE.

ONE THING I LIKE IBO IS THAT THEY HAVE PET NAMES EVEN FROM UNIVERSITY LEVEL 90% OF NAMES ARE NOT CALLED IN FULL , ITS BEING PRONUONCED AND ABBREVIATED IN A SWEET WAY, LIKE NKECHI IS NK, ANULIKA, IS NULI, ETC OR BETTER STILL IF TYHEY ARE MARRIED CALL THEM BYTHEIR CHILDREN NAME, BUT TJIS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED WITH YOUR HUSBAND FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND, DEAR IF HE INSIST THAT IT IS TRADITION PLEASE CALL THE TO FULLFILL ALL RIGHTOUSNESS , IT DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU ARE HUMILATING YOURSELF, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR RIGHT, AS THE BETTER HALF AND THE LOVE OF THEIR BROTHER.

NOW COMING T O GREETING, BIBKE SAID "AJIKWALA ONYEOBULA UGWO EKELE" PLS YOU CAN EVEN GREET A SMALL CHILD, GREETING UIS JUST COURTESY ,, I DONT SEE IT AS RESPECT .

MY DEAR GREATING THEN WONT REMOVE ANYTHING FROM YOU INSTEAD IT ADDS TO UR VALUE. BUT I STILL EMPHASIZE THAT YOUR RESPECT LIES IN THE WAY YOU TAKE THEM, REMEMBER RESPECT IS RECIPROCAL. IT PAYS TO BE HUMBLE

FIRST UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF FAMILY AND COMUNITY YOU ARE MARRIED TI, THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO

ON THE CONTRARY IN OUR PLACE WE CHERISH OUR WIVES, THEY ARE LIKE QUEEN, NO MATTER THEIR AGE, COS THAT IS PRINCIPLE OF CHRISTIANITY.


WISH YOU GODS GRACE!
Re: Should I Greet & Call My Husband's Younger Sister 'Aunty'? by OILOFGLADNESS: 4:37pm On Oct 10, 2012
gnchetts: Please house I need an advice for this.

I'll clock 29yrs old on Jan 4th and my Husband is only 2 months older than me.I didn't really bother about the age barrier because I was already deeply in love with him before I found out.

My problem now is that am being forced to call his younger ones Aunty's and brothers and greet them in the morning. This is really very difficult for me because I gave his immediate younger sister 3years and my husband is even supporting them that is their tradition in Okija,Anambra state but I've never had about such tradition in any part of Igbo land.

Please what do I do. Am really dumbfounded.I've not been talking to my husband for 3days now and am not ready to visit his family until u advise me on the right thing to do. Because am not ready to humiliate myself to that extend.

thanks


I DONT WANT TO READ OTHERS POST SO THAT I WONT CHANGE MY MIND ON WHAT I WANT TO ADVISE YOU.
MY DEAR I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE AN IGBO GIRL , BEFORE I GO ON TO MY COMMENTS I AV TO REMIND YOU THAT OKIJA IS ONE OF THE CONTROVERSIAL PLACE IN IGBO LAND. I AM FROM ANAMBRA TOO, ONE OF THE TOWN IN NNEWI SOUTH AND WE DONT HAVE LAY DOWN RULE OR TRADITION ON HOW WE ADDRESS OUR INLAWS.

PLEASE, BIBLE TOLD US TO BE WISE AS SERPENT AND TO PURSUE PEACE,
I AM NOT IN SUPPORT OF THEM TELLING YOU OR FORCING YOU TO CALL YOUR YOUNGER ONES YOU MARRIED TO THEIR FAMILY AUNTY OR UNCLE COS THEY ARE NOT UR AUNTY NEITHER ARE THEY YOUR UNCLE.

ONE THING I LIKE IBO IS THAT THEY HAVE PET NAMES EVEN FROM UNIVERSITY LEVEL 90% OF NAMES ARE NOT CALLED IN FULL , ITS BEING PRONUONCED AND ABBREVIATED IN A SWEET WAY, LIKE NKECHI IS NK, ANULIKA, IS NULI, ETC OR BETTER STILL IF TYHEY ARE MARRIED CALL THEM BYTHEIR CHILDREN NAME, BUT TJIS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED WITH YOUR HUSBAND FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND, DEAR IF HE INSIST THAT IT IS TRADITION PLEASE CALL THE TO FULLFILL ALL RIGHTOUSNESS , IT DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU ARE HUMILATING YOURSELF, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR RIGHT, AS THE BETTER HALF AND THE LOVE OF THEIR BROTHER.

NOW COMING T O GREETING, BIBKE SAID "AJIKWALA ONYEOBULA UGWO EKELE" PLS YOU CAN EVEN GREET A SMALL CHILD, GREETING UIS JUST COURTESY ,, I DONT SEE IT AS RESPECT .

MY DEAR GREATING THEN WONT REMOVE ANYTHING FROM YOU INSTEAD IT ADDS TO UR VALUE. BUT I STILL EMPHASIZE THAT YOUR RESPECT LIES IN THE WAY YOU TAKE THEM, REMEMBER RESPECT IS RECIPROCAL. IT PAYS TO BE HUMBLE

FIRST UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF FAMILY AND COMUNITY YOU ARE MARRIED TI, THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO

ON THE CONTRARY IN OUR PLACE WE CHERISH OUR WIVES, THEY ARE LIKE QUEEN, NO MATTER THEIR AGE, COS THAT IS PRINCIPLE OF CHRISTIANITY.


WISH YOU GODS GRACE!

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