I will advise you to go pursue ur grad prog. Being USA (not UK), who knows u may just get some job opportunities at the end of your prog there. Besides, ur current job av doesn’t seem fantastic from d tone of ur post so u may not be missing anything if u resign & go ahead wt ur grad studies.

Now on d marriage part, it will need some more in-depth thinking. Like some other posters av already said here, marriage comes with its responsibilities; we cant overemphasize that.

A lot of scenarios will likely play out.
1. If u marry now, will ur wife accompany u to the US?
a. If yes, au do u intend to cope wt living expense there esp while u’l be @ grad schl, considering d fact again that u’l b on partial scholarship?
b. If no, will ur wife & her pple agree 4 her 2 b in naija while u r away, 4 2yr+ u said? Start 2 thnk of au u’l convince ‘em. & where will she be, wt her parents, urs or on her own?
2. If ur beau is currently working & er earnings can sustain her; I will suggest that she doesn’t resign 2 follow u but u’l need 2 structure ur visits in those 2 yrs+
3. If ur beau isn’t currently working; then u default to option 1 above & explore either a or b + u may just put off d marriage 4 now??
4. Now, if u don’t get a job immediately after ur grad prog in the US, wot happens? Au will u & wifey , maybe baby sef cope?

In conclusion, I will say that d marriage part depend solely on u & ur beau….u really nd 2 sit down & work out d intricacies & possible scenarios.
All d best, buddy!

I won't mind doing all at the same time.

Coldfeet: If you are a woman get married first! Put babies on hold! Then go for your studies.

nairaland quality advice

pray tell what "achievement" this will be? what will be the reason for this advice?

marrying then....? to what point or purpose will the marriage be to? just to bear mrs and flaunt a ring? is that all?


no wonder marriages dont last 2 yrs nowadays

All of d above@d same time is preferable.

dont marry if u cant sustain it or if u cant be sustained, secondly if get your degree is there job security in this global economy, if u do have a contract job you could take an online course while studying, that way, you dont loose anything and if u decide not to further your studies, start a business of your own, it all boils down to social n financial security, but the question remains,is there any financial security in this global economy, i dont care if u have 10 phd's,take greece n spain for an example, i know they have graduates in their midst but does their degrees entitle them to a job.Be wise

chreld_b:


@ bolded. Why? If i may ask. #just curious#

living abroad is not usually the way most people paint it. I had thought it'll be Eldorado. I was drunk in fantasies of utopia before I left. it has however not been the imagined city flowing with milk and honey as people paint it. . Now, it has also dawned on me that 'it's all about the Benjamines'.if you have a money mine now, just hold on tight to it (provided it's legit). Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them - Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body (Ecc 12: 12) but Money anwereth all things (Ecc 10:19)

pato405:

living abroad is not usually the way most people paint it. I had thought it'll be Eldorado. I was drunk in fantasies of utopia before I left. it has however not been the imagined city flowing with milk and honey as people paint it. . Now, it has also dawned on me that 'it'll about the Benjamines'.if you have a money mine now, just hold on tight to it (provided it's legit). Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them - Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body (Ecc 12: 12) but Money anwereth all things (Ecc 10:19)

I feel you bro. Been there! But what I have come to realise is that a postgrad up to PhD level is no longer about the benjamins. There's more to it. Money usually comes as a by product. If you are lucky

4llerbuntu:

nairaland quality advice

pray tell what "achievement" this will be? what will be the reason for this advice?

marrying then....? to what point or purpose will the marriage be to? just to bear mrs and flaunt a ring? is that all?


no wonder marriages dont last 2 yrs nowadays

I see you are a penguin too? I love penguins so cute and sweet looking! Nice to make your acquaintance have a lovely evening.

chreld_b:

I feel you bro. Been there! But what I have come to realise is that a postgrad up to PhD level is no longer about the benjamins. There's more to it. Money usually comes as a by product. If you are lucky

some do it for social status or pride in their educational background, i know someone who has a phd and lived on government assistance.i guess he just wasted money n time,...educated fool i would call him.

trolling:
some do it for social status or pride in their educational background, i know someone who has a phd and lived on government assistance.i guess he just wasted money n time,...educated fool i would call him.

it becomes news when the subject has a phd

Coldfeet: If you are a woman get married first! Put babies on hold! Then go for your studies.


If a man GO for your studies! Get a good job! Then get married with surplus women available to pick from.


If you are a woman approaching 30! And you listen to those telling you to go for your studies be ready to listen to this same people as they castigate you that you were busy chasing money when your mates were getting married!

Anyway which ever is in line with your goal and purpose for your life! Best of luck.

Marry and put babies on hold? You dey maddd? Better not marry at all that keep a poor man waiting for the joys of fatherhood because of your useless career.

van bonattel:

Marry and put babies on hold? You dey maddd? Better not marry at all that keep a poor man waiting for the joys of fatherhood because of your useless career.

Valid sweet point where is the OP na

MyJwell: it depends...how old are you?...if you are a man and below 35...pls go for your studies and thereafter, get yourself a good job to be properly equipped for marriage. Getting married entails a whole lot of responsibilities that requires you to have a good source of income.

Others might see your post differently but for me, you are spot on.
Good point!

agbari socket: Igbo na robbery then go first choose.Bleep their mama and papa

Did i not tell you its past bedtime for you?, Oya go back to sleep and dont get down from the bed until i say so. Stvpid child

condralbede: Well for me oh....i dey enta yankee go finish my studies,come back look for job n den come tink of getting married.more money more bitches.

"Bitches"really?does that include your sisters?just asking.

Hmm that's a serious issue. Am currently serving nd will really like d answers that are given in dis thread.
In other news * olamide's voice*...I can't seem 2 use d smileys on NL when I loggin thru my BB.
Pls is this a general problem, or is there some thing am not doing?

And who says you cannot get married and go with your wife since you are on scholarship. I have lots and lots of friends that did same. So, it's not a bad idea.

For your job, take leave of absence if your company would approve. If after your program you get a god job over there, then throw in your resignation.

However, bear in mind...don't sacrifice your intending family (wife or husband) because you are going for a postgraduate program abroad....Always remember the biblical saying ''The stone that the builders rejected has now become the chief cornerstone''. He/She might be all that you need after all.

Best wishes in your decision.

The US is not as sweet as people think but nonetheless, it is way better than the UK. Talking from first-hand experience, there is no limit to what you can become in the US when you are willing to work hard. However from my experience, most guys that come here (US) single - no introduction, no marriage, nothing, usually end up marrying Nigerians or Akatas living in the US because of papers. Be it as it may, if you really love your girl, then you guys should do your introduction before you leave for your graduate degree. Without that, you can kiss your relationship "goodbye" cos there are lots of "fine babes" that will make you forget your girlfriend in weeks.

Note: I'd strongly advise that you give the partial scholarship some serious thoughts. It might be that one opportunity you've been waiting for all your life.

pato405: A couple of yrs ago, I was in this same quandary, guess what, I took a big risk, dived into the Uk for postgrad. Now, I sometyms regret such decision, but friends tell me to cheer up, afterall, I have achieved an Msc & also pursuing a PhD via scholarship which came merely by chance/ grace - sheer chance I believe because if I claim it was merit, there were a lot of students from different parts of the world who also applied along side with me. some, as a matter of fact, had very good MSc grades.

In summary, it's not been rosy. if I'll be candid with you, I'll advise you to be strategic. do not resign your job if you must travel out for Msc. it's pretty difficult getting a job abroad in this time of economic quagmire. otherwise, you'll return begging for a job you despised. a study leave will be ideal. there are possibilities of being made a permanent staff when you return with your postgrad cert. if eventually, you get a job in US after MSc, then you can throw in a resignation letter. marriage may not be a bad option, but that decision is left to you. if you find a good lady (which can be difficult these days too) who's willing to support your meagre income, both of you can pull through while you hold on to your current job and advance your studies latter (it's never late). Infact, this might even be the better option.

100 likes. Nothing else to add. Learn from people mistakes.

Life actually is about taking risk but it is good to take a calculate risk to avoid intense damage if things backfire. Let me relate your situation to the experience of someone I know very well. I am sure you will learn from what happen to him.
He was in his early thirties in 2009 and was working with a monthly salary of 135K per month. As he was thinking about marriage, he had a scholarship for his master program and was kind of confused. The guy was very intelligent and practical in his decision. As a true Christian and not the so called fake brothers we have around these days, I believed he prayed and took a calculated risk. He accepted the scholarship, applied for leave of work without pay for two years and completed the introduction of his fiancee who was then in 100L in the University-a very pretty damsel (who says there are no virtuous girls in Nigeria, the girl was 21/22 years then).
He told me that whenever he finishes his master degree, if he has no work abroad he will return back to his work in Nigeria but if opportunity arises after the master degree, he will resign finally from his former company.in both ways, he would loose nothing. On the other hand, I discussed with him about his pretty damsel (his fiancee) if she would be able to wait. He said my friend I trust that girl as a real Christian and I will try my best to encourage her to remain virtuous. But if she couldn't it means it was not meant to be. Throughout the period of his master degree, he kept communication line between his former company and his fiancee in Nigeria University. He planned for a post MSc life both for Nigeria and Abroad. He was so realistic and yet so faithful and optimistic. When he finished two years later, He has five international offers in a reputable company and institutions even at that age, that he has to be making choices, I mean in Europe and America. His fiancee on the other hand was serious with her academic and never looked elsewhere with all her beauty. Some Nigerian girls are really virtuous but I believed the rampancy of bad ones makes us assume every Nigerian girl is promiscuous. To cut the long story short, they wedded last year as the wife was in her final year. They lived abroad at the moment as expatriate
I believed you can learn one or two things from the short story of my personal friend I just related to you. Plan, pray, be realistic and yet be optimistic. Try and take a calculated risk.
Goodluck

4 ladies the more degree yu got d less chance of finding a man,no sensible man want 2 keep a phd wife while he has 1st degree wat do ladies need all this big big intimidating degree for?

Virtue_11: Life actually is about taking risk but it is good to take a calculate risk to avoid intense damage if things backfire. Let me relate your situation to the experience of someone I know very well. I am sure you will learn from what happen to him.
He was in his early thirties [/b]in 2009 and was working with a monthly salary of 135K per month. As he was thinking about marriage, he had a scholarship for his master program and was kind of confused. The guy was very intelligent and practical in his decision. As a true Christian and not the so called fake brothers we have around these days, I believed he prayed and took a calculated risk. He accepted the scholarship, applied for leave of work without pay for two years and completed the introduction of [b]his fiancee who was then in 100L in the University-a very pretty damsel (who says there are no virtuous girls in Nigeria, the girl was 21/22 years then).
He told me that whenever he finishes his master degree, if he has no work abroad he will return back to his work in Nigeria but if opportunity arises after the master degree, he will resign finally from his former company.in both ways, he would loose nothing. On the other hand, I discussed with him about his pretty damsel (his fiancee) if she would be able to wait. He said my friend I trust that girl as a real Christian and I will try my best to encourage her to remain virtuous. But if she couldn't it means it was not meant to be. Throughout the period of his master degree, he kept communication line between his former company and his fiancee in Nigeria University. He planned for a post MSc life both for Nigeria and Abroad. He was so realistic and yet so faithful and optimistic. When he finished two years later, He has five international offers in a reputable company and institutions even at that age, that he has to be making choices, I mean in Europe and America. His fiancee on the other hand was serious with her academic and never looked elsewhere with all her beauty. Some Nigerian girls are really virtuous but I believed the rampancy of bad ones makes us assume every Nigerian girl is promiscuous. To cut the long story short, they wedded last year as the wife was in her final year. They lived abroad at the moment as expatriate
I believed you can learn one or two things from the short story of my personal friend I just related to you. Plan, pray, be realistic and yet be optimistic. Try and take a calculated risk.
Goodluck

Are you serious? old man marrying a 100level student? wetin happen to girls his own mate/level e no fit oppress them abi?

Most of us are missing the point.. We are talking about contract job here with no job security and a schorlarship for a grad program in US.
If i should weigh the 2 options, i think the later offers better prospect. As for marriage, just do the introduction and dnt be scared about loosing ur spouse.

I have friends that have stayed close to 5yrs as contract staff without confirmation.. Meaning they can be layed off anytime without entitlement. Plz Op where do you see urself in 5yrs from now and compare it with obtaining the US degree.

Are people on Student visas barred from travelling outside the country(US)?

Save some money, buy tickets for both of you


Tell your Gf/Fiance to apply for scholarship also, you just never know

Beethoven
Be it as it may, if you really love your girl, then you guys should do your introduction before you leave for your graduate degree. Without that, you can kiss your relationship "goodbye" cos there are lots of "fine babes" that will make you forget your girlfriend in weeks.

My Vicky: Which is advisable? To continue working as a contract staff with no job security, marry in such an uncertain condition or take a partial scholarship offer to pursue graduate studies in the United States of America thereby postponing wedding for 2+ years?
It is very pitiable that so many companies still thrive in Nigeria by subjecting graduates to the so called 'contract employment' agreement and the Nigerian graduates are just comfortable with such 'inhuman' and obnoxious terms and agreement. The challenges of a homo sapien are multi faceted; you have got to think about good job, marriage, personal development, advanced degrees and the likes. which one should come first? Should it depend on the individual or circumstances of life?

I was in ur situation before I decided to leave for my masters. If you're engaged to be married in naija you can always come back for the wedding maybe after a yr of study. Just keep it moving. I dont know how old you are buh i'm 24 finished my NYSC and might find a naija man to marry in the US becos u never know.

One thing is sure , live to make your life long and service to your ppl . I was in ur position , there is nothing better than improving urself whilst the opportunity presents itself .
I wanted to futher my studies @ the same time get married ,I put marriage first cause I felt I was on the right path .
Fast fwd.. .I was dumped like a piece of rubbish cause the other party lost interest
My dear friend move fwd, don't compromise ur tomorrow , as u go into the world and futher away from Nigeria , you'll meet the most outstanding and astonishing ppl . If after ur studies that person is still waiting , it will be very humble of u to marry her/ him.
You'll be doing ur generation a service if you are better than what u r today. You'll always find love .


Chief Tecumseh's words of wisdom:

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep
and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

My Vicky: Which is advisable? To continue working as a contract staff with no job security, marry in such an uncertain condition or take a partial scholarship offer to pursue graduate studies in the United States of America thereby postponing wedding for 2+ years?
It is very pitiable that so many companies still thrive in Nigeria by subjecting graduates to the so called 'contract employment' agreement and the Nigerian graduates are just comfortable with such 'inhuman' and obnoxious terms and agreement. The challenges of a homo sapien are multi faceted; you have got to think about good job, marriage, personal development, advanced degrees and the likes. which one should come first? Should it depend on the individual or circumstances of life?

If ur picking graduate option, marry b4 doing so cos u myt not marry her anymore oh

Postgraduate study in what exactly?

@OP it still depends on you. What is your current salary? any prospect or opportunity of being staffed permanently in your current job? For my own experience, I was in your shoe 8years ago. I had excellent grade in my field and went for a contract job in an oil exploration company in nigeria. 2 yrs later I wanted to quit for masters/PhD or continue the job and get married but after serious thought and prayers, I got married, got an international job that triple my nigeria salary just 3months into marriage. Now, I have joined another international company in a senior position. I can pay for my studies to any level. In a nut shell, your current job experience matters alot. If you know you are not getting marketable experience in your current job, then think otherwise but if yes stick to it and send your cvs out and plan for your marriage. There is always natural blessings attached to marriage. Above all, pray fervently for divine guidiance. It is well with you.