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Quiet Moms - Family - Nairaland

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Quiet Moms by Nobody: 10:49am On Oct 18, 2012
One day, you were having some talks with your mum on general issues. Then, you asked her, "mum, what was your relationship with your inlaws like when you and dad were still newly weds?
Well, she talks about mother-inlaw happily but when it came to her brother and sister inlaws, her mood changed. Her story of them was just about their wickedness to her. She was reduced to nothing just because she got married to their brother and also because she is the quiet type....false accusations, maltreatment, insults, etc and more of them came from the sister-inlaws. Now, just maybe, you didnt beleive all that because you know your mum as the type that is peace-loving and quiet. Then, you happen to be in a situation where same behaviour was meted out on you...what will be your reaction? Will just sit and look cus they are probably married or much older than you are?
Re: Quiet Moms by UjSizzle(f): 11:07am On Oct 18, 2012
It's best not to fight with them until you've gained enough allies in that house. Better still I'll just leave their precious village for them and happily stay with my boo in his house. I can only swallow so much insults for so long oo...everyone has a breaking point.
Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 11:11am On Oct 18, 2012
To add to that, if you were also to witness such demeaning acts being lashed out on your mom, which was clear to you that your mom is innocent, what will be your reaction?
Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 11:13am On Oct 18, 2012
uj_sizzle: It's best not to fight with them until you've gained enough allies in that house. Better still I'll just leave their precious village for them and happily stay with my boo in his house. I can only swallow so much insults for so long oo...everyone has a breaking point.
what if you cant just leave their precious village until after some months?
Re: Quiet Moms by AnodaIT(m): 11:17am On Oct 18, 2012
Igbos can be very possessive of their brothers especially the senior ones and also especially if he was the one that was first trained or schooled to take care of the rest.

They see the new comer as a threat to their investment .

It is also seen in other parts of Nigeria but most prevalent in the east.

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Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 11:19am On Oct 18, 2012
AnodaIT: Igbos can be very possessive of their brothers especially the senior ones and also especially if he was the one that was first trained or schooled to take care of the rest.

They see the new comer as a threat to their investment .

It is also seen in other parts of Nigeria but most prevalent in the east.
that is true...now, what about the question about you witnessing such act been carried out on your mum?
Re: Quiet Moms by UjSizzle(f): 11:22am On Oct 18, 2012
Maria-G:
To add to that, if you were also to witness such demeaning acts being lashed out on your mom, which was clear to you that your mom is innocent, what will be your reaction?

my OWN mother? Babe i go shout back. A crime against me I can endure..one against someone i love n care about is unforgivable, hmm i will sooooo lash out at them. They can't kill me now, my mum may have bn brought into the family but i was born there.

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Re: Quiet Moms by AnodaIT(m): 11:39am On Oct 18, 2012
Maria-G:
that is true...now, what about the question about you witnessing such act been carried out on your mum?

My Father should be able to handle them cos I know some people have a lot of respect for their senior bro, but if my Father is unwilling or incapable that means he is subtly telling me to stand up to them myself. And that is what I would do not minding whether they are older or married - since they have decided to lower their respect by poking their nose in 'another' person's family they should be told in clear terms that they should mind their family.

How about the family relocating from there? I know it may be difficult for first born.

But then what are married sister in laws still doing in their father's or brother's house. Ask them for me
Re: Quiet Moms by MRAJETUNMOBI: 12:29pm On Oct 18, 2012
Hi mary
Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 1:28pm On Oct 18, 2012
MR AJETUNMOBI: Hi mary
lol, you mean maria?

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Re: Quiet Moms by obasijoy(f): 1:59pm On Oct 18, 2012
first, why are they attacking your mumsy? doesn't she have a male child? i hope your your mum doesn't discourage your dad from giving some alms to his people. #only me, my hubby and my children# that's some of the reasons why some sister or brother in-laws will fight their brother's wife. but is your dad not strong? only God knows the kind of my person. i am a female that acts like a man. if its me and i'm sure my mum is innocent, i must make sure i put those my uncles and aunt where they belong. i must insult and fight them to the last. its either they kill me or i kill them. everything has boundary but my mummy must be innocent of whatever they are accusing her of.
Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 2:28pm On Oct 18, 2012
obasijoy: first, why are they attacking your mumsy? doesn't she have a male child? i hope your your mum doesn't discourage your dad from giving some alms to his people. #only me, my hubby and my children# that's some of the reasons why some sister or brother in-laws will fight their brother's wife. but is your dad not strong? only God knows the kind of my person. i am a female that acts like a man. if its me and i'm sure my mum is innocent, i must make sure i put those my uncles and aunt where they belong. i must insult and fight them to the last. its either they kill me or i kill them. everything has boundary but my mummy must be innocent of whatever they are accusing her of.
lol, now this cracked me up. well, about your question, its something general, not my mumsy. ok, about the male child, what if he is just 8-9 years old? and coming to popsy, what if he is the type that is kinda weak when it comes to his brothers and sisters? surprisingly, such men exist.
Re: Quiet Moms by obasijoy(f): 3:31pm On Oct 18, 2012
since its a general problem and your parents are calm at it. i will advice you to also play along with your parents. just play cool too and be looking at them. they will get tired one day.
Re: Quiet Moms by Nobody: 7:08pm On Oct 18, 2012
obasijoy: since its a general problem and your parents are calm at it. i will advice you to also play along with your parents. just play cool too and be looking at them. they will get tired one day.
babygirl, you misunderstanding me.... I said supposing such happens in your family,what will be your reaction?
Re: Quiet Moms by obasijoy(f): 10:05am On Oct 19, 2012
you have to let us know what the problem is first before i will let you know my reaction. but from your write up, Though i can be stubborn at times but in this situation, i wouldn't react. i will play along with my parents. it depends on the situation on ground.

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