bunmi2012:

I am not scared of bringing up two kids on my own,because he really does not contribute much to their life. He is too busy looking for money instead of concentrating on them.

He has been busy looking for money since the past 8years and no show? I'm sure it's frustration that is making him to act the way he does. Had it been he's been lazy waiting for your salary is another issue. Some people can't handle been frustrated but that is no excuse for abuse.

You are in the best position to decide what you want to do.

my sister pls bear it 4 d sake of ur children, urs is even better my husband dont sleep wiyh me bcus he has many out side.

...

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Now the post above is called an upper-cut punch. Sir plz avoid doing this to a lady. durobraham gave good tips dat i hope the lady can learn sumthing useful frm.

...

I wonder why people come to internet forums to table their marital issues. Especially now that almost every fool has access to the internet.
I wonder the kind of advice you hhope to get here!

Curiosity got the better of me and i went through the posts of durothrash.
You are just a kid, spend your time wisely and build a decent life. I'm way out of your league.

Now let me school your dumb asss.

BlueDiva:

@OP
The woman/man always paints a very bad picture of the spouse while not mentioning their faults.

These faults might be what is making the partner act the way they do.
He is your hubby, you dated him and loved him before. Figure him out!

If a person claims his/her partner has changed and become a beast, first question to ask is why?
If he/she was a beast in the first instance then there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place.

If a good man/woman becomes bad, please do a serious soul search.
What went wrong? Could it be something I'm doing/not doing?

A nagging wife should expect resentment from her husband and ultimately, negative attitude.
A drunkard of a husband and a wife beater doesn't expect to still have a loving woman as a wife.

Now, if the man/woman is perfect and the spouse just changes for no reason (very unlikely) then it is unfortunate.
Blame your bad luck for marrying a devil and don't come whining on cyberspace.

A partner in an unhappy marriage has a choice of leaving or to stick in there.
Either way it is your cross. Coming online to claim Mr or Mrs Perfect married to a devil is disgusting.

You were not blind neither did you marry at gun point.

Go for counseling, therapy or whatever can help your solve your problems.
Coming to nairaland to seek advice from unmarried single mums like durothrash who still daydreams about the boy next door is hilarious and silly.

BlueDiva: Curiosity got the better of me and i went through the posts of durothrash.
You are just a kid, spend your time wisely and build a decent life. I'm way out of your league.

Now let me school your dumb asss.



If a person claims his/her partner has changed and become a beast, first question to ask is why?
If he/she was a beast in the first instance then there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place.

If a good man/woman becomes bad, please do a serious soul search.
What went wrong? Could it be something I'm doing/not doing?

A nagging wife should expect resentment from her husband and ultimately, negative attitude.
A drunkard of a husband and a wife beater doesn't expect to still have a loving woman as a wife.

Now, if the man/woman is perfect and the spouse just changes for no reason (very unlikely) then it is unfortunate.
Blame your bad luck for marrying a devil and don't come whining on cyberspace.

A partner in an unhappy marriage has a choice of leaving or to stick in there.
Either way it is your cross. Coming online to claim Mr or Mrs Perfect married to a devil is disgusting.

You were not blind neither did you marry at gun point.

Go for counseling, therapy or whatever can help your solve your problems.
Coming to nairaland to seek advice from unmarried single mums like durothrash who still daydreams about the boy next door is hilarious and silly.

God bless you for this observation. It's so annoying for people to come online to paint their partners as devils while never acknowledging their own faults and the roles the played in the whole saga. I can't still fathom out how some people's 'angels' turned out to be beasts without no cause. It only takes a discerning mind to ask questions.

--

He spits on you? Like seriously?
Nobody spits on anybody in my book. What on earth will warrant a person to treat another that disgustingly and to think that he takes stuff from your purse (lives off you unrepentantly and forcefully)? Are you going to let yourself continue getting defiled with spitting or are you going to rise up and say "No' and "Never again" to that attitude and maltreatment? It's either you stand up and put a stop to the things going wrong there (by speaking to wise elderly ones that can mediate and help set things right, standing your ground that you are never tolerating another smack or beating and telling him that it isn't funny anymore that he can't get his finances together) or you stay alive by running for your life if he is not interested in putting a stop to all those fr*aked up stuffs he is doing to you.

If you keep your body there for him, you will no doubt keep getting spit on, beaten, abused (all round), so what are you going to do----wake up or stay down. We sure want you to stay alive.

chioma.t:
my sister pls bear it 4 d sake of ur children, urs is even better my husband dont sleep wiyh me bcus he has many out side.

Yours is an excellent marriage What part of it do you want your kids to learn from?

BlueDiva: Curiosity got the better of me and i went through the posts of durothrash.
You are just a kid, spend your time wisely and build a decent life. I'm way out of your league.

Now let me school your dumb asss.



If a person claims his/her partner has changed and become a beast, first question to ask is why?
If he/she was a beast in the first instance then there wouldn't be a marriage in the first place.

If a good man/woman becomes bad, please do a serious soul search.
What went wrong? Could it be something I'm doing/not doing?

A nagging wife should expect resentment from her husband and ultimately, negative attitude.
A drunkard of a husband and a wife beater doesn't expect to still have a loving woman as a wife.

Now, if the man/woman is perfect and the spouse just changes for no reason (very unlikely) then it is unfortunate.
Blame your bad luck for marrying a devil and don't come whining on cyberspace.

A partner in an unhappy marriage has a choice of leaving or to stick in there.
Either way it is your cross. Coming online to claim Mr or Mrs Perfect married to a devil is disgusting.

You were not blind neither did you marry at gun point.

Go for counseling, therapy or whatever can help your solve your problems.
Coming to nairaland to seek advice from unmarried single mums like durothrash who still daydreams about the boy next door is hilarious and silly.

Bluediva oya copy and paste this same post in the other thread here and I promise you a private session in my house

https://www.nairaland.com/1084309/debrief-cotton101-those-came-out

Bunmi, my name sake, if you insist on staying, good luck to you. Hope it all works out well. I for one have never heard of a happy ending to this kind of story. Who knows, maybe he will find Jesus!

Those kids of yours, however, if they are aware of what is going on will probably thrive better in a boarding school, the environment they are in now is quite poisonous for them. The cycle (heaven forbids) may continue with them.

Pele.

dayokanu:

Bluediva oya copy and paste this same post in the other thread here and I promise you a private session in my house

https://www.nairaland.com/1084309/debrief-cotton101-those-came-out

DK you nor need private lessons with old woman like me o.
Enough willing young girls dey here.

That thread is a war zone o.
I nor wan die before my time. Copy and paste am yourself.

I now understand why the bible admonishes us not to rebuke an elder. Some people are so set in their dumb ways,they would never change.
@BlueDiva read comments by other women on this thread cant u see that without ur stupid self-aggrandizing bullcrap, they manage to pass the same message across?!Ure so proud of ur lack of compassion&sympathy, yet u wonder why people are disgusted by ur post.
A lady is known by her words,her kindness&her humility,u wuld rather b Madam ferocious online bully.LMAO

--

Your husband learned from his parents, your children are learning from you and your abuser/husband.

I actually just read all the nonsense this old lady wrote. Madam, i wont waste my words on u. Ure doing a great job of displaying how despicable u really are.
D fact that i didnt even bother reading all that u wrote here but u had the time to read my older posts makes me feel even more sorry for you.
Sorry for bruising ur online ego maam, its obviously one of ur self esteem boosters.
Ure such a sad&sorry specimen.All these venom for what?someone who doesnt give a flying mess wat u tink!

kid
I'm through with you.
I will save you the shame and wipe the slate clean. Go and sin no more.

BlueDiva: kid
I'm through with you.
I will save you the shame and wipe the slate clean. Go and sin no more.

@Lady Bluediva
Good to see that you wiped off the other posts directed at Durobraham.
@Durobraham it's okay dear

I added you guys to my contacts to speak to you offline but Bluediva seems to have done the right thing, I didn't realize that that was going on when I posted until I was about to leave the thread later. It's okay o Miss Duro. Chill dearie as Blue has chilled too (I don't even know why I am always protective of you when people run you down because of your single mother state yet I am not supporting you saying unpleasant stuffs to Blue too).

I didn't like the daggers being thrown around especially the single mother mockery part of it. There are just things we women should not use against one another because if a pregnant school girl comes to the forum seeking help we will all be touched and want to advise her----what's the point washing down another single lady who is holding her shoulder after her ordeal. The same us that will have good advise for our fellow women "don't abort", "be careful while making your choice of spouses", "don't let yourself be abused",the same us shouldn't mock our fellow women with some of us these problems unless we are not really giving these advices and solutions here with our hearts. Women let us be one another's keepers please. One love!

Ivynwa:

@Lady Bluediva
Good to see that you wiped off the other posts directed at Durobraham.
@Durobraham it's okay dear

I added you guys to my contacts to speak to you offline but Bluediva seems to have done the right thing, I didn't realize that that was going on when I posted until I was about to leave the thread later. It's okay o duro. Chill dearie as Blue has chlled too. I didn't like the daggers being thrown around especially the single mother mockery part of it. There are just things we women should not use against each other because if a pregnant school girl comes to the forum seeking help we will all be touched and want to advise her----what's the point washing down another single lady who is holding her shoulder after her ordeal. The same us that will have good advise for our fellow women "don't abort", "be careful while making your choice of spouses", "don't let yourself be abused",the same us shouldn't mock our fellow women with some of us these problems unless we are not really giving these advices and solutions here with our hearts. Women let us be one another's keeper please. One love!

Well, it wasn't worth it.
In the real world we are miles apart in every area.

Anyway, imagine throwing darts at me for no reason just to prove to be a warrior or for God knows what reason.
People should learn to respect themselves. Me a dumb troll? Really?

When people have very dirty linen then common sense dictates that they would maintain a low profile.
It's all good now. the kid needs love and not insults nor mockery.

[quote author=Ivynwa]

@Lady Bluediva
Good to see that you wiped off the other posts directed at Durobraham.
@Durobraham it's okay dear

Thanks for ur attempt @mediation. Its greatly appreciated.

Hmm, whats else can i say?

chaircover:

Under the circumstances and what you must have read in on this forum, newspapers, news, real life experiences, studies on domestic violence etc What do you think is the best decision?

It is a decision that you and you alone have to make. people can advise you on what to do or not to do but if you are not ready to face the situation squarely, then people are just wasting their time. I am sure that deep deep inside you, you already know the right thing to do.

Kai, I like the sophisticated way you passed your point. It's like you're getting better- nice!

Siena: ^^^ Duro, chill. It's all over, let's put the past to rest. And the same goes to you, Blue. You two ladys need to shake hands, and start from scratch

Blue: "Hi! My name's Blue, what's yours?"
Duro: "H'ya! My name's Duro, glad to meet you."

Peace ladies!

Ivynwa smiles at Siena's post

BlueDiva:

Well, it wasn't worth it.
In the real world we are miles apart in every area.

Anyway, imagine throwing darts at me for no reason just to prove to be a warrior or for God knows what reason.
People should learn to respect themselves. Me a dumb troll? Really?

When people have very dirty linen then common sense dictates that they would maintain a low profile.
It's all good now. the kid needs love and not insults nor mockery.

Yeah Babes they need that, it's sweet of you to have realized that which was why you deleted that. Nice!

durobraham: Hmm, whats else can i say? Clearly not everyone knows that arrogance is a vice.
I criticized something u said&it knocked u off so badly u had to resort to below the belt punches to make a point?

Ur deleted posts actually make no difference, i made a comment on ur first post&u reinforced my opinion.
Now when d poster of this thread reads ur 'advice' she knows bter that to take it seriously, ure d sour grape in d story, U dont matter
.
purpose accomplished. M done with this boring matter.

Miss Duro E joo. E-e-e-em How is your son by the way? Anything to steer you off this

Siena: ^^^ Duro, chill. It's all over, let's put the past to rest. And the same goes to you, Blue. You two ladys need to shake hands, and start from scratch

Blue: "Hi! My name's Blue, what's yours?"
Duro: "H'ya! My name's Duro, glad to meet you."

Peace ladies!

What can i say? I'm now in the midst of adults.
Well, they say never bring a knife to a gun fight.

Ivynwa:

Yeah Babes they need that, it's sweet of you to have realized that which was why you deleted that. Nice!

Yep, i spank with one hand and embrace with another.
It's all part of teaching kids some morals.

Divorce is an English word.

Duke_Nija: Gosh!!!
I can't believe the kind of Comments I'm reading here.
And these are supposed to be from Adults, some of them Married??
God help Us.

Madam you need help and solutions fast.
Violence whether Physical or Verbal is totally unacceptable in a Marriage.
You deserve a Loving and Kind man who respects you as a Woman, Wife and Mother of his Children.

Your husband is Frustrated, and is venting his aggression on You.
Inasmuchas, I doubt you are blameless, I think you need to re-examine your marriage.

He apologises, He's hot tempered.
A Man that apologises isn't a Devil.
He sees his wrongs, but unfortunately can't do much about it because of his temper issues.

You need to mould your husband, and not heap blames on him or make him feel inadequate for not having a Job.
Support him, Direct him, Avoid conflicts, 'Teach him in Love'.
Pray for him.
Yes. The Solution to Marital distress is never Divorce.

You said he lacks direction, what are you doing to help, direct and guide him in his Career and Life decisions.
That's why you are his Wife. A Helper, Partner and all.

In all, put God in your Marriage. Pray for him, bring him closer to God(If you know him yourself).

Remember, Even the hearts of Kings are in the hands of God, He turns it whatever way He decides.
Your Husband is an Ordinary Man.
Godbless.

How does a woman who has been beaten black and blue "teach in love"?

chioma.t:
my sister pls bear it 4 d sake of ur children, urs is even better my husband dont sleep wiyh me bcus he has many out side.

Wow!!!!
Some women are just so comfortable with nonsense..
Hian!

durobraham: I now understand why the bible admonishes us not to rebuke an elder. Some people are so set in their dumb ways,they would never change.
@BlueDiva read comments by other women on this thread cant u see that without ur stupid self-aggrandizing bullcrap, they manage to pass the same message across?!Ure so proud of ur lack of compassion&sympathy, yet u wonder why people are disgusted by ur post.


A lady is known by her words,her kindness&her humility, u wuld rather b Madam ferocious online bully.LMAO

I like the bolded.