Whether or not your marriage will succeed depends entirely on your and your spouses attitude.
First off, you need to have a deep love and understanding of each other. Without this it will be difficult to overcome society's bias.
The most important part though is your own attitude towards religion. If you're the proselitising kind and your wife is as well, there is probably little hope for your marriage to succeed.
If on the other hand you respect each other and leave each other in dignity, it can definately work out. The problem lies in a fundamentalist interpretation of one's religion. Do not forget that the basic moral codes of all religions and philosophical traditions are very similar.

The answer is simple... " DO NOT be unequally yoked with an unbeliever"....... Some even believe in a lie that their spouse would convert to their religion after marriage... pure lie

oscaruk:

The answer is simple... " DO NOT be unequally yoked with an unbeliever"....... Some even believe in a lie that their spouse would convert to their religion after marriage... pure lie

Could you try to explain that ? Apparently my English is not that good.

Hmmnnnnnn....... The issue or religion na serious issue oooo, because yours trully is facing the same dilema!, now am at a cross road of whom to marry cos i am a product of two religions!!!!.but the interesting part is that we have lived in peace for over thirty years!

So no problem,since you have been living in peace.

@kazey. yes, muslim men are allowed to marry christian ladies but are muslim ladies allowed to marry christian men in Islam? NO! why? because there is a problem.  i almost from a different religion,am glad i didnt.
@dayo777. am happy for you,you guys must really be understanding

Love is the sugar in marriage.

huh

Islam allows a man to marry a christian/jew woman but not vice versa. Man is given the responsibility of leading a house and is responsible of his wife/kids well-being. If he fails to sufficiently provide for them, then he becomes accountable during the day of accoutability....judgement day. But as mentioned in several replies, most of such marriages sooner or later suffer greatly hence it's recommended for all muslims to try and marry someone who shares his/her faith.

If I may ask,

Why isn't a muslim woman allowed to marry from other religions? ?? .. Could you please enlighten us??

kismat:

Islam allows a man to marry a christian/jew woman but not vice versa. Man is given the responsibility of leading a house and is responsible of his wife/kids well-being. If he fails to sufficiently provide for them, then he becomes accountable during the day of accoutability.judgement day. But as mentioned in several replies, most of such marriages sooner or later suffer greatly hence it's recommended for all muslims to try and marry someone who shares his/her faith.

IAH (f)
Posts: 1209
Offline

Re: Marrying Outside One's Religion
« #8 on: August 08, 2005, 06:06 PM »
Please don't tear me into pieces for sayng this but I'm very firm on such issues! I will never marry someone that has a different religion! Even in my religion which is Christianity, there are some denominations I cannot marry. e.g. White garment churches, Deeper Life, J-Witness,etc. Apologies to all the people that belong to those denominations here. I know there is no denomination in heaven but I can't marry someone I don't agree with in spirit, soul and body. Apologies once again ooooo!!! I am very sorry. I do have friends who are Muslims but that is where it ends.

I also agree with IAH on this one,word for word!!!

in my own case, i also cant marry someone that has a different religion from my own. i am pentecoastal, and i cant marry catholics. one thing i have learned is that one cant change another peson especially when it comes to their religion. before that was my mentality( i use to say, well i would marry a catholic and end up converting them to my own religion). oh no, i dont think it works that way.

To choose love before religion in a marriage decision is a challenge that will remain as long as man-made divisions exist.
But it helps to know about pastlives to make it easier for you when it comes to your turn.
Reincarnation brings us face to face with our worst fears and greatest challenges as we come from a past culture, religion, sex, physique, etc into completely different sets of conditions. The problem is that we do not get a chance to see where we are coming from until we earn the maturity to handle it, to face up to it. But you can tell from your likes and dislikes, how strongly you feel and why on earth should that be?
Consider that of all the people you have a chance to encounter in your life, and the billions you might never know about, life narrows your choice for you to face up to one. Will u choose love before anything else? God is Love!

Hey,

I just kinda stumbled upon your forum, so sorry for the intrusion. I'm actually interested in this concept of marrying outside one's relgion because I myself am in that situation. No, I'm not married, but I have fallen in love with someone I hope to marry in the future. I am Apostolic, another Christian denomination that isn't widely known. My dad is a pastor, and my entire family is fullheartedly active in our faith. However, coming to college, my view on God, and the manner in which we worship and express our beliefs to others is becoming more transformed. I met my boyfriend in highschool, and we started dating about a year and a half ago. At the time, he wasn't sure in what he believed. He told me he was somewhat atheist and agnostic. He came to my family's church, and I told him about Christ. However, I don't feel as "Christian" as I use to be now. Now, my boyfriend is Buddhist and very adamant about it. When we look at Buddhism and Christianity there are suprisingly numerous parallels. Now, my family knows about his buddhist faith, and somewhat pressuring me. There have been my instances with my family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) where they married outside of their religion and the union completely failed. Yet, I get angry knowing that my family expects the reason to be because of separate beliefs. And now, they're afraid for me, and I'm simply trying to hide my relationship as simply not serious when Andres and I have truly fallen in love. I don't want to convert him, but I know my family is gonna try, or better yet, they'll try to talk me out of my dating him. They have no clue how unhappy they've made me for their judgment on Andres, and their imposition to my choices. I believe in God, yet, I don't believe it's right for anyone to believe they're righteous. Sometimes spitting out versus is the worse venom of it all. Andres knows this struggle I'm going through, and he understands that it's simply tearing me apart. Mainly because I want the support of my family, not their disapproval. Frankly, I wonder why is it so ironic, that we as Christians stress obeying God, when we have forgotten to listen to our hearts. That's what Christ did, right? I feel my relationship with God is faltering, not because of Andres, but because of the pressures I feel from my family. I don't know how to approach this anymore. What I do know that it won't be easy, and I am simply left torn between my family and what my faith really means. Thanks for readin'.

It6's rubbish if u're serious abt ur own faith

No matter what, I wont marry a girl who is not a practising Christian. That's just my take on it, unless she is willing to convert to my religion. That's it. Even in the Christian denomination, there are some groups that I personally would not even consider dating any girl that is a member, unless she is willing to leave them. I am referring to white garment Churches, Jehovah's Witness, and others whose doctrine do not follow the laid down rules of the Holy Bible.

Hey, I am just a human being, not a saint. That's just my preference.

Ndipe:

No matter what, I wont marry a girl who is not a practising Christian. That's just my take on it, unless she is willing to convert to my religion. That's it. Even in the Christian denomination, there are some groups that I personally would not even consider dating any girl that is a member, unless she is willing to leave them. I am referring to white garment Churches, Jehovah's Witness, and others whose doctrine do not follow the laid down rules of the Holy Bible.

Hey, I am just a human being, not a saint. That's just my preference.

shoooo!!!!!!!!

who are you to judge people whether they live according to the laid down rules of your so-called holy book, and perhaps every bit of the actions is being backed by scriptures of your so called holy Book e.g of them are Jehovah Witnesses, Yellow/Green garment and others you didnt mention, i'm going for someone who will love me for who i am no matter what.

Religion is profoundly rooted and should not be treated as something trivial. marrying outside one's religion is quite perilous i must say. Love as we know it is not what we will always want it to be, people always change because change is the only constant thing in life. the way you treat your spouse a year into marriage will definately be different from the way you would treat him/her ten years later, and thats where the problem lies.

What will happen to your offsprings? how will the society you are living in treat you? i have seen a lot of inter-religious marriages and over time most of them collapsed because of the religious differences or because one party got tired of being too patient with the other and decided to let go, marrying someone who shares the same faith as you does'nt guaranty happiness but it is far better and safer than marrying outside you religion.

Life is all about personal interest to most people and it will be unwise to make yourself look vunerable to your spouse in any way so that he/she doesnt take advantage of you. marrying outside ones religion is not a wise option, if it should be done then those that should indulge in it should be those that have extreamly opened minds. that's my stance on this issue

The mistake most people make is to associate religion with living in accordance with the laws of God. They are different things. One should marry a person who he or she loves, and the two parties should be psychically and spiritually compatible. Ofcourse if you find such a person within your religious group, that is fine. However one should not close his eyes or ears to the possiblity that his or her spouse may be in another religious group. To live according to the WILL of GOD is what is paramount and not what religion one belongs to. Any spirituaully minded person will not interfer with the religious convictions of his or her partner. Qualities like love, humilty, faithfullness, hardwork, trust in the omniscience of God, compassion, courage etc is not the exclusive preserve of any religious group. Among all sincere religious groups, their is a a small subset that strives to obey the WILL of God. Mariages among people of the same religious persuations have worked in some cases and failed in others. The same goes for marriages between people of different religious beliefs. It is not the religion which people profess that counts in these matters but their strengths and weaknesses. The more we learn about one another, they more we realize that what people profess as their beliefs are in many cases diametrically opposed to their inner nature and motivation. Excellent husbands and wifes can be found among christians, moslems, Budhists, etc and so are bad husbands and wifes. The only advice to intending couples is this: Never try to convert your potential spouse to your belief by force or fiat and encourage him or her to follow his or her own religious convictions.

m_nwankwo:

The mistake most people make is to associate religion with living in accordance with the laws of God. They are different things. One should marry a person who he or she loves, and the two parties should be psychically and spiritually compatible. Ofcourse if you find such a person within your religious group, that is fine. However one should not close his eyes or ears to the possiblity that his or her spouse may be in another religious group. To live according to the WILL of GOD is what is paramount and not what religion one belongs to. Any spirituaully minded person will not interfer with the religious convictions of his or her partner. Qualities like love, humilty, faithfullness, hardwork, trust in the omniscience of God, compassion, courage etc is not the exclusive preserve of any religious group. Among all sincere religious groups, their is a a small subset that strives to obey the WILL of God. Mariages among people of the same religious persuations have worked in some cases and failed in others. The same goes for marriages between people of different religious beliefs. It is not the religion which people profess that counts in these matters but their strengths and weaknesses. The more we learn about one another, they more we realize that what people profess as their beliefs are in many cases diametrically opposed to their inner nature and motivation. Excellent husbands and wifes can be found among christians, moslems, Budhists, etc and so are bad husbands and wifes. The only advice to intending couples is this: Never try to convert your potential spouse to your belief by force or fiat and encourage him or her to follow his or her own religious convictions.

thats simply the continuation and completion to my earlier post.


Mr Nwankwo,
are u now in norway?

@enitan2000,

Yes I am in Norway.

I am not judging anybody, @enitan, I am just entitled to my opinion. God is the rightful judge, so, who am I a sinner to cast stones at another person. My views are that I wont marry outside my religion, because I believe in the Messiaship of Jesus Christ. If I have kids, then it is my prerogative to show them the only Way that Leads to God and that Way is Jesus Christ.

Ndipe:

I am not judging anybody, @enitan, I am just entitled to my opinion. God is the rightful judge, so, who am I a sinner to cast stones at another person. My views are that I wont marry outside my religion, because I believe in the Messiaship of Jesus Christ. If I have kids, then it is my prerogative to show them the only Way that Leads to God and that Way is Jesus Christ.

and when the grows he will definitely chooses his own part to follow, take it or leave it

m_nwankwo:

@enitan2000,

Yes I am in Norway.

you there permanently or still coming back?

@enitan 2002,

I have been in Norway for years. I will stay for a few more years and relocate permanently to our country Nigeria. Have a nice day.

i can't marry other religion cuz the bible says we should nt be equally yoked wit unbelievers,and a woman or man without the holyspirit is like a bulldozer heading for destruction

From my own view as a christian, and from what I have seen among my friends & family.
Marrying outside your religion could be ghastly!
Its like a miry clay, when you think you are out you go straight in again

Some of you guys are arguing from a very shallow point of view. The bible is very explicit on what to do if you gave your life to christ before you marry. It also explains what to do if you became born again after marriage. So where are all the confusions from?

Hi the bible has said it don't be equally yoke with an unbeliver, I once dated a muslim though it was really nice while it lasted but we could not agree what our children would be. Faith is really a big issue in marriage it might not affect the couple but problem starts when u begin to have children. Its best avoiding that problem by marring someone with same faith.

WHAO! i really enjoyed all ve read. but to start with marriage is a very sensitive and spiritual thing. why am saying these is because i ve seen things around me and read aabout things.there is a conclustion i ve reached in marriage that am very sure of and ll be difficult to change my mind on it. the conclusion is :THERE IS NO FORMULAR FOR MARRIAGEeverything is all about luck,prayers,and maybe destiny.my friends, in marriage because one does is it this way doesnt mean it we work for you.and because is working for you doesnt mean it ll work for your friend.now relating it to the topic,because you parents re differents religion and you had a great life doesnt mean others in your shoes are enjoying life.
coming to religion is something of your mind.some people cant stand the other religion while some doesnt mind.MY ADVISE TO THE WHOLE HOUSE,WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE PLS USE YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL EQUATION,IF YOU CAN STAND SOMETHING E.G DIFFERENT RELIGION THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT ADVISE A FRIEND TO DO THE SAME JUST TELL HIM TO STICK TO WHAT HE CAN STAND.AND VISE VERSA.
for me there is more to heaven than religion.espeacially the way we rejust praticing the whole thing isnot even right(the 2 religion)most of us re just carrying religion for head and we re not Godly.

According to the Holy Quran, A muslim guy is allowed to marry a christian lady,while a muslim lady is not allowed to marry a christian guy. Since the man is the head of the family, he is in the position to decide the religion his wife to be is going to be practicing.
I am facing the same problem,I'm a practising muslim lady in love with a christian.

@rianat: How good is your islam, if you are involved with a christain man? Its bad enough that you are involved, with any man. If there is sex, it is Zina. You must fear Allah.

For sure, Christians have no ruling about any moral compass/code. Am very concern and really think that you should rethink your position. If any man is interested in you, he should sincerely be a Muslim, who practices. If he is not, he should go and acquire the knowledge, first and then with true conviction, become a mustlim.

But for you to be unmarried and going about with a non muslim, is truly a double wammy. Two times the desaster. If he is never a muslim, then you will be the loser. You will be raising disbelieving children , plus the fact that you are sharing your life with a disbeliever.

This is against Allah's commandment in Islam. Are there no eligible Muslims in Nigeria? This is shameful. Connect to be by email and we can talk about this, more thoroughly. You will get my details from my profile. I pray that God Almighty guides your heart. Amiin.

I read the advice Olabowale posted on this subject, and I take serious objection to his labelling Christians as people without moral compass / code'. Because we donot behead sinners does not mean christians tolerate sin- no sir. We only believe that judgement belongs to the almighty Jehovah and our main duty as believers in His son Jesus Christ is to contnue the redemption work he died and rose - which is to reconcile sinners to God.
I donot blame Olawale, the Christian who went after a woman who does not believe in the Deity of Christ is the one crucifying Jesus Christ again, No christian male or female is permitted to marry outside outside his / her faith - Olabowale, Christians have moral compass but like all human settings we have deviants and if they dont repent and return to their master then ,