I visited a friend of mine and she was crying telling me that anytime she quarrels with hubby he will tell her how she gossips people with him instead of current affairs.Hubby will listen and she will just talk maybe about what a cousin,friend,sister or neighbour did only to use it against her anytime they pick quarrel.She sees it as betrayal since they can't joke, talk and laugh over somethings without his finding fault.

To me I feel she should not confide on him or even discuss anything concerning family or people with him.

That's immature. Why will he use it against her during arguement?but this is simple. She should learn to limit what she tells her husband about others

She doesn't know how gossip hurts others, so if friends and family members fall on hard times or get in trouble the best way to help is to spread their gist abi? Good for her, I have little patience with people who find delight in highlighting and sharing the pains of others.
A cousin use to do that with her husband told him all her family members secrets, belittled them totally, one day they had a problem that necessitated her moving out when the family called a meeting the husband insulted all of them based on what she had told him, telling them that they had no right to talk to him seeing how they are too.
What am I saying? Respect your family, all families have baggage, face your front and stop gossiping about others, simply tell your spouse what concerns you and don't go blabing to others about other peoples weaknesses.
Like her husband said she should find better topics to discuss, read more, be better informed so gossip doesn't constitute gist, we shouldn't keep things from our spouses but this only applies to our immediate business not other peoples business

To me I think she should not confide on him or even discuss anything concerning family or people with him. She should try and be formal with him though not easy cos is husband/wife not just friendship.

debrief08: She doesn't know how gossip hurts others, so if friends and family members fall on hard times or get in trouble the best way to help is to spread their gist abi? Good for her, I have little patience with people who find delight in highlighting and sharing the pains of others.
A cousin use to do that with her husband told him all her family members secrets, belittled them totally, one day they had a problem that necessitated her moving out when the family called a meeting the husband insulted all of them based on what she had told him, telling them that they had no right to talk to him seeing how they are too.
What am I saying? Respect your family, all families have baggage, face your front and stop gossiping about others, simply tell your spouse what concerns you and don't go blabing to others about other peoples weaknesses.
Like her husband said she should find better topics to discuss, read more, be better informed so gossip doesn't constitute gist, we shouldn't keep things from our spouses but this only applies to our immediate business not other peoples business

Debrief no u don't get it, she does not belittle or look down on people, the thing is that her hubby is looking for what to always use against her, like me when my younger brother was with me anytime he misbehaves or disrespects me I talk to my hubby and he will talk sense into him and call him to order,do u want to tell me that once in a while hubby /wife cannot crack jokes or discuss people there it ends. But in my friends case d hubby will say that day bla bla bla u told my brother,ur sister or ur brother, neighbour did this did that meanwhile when he discusses his wife will not hold on it since is b/w them.Is annoying and childish!

Believe me I get it and I find it in bad taste to make other peoples lives my form of entertainment and discussion. If I see people with issues I help if I can't help I pray for them but I won't go discussing them or making fun of them.
She should find better topics to discuss. There should be better things to do with her time than digging into other peoples lives. Their pain and problems are not jokes.

Pretty4ril:



Debrief no u don't get it, she does not belittle or look down on people, the thing is that her hubby is looking for what to always use against her, like me when my younger brother was with me anytime he misbehaves or disrespects me I talk to my hubby and he will talk sense into him and call him to order,do u want to tell me that once in a while hubby /wife cannot crack jokes or discuss people there it ends. But in my friends case d hubby will say that day bla bla bla u told my brother,ur sister or ur brother, neighbour did this did that meanwhile when he discusses his wife will not hold on it since is b/w them.Is annoying and childish!

Why are you supporting your friend and siding with her? Do you know the real issue that is going on between them two or you chose to be a selective hearer because your friend is involved here?

Is your younger brothers problem not enough work for you to focus on, mind your own damn business and stay out of someone else's marriage? Shows what kind of a friend she is, a real gossip she is, look at her gossiping about her fight with her husband to you?

Una need real work

Pretty4ril:



Debrief no u don't get it, she does not belittle or look down on people, the thing is that her hubby is looking for what to always use against her, like me when my younger brother was with me anytime he misbehaves or disrespects me I talk to my hubby and he will talk sense into him and call him to order,do u want to tell me that once in a while hubby /wife cannot crack jokes or discuss people there it ends. But in my friends case d hubby will say that day bla bla bla u told my brother,ur sister or ur brother, neighbour did this did that meanwhile when he discusses his wife will not hold on it since is b/w them.Is annoying and childish!

So instead of you to correct your friend, you are siding with her. It's different when your husband calls your brother to order but it's wrong for someone to share something she learnt in confidence. It's not just harmless gossip, it borders on wickedness.

^^^^ The friend is truly a gossip, look at how she has discussed her husband with the starter of this thread?

Ujujoan:

So instead of you to correct your friend, you are siding with her. It's different when your husband calls your brother to order but it's wrong for someone to share something she learnt in confidence. It's not just harmless gossip, it borders on wickedness.

[quote author=Ujujoan]

But what do you want her to do tho?
, maybe they are best friends and you support your besties no matter what?

bashing her will not solve any problem,

how about the man to get busy and stop salivating about other people's juicy info from his wife and using it against her when they have quarrel ,

some women are loose and can't help it especially when their hubby is with them nevertheless shooting the messenger here will not solve any thing.

I'm not condoning what she ( OP's friend) did cos I don't like poking my noses to other people's business talk less of sharing my family secrets that'll hunt me later besides they are married are they supposed to be careful what they say now? The nan needs to get a job/ second job.

^^ I really don't subscribe to "supporting your bestie no matter what" mentality . . .

Freidnship is all about adding value to each other. If I can't correct my friend when she's wrong, nobody can! She might not listen to other people, even her husband, but she will listen to her best friend!

I think OP should tell her friend to stop discussing personal issues with her husband, especially now that she knows the husband is petty!

If you can't be supportive of your friends no matter what and don't be judgemental then you're not besties. And I don't mean support the way you think like she believes everything she says to her no....being supportive is also to listen and not judge, and that's why OP is here cos this is beyond her.

If it were me, I will not tell my friend to stop talking to me ( what are friends for?) , I will just advice her to refrain from sharing too much with her hubby, that's all.

So are you telling me you don't trust your besties Uju ?

jidegirl12: If you can't be supportive of your friends no matter what and don't be judgemental then you're not besties. And I don't mean support the way you think like she believes everything she says to her no....being supportive is also to listen and not judge, and that's why OP is here cos this is beyond her.

If it were me, I will not tell my friend to stop talking to me ( what are friends for?) ,[b] I will just advice her to refrain from sharing too much with her hubby, [/b]that's all.

So are you telling me you don't trust your besties Uju ?

That's also what we are advising her to tell her friend . . . "don't share everyting with your husband, some things really are personal"!

I won't tell any 'bestie' who wants to share with me not to, but I won't be reciprocating! Not because I don't trust them, but because it doesn't concern them!

Okay, imagine how this poster is dissing her friend's husband. It's just belittling.

Some of my friends are older than my husband but they treat him with utmost respect. They dare not say anything disrespectful about my husband to me. Why should they, I dont discuss my issues with him with them!

I'm sure she will never do this to his face even to her friend's face.... anything goes for NL you know, thank God it's faceless

I certainly wouldn't support my friend no matter what, if she tells me she wants to cheat on her husband she certainly wouldn't be getting my support.
I see a pattern with this lady, she first gossiped about her relatuves to her husband who turned on her, now she gossiped to her friend about her husband, tomorrow when this friend offends her she better believe her own matter will be gossiped about.
Real friends help each other grow by telling each other the truth so they can learn and grow.

Pretty4ril: I visited a friend of mine and she was crying telling me that anytime she quarrels with hubby he will tell her how she gossips people with him instead of current affairs.Hubby will listen and she will just talk maybe about what a cousin,friend,sister or neighbour did only to use it against her anytime they pick quarrel.She sees it as betrayal since they can't joke, talk and laugh over somethings without his finding fault.

It's very simple, she needs to stop using him to fulfill her desperate need to gossip. Instead, she should work on building her intellect and wit and not keep filling her head with fluff. On his own part, what he's doing is pure BS. Why not stop her when she is giving him the gossip? He first enjoys learning other people's private matter only to turn on her later to use it to belittle her because she is vacuous. Why doesn't he start intellectual discussions with her instead?

jennykadry:

Why are you supporting your friend and siding with her? Do you know the real issue that is going on between them two or you chose to be a selective hearer because your friend is involved here?

Is your younger brothers problem not enough work for you to focus on, mind your own damn business and stay out of someone else's marriage? Shows what kind of a friend she is, a real gossip she is, look at her gossiping about her fight with her husband to you?

Una need real work

What kind of person are u, can u stop attacking and close ur stinking mouth, this forum is for those can contribution intelligently, and knows how to talk to people politely especially when in pain not those who unnecessarily hate their fellow women for no just reason.Shut-up!! slowpoke!

Pretty4ril:



What kind of person are u, can u stop attacking and close ur stinking mouth, this forum is for those can contribution intelligently, and knows how to talk to people politely especially when in pain not those who unnecessarily hate their fellow women for no just reason.Shut-up!! slowpoke!

My friend be quiet. Stoopid good for nothing woman. Did I hit a sore spot? Don't go and mind your own home. Stay diaaa and be gossiping about another persons husband. You and your friend are both very silly people who need serious slaps in the face to shut their mouth up.

Bloody housewives

Ilebatojo, You are so right. The husband should take the lead, my own husband will ask you how the issue you are gossiping about concerns you.
He will tell you abeg I no dey this one, find better gist. He wouldn't encourage it to start with, however the madam still needs to clear her self up from the gossip attitude, heal yourself don't expect anyone to do so for you

jennykadry:

My friend be quiet. Stoopid good for nothing woman. Did I hit a sore spot? Don't go and mind your own home. Stay diaaa and be gossiping about another persons husband. You and your friend are both very silly people who need serious slaps in the face to shut their mouth up.

Bloody housewives

I know ur type so I can't come to ur level. Animal!! That is a friend if u know what friendship means u will zip that ur good for nothing gutter 0toNdo!!empty vessel!!!

Pretty4ril:




I know ur type so I can't come to ur level. Animal!! That is a friend if u know what friendship means u will zip that ur good for nothing gutter 0toNdo!!empty vessel!!!

You actually came down to my level with your first reply to me or did you not know that? are you daft that your brain has suddenly departed from head and settled in your an@l area?

Stay there and be watching African magic, don't go home and sort your own messed up family out. If friends are like you, then I don't want one. You are the most retarrrdeddd specie in human history to ever be called a woman.

[quote author=jidegirl12][/quote]





Offcourse!!

jennykadry:

You actually came down to my level with your first reply to me or did you not know that? are you daft that your brain had suddenly departed from head and settled in your an@l area?

Stay there and be watching African magic, don't go home and sort your own messed up family out. If friends are like you, then I don't want one. You are the most retarrrdeddd specie in human history to ever be called a woman.

Sorry I'm too busy my security or one of my househelp will continue with u after that they will refer u to our dog(Ur namesake).

^^^ what a cheap shot I used back in primary school day.

You are the combination of dumb and stoopid with both first letters in capital letter. The person that found your kro kro infested self worthy enough to be called a wife needs to be checked.

Come on carry your tolotolo legs and go continue with your housewife work. Cook, clean and have s3x. What else are you good at? What else can you offer your husband, If not your cheap wrinkled body with bathroom slippers breasts.

Abeg

Pretty4ril: I visited a friend of mine and she was crying telling me that anytime she quarrels with hubby he will tell her how she gossips people with him instead of current affairs.Hubby will listen and she will just talk maybe about what a cousin,friend,sister or neighbour did only to use it against her anytime they pick quarrel.She sees it as betrayal since they can't joke, talk and laugh over somethings without his finding fault.

Soooo,what was your advise for your friend?

I think there's a fine line between gisting and gossips.You can gist with your hubby about fun things that happened at the spa,salon or even Nld(if he has time to listen),those are wife fables and about strangers but when you take a cousin/best friends story confided to you in secret and most possibly for advice to do bed time appetizer,then it's distatseful.

Her husband might be wondering if she shares their own intimate stories with the cousins et all and they
too with their husbands.

Are you safe from your friends restless tongues?how many of your stories and secrets have she told her hubby and laughed over

Pretty4ril:




I know ur type so I can't come to ur level. Animal!! That is a friend if u know what friendship means u will zip that ur good for nothing gutter 0toNdo!!empty vessel!!!

Is this what you came to do here or discuss in a classy way ? ( rolls eyes) I'm out!

why are people always into other folks business?

ever heard the phrase eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves?

stop these dirty habits and let folks have their privacy, jeez.

nobody here doesnt gossip about others, so just shut it already.

small time now una go dey blame witches in your village for your lack of progress.