[size=18pt]Yo Mamma so fat, [/size]

-when she steps on the Weight Scales it says, 'to be continued',

-she once went on a seafood diet, whenever she saw food she ate it!

-People exercise by jogging around her!

-when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

-she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

-NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

-she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm,

-when she went to the Zoo, Elephants began throwing peanuts at her.

-small objects orbit her.

-she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

-when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

-when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

-she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her, behind Mount Everest.

-when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of gas!

-she could be the eighth continent.

-she nearly put Safeway out of business

-the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

-when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

-her fave food is seconds.

-her belt size is Equator.

-she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

-when wears an 'X' jacket Copters attempt to land on her

-she shows up on radar.

-she needs a map to find her butt.

-she fell into the Grand Canyon, and got stuck!

-she wears an asteroid belt.

-her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued on-back'

-she has TB , 2 bellys.

-she's once, twice, three times a lady.

-the circus use her as a trampoline

-stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

-when she opens the Refridgerator door it says - 'I give up, '

-she got a new Job at the Movie Cinema, she works as the screen.

-she once told me, "I could eat a horse', believe me, she wasn't kidding!

-she deep fries her toothpaste.

-When she saw a yellow school bus with White people in it she yelled , "HEY, Stop that Twinkie!!!"

-When she walks down the street, her legs are bieng polite, they say to each other,"you go first, no YOU go first.

ha! dat can make sum1 cry

HABA U ARE MEAN O

that was really a yo momma ! i laughed so good when i was reading it !
Ncie one

Anyone here got any other YO MOMMA jokes they know, please submit.

Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Your mother's so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Your mother's so fat, when they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

the sumo wrestler one was funny

Why isn't there a Yo momma so THIN Joke?

Okay these r all funny. Like em.

Your mama so Fat, she fell in love and it broke.

Yo mama so black, a chalkboard looks white beside her.


I watch Yo mama on MTV, and i can't even remember a THING!, So much for watching yo mama.

@ hot angel.

hey girl, i didnt know someone else love that show. they are so funny. will is trying.

[size=18pt]  Yo Momma Jokes: Volume 2[/size]

  [size=14pt]Yo Momma So Old, [/size]

-Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
-Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
-Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
-Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch.
-Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
-Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 $dollars!
-Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate says 'expired' on it.
-Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
-Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
-Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
-Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
-Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
-Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
-Yo momma so old she's blind from the big bang
-Yo momma so old even God calls her, mother!
-Yo momma so old her ass is a cave for Indians.


[size=15pt]Yo Momma So Poor, [/size]

-Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
-Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
-Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
-Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
-Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
-Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
-Yo momma so poor you go out for Sunday pushes of the skateboard.
-Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
-Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
-Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
-Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
-Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
-Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

lmao, this is hilarious , please Stop me, i'm choking

yo momma so dirty when she went in the bathtub the water ran out

yo momma is so stupid she got hit by a parked car

yo momma is so fat i rolled over twice and i was still on her

yo momma's so ugly she gave freddie krueger nightmares

nice 1's here i need more of 'em to enrich my rap in d next "battle contest"

you should totally get more cuz some of them i herd on yo mama

diddy4dt:

@ hot angel.

hey girl, i didnt know someone else love that show. they are so funny. will is trying.

yeah i love that show. Wilmer is funny.

I like him whenever hes in the house of the contestants.

hot-angel:

yeah i love that show. Wilmer is funny.

I like him whenever hes in the house of the contestants.

am thinking of going for one of 'em battles but i need more jokes than what i have seen so far because those guys are nasty. the one shown last two weeks where a girl won the final contest was very funny. she totally tore the house down.
whenever his in their house, he does funny things. that dude should be a comedian.

diddy4dt:

am thinking of going for one of 'em battles but i need more jokes than what i have seen so far because those guys are nasty. the one shown last two weeks where a girl won the final contest was very funny. she totally tore the house down.
whenever his in their house, he does funny things. that dude should be a comedian.

U can be on it. Search the net for more jokes.

And uhmm Wil IS a Comedian. he's on That's 70's show. lol

@ hot-angel

thanks for the support hun . u will see me there battling one day. i just became a fan of thats 70's show .

i totally agree but i think that he wuz funnier as fez

Funny ones here!

WHO`S MUMSY IS THAT ANYWAY?, DONT MAKE HER HERE U, OR SHE DOES JUST WHAT U SAY OF HER, pretty funny jokes, keep keeping it real.

[size=18pt]YO MOMMA JOKES: Volume 3[/size]

[size=14pt]Yo mama is so stupid[/size]

-Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

-Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

-Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

-Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read

-Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

-Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

-Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

-Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

-Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

-Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

-Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

-Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

-Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

-Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

-Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

-Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

-Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

-Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

-Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

-Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

-Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

-Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

-Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

-Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

-Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

-Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

-Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

-Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

-Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

-Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

-Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald's!

-Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

-Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boy II Men was a day care center.

-Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable TV shows at home.

-Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

-Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

-Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

-Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

-Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

-Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

-Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

-Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

[size=14pt]Yo Momma so ugly, .[/size]

-Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color -
TV and asked what colors they had.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I can mess her in any position and its still doggy style.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister UnCloth just to calm down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, he'd you get out so fast."

-Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.

-Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go
bury it."

-Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.

-Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a rubbish wagon.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the mess?!?!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!

-Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.

-Yo mama's so ugly, well,  look at you!

-Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she I'm jobless a bathroom the toilet flushes.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.-

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like crap 'cause he'd rather kiss her but.

-Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.

yo momma's so fat when she passed infront of the TV i missed a whole season of friends.

dis is nt getting funny anymore.

tamia:

yo momma's so fat when she passed infront of the TV i missed a whole season of friends.

hey girl, u killed me with that one. that was so funny. i tot i was actually the only one that love friends.

@ diddy 4dt FRIENDS is tight i luv it! i luv Rachel (Jennifer Aniston)

@ tamia

Ross and Pheobe are also funny but Joey is my best. he crackes me up all the time. i also love everybody loves raymond. his grandpa is very funny. same goes to Robert.

i like the show yo mama on mtv, but what the hell does wilmer says before a battle, is it *lets boogie* or *lets bully*. If its lets boogie, then i thinks its totaly wack and he should look for a new punch line, but hey what da hell, he played Fez on that 70's show, so notin is new. But if it's lets bully, well em i think he should still do better though . ma two cents and i want it back if u disagree. To the first poster, nice yo mama jokes

@ diddy 4dt i luv it when Joey says "how you doing"

, hope nobody actually insults someones mama with these statements

haha, did y'all watch today's yo-mama?

I think a nigerian guy was on it, he has a nigerian movie in his room, staring "INI EDO" and "PAT ATTAH". I want my money 2. hahaha, funny.

hot-angel:

haha, did y'all watch today's yo-mama?

I think a nigerian guy was on it, he has a nigerian movie in his room, staring "INI EDO" and "PAT ATTAH". I want my money 2. Haha, funny.

omg seriously? i wished my f**** R. A could call the cable co. in time! i would have luvd to watch it.