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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Funny Divorce Letter (18145 Views)
Best Divorce Letter Ever / Divorce Letter ! / Funny Divorce Letter. Check It Out. (2) (3) (4)
Funny Divorce Letter by bastrin(f): 11:05pm On Feb 06, 2008 |
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me had you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! ***************************************** Dear Ex-Husband - > >Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me So take care. Signed, your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 9:03am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Hahahaahha, he got punked |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 9:18am On Feb 07, 2008 |
read it b4 bt still cool hello love |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 9:49am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Hey Baby, missed u so much my love |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 9:54am On Feb 07, 2008 |
aisha2: Am cool my love. Guess u r referring to me and not that loser. Ina kwana, ki tashi lafia? |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 10:05am On Feb 07, 2008 |
ayusman16:no wonder they call u anusman,shay u no go find a butt to kiss on and leave my sweet heart alone. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 10:11am On Feb 07, 2008 |
@Foolish, U want us to settle it outside |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 10:19am On Feb 07, 2008 |
naaaaah i don't need to waste my energy on a roach like u,i've got bigger fish to fry i'm sure my sweet heart will take care of u.oh yeah less i 4get i don't need to fight 4 wat i already hav so knock urself out.asswipe |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 10:28am On Feb 07, 2008 |
@Aisha2 Ur man has chickened out. he can't even fight for his woman. Dump the coward and come to a strong brother who gotta lots of love to shower on u. @Fisherman Foolish U wan start to dey look for fish now? |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 10:31am On Feb 07, 2008 |
awwwwww meeeen am confronted by a slowpoke |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 10:33am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Too dumb to even understand a slowpoke? Na wao for u ooo |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 10:43am On Feb 07, 2008 |
i shake head 4 u man,i can c u need help.i better call nightnurse to give u a doze of some good stuff. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 10:48am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Would appreciate that man. Thanks man! |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 10:53am On Feb 07, 2008 |
u welcome STUPID (no hard feelings) |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 11:01am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Folly so Foolish that he couldnt spell STUPID This guy never cease to amaze me. Akuya, rago, busunru! |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 11:23am On Feb 07, 2008 |
folly69:Nothing as sweet as a man with confidenc in his woman, thats hy i keep fallingin love over and over again. And you Ayusman, Back off. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by clemcykul(f): 11:28am On Feb 07, 2008 |
keep falling till u can fall no more |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by sincity(m): 11:30am On Feb 07, 2008 |
Folly! folly! folly! u need to get with ur english programme, the same happened in ur battle with ify. Polish ur GUNS before u go to battle. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Lolabbey: 11:35am On Feb 07, 2008 |
hmm mewa n sele, thngs are hapenin |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 11:39am On Feb 07, 2008 |
@Aisha2 U know i can do better than that "thing" u call ur man! walahi try am for me |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 12:06pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
JEEEEZ asswipe i guess de next thing to do is to start beggin, meeeeen i c u havin girl problems i feel bad 4 u anusman i gat 1001 problems and u definately ain't 1 so buzz off |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 12:12pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
Baby, dont dignify his desperates attempts to annoy u ith answers |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 12:18pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
u rite sweetie,so hw has ur day been? |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 12:46pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
Cool hon, filled ith tots of u |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 12:54pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
oh yeah tell me bout it |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Nobody: 12:59pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
I am in d middle of a borin meeting, I envisioed you walking in here with a bunch of flowers and giving me a kiss |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 1:02pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
and a whole lot more kisses 4 dat |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by ayusman16(m): 1:14pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
Chei! I can smell valentine in the air |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by tytylayor: 1:56pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
wonders shall never end on nairaland |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by folly69(m): 2:01pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
of course it wont end if it does then it won't b fun anymore |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by aphrodyte(f): 2:11pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
make una no spoil this place with your illicit love affair. Abeg go start your own thread or let it end in your bedroom. |
Re: Funny Divorce Letter by Lolabbey: 2:26pm On Feb 07, 2008 |
aphrodyte dis ur username baffle meooo!y u no complt am now? |
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