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All Akpos Jokes. Updated Everyday. / Jokes Section Offtopic Chat Thread / Jokes Section Library. .UPDATED!! (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:19pm On Nov 23, 2012
As i was going to d
office dis morning
i saw a mad man
following me.

at a time i became scared so i decided to talk
to a policeman
closeby.
I met d police man
and told him dat sombody
was following me
and i dont knw wheather he was a mad man or not.
D policeman ask me to show
him d man..
As i pointed to
d direction where d man was...
I discoverd dat d man hav passed our
standing
point going up on his way.
D police said to me, mr man are u alright?
I taught u said somebody
was following u.
I was embarrased..
I needed help but
d help nearly put me into police problem..
So i waited finally for
20 minutes then i
continue my jouney.
As i reached one
corner i saw d same man under a tree with
a stick..
I said to myself..
Which kind temptation
be dis... So i decided to stop a taxi. As i was
waving
for a taxi, d man stood
up and start coming
to my direction.
So my next option
was to enter a restaurant closeby. I ate some food their
though i was not
hungry. I ate and
at d same time
looking to see if he was still there. After 1hr of
eating.. I stood up.
i passed d tree i met
him initialy and
immediately he came
out from nowhere with d stick and
continued following me.
so i looked back and saw
him coming closer to me
in a manner I cant withstand.


so, i took to my heels..



Immediately he ran after me
with d stick raised
high.


As he was about to
hit me with d stick
.
.
.
.
,
.
,
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
"I WOKE UP"
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:22pm On Nov 23, 2012
Akpos got 2 school on monday morning and d Teacher Asked: ''why did u come
late 2school''?

Akpors: "one man lost #1,000 Note at d bus stop.

Teacher: oooooooh dat's Gud of u, were
u helping him 2 luk 4 d money?


Akpos: nooooo!!! I DEY CRAZE Na me stand on top of d money..........
Since.......... .!!!





The Teacher Lost HIS 2 months Pregnancy

9 Likes

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:30pm On Nov 23, 2012
Akpors who was a newly recruited Police Officer sat down in the visitors seat at the Police Station fanning himself. He removed hisgun, kept it aside, unbuttoned his shirt, threw his cap on the floor and kept on fanning himself. Unknown to him, the Honourable Commissioner of Police was to pay a visit to their station on that day. An hour later, the Commissioner arrived, as he came in, he saw Akpors and started wondering which irresponsible person was on duty. Akpors could not recognise him. The Commissioner shouted; Who is on duty?. Akpors got up and replied; Name, who are you and what do you want here, dis one wey you come here dey shout anyhow, you no dey fear face abi you want make i put you for inside CELL?.
.
.
.
.

well, the last time i asked after Akpors, i was told he is in Ghana...




I JUST WONDER WHICH OF THE GHANA HE DEY!
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by IlCapitano(m): 4:12pm On Nov 23, 2012
The good Lord knows that I've seen better jokes on blank sheets of paper.

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by berylLOL(f): 4:38pm On Nov 23, 2012
Il Capitano: The good Lord knows that I've seen better jokes on blank sheets of paper.
omadaaayyyzzz..lmaooo!!..
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by sats: 9:45pm On Nov 23, 2012
Il Capitano: The good Lord knows that I've seen better jokes on blank sheets of paper.

classic response ... five stars ... need i say more? ... u can do better

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by Wendyslim(f): 10:04pm On Nov 23, 2012
Nice one lol cool
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:19am On Nov 24, 2012
Il Capitano: The good Lord knows that I've seen better jokes on blank sheets of paper.
berylLOL:
omadaaayyyzzz..lmaooo!!..
sats:

classic response ... five stars ... need i say more? ... u can do better





ignores d dimwits
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:20am On Nov 24, 2012
Wendyslim: Nice one lol cool



cool cool cool cool
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:24am On Nov 24, 2012
POLiCEMAN: I'm sorry sir, your wife has
been involved in a car crash and we would like
you to accompany us so you can identify the body.
-
-
-
.
-
-
-
DRUNK HUSBAND: I'm a bit busy
right now.
Can't you take a photo and tag
me on facebook?
If it's her, I will click the "like"
button
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:28am On Nov 24, 2012
‎When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me.
But I did not respond..


I was deeply involved in Studies But she Called me again nd again



I shouted Plz Leave me to Study,


My exam is near plz
I want to Study ,




I want to Study


My Mom Slapped me and said




















Stop Dreaming





























"Wake up nd Study"............haha

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by razznaija(f): 7:51am On Nov 24, 2012
You try sha.
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 12:25pm On Nov 24, 2012
razznaija: You try sha.




cool cool cool cool
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 12:29pm On Nov 24, 2012
Eazy: do u smoke?

Akpors: no

Eazy: do u drink?

Akpors: no

Eazy: do u steal

Akpors: no

Eazy, wow i wish people like u dominates d community, d country would have been a better place

Eazy: so is there anytin u do that is socially unacceptable?



















Akpors: yes, i lie
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by Callfubu(m): 12:40pm On Nov 24, 2012
Il Capitano: The good Lord knows that I've seen better jokes on blank sheets of paper.
DAMN!!! Evuls
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by salam001(m): 3:18pm On Nov 24, 2012
bunmioguns: Akpos got 2 school on monday morning and d Teacher Asked: ''why did u come
late 2school''?

Akpors: "one man lost #1,000 Note at d bus stop.

Teacher: oooooooh dat's Gud of u, were
u helping him 2 luk 4 d money?


Akpos: nooooo!!! I DEY CRAZE Na me stand on top of d money..........
Since.......... .!!!





The Teacher Lost HIS 2 months Pregnancy

the bolded is the Funniest,lwkmd
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 5:59pm On Nov 24, 2012
salam001: the bolded is the Funniest,lwkmd
salam001: the bolded is the Funniest,lwkmd



cool cool cool
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 6:07pm On Nov 24, 2012
Londoner grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by NAIRA25(m): 10:29pm On Nov 24, 2012
salam001: the bolded is the Funniest,lwkmd
baddest boi,i no even ntce tha b4 sha,....LWtMB. O
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by PretiEbony(f): 11:22pm On Nov 24, 2012
This post has been hidden angry angry angry
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:01pm On Nov 25, 2012
PretiEbony: This post has been hidden angry angry angry




it is easy to detect when u r seeing ur menses sad sad
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:05pm On Nov 25, 2012
Akpos to Doctor, This Medicine
Is Not Available At Any Medical Store.”


DOCTOR: ooh Sorry,
I Forgot To Write The Medicine.








That Was My Signature.
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:13pm On Nov 25, 2012
CHIEF AKPOS Lost His Cheque Book




BANK MANAGER: Be Careful,
Anyone Can Put Ur Signature …




CHIEF AKPOS: when I’m Not A Fool,














I Have Already Signed
All d Cheques cheesy cheesy cheesy























The bank manager released a hot fart as a result of laughter grin grin grin grin
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by Lagusta(m): 2:32pm On Nov 25, 2012
bunmioguns: Londoner grin grin grin

Ha ha ha grin grin grin
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by larride(m): 3:57pm On Nov 25, 2012
Hahahhahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahhaha
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by Olodo1: 7:05pm On Nov 27, 2012
thumbs up.

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by dvdon(m): 8:48pm On Nov 27, 2012
grin angry undecided mtwcheeew
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:06pm On Dec 01, 2012
IS AKPOS WISER THAN THE DEVIL?

.
Three Men, A Philosopher, A
Mathematician And Akpos, Were
Out Riding In The Car When It
Crashed Into A Tree. Before
Anyone Knows
It, The Three Men Found
Themselves
Standing Before The Pearly Gates
Of Heaven, Where St. Peter And
The Devil Were Standing Nearby.
“Gentlemen,” The Devil Started,
“Due To The Fact That Heaven Is
Now Overcrowded, Therefore St.
Peter Has Agreed To Limit The
Number Of People Entering
Heaven. If AnyoneOf You Can Ask
Me A Question Which I
Don’t Know Or Cannot Answer,
Then You’re Worthy Enough To
GoTo Heaven; If Not, Then You’ll
Come With Me To Hell.”
The Philosopher Then Stepped Up,
“OK, Give Me The Most
comprehensive
Report On Socrates’ Teachings.”
With A Snap Of His Finger, A Stack
Of
Paper Appeared Next To The Devil.
The Philosopher Read It And
Concluded It Was Correct.
“Then, Go To Hell!”
With Another Snap Of His Finger,
The
Philosopher Disappeared.
The Mathematician Then Asked,
“Give
Me The Most Complicated Formula
You Can Ever Think Of!”
With A Snap Of His Finger, Another
Stack Of Paper Appeared Next To
The Devil. The Mathematician Read
It And
Reluctantly Agreed It Was Correct.
“Then, Go To Hell!” With Another
Snap Of His Finger, The
Mathematician Disappeared, Too.
Akpos Then Stepped Forward
And Said, “Bring Me A Chair!”
The Devil Brought Forward A
Chair.
“Drill 7 Holes On The Seat”, Said
The .
The Devil Did Just That.
Akpos Then Sat On The Chair And
Let Out A Very Loud Fart. Standing
Up, He
Asked, “Which Hole Did My Fart
Come
Out From?” The Devil Inspected
The Seat And
Said, “The Third H0le From The
Right.”
“Wrong,” Said Akpors, “It’s From
My Assh0le.”
....Akpos Went To Heaven.

1 Like

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 2:10pm On Dec 01, 2012
My Landlord's Son won a 10 million naira lottery, kept the money inside a bag, went under a tree, buried the money, snapped the spot and the tree with a camera and decided to travel to London.
As he was on a Plane heading to London, he brought out the camera to see the picture.....


starred at it and was shocked to see





Akpors on top of the tree smiling. grin grin grin grin grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by Ruqaya(f): 3:16pm On Dec 01, 2012
I wud av comment
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 10:09pm On Dec 01, 2012
Ruqaya: I wud av comment



kpẹlẹ
Re: Jokes Section Library Updated by bunmioguns(m): 10:11pm On Dec 01, 2012
Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"
Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!
Akpors: Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar, & keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!
After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Watertank.
Push ant in to it.. =!!
Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire, When itReaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!
Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU.
And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !! =|
MORAL: Don't f*ck with Students like Akpors..!!

They can Do any thing for 10Marks.





GUDNYT & SWTDRMS

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