How to Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse during this Christmas Season

‘Strangers are not the greatest danger to your children so parents protect your child from child sexual abuse’
As a parent, it's natural to worry about your kids. After all, you want to protect them from the evils of the world. Chief among those evils is sexual abuse. But, how can you talk to your kids about safety without scaring them to death? And what's the best way to protect them from sexual predators?
We have seen cases in which children have been sexually assaulted every day. From big, shocking, headline-making scandals like the one fueled by Cynthia Osukogu’s painful demise to the one-off incidents in which teachers, coaches, and other trusted adults take advantage of innocent children. We gasp and are outraged, but most of all we worry what if that was our child.
More importantly, however, we must ask what we can do to lessen the odds that our children will be victims. While there are no guarantees that we can we can keep them safe, there are some steps we can take to help do so
The festive season is a time of celebration and sharing of good times with family and friends. There might be more parties, more friends and more family in your home. You might be traveling and staying with people you do not see every day.
The down side of this wonderful time of year is that the risk for child sexual abuse increases. Children love the Christmas season. So do child predators. Many parents relax their vigilance during the festive season, routines change and children are allowed more freedom of movement. Add to this a greater exposure to (sometimes) little known family and friends and adults who tend to consume more alcohol and it makes for an ideal hunting ground for sexual predators looking for child victims.
Statistics say that up to 90 percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members or family friends. How do you protect your little ones during this time of greater risk, without spoiling anybody’s festive fun?
The first step is to be aware of the added danger. By being awake and watchful (you do not have to be paranoid) you can often prevent bad things from happening. Keep an eye on your kids during festivities. Know where they are and who they are with. Remember, just because somebody is dressed as Santa, doesn’t mean he/she is safe! Talk often with your child and set a tone of openness. Talking openly and directly will let your child know that it’s okay to talk to you when they have questions. If your child comes to you with concerns or questions, make time to listen and talk to them.
Trust your instincts when it comes to friends and family. If somebody makes you feel uncomfortable in his/her actions or words towards children, do not let him/her spend any time alone with the kids. The same goes for anybody with a reputation for inappropriate behavior towards kids. Abusers almost never stop abusing kids without help.
Remember older children can also sexually abuse little ones. Keep an eye on teenagers who want to spend all of their time with little kids. Most sexual abuse happens when there is one on one contact between the abuser and the child. By limiting the time your child spends with adults and older children to people you really trust, you can decrease the risk of abuse.
Teach your child key safety principles. For instance:
• Teach children the names of their body parts so that they have the language to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.
• If your child is uncomfortable or if someone is touching them, s/he should tell a trusted adult immediately.
• Let your children know that if someone is touching them or talking to them in ways that make them uncomfortable that it shouldn’t stay a secret.
Limit the amount of alcohol that is consumed when there are children around. Many cases of child sexual abuse happen when the adults responsible for looking after the children are drunk. Parties like that are not appropriate for children.
Speak to your kids about personal safety. This can be done in a way that is not frightening to kids at all. Teach them to trust and develop their instincts by not insisting that they kiss and hug adults that make them feel uncomfortable. Speak up for them if you see somebody acting inappropriate. I know this can sometimes cause offence, but people who value your child’s safety will understand. Enjoy the festive season, but remember that kids cannot keep themselves safe. That’s your job.
Your child should know that s/he has the right to speak up if they are uncomfortable, or if someone is touching them. It’s okay to say “no” even to adults they know and family members. Try and monitor your child's online friends but do it with respect.
Educate yourself about the warning signs of childhood sexual abuse. Know what to look for, and the best way to respond. Visit www.cornucopiaebooks..com for more details or www.cornucopiaebooks.com/images/CSA.pdf
Have a Safe Christmas Celebration
Chidinma Stella Onuoha (Mrs.)
08066656255, Case1609@yahoo.co.uk , cornucopiaebooks@gmail.com
Some other helpful online literature:
http://www.childsafety.org.au/documents/Protectingyourchildagainstsexualabusepmckay.pdf
http://www.coe.int/t/dg3/children/1in5/Source/PublicationSexualViolence/Hitrec.pdf
http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/kskeepthemsafe.pdf