Sometime ago, I published the first part of this note, where I basically dealt with the labels some ladies place on all guys just because of certain experiences they’ve had with a few guys in their lives. In this part I will be placing the spotlight on one particular quality that I personally believe most ladies are overlooking.

This world is still a man’s world. Always have, always will be. You may not like it. I particularly don’t like it. But, unfortunately, some things are outside our control. That’s just the way the world works. Accept it and move on. I always tell my students during every School for Personal Leadership session to focus on the things they can control and forget about things they cannot control. You may say it is debatable. But no matter how hard you try to fight it, when you go to bed tonight, you won’t need anybody to convince you that this world is still a man’s world.

Joseph, who is regarded as the earthly father of Jesus, had no part to play in the conception of Christ. But when the genealogy of Christ was traced, no mention was made about the lineage of Mary, the young lady who bore Jesus in her womb for nine months. Instead, it was the lineage of Joseph that was recorded. This world is still a man’s world. “Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” -1 Cor 11:9

As I write, I am in my early thirties, and I am single. Partly because of my own doing, partly not, but that is another story. However, when I go to bed tonight, the question, “When will I get married?” will not bother me. Why? Because I am a man. I know I will get married, and hopefully, soon. I wish I could say the same for a lady who is same age as I am. It may seem like a spite on ladies, but it is not. It is just a statement of fact.

So, whenever I hear decent ladies say they are the ripe mango fruit at the top of the tree and only someone who knows their worth can get to them, I feel like throwing up. Are you serious? Of all metaphors to choose from is that your best? A ripe mango fruit at the top of the tree? As far as I am concerned, that is the perfect description for pride. And that is why ripe mango fruits at the top of the tree get eaten by birds. Because they are too high up there.

Why should I want to climb a mango tree full of mangoes to get to the top mango fruit and risk losing my life by falling off a branch when lots of mangoes are on the lower branches close to earth? Is there a difference between the taste of the mango fruit that is “down to earth” and that of the mango fruit that is high up in the heavens?

And talking about being “down to earth,” every man knows the qualities that make him regard a woman as being “down to earth” are the qualities of humility and respect. And those are the qualities that are fast becoming scarce these days, which means more and more mangoes are now at the top of the tree. Is anybody thinking with me?

Ladies, listen, “Respect” is food for men. I will say that again. “Respect” is food for men. Even your four year old son wants you to respect him like a man. And respect is not what you give to a man after he marries you. It is how you treat him before he marries you. Did I remember to tell you that “Respect” is food for men?

Now, let me speak for myself. If there were only two ladies left on the face of the earth for me to choose from and one is a virgin, while the other is a prostitute. I will rather marry the prostitute who respects me than marry a virgin who disrespects me, all other qualities being the same. Now, I don’t pray for that scenario to play out but if it comes to that, that will be my decision.

So, to all you ladies, flaunting virginity updates on your wall, know that as much as men would love to marry a virgin, it is not at the very top of their list. Are you beginning to see why many of those “runs” babes that were your classmates back in school are married and many of the “decent” ones are not? Just because you are a decent girl does not mean you know how to make a man feel like the man. Many of those “runs” babes know this. I know some ladies may feel I am encouraging promiscuity. For the record, I am not. I am just stating the obvious.

Am I saying you should be the one paying his rent or go to his house to do the laundry? No! I personally don’t encourage ladies to go that far with guys they are not married to, but then it is your relationship, not mine. But from the simple everyday conversation you have, a guy will know whether you respect him or not. How do you speak to him? How do you make him feel when he is around you? How do you answer his calls?

I know you have read all the relationship articles where the writer says when the man creates a palace for the woman then the woman will treat him like a king. Well, that is true. However, you are focusing on something that is outside your control. If you are waiting for him to first build a palace for you before you treat him like a king, you may never become his queen. I say focus on what you can control. Treat him like a king now, and I promise you, he will do everything possible to create a palace for you. Every man wants to go back home to a woman who treats him like a king.

The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe,
Twitter: @mute_efe
www.facebook.com/mutehimself
+234-803-874-9796

N.B
To register for the January, 2013, session of School for Personal Leadership that holds on facebook, first add Mute Efe as your friend on facebook, then text SPL*Surname*First Name*Sex*State of Residence*Country of Residence*Email Address*GSM Number to +234-803-874-9796. Payment details will be sent to you almost immediately. NGN5,000 Only (US$35). No exams, no certificates. What you learn is what you take away. Registration ends December 31st.

Sometimes I wonder if it is the same people on Nairaland that are on Facebook.