I have come to the epiphany that Atheism is not for me.

I enjoyed my time as an Atheist but it is time to move on.

A thumbs to all atheists who kept my mind intellectually stimulated.

SooOoooOo.... now what religion can I be a part of.

Hmmmm......

Join me, I now believe in the pink unicorn.

inurmind: Join me, I now believe in the pink unicorn.

Maybe not.

I think I will go the former Greek gods route. Time to worship the almighty Zeus ruler of the heavens. wooohooo

Attention seekers.

hisblud: Attention seekers.

So.... am I making a mistake? What do you reckon?

I think you should worship the Flying Spagetti

ooman: I think you should worship the Flying Spagetti

Get thee away from me atheist heathen before i am tempted to sin

Atheist:-D:


Get thee away from me atheist heathen before i am tempted to sin

You want to go to hell? better give all praise to the one and only Fly Spagetti who made all things

ooman:

You want to go to hell? better give all praise to the one and only Fly Spagetti who made all things

So what is the historybof this flying spaghetti?

Atheist:-D:


So what is the historybof this flying spaghetti?

In the beginning the Flying Spagetti made the heavens and the earth. And the earth was void and formless, and the Spirit of the Flying Spagetti hovered the surface of the deep. Book of Flying Spagetti 1 v 1 - 2.

ooman:

In the beginning the Flying Spagetti made the heavens and the earth. And the earth was void and formless, and the Spirit of the Flying Spagetti hovered the surface of the deep. Book of Flying Spagetti 1 v 1 - 2.

Sounds familiar... hmmmmm......

Atheist:-D:


Sounds familiar... hmmmmm......

Yea, the Flying Spagetti is the same God you know and if the Flying Spagetti does not exist, then the "familiar" God does not exist

ooman:

Yea, the Flying Spagetti is the same God you know and if the Flying Spagetti does not exist, then the "familiar" God does not exist

This familiar deity must be Zeus then

Atheist:-D:


This familiar deity must be Zeus then

All Gods are the same

ooman:

All Gods are the same

in reality,not all gods are the same.they have different requirements and modus operandi.the most closely related would be yahweh,allah and zeus.they demand attention and want their creation to continually worship them.allah is different because he didnt have a child.both yahweh and zeus had children

Delafruita: in reality,not all gods are the same.they have different requirements and modus operandi.the most closely related would be yahweh,allah and zeus.they demand attention and want their creation to continually worship them.allah is different because he didnt have a child.both yahweh and zeus had children

Nice lecture. tell me something about the Flying Spagetti

ooman:

Nice lecture. tell me something about the Flying Spagetti

other gods have been around for centuries whereas the sphaghetti monster just recently acquired the certificate to practice as a god.shouldnt take too much time to catch up

Delafruita: other gods have been around for centuries whereas the sphaghetti monster just recently acquired the certificate to practice as a god.shouldnt take too much time to catch up

You really know much about the Flying Spagetti. Thank you for the update. That ll do.

The flying spaghetti is sacrilege.

Atheist:-D:
The flying spaghetti is sacrilege.

the pink unicorn will give all the beer u need. life would be sweet and happy.
choose him.

inurmind:

the pink unicorn will give u all u beer need. life would be sweet and happy.
choose him

Will it instruct me to launch genocidal raids on other religions?

Atheist:-D:


Will it instruct me to launch genocidal raids on other religions?

if you want it to

inurmind:


if you want it to

Hmmmm.....

That answer does not sit comfortably with me

Worship the Sun. Why?

1)At least you can see the Sun.
2)The Sun is omnipotent
3)You can feel its presence
4)When you plant your cassava its the Sun that helps it grow not prayers

manmustwac: Worship the Sun. Why?

1)At least you can see the Sun.
2)The Sun is omnipotent
3)You can feel its presence
4)When you plant your cassava its the Sun that helps it grow not prayers

The Flying Spaghetti will be angry with me.

manmustwac: Worship the Sun. Why?

1)At least you can see the Sun.
2)The Sun is omnipotent
3)You can feel its presence
4)When you plant your cassava its the Sun that helps it grow not prayers

I worship the Sun God. The SUn represents the SPiritual Force of Life. THe Sun is the SOurce of Life on EArth. THe SUn is worthy of worship.

on christmas after the winter solistice, i worship our provider, the SUn.

THe SUn provides warmth.

PAGAN 9JA:



I worship the Sun God. The SUn represents the SPiritual Force of Life. THe Sun is the SOurce of Life on EArth. THe SUn is worthy of worship.

on christmas after the winter solistice, i worship our provider, the SUn.

THe SUn provides warmth.

The Flying Spagetti patiently wait for the day you will repent

manmustwac: Worship the Sun. Why?

1)At least you can see the Sun.
2)The Sun is omnipotent
3)You can feel its presence
4)When you plant your cassava its the Sun that helps it grow not prayers

Sol Invictus? That is a good suggestion.

Have you considered Pikkiwokki? Members of our church can be fairly awesome.

This is a bit long, but it displays the sort of knowledge you gain by believing in him

http://www.27bslash6.com/easter.html






From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 10 March 2010 7.12pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
I have received your permission slip featuring what I can only assume is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus.
Thank you for pre-ticking the permission box as this has saved me not only from having to make a choice, but also from having to make my own forty five degree downward stroke followed by a twenty percent longer forty five degree upward stroke. Without your guidance, I may have drawn a picture of a cactus wearing a hat by mistake.
As I trust my offspring's ability to separate fact from fantasy, I am happy for him to participate in your indoctrination process on the proviso that all references to 'Jesus' are replaced with the term 'Purportedly Magic Jew.'
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 9.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Permission Slip

Hello David
The tick in the box already was a mistake I noticed after printing them all. I've seen the play and it's not indoctrinating anyone. It's a fun play performed by a great bunch of kids. You do not have to be religious to enjoy it. You are welcome to attend if you have any concerns.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 11.02am
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
Thank you for the kind offer, being unable to think of anything more exciting than attending your entertaining and fun filled afternoon, I tried harder and thought of about four hundred things.
I was actually in a Bible based play once and played the role of 'Annoyed about having to do this.' My scene involved offering a potplant, as nobody knew what Myrrh was, to a plastic baby Jesus then standing between 'I forgot my costume so am wearing the teachers poncho' and 'I don't feel very well'. Highlights of the play included a nervous donkey with diarrhoea causing 'I don't feel very well' to vomit onto the back of Mary's head, and the lighting system, designed to provide a halo effect around the manger, overheating and setting it alight. The teacher, later criticised for dousing an electrical fire with a bucket of water and endangering the lives of children, left the building in tears and the audience in silence. We only saw her again briefly when she came to the school to collect her poncho.
Also, your inference that I am without religion is incorrect and I am actually torn between two faiths; while your god's promise of eternal life is very persuasive, the Papua New Guinean mud god, Pikkiwoki, is promising a pig and as many coconuts as you can carry.
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 2.52pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Hello David
While it would be a pity for Seb to miss out on the important message of hope that the story of the resurrection gives, if you don't want him to attend the presentation on Monday then just tick the box that says I do not give my child permission to attend.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5.09pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation.
Someone probably should have asked "So the rock has been moved and he's gone... has anyone checked his house?" I realise Playstation was not around in those days but they probably had the equivalent. A muddy stick or something. I would have said "Can someone please check if Jesus is at home playing with his muddy stick, if not, then and only then should we all assume, logically, that he has risen from the dead and is the son of God."
If we accept though, that Jesus was the son of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he probably did have a Playstation. Probably a Playstation 7. I know I have to get my offspring all the latest gadgets. God would probably have said to him, "I was going to wait another two thousand years to give you this but seeing as you have been good... just don't tell your mother about Grand Theft Auto."
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed during a sword fight and be ok due to the fact that he can only die if he gets his head chopped off?
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 10.13am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight. Learning the teachings of the Bible is not just about religion. It teaches a set of ethics that are sadly not taught by parents nowadays.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 2.23pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
You raise a valid point and I appreciate you pointing out my failings as a parent. Practising a system of ethics based on the promise of a reward, in your case an afterlife, is certainly preferable to practising a system of ethics based on it simply being the right thing to do.
Many years ago, I lived next door to a Christian named Mr Stevens. You could tell he was a Christian because he had a fish sticker on his Datsun. He used to wave at us kids from his bathroom window on hot summer days as we played in the sprinkler. I learnt a lot from Mr Stevens. Mainly about wrestling holds. The trick is to oil up really well making it hard for the other person to hold you down. I would often lie on his living room rug looking up at the pictures of sunsets behind quotes from Psalms while waiting for him to unwrap his legs from around my torso.
Your job would be made much easier if, after making the school children sit through an hour of church youth group teens dancing, singing and re-enacting Jewish magic tricks, you simply told them that it was just a small taste of what hell is like and if they didn't believe in Jesus they would have to sit through it again.
When I was at school, we were forced to attend a similar presentation. Herded into the gym under the pretence of free chips, we were assaulted with an hour of hippies playing guitars and a dance routine featuring some kind of colourful coat and a lot of looking upwards. Due to the air-conditioning in the packed gym not working and it being a hot day, the hippie wearing the colourful coat blacked out mid performance and struck his head against the front edge of the stage spraying the first row of cross-legged children with blood. Unconscious, he also urinated. There was a bit of screaming and an ambulance involved and everyone agreed it was the best play they had ever seen.
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 2.47pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Hello David
I don't see what any of that has to do with this play. It's important for children to have balance in their life and spirituality is as important in a childs life as everything else. There's an old saying that life without religion is life without beauty.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 12 March 2010 3.36pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
I agree completely that balance is an important component of a child's education. I will assume then that you will also be organising a class excursion to a play depicting the fifteen billion year expansion of the universe from its initial particle soup moments following the big bang through to molecule coalescion, galaxy and planetary formation and eventually life?
Perhaps your church youth group could put together an interpretive dance routine representing the behaviour of Saturn's moon Hyperion, shattered by an ancient collision and falling randomly back together, tugged to and fro by the gravitational pull of Titan, sixteen sister moons, the multi-billionfold moonlets of Saturn’s rings, Saturn’s gravitational field, companion planets, the variability’s of Sol, stars, galaxy, neighbouring galaxies... or possibly not, according to an old saying, there is no beauty in this.
Also, while I understand that the play is to be held outside school grounds, due to the fact that it is illegal to present medieval metaphysic propaganda in public schools, it is also my understanding that you are now required by law, as of last year, to go by the title Christian Volunteer rather than School Chaplain. A memo you may have missed or filed in your overflowing 'facts that cease to exist when they are ignored' tray.
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip

I'm not going to waste any more precious time replying to your stupid emails. If you don't want your child to attend the play just indicate that on the permission slip.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 11.04am
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip


From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 2.11pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject

I will pray for you.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 15 March 2010 2.19pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: No Subject

Thanks. Mention that I want a Toyota Prado if you get the chance. A white one. With dark grey leather interior and sat nav.
Regards, David.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 9.20am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: No Subject

I've had enough of your nonsense. Dont email me again.
From: GOD
Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 10.18am
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Word of God

DARYL, THIS IS GOD. BUY DAVID A TOYOTA PRADO. A WHITE ONE. WITH DARK GREY LEATHER INTERIOR AND SAT NAV.
From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 2.35pm
To: GOD Cc: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Word of God

I'm serious.
From: GOD
Date: Tuesday 16 March 2010 2.48pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Word of God

OK.

ooman:

In the beginning the Flying Spagetti made the heavens and the earth. And the earth was void and formless, and the Spirit of the Flying Spagetti hovered the surface of the deep. Book of Flying Spagetti 1 v 1 - 2.

And he said,"let there be spagetti and meat balls to feed the multitudes of my hungry creations".
All hail the Holy FSM who nuorishes us with the bountiful dish of spagetti and meatballs.

" And FSM so loved the world that he sacrificed his only begotten half of himself(his son), the Meatball, as a proteinacous suppliment and compliment of the carbohydrate-rich main course.

And so we are blessed with the perfect trinity of Spagetti, the father,Meatball, the son, and Tomato sauce, the holy stew.

plaetton:
And so we are blessed with the perfect trinity of Spagetti, the father,Meatball, the son, and Tomato sauce, the holy stew.

AMEN.