Happy new year all.Holiday mode kind of still activated but also a good time to plan and strategise.Trust me always to create threads based on my life and since NL is faceless it affords me a' less ameborish'(still amebo though ) into the life of others without necessarily gossiping(i really dont like my relationship the topic of the day on girls days out).

To topic,thought of it this morn when me abd hubby were strategising on an issue i have.I am undergoing a process at work at the mo and its one that was not expected.My hubby thinks i am toooooo nice and tend to let people take advantage of me.I kinda agree but its not like am a push over i kinda try to avoid conflict and i agree that sometimes that sometimes comes across as naive but i tend to always make excuses for people.Hubby on the other hand will be nice but you know you cant take him for a ride.I used to think wahala man yi po sha but now i kinda think i needed someone like him to complement me.You dont want to know the research he has done,lawyers he has spoken to ,unions he has researched bla bla
I kinda took my employers words as gospel but his research has brought up my rights and what am entitled which i probably would not have asked for on my own.

I also complement his toooo blunt and principled nature and i can see my stamp on sometimes when he just lets go.When we first got married one day while out i said babes loan me 5 pounds.Two days after he was giving me money to get something and deducted the 5 pounds.Gosh i was soooooo upse tam like WTH what kind of mean person deducts 5 pounds his wife loans from him.We thrashed it out and i realised to him a loan is a loan and he loathes it when people loan money they never intend to pay back.He said if i said GIVE me 100 pounds it would not have been an issue.The next day he got me a gift like 200 times that amount.So to him it was the principle behind it.Then he could give 10pound tips but request for20p change if he felt you were being funny and trying to make him forget it.In Nigeria na war at customs .I used to be so embarassed but over the years i think my embarassment started to get at him.Am suprised at his reactions sometimes now.He just say lets go and he can see my reaction is am shocked cos was expecting him to ask for his change. .

Over the years we have really grown together as a couple and still doing so everyday.I have emulated so many of his nice attributes i.e time keeping,organisation,i procratinate less(i can procrastinate for africa),thrashing out issues etc and he has learnt from me calmness, patience(still working on that one sha),taking things less seriously and so many others.

So how do you think your partner behaviour has complemented or sort of rubbed off on you?

Lol, almost decribed my husband. At work I have no issues being professional and not nice when I need to bbe strict but with personal relationships I was a walk over.

I believed a woman was primarily to please a man, hubby on the other hand believes everyone must be a complete human being and have healthy arguements. Over the years I have learnt yo disagree properly without bbeing disrespectful.

Financially he is prudent, I am the spend as we go type, he plans for every kobo how much we spend on charity etc. Me I try now but some times I say let me just "look into a shop" and I come out hiding some shoes and dresses. He knows.

Also I was over diplomatic and he was not at all now I am learning that some people don't need diplomacy and he is learning to bite his tongue more.

debrief08: Lol, almost decribed my husband. At work I have no issues being professional and not nice when I need to bbe strict but with personal relationships I was a walk over.

I believed a woman was primarily to please a man, hubby on the other hand believes everyone must be a complete human being and have healthy arguements. Over the years I have learnt yo disagree properly without bbeing disrespectful.

Financially he is prudent, I am the spend as we go type, he plans for every kobo how much we spend on charity etc. Me I try now but some times I say let me just "look into a shop" and I[b][/b] come out hiding some shoes and dresses. He knows.

Also I was over diplomatic and he was not at all now I am learning that some people don't need diplomacy and he is learning to bite his tongue more.

That is so us too.I can spend for africa and am sucker for sob stories.Even my mum used to be so worried about me not having the financial.discipline to say no to people.My own spending was soooooo way out of proportion to my earnings and am learning from him to budget and stick to it.

I too am very dipolomatic and if 10 people asked me to help at the same time and it meant me not sleeping i would do it.I.found it very difficult to say no to people.He taught to sometimes think of myself and it was better to to say no to 7 and do 3 to perfection than say yes to 10 and make a mess of it, just cause you dont want to hurt people's feelings.

Ha my hubby bluntness .He once asked my pastor(to his face o i almost entered the ground) why RCCG opened parishes on every corner like Tesco.I told him why does he want to know and i explained to him it was something to do with not walking or driving more than 10 mins to church.He said so why 2 next to each other? I sha said whats your own?So the day my pastor came to preach to him to attend my church and not his anglican communion he asked the question amongst so many other toe curling ones .The man does not bother anymore.He is just happy he is ok with me worshipping where i want.

Don't get me started with the millions of questions he has for pentecoastal Pastors who try to "convert" Him. Biggest mistake, he is biblically sound and sorry to say most of them are not too sound. He asks them all sorts like "what is Gods account Number" and if they are Tax Collectors or Gods Agent on earth, when they quote half scriptures to sell their message he quotes the full passage and shuts them up.

One ccame to the house and said he wanted to pray and started well but started screaming, Hubby cleared his throat in the middle of the screaming and told the man to lower his voice that God is not deaf and he shouldn't alarm our son and neighbors who will be wondering if there is an emergency. He told him God doesn't need to be yelled at.
The pastor was in shock mouth open at the my husband who didn't realise what he had done, I almost entered the ground that day, I am sure the pastor would have concluded my husband was satan himself that day.

So many examples oh. Telling a friend to her face that her bleaching was getting too much and giving her green veins.

A kind of "opposite attracts"
to me, its very good in marriage, if i may say. Atleast, what i cant do, my hubby can do and what he cant do, i can do. Its complementary of each other.

We are barely opposites.70percent of our assertions are the same which might be due to the fact that we are both Geminian.My characteristics leans on moderation while he is an extreme version of me.The 30per of the traits is where the difference lies.For instance,he is always enthuasiatic about every prospect while I see things through my skeptical glasses.He can spend his last coin to make I and the kids happy while I believe in saving for rainy days.He is more tolerant with people while I have little tolerance for stupidity.He is always optimistic about everthing even when the odds are low.


Most often,we are actually like peas in a pod but disagreement once in awhile is not forbidden.I love to plan,he prefers to take things as it comes.Somehow,we still maintain a balance by combining the best of each other.

Hi Damiso



First of all I have come to realize that Marriage is a conditional thing, you have to continue to work on your behaviours, delivery if words,respect,...to make it work.

We watched this movie ; Mr &Mrs, my hubby said; baby but you do both , I told him ; ehem not everybody can babè .

and that I just came to realize since I've come on NL and read complaints about marital problems ....that what works for A, doesn't work for B, we have different strengths.

How have we complimented each other so far? cos it's continuous learning process;

Spending; I'm the spend as you go type and do accounts at the end of the month, he is waay too organized it makes me uncomfortable sometimes, Excel doc was his idea , we listed all our expenses vs our earnings just like the bank will do before they give out loan..... then we agreed

Socializing ; He is a very different kind( that's why I married him to make my life adventurous ) ..... too logical and principled he doesn't argue but will make you look like a fool when you're bluffing..... he has his own circle of friends and I do too...... I stopped asking to accompany me to mine (3yearsago) cos he won't talk ..... his own friends are all about NBA, NHL and UFC fights , go for drinks with friends and nothing more.. ...... ofcourse we both have our mutual friends ( family friends)

....he always predicts the outcome of my friendships and he's never been wrong. They always take advantage of me .... but what am I supposed to do? He'd reply ; leave them alone , you don't need them.

Character; I'm a workaholic type and don't know when to stop ( so I need taps on my back cos marriage is conditional )

and very laid back, I don't rush myself for anything ,

I rely soo much on technology and man power,

and I believe in miracles and some superstitions, and I forget things a lot. I believe in tough love.



He is a hardworking man but checks me when I'm working too much,

he enjoyed bonding with his kids rather than nannies and night outs was his idea( I'd rather stay home left to me but it's been fun)

his attitude is written all over him so you can't even give him sh it ofcourse except moi ( even my family talks to me first before they approach him) ,

he doesn't believe in miracles per sè even tho he was born a Christian ( you make it happen he says),

He's time conscious type

nah to superstitions, and he is my brain backup. He's too lenient on kids.

Overall ; he completes me in every aspect I'm short.

Hi jidegirl happy new year

As you said it takes alot of work and learning to understand your partner.The first one year of marriage i was so worked up and i used to think which kain person be this.He was tooo western for my liking.I used to want to change him by fire by force.Ha me i dont like this your Church of England jare no holy spirit shaking prayer.He was like ok no prob you can go to your pentecostal church.I then kept trying to force him to go with me.TBH it was more because the people there knew i was married and so in turn kept insinuated i was married to.an unbeliever.Me that i converted( i was just not born a muslim i was a practising one was vice president of mss in my sec schl.My ustaz was heartbroken for weeks when he found out i converted and marrired a christian.My own mother sef made my life hell) so i cant get why i was sooooo judgemental.I have matured more not just in marriage but in my walk with God.I know my husband bears the fruit of the spirit.

Happy New Year sis....... Lol at 'who kain person be this '... I've learnt to ignore what people think bout my family, they will continue to talk and it will never stop so we should get used to the idea you know .....

eh me nko omo Alhaji & Alhaja ..... my father took me to Mecca sef when I was little so I cherish my believes dearly ....... I believed if I don't do my 5 prayers a day and practice my 5pillars of Islam , I will not make heaven ....

When I converted to Christianity I lead my fellowship and do prayer meetings in my apartment because I was diligent& obedient when I was a Moslem , but this my loving darling you have to drag him to church every Sunday and Holy Ghost vigils , I embarrassed him and hosted church members for prayer meetings and couple groups ......he sits and flips thru bible looking for Timothy after the verse's already done he finally settled for bible app on his iPad ...lol to reduce the embarrassment ..... I hear men are babies .... it's kinda true.... they are work in progress lol ....

But I'm glad we picked the good ones that complimented us. It is well

These must be newly-weds!
I don even forget my husband's attribute. . .not to mention 'complementary combinations'!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!
Abeg. . .
Is it just me. . .or does anyone remember what the clock in his or her sitting room looks like after years of purchase or 'inheritance'?

I don't even remember how my husband's blokos looks like. . .I only use it in the 'darkness'!

Mu che che che che che che

Jellita:
Is it just me. . .or does anyone remember what the clock in his or her sitting room looks like after years of ;Dpurchase or 'inheritance'?

I don't even remember how my husband's blokos looks like. . .I only use it in the 'darkness'!

Mu che che che che che che

This woman when will you stop slaying me with your posts?! You are a total riot! You have me rolling in severe laughter. Walahi you are nuts! Lol @ only using it only in the darkness!

ileobatojo:

This woman when will you stop slaying me with your posts?! You are a total riot! You have me rolling in severe laughter. Walahi you are nuts! Lol @ only using it only in the darkness!

she's on a wind-up!
the eyes adjust to the darkness after a while and there's no way she wouldn't catch a glimpse of what is entering her mouth or her orifice. i wouldn't be surprised if jellita isn't a subservient wife to a very strict husband.....i wouldn't be surprised if she's a devout christian too. she's a good actress though, i give her that!

coogar:
i wouldn't be surprised if jellita isn't a subservient wife to a very strict husband.....

Please say it isn't so! If not Calloti/Blazay/Jelita, who else can I live vicariously through?!

coogar:

you can live with anyone, you are a witchdoctor!

Lol!

ileobatojo:
Please say it isn't so! If not Calloti/Blazay/Jelita, who else can I live vicariously through?!

you can live with anyone, you are a witchdoctor!

Jellita: These must be newly-weds!
I don even forget my husband's attribute. . .not to mention 'complementary combinations'!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!
Abeg. . .
Is it just me. . .or does anyone remember what the clock in his or her sitting room looks like after years of purchase or 'inheritance'?

I don't even remember how my husband's blokos looks like. . .I only use it in the 'darkness'!

Mu che che che che che che

Wetin you dey use am do

Shey you dey do am wellu wellu put am h-inside make he toush h-intestine

TOO FUNNY

debrief08: Don't get me started with the millions of questions he has for pentecoastal Pastors who try to "convert" Him. Biggest mistake, he is biblically sound and sorry to say most of them are not too sound. He asks them all sorts like "what is Gods account Number" and if they are Tax Collectors or Gods Agent on earth, when they quote half scriptures to sell their message he quotes the full passage and shuts them up.

One ccame to the house and said he wanted to pray and started well but started screaming, Hubby cleared his throat in the middle of the screaming and told the man to lower his voice that God is not deaf and he shouldn't alarm our son and neighbors who will be wondering if there is an emergency. He told him God doesn't need to be yelled at.
The pastor was in shock mouth open at the my husband who didn't realise what he had done, I almost entered the ground that day, I am sure the pastor would have concluded my husband was satan himself that day.

So many examples oh. Telling a friend to her face that her bleaching was getting too much and giving her green veins.