Cristiano Ronaldo congratulates Lionel Messi on winning
his fourth Ballon d’Or

Dear Lionel,
I am writing you this note to offer
my congratulations on winning
the Ballon d'Or. Again. As youcan
see by the look on my face, I am
very happy for you. Please forgive
me for not congratulating you at
the gala, but since I am so tall and
statuesque and you are so tiny
and maintain terrible posture, I
couldn't find you inthe crowd.
Also, since someone played a joke
on you by telling you to wear that
garish spotted jacket and tie,I
didn't want to keep you
fromgetting home and changing
your clothes as fast as you
possibly could.
That's how thoughtful I am.
It was another tremendous year
for me, and, supposedly, for you
as well. You had to set a world
record in order to score more
goals than me. Ofcourse, smart
people know that team
accomplishments ­
are far more important than
personal achievements and I
helped my
club to win La Liga in 2012
whereas you only helped your
club win
the Copa del Rey. The year my club
only won the Copa del Rey, I
did not win the Ballon d'Or. I
suppose this just shows
thatvoters hold me to a higher
standard than you.
Anyway, you have now won the
Ballon d'Or a record four times in
row. I guess you're happy about
that. Yet, Andy Gray, England's
most respected sexist
broadcaster, has questioned
whether you
could play well on a cold nightin
Stoke. After all, you have only won
titles for one club, whereas I have
won titles forclubs in La Liga and
the Premier League. But very
fewplayers have the physicaltalent
and mental strength to
provethemselves on different
teams and in different leagues, so
you should only feel a little bit bad
about that.People are always
trying to compare you and I, but
there really is no comparison. Yes,
we were both named after
Americans -- I was
named after Ronald Reagan, a
talented actor and two-term
president, whereas you
werenamed after Lionel Richie, a
man who
sang about dancing on the
ceiling. Which is both impossible
and patently ridiculous. I
impregnated a woman and
created a child in 2010, but it took
you until 2012 to figure out how
to do those things. I grew tall and
strongnaturally and you needed
enough growth
hormones to make even Lance
Armstrong feel guilty inorder to
be neither of those things. Also, I
wear proper tuxedos to formal
events while you wear a suit
made out of clown pants. So
comparing us is
both silly and unfair.
In conclusion, I congratulate you,
Leo. But remember: No matter
how many Ballon d'Or awardsyou
win, I still won it first.
Confidently yours,
Cristiano Ronaldo

dis is definitely one of the most ridiculous things ive read on ere

complete trash

Lol, quite funny and typical of ronaldo.