From Reddit


When I had posted about this it was heading toward the front page, so I had deleted it in order to insure the protection of the identities of everyone involved. I doubt anyone will feel motivated to track anyone down and harass them or anything after reading my update though...
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The ORIGINAL POST [/b]read as follows:
TL;DR - Had a great relationship with an amazing girl, her parents found out I wasn't Catholic, so they lied and harassed and have even had me wrongfully arrested (felony charges, still fighting them) and have shipped away my girlfriend, forever. We're in our early 20's, mind you, not high school. How could anyone respect religious families when they do things like this?
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[b]Longer version: I met the love of my life (let's call her "T" a couple years ago...and have been dating her for a year and a half. From the get go I could tell her family was, at least, very conservative. Her mother is very old-fashioned, and very foreign. The family happens to be, "a Catholic family". This was never a major issue for me and T, even though I'm a non-believer. We've abstained from sex, because she doesn't feel comfortable with it, and I've always respected that.

As time went by, I discovered that her parents were absolutely unbelievably NUTS. Aside from the handicap they've put on her critical thinking skills, shaming her and not educating her about sex, and just a general over-bearing over-protective sheltered upbringing, T is a very sweet girl. I love her dearly. But despite us having a normal healthy relationship, her parents (particularly her mom from the 'old country') have never ever liked me, pretty much solely because of my non-believer status. I consider myself an apatheist (just don't care for religion, isn't important to me).

The issues have started from her parents constantly inquiring about or speaking ill of me. From there it turned to dirty looks and unkind words when I came around. Stopped coming around, moved off to college (with T), and it turned to harassment. Her mother calling me on the phone, condescending me with the logical and oral communication skills of a 6th grader. I've always tried to remain rational and cool and collected, but have always held my grounds to ridiculous demands that I, "Let my daughter GO! Stop ruining her REPUTATION! Ruining her FUTURE!" These people are dramatic, and absolutely insane. I begged T to reduce contact with them, for the sake of our peace, and for the fact that they don't respect her decisions as an adult. She always just kept right on talking to them, all of the conversations leaving her in tears, then upon 'getting over it', she'd tell me, "This is how my family has always been, I've always just dealt with it."
--Here's where it gets messed up. Without getting into too much detail, after a solid year of monk-like patience with her sister (AS crazy as the parents, if not CRAZIER) being constantly obnoxious and abrasive and just flat out mean, I finally tried to reconcile our differences. The conversation was lengthy, and at one point included apologies and hugs. I knew something wasn't right, as she kept actively trying to say the bitchiest things she could possibly come up with, and eventually I snapped and raised my voice at her. All the vent up anger toward her family was satisfyingly unleashed. I bid farewell to T, telling her I couldn't deal with the constant stress of her family and T's unwillingness to separate us from their hatred and ignorance. T ran after me, and after a conversation we agreed to stay together, on the condition that we move her out of the house with her sister, and have her come stay with me. We went back, and started loading T's stuff. Her sister gets on the phone in front of us (dramatically, of course) "Umm...yeah, you said to call back if they came back?" ...The bitch had called police for some reason. Right as we finished packing, we drive out of the neighborhood, and we're stopped by police. The cop identifies me, and asks me if I had "pushed anyone" , or "hit anyone" ... "no" ..."ok, well put your hands behind your back"

I spent a week in jail, with a felony charge of 'false imprisonment' being currently brought against me. Her family contrived a false report specifically to get the "heathen non-believer away from our righteous catholic daughter!"... The psycho's have also filed three separate restraining orders. They're really laying it on... I know I did absolutely nothing wrong, I simply raised my voice, and I would have T to testify to that (she saw everything, it's our word against her crazy sister's) except........ While I was in jail, they got T's aunt to lie and tell her "I'll pick you up and take you for the weekend, so you can get away from all this" ....Her aunt ended up driving her 800 miles away to some extended family's house, and they've shut off her phone, and convinced her it's "for the best". I finally got ahold of T, and paid for a train ticket to bring her back, but she was too scared to do get on the train. Her religious nut parents have bullied her into submission. They've literally, taken her away from me.

So now... I have no one to testify in my favor with these false charges (may get falsely convicted, happens all the time), my girlfriend is far away and not coming back, and I feel completely alone. And this all started from me trying, despite overwhelming odds, to reach out and make peace with her sister. How can religious people justify lying and abusing the judicial system in the name of "rescuing their daughter from the clutches of an atheist"? Are lies (they've also made up lies about me to T, lying about fake background checks they've done on me, just straight up made things up) justified if you're just assuring your daughter can go to heaven? I don't understand how religious people can do wicked, awful, EVIL things like this to others, and expect to have their ideas and traditions respected...

The worst thing about this to me, is my (now ex) girlfriend T is in her early 20's...and seems permanently crippled into being a scared child at the very utterance of her parent's authority... Is this the appeal to religious upbringings? Because I've never witnessed a more destructive force in the world. Furthermore, they've cut her off financially unless she moves schools. Last I talked to her, she was trying to transfer away from the school we both go to... T is smart and kind, and our relationship had a deep connection, and was founded on honesty and companionship, but it was snuffed out, I'm now facing a felony, and all my plans for the future are now having to be re-thought, all because of absurd religious non-sense... How could anyone ever respect religion when it is so clearly not a force for love or good? It is mostly a status symbol and an obsession for the deranged and ignorant.

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.................................---UPDATE---.......................
I am well. Very well. They lost miserably in civil court. Her mom, at one point, told the judge: "I could just FEEL that something was wrong when she didn't answer my text to her, you know? So I called the cops." The judge just sort of stared at her, like, "really?". Her sister and mom made fools of themselves, and could not prove that I was any kind of threat. My declaration in court was super terse and unemotional (opposite of their theatrics), and the judge denied the restraining orders.

As far as the criminal charges, the felony was eventually lowered to a misdemeanor.
Her parents would come to the pre-trial dates and just glare at me, and try to act buddy buddy with the court staff and DA. It was very cringe-worthy. I feel like her parents live in this little bubble where they don't realize how they come off to other people, because they mirror and legitimize their entitled snobby judgmental superficial behaviors by being around each other, and hardly anyone else really. After her parents had written a few letters to the DA telling them how "this heathen man has corrupted our poor daughter away from god!" (according to T, the letters were RIDICULOUS. like..INSANE) it became apparent very quickly that they weren't taking her sister or parents very seriously, at all.

One thing I've learned about DA's from every lawyer I know, is that they really want to feel like they've won. I recommended to my public defender (nice guy actually) to see if they'd lower my charges to an infraction, so I could just pay a ticket be done with all of it (as I was about to start another semester of school). I ended up pleading guilty to "disturbing the peace", which is.... the same ticket you and your buddies got that one time you were being a bit too loud at that baseball game and the cops came and you almost got away with a warning and the one of your buddies (you know, the dumb ass one) said one last thing and the cop got mad and gave you all tickets for "disturbing the peace"...
So yeah, I just paid a little ticket and got done with it. No misdemeanor on my record or anything. Just an infraction. I'm absolutely fine with the outcome.
As far as me and my beloved T? Her parents made her a flurry of promises and, well, bribes, to switch schools. I told her they were lying to her. I ultimately ended things with her when I realized that she'd rather take the money from her parents and live lavishly, than live a bit more modestly (cut off), but still be with me. I find choosing money over love a bit superficial, but that's just me. She did end up transferring to another school, and yeah, her parents were lying about the promises they made her. Who would have that.

The truth is, I still care very much about her, still love her very much, and hope she finds some peace. Last we spoke, she was very depressed, and due to a constant feed of lies from her parents about me (apparently I was glaring at THEM in the court rooms, not the other way around, etc, etc, etc) she also has very much come to see me as "the bad guy", and I'm not even going to bother to try to clear my name, because gullibility is her fault, not mine. Someday I will hopefully get to talk to her again when things have had time to cool down, when she's had some time to grow as a person, and we could just have some closure for us both. I don't like for things to end badly when they can end decently, and above all... I really do just want the best for her.
I'm happy though. The civil system worked (this time) for me. School is good, life is good, and I'm excited about what the future may bring.

MORAL OF THE STORY? As soon as you meet the family, and they're religious nuts... Just run for your life. Trust me, I also thought, "It'll be fine, she's not like them, really".

In Nigeria, almost all famillies are relgious nut cases.

If you keep runing you will never have a decent relationship

Why not try tagging along as a nut case yourself

turnstoner: In Nigeria, almost all famillies are relgious nut cases.

If you keep runing you will never have a decent relationship

Why not try tagging along as a nut case yourself

Guy.......na to run overseas.

Logicboy03:


Guy.......na to run overseas.

But the story is from the overseas.
Anyway, to me the story isn't sad, it ends on an inspiring note, one of him moving on and regaining his pride and dignity.
The only tragic figure is the girl.

inurmind:

But the story is from the overseas.
Anyway, to me the story isn't sad, it ends on an inspiring note, one of him moving on and regaining his pride and dignity.
The only tragic figure is the girl.

lol.......the girl is used to her nutjob family......she will be okay when she becomes independent

Logicboy03:


lol.......the girl is used to her nutjob family......she will be okay when she becomes independent

Remember your elephant analogy?
I don't think so.

inurmind:

Remember your elephant analogy?
I don't think so.

lol.....maybe......her bf must have loosened some mental chains

Eyaaa..... ;( love gone' down the drain.

Jesus Wept

Logicboy03:


lol.....maybe......her bf must have loosened some mental chains

You know I could have done the same thing. There was this girl, the sweetest and most wonderful being I have ever known. Could have gotten her to change, almost tried to, but I couldn't.
I know you would call me an a;s;s but I just couldn't. If I did she was going to suffer to much. Her father was a pastor, orthodox sort of people and all. And she was just to soft to handle all the trouble.
Atimes you look at people and think they are better off not knowing, so I let go.

inurmind:

You know I could have done the same thing. There was this girl, the sweetest and most wonderful being I have ever known. Could have gotten her to change, almost tried to, but I couldn't.
I know you would call me an a;s;s but I just couldn't. If I did she was going to suffer to much. Her father was a pastor, orthodox sort of people and all. And she was just to soft to handle all the trouble.
Atimes you look at people and think they are better off not knowing, so I let go.

I understand

A sad story indeed. This is the virus of fanaticism at work here. Let it be noted that fanaticism isn't unique to religions. One can be fanatic about any belief.

Uyi Iredia: A sad story indeed. This is the virus of fanaticism at work here. Let it be noted that fanaticism isn't unique to religions. One can be fanatic about any belief.

Very true.

Uyi Iredia: A sad story indeed. This is the virus of fanaticism at work here. Let it be noted that fanaticism isn't unique to religions. One can be fanatic about any belief.

First time I agree with you