We were to have our traditional wedding December 2012 after my poeple went her parents to ask for her hand in marriage. The parents, we had known them for over 2 years or so and the father liked me. In fact, we had man to man conversation shortly after the introduction. I presumed he liked me and I never had any reason to worry. The mother on the other hand had reservations but eventually caved and gave her approval. We were fine I thought. It was when we called the Mum that they should give us the cost estaimate of renovating the village house the we discovered we were being played. The father suddenly became hostile and started insulting me that my interest in her daughter was money. She ordered her daughter not to see me again and that she should not even pick my calls.I felt betrayed and somewhat maligned. For the avoidance of doubt, I met her daughter as corps member who had no job, I had a car already at the time, I had landed properties and I's comfortable. Money was never and has never been an issue for me. I love her and that is all. At my age, 30 yrs, I am fulfilled with a doctorate in view and a job that pays more than enough. I felt the father should have a better reason. Following investigation, we discovered there was someone abroad whom they wanted her to marry hence their sudden change of mind.
We had waited a long time without intimacy and yet we were happy and for me, she is a good person inspite of an issue we had last year. We took laws into our hands and now she is preggy. Things have been so strange. Neither my parents nor her parents is aware and now we don't know if what to do. Incidentally, the father who would not answer her greeting suddenly called her yesterday and said she should inform me to come get a date for our traditional wedding. I feel so angry that I don't want to see him! I am even scared considering how they humiliated me and made me look like a fool before my people. My Dad has been disturbing me but I cud not tell him what is happening. Pls help!

What do you need help for?
You both have taken the short-cut already and its worked so far.
I'm just afraid your in-laws have lost your respect and I hope you don't hold it against them for too long or take it out on your fiancee/wife.
Everyone has weaknesses and now you know theirs.Please look past it, forgive them and get on with what you have started.
All the best!!

slimyem: What do you need help for?
You both have taken the short-cut already and its worked so far.

Exactly! You decided to get pregnant to force their hand, it has worked, her dad has invited you to come and marry his daughter. What exactly is the problem here? Time to man up and go and marry your wife! Congratulations!

I just don't know how to tell my parents and face her parents too.
I should had thought about this but I never did. See things clearer now. It has not affected the way I see their daughter though. I think I even love her more and would be glad to formalise our union in a registry and do the trad. I am still upset that the father could cook up those lies about me not having a job, not being educated and all that.

Achiles: I just don't know how to tell my parents and face her parents too.
I should had thought about this but I never did. See things clearer now. It has not affected the way I see their daughter though. I think I even love her more and would be glad to formalise our union in a registry and do the trad. I am still upset that the father could cook up those lies about me not having a job, not being educated and all that.

the deed had been done, summon up courage and be a man jor. Wiv time, if u prove urself worthy of their daughter, they'll respect u

Which help do u need? Abi I want us to help u to go and prostrate in the village ni?
U have gotten her pregnant so the only logical thing ti o is go and ser her parents and get married.

Since you pple have used short-cut and it has worked for you this far, then, nothing left for you than to sum up the courage and go and do the right things.
With your parents, you dont have any problem, but with your in-laws, you need a lot of courage and most likely an intermediary(alarina) who will help you to appeal to them on your behalf, including you and your pple.
Wishing you goodluck.
So, congrats in advance.

Can someone help me summarize this

dayokanu: Can someone help me summarize this

His fiancee's father seems to be hostile towards him and he decided to get his fiancee pregnant

@op its your own headache look for a paracetamol to cure it. pregnancy is not a prerequisite for marriage. If the father of the lady finds out then you may be out of the scene, you played the wrong card.

How about a little meeting with your in-laws to be to discuss that out? What was that about accusing you that you wanted their daughter for her money? I mean if that isn't really so. If I were a man and i get accused of that, if I am not in the relationship for that i will tell them as decently as I can that i don't take kindly to being insulted like that. Better to let in-laws know the length to keep the hands on the shoulder so that when the marriage is proper you won't get worse treatment.

You need to clear that air and proceed with your woman if that is what the two of you want. You don't want to be accused of another thing when another type of suitor appears again.