People i want your views on this, I ask my newly married fried what she will do if she happen to find out that her husband is keeping another girl outside, she replied that immediately she find out that, she will not bother comfronting him, she will go and find another man outside that will servicing her and still stay with the husband provided the husband does not find out too.

Whats your opinion on her answer?

two options either divorce him immediately

or stay with him and work through his infidelity issues through counselling

Depends on what I have at stake at the time of the revelation.  Does not call for any "quick" decision.  It is a marriage. . . .you do not just up and leave.  You have to plan the perfect "getaway" which might involve 20-100 steps. The first step is to go for a thorough check up and move into a separate bedroom, for at least 6 months.

It definitely calls for a serious evaluation of that marriage.  To stay or leave depends on a lot of things. Different strokes for different folks.

Going to find another man outside is not the answer. Your friend needs to contain the "dog" in her yard first, before she adopts another stray pet with all kinds of "issues"!

almondjoy:

Depends on what I have at stake at the time of the revelation. Does not call for any "quick" decision. It is a marriage. . . .you do not just up and leave. You have to plan the perfect "getaway" which might involve 20-100 steps.

It definitely calls for a serious evaluation of that marriage. To stay or leave depends on a lot of things. Different strokes for different folks.

were are all those unmarried females?

4Him:

were are all those unmarried females?

The question is not addressed to unmarried females.  That would be in the "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" section of Nairaland!

HUSBAND NOT BOYFRIEND OR SHAG DOG!

Well those of us who are single may as well stay and learn a few tricks

There are some things you can never learn unless you are in that situation and this is just one of those situations.

That is very true . . . but a man who wants to embark on a journey to an unknown country is wise if he gets as much information from those who have made the journey and back.

TEll her to stop cooking up stories to own a thread on Nairaland

"Keeping another girl outside?" Not even an un-serious fu ck, even though that is just as bad. This sounds like a relationship that the man intends to nurture alongside his marriage! Talk about eating his cake and having it. At the begining of the marriage too! He isn't even giving his marriage a chance and trying to be faithful. Such a man will only get worse, in my opinion. Like AJ said, she needs to move out of their bedroom first. Then take time to weigh her options. If they are no children, then its less complicated. He may be still finding it hard to come around to the idea of marriage and might be sowing his final oats (this is all humbug. He should have done all this before marrying). But a woman can usually tell if the guy is just an all-out dog and is not about to change his ways. That is, if she lets herself see what is so clear before her eyes. She also needs to find out the status of that other chick. If she's a girlfriend from before he married, then its going to get ugly. Girlfriend is going to hang on with bleeding nails. Especially as hubby still cheats with her. I've seen it lots of times, one time ending in needless tragedy. No-one needs the years of constant bickering and fighting that this will invariably cause. If she decides to stay, she needs to nip this in bud quick-quick! No be siddon look matter be this. If she tolerates it, it will get worse. Even if he leaves the girl, there will be others. So she needs to put her foot down by letting him know in clear terms, what would happen if he continues to cheat. And follow it through if he does!

@poster if women can be truthful to themselves sometimes d infidelity of d man is caused by women,especially if she likes nagging and doesnt give her husband sex wen he needs it,dont blame him if he goes out,as for those dat said they will leave theior husbands house,welldone ,go now and see if d girl he has outside wont come in,as for u dat will move to a seperate room,do it and continue encouraging infidelity,at d end of d day shame will belong to u,cos another woman like u,wt two breasts and legs ,took ur husband away from u,my God its a disgrace to womanhood,if u find out ur husband is cheating on u,sit down and ask urself questions,find out if the fault is from u and if it is make amends

chinda3:

@poster if women can be truthful to themselves sometimes d infidelity of d man is caused by women,especially if she likes nagging and doesnt give her husband sex when he needs it,don't blame him if he goes out,as for those that said they will leave theior husbands house,welldone ,go now and see if d girl he has outside wont come in,as for u that will move to a seperate room,do it and continue encouraging infidelity,at d end of d day shame will belong to u,because another woman like u,wt two breasts and legs ,took your husband away from u,my God its a disgrace to womanhood,if u find out your husband is cheating on u,sit down and ask yourself questions,find out if the fault is from u and if it is make amends

Where did you leave your brains? Please hurry up and go and get it back because, boy, your intellectual state is terrible.

almondjoy:

Depends on what I have at stake at the time of the revelation. Does not call for any "quick" decision. It is a marriage. . . .you do not just up and leave. You have to plan the perfect "getaway" which might involve 20-100 steps. The first step is to go for a thorough check up and move into a separate bedroom, for at least 6 months.

It definitely calls for a serious evaluation of that marriage. To stay or leave depends on a lot of things. Different strokes for different folks.

Going to find another man outside is not the answer. Your friend needs to contain the "dog" in her yard first, before she adopts another stray pet with all kinds of "issues"!

Best advice so far. But then, it might be me, i can hardly see myself forgiving but as you have said, you can never know what to do unless you experience it.

chinda3:

@poster if women can be truthful to themselves sometimes d infidelity of d man is caused by women,especially if she likes nagging and doesnt give her husband sex when he needs it,don't blame him if he goes out,as for those that said they will leave theior husbands house,welldone ,go now and see if d girl he has outside wont come in,as for u that will move to a seperate room,do it and continue encouraging infidelity,at d end of d day shame will belong to u,because another woman like u,wt two breasts and legs ,took your husband away from u,my God its a disgrace to womanhood,if u find out your husband is cheating on u,sit down and ask yourself questions,find out if the fault is from u and if it is make amends

unfair of you to say, and what do you mean 'doesn't give her husband sex when he needs it', if we are not in the mood we are not in the mood, is it by force?  plus, the man should learn to control himself 

@poster
yeah, its a marriage and like almondjoy said it wouldn't be good to just 'get up and go', maybe try and go through counselling, talk through with eachother about it, ask him for his reasons for cheating etc

no way
she will do no such



first go to a babalawo
tell him that u want the girl dead
and u want ur husbands johnney to
know u and only u

thats all, u see its so smiple

she should thank me 4 that u no

EFOSA VAL:



no way
she will do no such



first go to a babalawo
tell him that u want the girl dead
and u want your husbands johnney to
know u and only u

thats all, u see its so smiple

she should thank me 4 that u no

very funny joke

you cant just go look anoda man gosh

two wrong dont make a right

two wrong makes d worst

first dont go to babalawo at all, just try to talk things over with him, whatever his reasons are you need to know and dont let the truth bother you much, just try and work things out and if its not working my dear get out!!! now and fast, but remember that the other guys out there are no better than him, THE DEVIL YOU KNOW,

@ poster

Never mind your friend and if you should listen to her advice, that might not work for you and it might also destroy your marriage.If it happens that you caught your husband having an affair outside you have to talk to him and counsell him as well, and also check out for the reason why he did such a thing to you. Cuz there might be something that he's expecting you to be doing which you were unable to do. And that might lead him to doing such a thing.
It takes two hands to clap, you have to work together with your husband in other to have a better and long life marriage.

Have fun.

two wrongs dont make a right, one person needs to be mature enough for confrontations.

Lots of Nigerian women can't do anything about it, my uncles seems to have gotten away with infidelity just fine.

I do not approved of infidenity but don't be fooled by the internet persona of these NL women. Most would scream for a week or two but take back daddy junior in an instant.

For me, I would throw him out of the house; you want to be with someone else, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

honestly, with things like this, infidelity in marriage it is a very serious problem and it isn't always a snap decision that one can just make like that though it might be easy to say things on here like leave, stay, or whatever but until you are in such real situation you cant really fully predict your decision/action when such things happen. so with that said, i don't actually know what i would do at first if i happen to catch him cheating cox i need to deal with the anger first.

By AJ
Depends on what I have at stake at the time of the revelation. Does not call for any "quick" decision. It is a marriage. . . .you do not just up and leave. You have to plan the perfect "getaway" which might involve 20-100 steps. The first step is to go for a thorough check up and move into a separate bedroom, for at least 6 months.

It definitely calls for a serious evaluation of that marriage. To stay or leave depends on a lot of things. Different strokes for different folks.

Going to find another man outside is not the answer. Your friend needs to contain the "dog" in her yard first, before she adopts another stray pet with all kinds of "issues"!

truer words have never been spoken. True true

I will discuss it with him and demands that he stops it but if he repeats it, then i will ask for divorce, thats just me. My tolerance level for infidelity is almost zero.

@ poster personally i will not confront him neither will i make him know that i have already found that, will continue to threat him nice . But will try finding out why he is cheating on me.

ijleke:

@ poster personally i will not confront him neither will i make him know that i have already found that, will continue to threat him nice . But will try finding out why he is cheating on me.

why would you keep shut about it?

@ bawomolo, because i dont see the reason fighting or stressing myself over a guy that aint wort it. i will find out why he is doing it but if there is no reason will ignore him totally.