Dear Colleagues,
Unfortunately, I lost my senior brother (the
same mother the same father) three years ago
at age of 50, my brother left one wife with five
children. My brother's wife still young (thirty
years) plus. She so interest on me after the
burial/outing service or some months later,
she always calling me on the phone that I
abandoned her. In fact, I try my best for her by
sending money to her through bank account to
take herself because I'm leaving at Ajah, My
brother did not complete his house project
before his untimely death, myself with support
of family member complete the building and
she is living there at Ogijo Ikorodu. Also her
first son (19 years old)stay with me and caring
for him. There was a day she told me on the
phone that "Did i think she will marry another
person after 5 children to my brother" and
everything is not money, she want to see me,
Infact I feel somehow that day.
In conclusion, as a christian I don't want to
cheat my own "housewife" or look like I'm
commiting adultery or fornication. What Can I
do? to marry her, OR to tell her to leave my
brother's house to go and marry another
person with five children.
Please I need your Help.
From Safejourney, Ajah, Lagos

Originally posted here https://www.nairaland.com/1217895/marry-senior-brothers-wife#14646470

As a Muslim man, how would you advice a Muslim to react under this scenario?

As a Muslim women, would you accept this woman as a co-wife or ask your husband to ignore her and the need for his neices and nephews to have a stable home with his input and the emotional stability of their mother?

maclatunji: As a Muslim man, how would you advice a Muslim to react under this scenario?

As a Muslim women, would you accept this woman as a co-wife or ask your husband to ignore her and the need for his neices and nephews to have a stable home with his input and the emotional stability of their mother?

If he likes her and with the consent of his wife, he can marry her. This is the Beauty of Islam - light to the world - the widow will be happy, the 5 children will have a home and be sure of a healthy life(at least) the wife will get her reward ........ and who says the man must have intimate relationship with the widow.

HOW ELSE WILL THE WORLD BE A BETTER PLACE?

This is different from the case of a young man with a young wife having the urge to marry another wife.... usually i ask, is he really lowering his gaze or does he not fear that he may not be able to deal justly with the two wives?/.... MAy God in his mercy guide us aright.

^Thank you for your insight.

It will be good if the person can go through (Q4:V19-27) very well.

ghazzal:

If he likes her and with the consent of his wife, he can marry her. This is the Beauty of Islam - light to the world - the widow will be happy, the 5 children will have a home and be sure of a healthy life(at least) the wife will get her reward ........ and who says the man must have intimate relationship with the widow.

But after marriage, intimate relations becomes the right of the wife over her husband so if he is marrying her he has to ....errmm.... have those relations with her.
She is still human.

My opinion on the topic is that; since Muslim men are allowed to have more than one wife then I guess he can marry the widow, with or without his wife's approval. Allah has granted the man permission to marry many wives in the Qur'an so the wife really has no right to say 'don't marry someone else'.
It would be wrong of her to make haram for him, what Allah made Halaal for him.

But it would be traumatic for the wife though.
Seeing her husband show affection to another woman in the house, hearing their 'relations' in the room at night, having to reduce her spending because her husband now has another mouth(s) to feed and maybe her husband would end up loving the widow more than he loves her so that is another heartache she has to deal with.

But it is the man's right to marry four wives so these things can take back stage.

I think this is a perfect situation/reason for him to marry more than one wife. For the woman to voice out shows that she wants more than just money. She's in her thirties for crying out loud! How do you want her to start looking for husband in this our society? Since she's the one showing the green light, I will advice the man to arrange for the wedding asap... body is not firewood