Looking for ways to make
relationships work or going an
extra mile to ensure things are
in place is an indication you
are willing to do your bit for
the sake of love. This process of harnessing
financial, emotional and
material resources does not
promise to be an easy journey
but like they say; “what is
worth doing, is worth doing well”. To achieve a reasonable
level of success, certain words
and what they really stand for
should come to play.

Attitude: We keep hearing people say “Attitude is
everything”. Indeed your
attitude towards your spouse
determines to a great extent
what is going to happen to the
relationship sooner or later; would you be able to cope
with each other? Will someone be willing to
sacrifice for the joy of the
other? If corrections come,
how would the affected party
react to it? How would matters
of care and concern be handled? As a matter of fact,
attitude defines your entire
daily dealings with the one
you love. Simply put, it is who
you are and what you do; how
you treat others and your expectations of them as well.
If you have the right attitude,
your relationship is likely to
groove well.

Approach: Up to a certain point, people are not really
sure whether there is any
difference between ‘Attitude’
and ‘Approach’. Your manner
of approach has a part to play
in the way your spouse would respond/react to you. Soft
answers have a way of
calming down rage while
annoying words keep flames
high. The way you approach a
person concerning an issue
determines whether you’ll get
what you expected or not.
Learning to use polite words is
not old fashioned at all; it rather reveals you have
understanding of the need to
show respect to your partner.
When people feel they are not
respected as expected, they
become difficult to love and get along with.

Apologise: There are more wounded lovers today than in
past times; the desire to flow
with a jet age has made
people feel too cool to say ‘I’m
sorry’. Some people would
rather close down a shop, buying all the gifts, flowers
and perfumes when their
partner seem offended than to
offer clear simple, heartfelt
apologies. The second issue
with apologies is your ability to do it convincingly. The one
you are apologising to should
be convinced that you mean
every bit of what you just said. When accepted, a total
turnaround tells the world you
were truly sorry or probably
would have done what you did
in error. So if you are truly
sorry, please change your bad ways, then there will be
peace.

Allow: Allowing your loved one some personal space to
breathe and think
independently might sound
like some kind of controversy
but this could really be healthy
for relationships. Say it to yourself repeatedly that your
spouse deserves to exercise
his/her mind on issues you
might not want to comment. Giving a free hand in
relationships shows that you
trust each other’s sense of
judgment and appreciation of
things. A man that still wants
to go shopping with his wife because he believes he has
been buying things for himself
for ages and understands the
techniques of big saves will
end up frustrating his wife
who had spent all her life looking forward to that time of
independence when she would
be the woman of her very own
house. A lady who is looking for the
duplicate of her father in a
husband will not only look for
long but would be shocked to
discover that every man wants
to be himself and not to act like his father in-law. If your wife comes with her
unique style of cooking
different from your mother’s
cooking method; why not
simply relax and enjoy the
variety? Checking on your wife to be sure no one talks to her
on the phone; whether at
home or work might not yield
much result after a while. Allowing each other some
level of freedom and privacy is
good but let this be done in
understanding; make sure you
don’t hide behind this to
commit atrocities; transparency is good but
spending some time alone to
think clearly and refresh is the
secret of most successful
marriages. Young lovers believe talking
and chattering is an expression
of deep love but as they grow
older, mature silence that says
“staying by your side is enough
comfort for me” replaces busy, restless attention seeking
moves.

Acknowledge: Getting to a place where you acknowledge
and esteem your lover above
you is the zenith of true love.
Discovering each other should
not only be limited to physical/
emotional contact. The gifts and talents you see in
your darling should be
celebrated. You do not need to
bruise the ego of your spouse
before they submit to you. Destroying his/her own ego or
personality will make them
detest you, feel unloved, turn
arrogant or desire to trust a
stranger who encourages them
to grow. Identify the areas your partner
is good at and delegate
responsibilities connected to
them without interference.
Look for those things that will
make them feel important and needed; comment nicely on
how they have brought shine
on the relationship with this
special touch. Always remember to tell them
‘you would not be who or
where you are today without
them’. Everyone loves to
know they are contributing
something good to life; go ahead and give them that
reassurance and validity. It’s
your responsibility to
strengthen your relationship in
every good way possible.
Enjoy!