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Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 9:14am On Dec 07, 2015
There is just so much hype about marriage.
Though the pressure is more on women than it is on men.

So, pardon me because this post is more about women than men.
If a man is single, the society does not look down on him, or mock him. At least not so much.
There is never an official age for a man to tie the knot.
When he has the resources(money), he is ready.

For a woman, it is different.
She is either accused of having a poor character or maybe possessed.
In most cases, It is worse for her when she is successful and well to do.
Then, she is accused of bad attitudes, some people would say:

"She is domineering"
"She lacks respect"
"She is not easy to control"
And many other things.

For example, it is rare to see male celebrities being harassed especially on social media because of their marital status.

Dbanj (35) Don Jazzy- 33(music age) and M.i 34, always find a way of making fun out of any topic that has to do with their marital status.
But, when it comes to the female celebrites,the reverse is the case.

In recent times, popular blogger Linda Ikeji has been the eye of the storm when it comes to marriage discussions and issues.

At age 35, singlehood seems to be the only thing that stirs up controversy with her, excluding her controversial blog.

It was no surprise when immediately her sister-Laura Ikeji- announced the purchase of the 600 million Naira mansion by the blogger, some Nigerians came at her again.
Taunting her, and reminding her of her inability to get a husband after so much success.

On a particular day, i was not sure what trended more.
The 600 million Naira house at banana island, or her "husband palava"
But being the person she is, she seemed unruffled by the controversy.
No doubt Linda is a strong woman.

But she is not the only spinster around.
Rita dominic at 40
Genevive at 36
Ini Edo 33, Funke Akindele 38 (both second hand spinsters though).

Apart from being celebrities, another thing peculiar about these women is that,they are all successful and self made.
They never seem bothered about the negativity that their marital status would throw at them.

Apart from celebrities, there are other unmarried women doing well for themselves.

These women,probably have their reasons for choosing to remain single, which may not really be because of their physical attributes or their attitudes.
It is also wrong to conclude or generalize especially when it has to do with issues such as this.

But then, what is the essence of marriage?

Financial Reasons?
What if money fails later, can you stay for better for worse or for better for bad?

To Cure Loneliness?
Is loneliness a sickness?
or is having a spouse the tablet or the cure?

Because you are pregnant?
Never make that mistake because sex is never a criteria for measuring love.
You know that right?
You had sex, and you became pregnant. That is all.

Because you are age ripe?
This reminds me of a friend who got into the University at age 26, graduated four years later, got married at 31, and she has 3 kids already.
What then is the ripe age especially for a woman?
19, 23, 26, 30?

Because of Children?
What if you learn years after marriage that you can not have children?
What then?
Nobody wants to hear the "Children are not the most important thing" sermon.

Marriage is the next Item?
Okay, you finish your secondary school, you go to the university and you graduate.
You go for service(NYSC) then get a job, and then get married.
Is that how your timetable looks?

Or you are aching to know how sex feels , but you believe in the " No sex before marriage" policy.
That is a weird reason to get married.

All i am saying is, Marriage should not be done for the wrong reasons.
There is no need to be desperate to get married.
If you decide to get married, fine !
If not, no problem.
For once let us stop leaving our lives by the standard people set for us.
It is your life, isn't it?
Make your rules and bother less what the society thinks.

In the words of Mandy Hale (remixed by me)
"A busy vibrant, goal-oriented person is so much more attractive than someone who waits around for a person to come validate their existence".

It is better to be single and happy than married and depressed.

Culled from
http://www.sincerenigerian.com/2015/12/marriage-is-not-important.html?m=1
www.sincerenigerian.com

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by HungerBAD: 9:15am On Dec 07, 2015
Your message exactly?

The females you quoted, though successful, are not exactly good role models.

While not disrespecting them, is it Genevieve that had a Baby at 15? Or Ini Edo that a day after her wedding, forgot what her marital vows were? Or is it Funke that chose to be the 6th or is the 7th wife of a Dignified tout?

The truth is, if a woman is good, marriage usually finds her, and she will stay married.

Yes, they should be bothered as any woman should be, if at a certain age, they are still being referred to as Aunty Genny, or Aunty Funke.

10 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Nobody: 9:23am On Dec 07, 2015
Women that marry late suffer the risk of very painful labour. Other go through ceaserian section plus late marry could mean getting closer to menopause that expected. Marry early and see your children children grow.
But it's good and OK.
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Pheals(f): 9:23am On Dec 07, 2015
If marriage is not important how do you want:

Nigeria population to increase

Does U mention if they have baby some where dey go tell U?

Some U also mentioned prefer Bleep and go

Op don't marry

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Isaacmacdon(m): 9:28am On Dec 07, 2015
I decided 2 comment 1st b4 i read cos f reasns best known 2 me..



*modified* bro #nooffense buh r u high? Uve bn conned into believing falsehood, its clear u r pushing an agenda! wink
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Isaacmacdon(m): 9:29am On Dec 07, 2015
Miadad:
Women that marry late suffer the risk of very painful labour. Marry early and see your children children grow.
But it good and OK.
u r mouthed! U deserve a kiss on ur cheek.
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 9:29am On Dec 07, 2015
Miadad:
Women that marry late suffer the risk of very painful labour. Marry early and see your children children grow.
But it good and OK.
The question is, What happens if you decide to stay single?
To you, is marriage compulsory?
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 9:33am On Dec 07, 2015
HungerBAD:
Your message exactly?

The females you quoted, though successful, are not exactly good role models.

While not disrespecting them, is it Genevieve that had a Baby at 15? Or Ini Edo that a day after her wedding, forgot what her marital vows were? Or is it Funke that chose to be the 6th or is the 7th wife of a Dignified tout?

The truth is, if a woman is good, marriage usually finds her, and she will stay married.

Yes, they should be bothered as any woman should be, if at a certain age, they are still being referred to as Aunty Genny, or Aunty Funke.

But do you think there is anything wrong in a woman that decides to stay single
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Nobody: 9:39am On Dec 07, 2015
Omoswags:

The question is, What happens if you decide to stay single?
To you, is marriage compulsory?
My life, my rules. Omoswags, there are many single women in Nigeria today. Take a look at the church, mosque, event centers and society at large. We have them many, don't be deceived a lot of marriage are just managing. Make married men and women your friends and it exposes you to what marriage entails.
Marriage is ordained by God, so if marriage is ordained by God. Its compulsory.

2 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by obinnashady(m): 9:46am On Dec 07, 2015
Every woman must have a man,just like every other animal,marriage must happen else,human beings will go extinct b4 time.everyone needs a companion at a certain stage in life,no matter who u are,those women u are trying to vouch for are dying and crying their eyes out every other night for a husband,some of them are glorified wh*res,who made their money by sleeping with men.if marriage wasn't so important,why did funke jump into marriage knowing she's not the first wife.u think Genevieve doesn't want to marry?.oga think well,all these ladies are dying to have a husband.talking about the guys,they've not married cos they not gotten the right women,even @70 and above,a man's sperm is still super active unlike women who are hit with menopause at a certain 40+years.when u put all these together,u'll understand that men doesn't have much problem as par age compared to the women,who even age faster than men.

3 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by PresVA: 9:56am On Dec 07, 2015
Op, simply say that the way the society sees the unmarried is wrong, instead of saying marriage is unimportant. ..

I share in your message of not looking down on the singles esp females....However, I think marriage is important. ..

3 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:03am On Dec 07, 2015
Isaacmacdon:
u r mouthed! U deserve a kiss on ur cheek.
ode! Single baby moms have already excused that. A woman can have her baby whenever she wants at the same time live the kind of life she wants too.story

Be that as it may op grin

Coughs grin

Have you worn your helmets and boxing gloves because they're coming for your head grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:06am On Dec 07, 2015
PresVA:
Op, simply say that the way the society sees the unmarried is wrong, instead of saying marriage is unimportant. ..

I share in your message of not looking down on the singles esp females....However, I think marriage is important. ..
at this age and with the way things are going if someone still dictates the kind of life you want to live Be it society or any baga you're a 21st century fool

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 10:11am On Dec 07, 2015
Miadad:

My life, my rules. Omoswags, there are many single women in Nigeria today. Take a look at the church, mosque, event centers and society at large. We have them many, don't be deceived a lot of marriage are just managing. Make married men and women your friends and it exposes you to what marriage entails.
Marriage is ordained by God, so if marriage is ordained by God. Its compulsory.
hmmmm
If marriage is compulsory, then again, how about those that chose to be nuns?
Or how about the men? is it compulsory for them as well.
btw*** Your life, your rules. i don't think we are arguing that.
I'm just saying, marriage isn't compulsory for everybody. If it happens for you, good. If not, No p.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 10:11am On Dec 07, 2015
SAMBARRY:
ode! Single baby moms have already excused that. A woman can have her baby whenever she wants at the same time live the kind of life she wants too.story

Be that as it may op grin

Coughs grin

Have you worn your helmets and boxing gloves because they're coming for your head grin
LOL

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by PresVA: 10:11am On Dec 07, 2015
SAMBARRY:
at this age and with the way things are going if someone still dictates the kind of life you want to live Be it society or any baga you're a 21st century fool
Yeah right, Society shouldn't dictate for anyone. ..

But then, the society has a large influence..Sincerely. ...
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:11am On Dec 07, 2015
Women can have kids by whoever before they clock menopause and at that age the kid is already grown and most likely is about to leave the university or have left. Bottom line marriage is important and valuable to some while it isn't to others. Different strokes for different folks
obinnashady:
Every woman must have a man,just like every other animal,marriage must happen else,human beings will go extinct b4 time.everyone needs a companion at a certain stage in life,no matter who u are,those women u are trying to vouch for are dying and crying their eyes out every other night for a husband,some of them are glorified wh*res,who made their money by sleeping with men.if marriage wasn't so important,why did funke jump into marriage knowing she's not the first wife.u think Genevieve doesn't want to marry?.oga think well,all these ladies are dying to have a husband.talking about the guys,they've not married cos they not gotten the right women,even @70 and above,a man's sperm is still super active unlike women who are hit with menopause at a certain 40+years.when u put all these together,u'll understand that men doesn't have much problem as par age compared to the women,who even age faster than men.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:13am On Dec 07, 2015
PresVA:
Yeah right, Society shouldn't dictate for anyone. ..

But then, the society has a large influence..Sincerely. ...
by influence you mean lagbaja did it I must do it,tamedu did it I must do it to.ok na.keep living for society

Nkan toba so e na lomafibu e anyway wink
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:17am On Dec 07, 2015
grin
Omoswags:

hmmmm
If marriage is compulsory, then again, how about those that chose to be nuns?
Or how about the men? is it compulsory for them as well.
btw*** Your life, your rules. i don't think we are arguing that.
I'm just saying, marriage isn't compulsory for everybody. If it happens for you, good. If not, No p.

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by PresVA: 10:18am On Dec 07, 2015
SAMBARRY:
by influence you mean lagbaja did it I must do it,tamedu did it I must do it to.ok na.keep living for society

Nkan toba so e na lomafibu e anyway wink
grin grin grin I don't understand Yoruba madam and I didn't say I live for the society. ...

I said society one lives in influences one in one way or the other...That's just d truth...
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 10:26am On Dec 07, 2015
PresVA:
grin grin grin I don't understand Yoruba madam and I didn't say I live for the society. ...

I said society one lives in influences one in one way or the other...That's just d truth...
that is YOUR TRUTH my dear wink

Translation of what I said.you marry o them go abuse you,you no marry o,them go abuse you.you no born them go abuse you,you born too much wahala.so the people (society )you're living for is insatiable. They Must definitely say something unpleasant about you.so why don't you kuku follow rihanna's advice/principles

LIVE YOUR LIFE

You know your capabilities better than others,if you think you can marry and cope with the stress of the peculiarities of African marriages marry,if you think you don't want to don't marry.nobody will arrest you for that.shikena.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Swissheart(f): 10:36am On Dec 07, 2015
Different stroke for different folks. Apostle Paul said something abt that too.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Omoswags(m): 12:08pm On Dec 07, 2015
Swissheart:
Different stroke for different folks. Apostle Paul said something abt that too.
Right
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Isaacmacdon(m): 1:09pm On Dec 07, 2015
SAMBARRY:
ode! Single baby moms have already excused that. A woman can have her baby whenever she wants at the same time live the kind of life she wants too.story

Be that as it may op grin

Coughs grin

Have you worn your helmets and boxing gloves because they're coming for your head grin
mtchew!
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by SAMBARRY: 1:10pm On Dec 07, 2015
Isaacmacdon:
mtchew!
back to sender.double mshewwww
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by jashar(f): 1:36pm On Dec 07, 2015
if you like marry, if you like don't marry. Sha make heaven. Let you name be written in the Book Of Life.

Receive the life of Christ today and live as Christ lived.

Shalom

2 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Biim: 3:12pm On Dec 07, 2015
My opinion - Marriage is not for everyone and everyone must not get married, society should stop putting much pressure on people to get married. A lot of people get married because they have to not because they want to and most times they end up having irreconcilable issues which sometimes lead to unhappy homes and divorce.
Some people are single, happy and loving it while some are not vice versa for the married ones.
Some need companion, some don't and are totally fine being all by themselves.
The truth is; if most ladies are well to do like these female celebrities they wont get married and if some men had kids and baby mama's they wont get married.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by tobechi20(m): 5:13pm On Dec 07, 2015
marriage is a scam female use in handing over their responsibility to men in exchange for sex

1 Like

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Nobody: 5:39pm On Dec 07, 2015
tobechi20:
marriage is a scam female use in handing over their responsibility to men in exchange for sex
what? Some not all females.
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Funnyguy83: 6:53pm On Dec 07, 2015
tobechi20:
marriage is a scam female use in handing over their responsibility to men in exchange for sex
the main thing i wana say before u. Realy some female do o! Scam. There responsibility and sex.
Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by Nobody: 6:59pm On Dec 07, 2015
tobechi20:
marriage is a scam female use in handing over their responsibility to men in exchange for sex
Same scam a male use in transferring his domestic responsibilities to women in exchange for kids.

7 Likes

Re: Marriage Is Not Important -A Nairalander's Opinion On Marriage by LastProphet: 8:06pm On Dec 07, 2015
obinnashady:
Every woman must have a man,just like every other animal,marriage must happen else,human beings will go extinct b4 time.everyone needs a companion at a certain stage in life,no matter who u are,those women u are trying to vouch for are dying and crying their eyes out every other night for a husband,some of them are glorified wh*res,who made their money by sleeping with men.if marriage wasn't so important,why did funke jump into marriage knowing she's not the first wife.u think Genevieve doesn't want to marry?.oga think well,all these ladies are dying to have a husband.talking about the guys,they've not married cos they not gotten the right women,even @70 and above,a man's sperm is still super active unlike women who are hit with menopause at a certain 40+years.when u put all these together,u'll understand that men doesn't have much problem as par age compared to the women,who even age faster than men.

if you think all those ladies cry at night then you must still be in kindergarten, at least its clear you have never set foot outside Nigeria, travel a few times before coming back to this forum to talk.

1 Like

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