please how can i help my sister in her husband's house. Her husband is very hot tempered and beats her oftentimes. Sometimes she ends up in d hospital at other times she sustains. What can she do? should she go?

Is your sister a kid or handicapped that she can't make a choice whether to leave or remain with the beast?

sisiruthy: Sometimes she ends up in d hospital. What can she do? should she go?

Should she go? No! She should wait till the day when her trip to the hospital will be a one way trip.

sisiruthy: please how can i help my sister in her husband's house. Her husband is very hot tempered and beats her oftentimes. Sometimes she ends up in d hospital at other times she sustains. What can she do? should she go?

Has she come out to accept she has an abusive spouse
Do you have parents or in laws around
Do you have brothers who can step in

The key is her though

No, she should stay until she is stabbed 78 times like Titi Arowolo

Hhhhhmmmmm.....your sister has just one problem and d problem is herself, .....she doesnt know her worth, if not so, she wouldnt have decided to remain a punching bag of a man because she want to remain a "mrs". Now, get me well, im not an advcate of divorce, but when it comes to abuse(any form, especially physical abuse), i will say she should run, this doesnt need any questioning, beaten till she visit a hospital and you are still asking if she should go, oh! did you hear about Titilayo Arowolo sha, infact, i will suggest she get d man arrested....shior.....some women sha, better tell her to run, she might just run away for her life and if d man come begging, she can make d man to make a written vow not to ever beat or shout at her again, if he agrees to d terms and conditions, she can give him a second chance, but if he refuses, it means d man is not ready to give up d beatings any soon, therefore, she should run for her life, life is more important than marriage.
May God help us all.

slimyem: Is your sister a kid or handicapped that she can't make a choice whether to leave or remain with the beast?

she is a house wife,dat is the problem,so if she go who will take care of her kids

biolabee:
Has she come out to accept she has an abusive spouse
Do you have parents or in laws around
Do you have brothers who can step in

The key is her though

our parents are late,and we have 3 brother,one has died,the remanin 2,are outside the country

Your sister is in a bad situation. SHe does not have any income and pretty much no where to go. No support for domestic violence in Nigeria even makes the matter more difficult. Your sister needs help mostly financial to get her out of this situation. Can your brothers overseas help to get her a small place for her and the kids? Once she leaves does she have education or any skills that she will be able to gain employment with? I think your sister should leave and not stay but she should set herself up so once she leaves teh lure or appeal of going back to her abuser because of finances does not pull her back into the abusive enviornemnet. You seem to be cairing enough to have written this post try to help her the best you can so she can leave the situation asap. GL

OP has she come out to say she needs help

It is really frustratin to put in place measures and the person now says she is ok

As it stands, she may needs to leave ths house now so that her life is not further threatened and she can have a breather.

The next thing is for her is to work on a means of economic empowerment So she can stand on her own

Is there someone who can take the stead of a mediator to help with discussion with the husband.he may still see reason


Note Leaving the house is different from Leaving the marriage.

Divorce is not the only solution

If she has not asked for your help, its best you leave her alone. If they make up, you will become the enemy. Just let her know you are there for her should she need a place to stay or come to. But that would be the last time you will run to hospital the next time he beats her. Also call your brothers and ask one to come down with an uncle or respected relative to meet with the guy and his family. The guy sees she has no one tangible. She was probably married away with not a lot of family around that he can respect.He knows he can do what he likes and get away with it. If possible, she should avoid confrontational or provoking situations till she's able to find her feet.

You mean that sometimes she ends up in the hospital? Sometimes means not once not twice does she return from the hospital alive?The fact that she returns to get another beating has given the man more audacity to be playing football with her body.
I am sure that if you try thinking that you and your family may not be lucky for her to return from the hospital alive some day that you will spring into action quickly and go tell your parents to come save her from the bully of a man before he kills her for all ya.

your sister is obviously in an abusive relationship, here are ways to get out of them.



http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/03/how-to-get-out-ofan-abusive-relationship.html

obowunmi: No, she should stay until she is stabbed 78 times like Titi Arowolo

You understand?

sisiruthy: our parents are late,and we have 3 brother,one has died,the remanin 2,are outside the country

Aw-aw-aw-aw
I'm just seeing that your parents are no more, if you are the closest family around you still have to save her from that man. Involve any extended family member that have your interest at heart. She needs to get away from a man that sends her to the hospital with beating before she dies from that.

sisiruthy: she is a house wife,dat is the problem,so if she go who will take care of her kids

The bad news is that if anything happens to her, you may be the one taking care of those kids. You can ask your brother abroad to help with a little sum for her to start a little business or she can find a factory work and be independent from the man. If somebody is killing you slowly, do you keep returning to the person because the person feeds you. Shouldn't you find a way of feeding yourself so that you won't depend on such a person. Do you and your sister want to watch the woman beater waste her.

Call good hearted extended family members of yours, invite her husband's parents too. Raise alarm (or the ambulance will give you enough alarms if he beat her to death), make it a matter of great importance. The topic of the meeting should be to drum it into the man's ear that your sister was given to him to marry and not to beat down and that you and your sister have decided for her to get a rest from his beating until he decides that he is ready to marry her not beat her. Your opening this thread now shows that he beat her again very recently and i don't think that it's right for her to return to him for more beating without sorting out this issue seriously. (Yes you have a right to organize such meeting, it's your sister we are talking about).

CC, can i please have your email address i need to discuss something with you. Thanks!

Your sister is the ceo and chief security officer of her life,she has the final say.if she feels that her husbys dck is more important than her life,all well and good because what i have discovered is that many abused women are not always willing to help themselves when other well meaning people stretch out their hands of help.i worked briefly with an ngo during my youth service some years back and during my stay there,there was this woman who was always beaten blue black almost everyday by the husband.the husband will carry her and hit her head on the refrigerator that all the things on top of the refridgerator will fall on her head,carry her again,hit her severally on the wall,give her heavy punches wherever his fist touches in her body.he does this when he had a bad day at work or somebody annoyed him from outside.this man will now get home and take it on his house wife.this woman was dependeth on him for money for soup,money for hair and the general upkeep of the family so there was no where else to get help plus she couldnt go back to her parents because her parents had warnrd her severally before she married the man that she shouldnt marry the man and she still went ahead to.they told her that if she has any problem,she shouldnt come back to the house so her parents place was a no go area.her brother on the other hand will come with his friends on many occasions and will come and pack her things out of the house.this woman will still run back to him,so this our ngo came and set her up.they paid for her training to learn hair dressing and after she was skilled,they opened a hair dressing studio for her,also packed her things for her and rented a place far from her husband where she will stay and recuperate.this woman will still be secretly calling her husband on the phone and at the end of the day abandoned her shop and went back to the man.as i am talking one of my friends who stays around that man's area said she is still living with him and he is still beating her as usual and infact she is presently pregnant making it the fifth child.since then i dont interfere in any marital matter that has to do with violence.if the woman thinks that her marriage is more important than her life,she should sit there.as a matter of fact some people are already expecting her burial.if any woman is being abused in her marriage and i am capable of helping,i will not do anything except i know she is ready to help herself,even if he is beating her next to me,i will shift for them to continue,i wont seperate them because God gave every body a brain to be used and some people choose to be scape goats

where?

Wife beaters don't just change as a result of mere counselling, for them to stop they must be stopped. Shikena

princessmoi: where?

Click on madam CC's user name to view her profile, then go to the bottom of the page. Then click on send an e-mail. She wl get a notice about ur pm!!

Royal Roy:
Click on madam CC's user name to view her profile, then go to the bottom of the page. Then click on send an e-mail. She wl get a notice about ur pm!!

Thanks Royal boy. I've done that

Ivynwa:

You understand?



Aw-aw-aw-aw
I'm just seeing that your parents are no more, if you are the closest family around you still have to save her from that man. Involve any extended family member that have your interest at heart. She needs to get away from a man that sends her to the hospital with beating before she dies from that.


The bad news is that if anything happens to her, you may be the one taking care of those kids. You can ask your brother abroad to help with a little sum for her to start a little business or she can find a factory work and be independent from the man. If somebody is killing you slowly, do you keep returning to the person because the person feeds you. Shouldn't you find a way of feeding yourself so that you won't depend on such a person. Do you and your sister want to watch the woman beater waste her.

Call good hearted extended family members of yours, invite her husband's parents too. Raise alarm (or the ambulance will give you enough alarms if he beat her to death), make it a matter of great importance. The topic of the meeting should be to drum it into the man's ear that your sister was given to him to marry and not to beat down and that you and your sister have decided for her to get a rest from his beating until he decides that he is ready to marry her not beat her. Your opening this thread now shows that he beat her again very recently and i don't think that it's right for her to return to him for more beating without sorting out this issue seriously. (Yes you have a right to organize such meeting, it's your sister we are talking about).

chaircover: Pls send me a pm and i will get back to you

Ivynwa:

You understand?



Aw-aw-aw-aw
I'm just seeing that your parents are no more, if you are the closest family around you still have to save her from that man. Involve any extended family member that have your interest at heart. She needs to get away from a man that sends her to the hospital with beating before she dies from that.


The bad news is that if anything happens to her, you may be the one taking care of those kids. You can ask your brother abroad to help with a little sum for her to start a little business or she can find a factory work and be independent from the man. If somebody is killing you slowly, do you keep returning to the person because the person feeds you. Shouldn't you find a way of feeding yourself so that you won't depend on such a person. Do you and your sister want to watch the woman beater waste her.

Call good hearted extended family members of yours, invite her husband's parents too. Raise alarm (or the ambulance will give you enough alarms if he beat her to death), make it a matter of great importance. The topic of the meeting should be to drum it into the man's ear that your sister was given to him to marry and not to beat down and that you and your sister have decided for her to get a rest from his beating until he decides that he is ready to marry her not beat her. Your opening this thread now shows that he beat her again very recently and i don't think that it's right for her to return to him for more beating without sorting out this issue seriously. (Yes you have a right to organize such meeting, it's your sister we are talking about).

@chaircover ihav sent u pm

^^^^^ how's your sister and her husband?