Should I tell my best friend, his wife is cheating on Him?

Please do you think I should. I am having mixed feeling because i don't want to end up being the enemy.

mind your business.your friend will find out on his own, sooner or later.

oyb:

mind your business.your friend will find out on his own, sooner or later.

what if the friend never finds out in good time and the situation gets to a dangerous stage that could have been avoided if he had spoken up. While i agree with the poster not wanting to be the cause of a marriage breakdown, i still think he should speak up, obviously, it is a delicate situation that needs to be handled in a matured way.

Personally, the closeness of my friendship to my friend will determine my actions. Sometimes, not coming directly but giving subtle pointers to the wife's behaviour could speed up his curiosity. Confronting the wife is another option but is equally risky. At the end of the day, there are no winners

Write an anonymous detailed note and address it to your friend. That way you are on the safer side and it is left for the husband to do whatever with the info.

I'll rather suggest that you write the anonymous note to your friend's wife. Giving her the details of the info you have about her and warning her to desist from such acts or risk being exposed.

@Poster,
Don`t play with two-edged sword. The best thing you can do is 
                         to be praying for her.

reality4us:

I'll rather suggest that you write the anonymous note to your friend's wife. Giving her the details of the info you have about her and warning her to desist from such acts or risk being exposed.

This is not ideal as it may come back to haunt you. Moreover,she will change her tactics since she already know you know about her atrocity.

kola oloye:


@Poster,
Don`t play with two-edged sword. The best thing you can do is
to be praying for her.

Why should he waste his time and effort praying for a woman who derives pleasure in cheating? Or is it the devil at work?

@bluehorizo,
LUST is like a Virus, don`t also forget that Temptation is real
the best way to deal with it is Spiritually

one of the things most people fail to realise about infidelity is that at some level, the spouse is aware of what is happening.

it is often preferable not to know, because knowing means you will have to do something about it. it also means you have to confront all the reasons why it may have come about.
(contrary to popular nigerian opinion , women don't mess around solely because they are loose/devilish/demonic or whatever other adjective . its often because of neglect( at least according to the literature i've come across). when the hubby is out on biz 90% of thye time, and when at home, is always working or tired. . .)

i guess though, that in these days of AIDs maybe there is a case for letting the spouse know.

kola oloye:

@bluehorizo,
LUST is like a Virus, don`t also forget that Temptation is real
the best way to deal with it is Spiritually

How do you deal Spiritually with infidelity? Agreed that temptation is real. Does temptation lead you into eating the forbidden fruit continuously just because you have not been caught. I believe in self awareness.

oyb:

one of the things most people fail to realise about infidelity is that at some level, the spouse is aware of what is happening.

it is often preferable not to know, because knowing means you will have to do something about it. it also means you have to confront all the reasons why it may have come about.
(contrary to popular nigerian opinion , women don't mess around solely because they are loose/devilish/demonic or whatever other adjective . its often because of neglect( at least according to the literature i've come across). when the hubby is out on biz 90% of thye time, and when at home, is always working or tired. . .)

i guess though, that in these days of AIDs maybe there is a case for letting the spouse know.

Someone who derives pleasure in adultery can never be satisfied no matter the love,care,attention and sex will always go back to the trade. Be the man or the woman. Omo elepo atun igba e fo.

Poster, pls don't.

oyb:

one of the things most people fail to realise about infidelity is that at some level, the spouse is aware of what is happening.

it is often preferable not to know, because knowing means you will have to do something about it. it also means you have to confront all the reasons why it may have come about.
(contrary to popular nigerian opinion , women don't mess around solely because they are loose/devilish/demonic or whatever other adjective . its often because of neglect( at least according to the literature i've come across). when the hubby is out on biz 90% of thye time, and when at home, is always working or tired. . .)

i guess though, that in these days of AIDs maybe there is a case for letting the spouse know.

neglect as a cause of female infidelity will apply primarily to women who ordinarily would have been faithful to their spouses. Ditto physical or emotional cruelty, revenge for hubby cheating etc

but you have to take into account the harsh economy in Nigeria which sometimes drives women into transactional sex especially in the workplace.

again, women who used to be into aristo while in school or had sugar daddies as single girls often find it hard to adjust to their husband's modest income if they're unlucky not to land a rich husband. such women often cheat without qualms


finally, lets face it - women are just as prone to adultery as men nowadays. google 'paternity fraud' and you'll come away pretty shaken

I think you should. You should express your fears also. I would not be able to live with myself if I knew sucha thing and did not tell my best friend. You could also talk to his wife if you are cool with her and see what she says. A best friend is like family

Hmmmmm, This one is very difficult o !
It depends on how close you are to your friend . Is the wife aware that you know she is cheating on her husband ?

you should tell him. bros before hoes . the best way for u to do it is to confront him with evidence.

bawomolo:

you should tell him. bros before hoes . the best way for u to do it is to confront him with evidence.

What TYPE of evidence are we talking about here? Is it tape or camera recordings or pictures . Does the OP not have a job or his own life to live rather than following another person's spouse and playing private detective?, for what? 

@ Poster

There is nothing hidden under the Surface Of The Sun,

Sooner or later He will find out.

Imani:

What TYPE of evidence are we talking about here? Is it tape or camera recordings or pictures . Does the OP not have a job or his own life to live rather than following another person's spouse and playing private detective?, for what?

word !
OP mind your biz pls.let them live their lives their own way.its none of your biz,you didnt sign the dotted lines with them or exchange vows with any of them . . .you are an outsider,remain like that.

Thanks for your advise guys.

Nah which one concern you? 'KONKO JABELE'!!!

Try as much as possible to see how you can get concrete evidence before telling your friend because if your friend later find out that you know about it he wont be happy with you for not telling him.no matter what it will cause tell him if truly he is your friend.

@Poster - YES!

Whats your business She's his wife leave it b/w the both of them. Trust me, if you tell him, you'll regret it later.

I'll tell you a story of what happened to me. I introduced my cousin to a colleague of mine and the guy took interest in the girl and decided to marry her. He courted her for sometime and decided to seek my final opinion on the matter. As a good dear cousin and a faithful sister, I decided to tell her what I knew about the girl. Please note that it was never my intention to hurt either of them and God knows I would never have said a word if he hasnt sought my advise. I thought I was carrying out a responsibility to my cousin. I told him the part of the girl I knew she will definitely hide from him just to get him to the altar. But it was my own cousin that turned round at the end of the day to say I wanted to poisin his mind against he's fiancee!!!

He shuned me and went ahead to introduce her to our family as he's wife to be. Could you beleive that this girl left him for someone else and even as I'm saying this, he dosent know that he's so-called fiancee has fixed a traditional marriage with someone else. I'm going to be pretty stupid to be the one to tell him again.

Anyway, my point is that, when it comes to a man and a woman, just mind you business!! for your own good!!

Na so so amebo full ground for here

how did you know your best friends wife is cheating on him?

No, he may be your friend, but you've no business telling him what his wife gets up to.

Friends are seldom receptive of such interferrance.

If she's truly cheating, I'm sure your friend'll find out before long, without your help.

tip him off anonymously - telling him yourself may make you into an enemy in the end - the person seeking the couple's break up, especially if they do resolve it and decide to stick together. You will then become the guy who tried to break the home.

Just pass the information to him anonymously, that way, he can act like he doesn't know (if he doesn't want to deal with it) or take whatever actions he desires. In my experience, it never helps to get personally involved.

guy put ur mouth in ur pocket and zip it.abba you wan spoil another person marriage,abi u wan cause cata-cata.which one?leave the husband to catch her red handed by himself.afterall everyday is for the thief bt one day is for the owner.

There are times when people should mind their on business. . . this is one of those times.

All you people that are saying dont, this is his best friend were talking about

JayFK:

All you people that are saying don't, this is his best friend were talking about

right, what are friends for? tell the guy right away. waste no time

MIND UR BIZ JO!