It is a common phenomenon for a person to have had a long term relationship but what if the person doesnt get married to that same partner later in life,and he still talk about her to the present partner.
Can u call dat an obssession?
I discovered after 3 months of marriage,my hubby behaves somehow after having a chat wit his ex.He'll ignore talkin to me,decide to sleep alone etc.is it that he's still in luv wit ds lady? Fine...they were so much in love b4,d relationship lasted for 7 yrs but the lady had to move on snc my hubby wasnt ready 4 marriage then due to financial constraints and she said she cldnt wait.She now has 2 kids frm anoda man she's legally married to.what do u do in ds kinda situation?

Tell him how you feel about the whole thing.
May God help you.

Let your husband cut off this ex of his,I don't see why he should be speaking to her in the first place.Your husband is watering the ground for physical infidelity as he is in it emotionally already.Abeg,am not familiar with some kind of issues,don't know what to say without giving you a crazy idea.

byvan: Let your husband cut off this ex of his, I don't see why he should be speaking to her in the first place. Your husband is watering the ground for physical infidelity as he is it emotionally already.Abeg,am not familiar with some kind of issues,don't know what to say without giving you a crazy idea.

I don't too.
What do they have left to discuss..especially as she is married with kids too?

Op,you are the only one who can try to put a stop to this.
Ask him how comfortable he would be if you were the one communicating with an ex and acting up afterwards.
Does he want to go back to her?
Where is his respect for you and marital boundaries?
This is not the time to be all gentle and accepting about it o.Its real nonsense!
Talk it harsh and out!!

OP, you are staring at a brewing adulterous situation. Your husband is still in love with his ex and I dare to presume he feels much less for you. Its a recipe for disaster. The man's got no respect for you else he wouldn't still be talking with his ex! Your marriage is too young for the bull shyte. I fear when he talks with his ex, she is pretentiously bemoaning how terrible her current marriage is and wishing she hadn't left him. He then now wishes he hadn't met you, hence the brooding mood.You may talk with him, but if he's not really interested in your feelings, I fear you will be wasting your time and may incur his resentment. Sometimes, it takes competition to make people sit up. Two can play the game. Whatever you need to do to make your husband realise you are still very much desirable to the male folk, pls do. Right now he doesn't see you as good enough or even better than his ex. If he realises that other males see something good in you, he will have a rethink. Re-package or re-invent yourself and as someone suggested, try to become more than his ex ever was. And pray hard that he doesn't wake up one day and leave the marriage.

Tell me you didnt know this guy was still crazy about his ex when he married you. Well... If she decides she is not happy in her marriage, then your marriage may just be in trouble. Maybe you need to call a family meeting or something, and discuss the matter openly so he can be talked to. Dont let this problem go any longer. Invite his parents over and talk to them about what he has been up to. I wonder why people underestimate the power of love, and lie that there is no love. Well there is no love until the one you love is available. Please, forget that love grows matter. We all know where our heart truly is.

With personal experience,this situation is not an easy one,no amount of advice will stop this,because they usually have special connection beyond love connection,they might not have any s.e,x,ual plans or ideas,but they still have a veeeeeeeery serious bond,so my own advice is just let it flow,or try to make the two families come together sometimes for whatever,,,it could help,,,finally if u try to break this connection,u will never succeed

Hmnn

OP, lay down the law. It is either you or her. Let him choose. It is better to walk out if it is not workable now than to live a life of misery.

OK. ^That is my ruthless alter ego speaking. However, the truth is that certain kinds of 'love' are difficult to kick out of your system. Your husband might be in such a position. So, whilst laying down the law, let him know that you are his reality now and he has to let her go. If it is to call the other woman to beg her in the name of God to stop communicating with him as their conversations are threatening your marriage, do it.

Talk to her maturedly, you have a right to, she and your husband are the ones doing something wrong.

His love for the other woman is like a drug, he will suffer withdrawal effects if/when cut off. Patiently manage him until he recovers.