Dear Readers: Do women cause their men to hit them?

It’s been a month now, I was driving along Lekki phase II, and I saw a really troubling scene.

This handsome young man suddenly stops his car, with the tires screeching, he came over to the passenger’s seat, dragged supposedly his wife out (because I could see some kids at the back seat), and began beating her with his belt, when he got satisfied, he threw her back in the car and sped away.

I just kept wondering to myself, “What could have happened there, in the car, what exactly she said to make him act senile?”

Who is wrong here, is it the woman that talked and annoyed her husband, till he couldn’t take it anymore or the man that laid his hands on his wife?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

believe me, some men are just beasts... (Talking from experience). A man shldnt even hit his woman in d presence of d kids.. Doin tht alone in the presence of the kids shld tell u d man is simply a monster

There is no reason for a man to hit a woman, only a coward goes to hit someone who is defenseless, if your wife was taewondo trained and a black belter for real and she can beat you up, would you be quick to hit her?

Here are the signs that you might be in an abusive relationship.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/02/signs-of-abusive-relationship.html

Any man who hit his wife is a mad animal.

God forbid it happens to my enemy,my enemy will not go back to that house that day,that will mark the eno of that marriage,tufiaaa,if possible sef my enemy will charge him to court for assault

It is very easy to say a man should always control his temper but provocation is not a good thing.

^ you keep talking about provocation? Does it mean you can't control your temper? I ask you again, if your colleague or boss or even friend provokes you, would you go hitting them?

maclatunji: It is very easy to say a man should always control his temper but provocation is not a good thing.

Controlling your temper is what differentiates and human from an animal. We should learn to ignore things and walk away

zayhal: ^ you keep talking about provocation? Does it mean you can't control your temper? I ask you again, if your colleague or boss or even friend provokes you, would you go hitting them?

Excellent question! Hope he has the balls to respond.

@Post

A man or even woman who cannot control his or her temper should stay single. Violence is never the answer. What will you be teaching your kids when they see daddy hitting mummy or vice versa? This is why violence is so prevalent amongst Nigerians because as a people, we don't know how to dialogue effectively. All we know how to do is beat, beat and beat some more and then we wonder why there are so many Nigerians languishing in foreign prisons. We take that violent animalistic behavior to foreign countries forgetting that the rest of the world is not as undisciplined as we are.

Mynd_44:
Controlling your temper is what differentiates and human from an animal. We should learn to ignore things and walk away

Well said!

Women can be very annoying but a real man will never throw his hands no matter how angry he is.The best thing is just walk away before u throw your hands and sort things out when you are calm

zayhal: ^ you keep talking about provocation? Does it mean you can't control your temper? I ask you again, if your colleague or boss or even friend provokes you, would you go hitting them?

But the wife is not a colleague, she is not his boss, she is not his pally... She is suppose to be his wife, his soulmate and mother of his children .. Why can't such control heir tongue for Godsake! Am not saying beating the woman is the ideal thing... But saucy women should try and hold back their tongue, think before saying things that will provoke anger.. It's tough out there in the real world. As someone leaves his house in the morning heading to work, yur faced with so many scenarios and mind sets of pple, so naturally a wise person is always on guard, everyday going to work... After a hectic day or week, the man come back home, instead of having a peaceful moment in his own home, with his family... An ignorant wife will come up , starts nagging, giving out snide remarks... Is the home also a battle field?.... ..
I know how tired , I am when I come back from work, and how much I crave for peace at home... Trust me, d last thing I need is unnecessary behavior or snide or sarcastic remarks from anyone...I quietly do my duties,take my bath , relax , wait and welcome my hubby...

@victorian

What if it's your kids who provoke you after a long day at work? We all know how naughty kids can be. Would you still hit them because they provoke you?

@ zalhay, I don't hit or beat pple if they provoke me.. But if my kids provoke me, they should know me already with the calm, firm and stone look ,I will show to them...from day 1, I will train my kids to be well behaved, and if possible one of my kids is crying because the 2nd kid either , pushed or pinch him or her , as kids usually do... I will call the crying kid, pet him or her... Then stubborn one , will kneel down, raise hands up for an hr, with cane nearby. Trust kids, when they see cane nearby , common sense will tell them to behave...
So in order words, u don't walk away if yur kids is behaving troublesome... Neither do u beat them black, blue for them to adhere to your instructions...there is this saying spare the rod, and spoil the child.... But can women be taken or seen as children?... If that's how some women want to be seen as a child? ... No wonder their husbands or partners treat them like children..
That's for me o

@Zayhal, need I say more? Victorian, thank you for keeping it real. Sometimes people post on Nairaland as if they just arrived from Mars. There are thousands of men in jail who thought they could never hit their wives. Their wives are in the grave based on their misguided belief that their husbands would/could continually take emotional/verbal abuse without losing their temper.

When I was in primary school, we had a teacher called Mr. Dike, he was mild to a fault. Whenever he was in class, pupils would make noise and even disregard him. Mr. Dike would do nothing.

You can imagine our shock when we heard that Mr. Dike had lodged wood in the eye of a pupil whilst flogging her. There were teachers we dreaded, one delivered 100 strokes of the cane to several of my class mates on a particular day. He did not have to be queried over injuring a child.

It was mild and gentle Mr. Dike that faced such a predicament.

Lesson: Don't take people for granted or excessively toy with their emotions.

Thanks Mac, am realist... I put my self in the other person's shoe and ask if am the one, how I will feel? ......I respect pple alot at my place of work, my home environment and my home... I av never fought , rain abuses on anyone or even malicious backbiting , that will cause quarrel...everybody around me, know me as easygoing but firm...and it works for me..there's peace at home and at work..... God, I thank you.

victorian: Thanks Mac, am realist... I put my self in the other person's shoe and ask if am the one, how I will feel? ......I respect pple alot at my place of work, my home environment and my home... I av never fought , rain abuses on anyone or even malicious backbiting , that will cause quarrel...everybody around me, know me as easygoing but firm...and it works for me..there's peace at home and at work..... God, I thank you.

All I can say is that you have figured-out a simple rule that will save a lot of people from trouble if they follow it. If a man beats-up his wife- that is a crime but we have to ask if the wife is not accessory to that crime with her actions. If she isn't, fair enough but if she is, she needs to change.

I guess the man can get away with snide remarks on his wife because he is the man right??God,don't let me come back to this world again as a woman,please Dear God.

Honestly, some women provoke for no reason at all. They should also realise that a man is human as well. Like when pregnant, on their period or just having a bad day. Women are not very good at controlling themselves even in the work place. To have a woman boss is the worst, they carry their problems everywhere and lash out. Lmao. I think everyone should respect each other, husband and wife. And should your wife provoke you to the level that you feel like constantly killing her or you are pushed to beat her, then its time to call it quits with her. Such a woman is not good for the mental health. Let's be real. Some women play an active role and some love the abuse. We all know our other's limits and we all know things not to say that will make them temporarily go insane. Just to hurt the guy, they will push those buttons in the worst way. Especially infront of their kids, if the guy reacts in the worst way, well... I think the ones that like the beatings are sick and so are the men that attack their wives at the slightest instance or for issues that could be ignored. I do agree that some women go too far, and its human nature to react to certain things in ways that you yourself wouldn't have predicted.

^Summary that makes sense, we are not in a fairy tale world, people should be real. I don't want to believe that the woman I will marry will deliberately say things to hurt me as much as I don't want to think I can hit her. Either way is hurtful and should be avoided.

@victorian
Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying any woman should want to be seen as a child. I brought up the examples of kids, friends etc just to say it could be anybody causing the provocation. What is important is for an individual to always put his/her emotions in check and not allow anyone make them do the worst when provoked only to start regretting it later. Most of the men who beat their wives face equal or worse provocation elsewhere, yet they know how to manage the situation. It's all a matter of mindset.

Blah blah blah! Be real and stop beating bout the bush jare!

I do not advocate for abusive relationships BUT Maybe there'd be less violence in marriages if people get real for once!

Survival instincts; if anybody pose any threat to the other , you defend yourself, it's only in Nigeria I heard men must be different in nature when it comes to fighting back, are they not humans too? Let every female learn to culture their dirty mouth and know when not to say snide remarks, mock nor hit another gender ( including your hubby) ,
don't be surprised when you get a fiery whack on your face at point of provocation cos he ain't born mumu and everybody ain't born a meek !

Tio ba Nidi obinrin on ję kumolu ( every action has a valid reason)

I trained my girls to treat others how they want to be treated and they shouldn't expect leniency from opposite gender and cry foul as a weaker sex!

Ile la tin ko eso r'ode ( reflection of good home training shows in every being)

to'moe k'ole fun e ni'sinmi ( train your child to give you rest of mind)

Most women want equality yet they behave like animals themselves.

My cousin called me from the airport in 2010 , I was at work, I was surprised cos I wasn't expecting him( at least not alone?).... I picked him up and he bursted into tears on our way to have a drink... what's up bro? He started his story bout how his wife locks his shirt every time they have argument, he said he didn't want to commit murder/ manslaughter and that's why crossing the Red Sea for a break is his best option for now.
I enrolled the guy with a shrink before his departure back home.

Eemo pembe ibinrin k'unta
( ašš hôles women out there)


# Baba Oyo pls feel free to correct my errors

Double post