How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by dammytosh: 3:38pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Change your friends. 8 years is too much for you not to have gotten over him. Look forward and forget about the past. It is not as easy as it sounds but you have to help yourself. If possible, re-marry. Life goes on. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by ceospecial(m): 3:50pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
@ops! Google bro! GOOGLE! Dis site is not a SEARCH ENGINE! Bewarned!  |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 3:58pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Love the LORD your God with all your hearth, soul, mind, strength and being. He is a Great Comforter and will see you through and guide your path. Jah Live  |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by oluchikeh(f): 4:02pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Hello Dear, sorry on your loss, for me its been 8years too(2005) and I am current 31 and remarried Even with a partner i still feel some of the pain especially when my hubby hurts me but in truth yu really need to move on. you need someone else. You will never be able to truly/really/totally forget him especially if he was a first like me, but you'll do just fine and move on God be with you my dear 1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 4:03pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Fejok01: I decided to bring this here to seek counsel.Am below 40years old.I lost my spouse about 8years ago and i seem not to be able to overcome.I talk,smile,go to work etc but within me is deep pain and sorrow.I've thought of seeing a psychologist but decided to seek counsel here first.Pls waiting for your replies. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 4:05pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Fejok01: I decided to bring this here to seek counsel.Am below 40years old.I lost my spouse about 8years ago and i seem not to be able to overcome.I talk,smile,go to work etc but within me is deep pain and sorrow.I've thought of seeing a psychologist but decided to seek counsel here first.Pls waiting for your replies.I AM SURPRISED U DECLINED THE HELP OF A PSYCHOLOGIST ONLY TO SEEK THE COUNSEL OF PEOPLE WHO NEED A PSYCHOLOGIST I HOPE U GET WHAT U CAME 2 SEEK  1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 4:09pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Op, may The Lord give you the strength to live and move on... First u need to pray to God about healing of the heart, mind and soul for at least 7days.. Then u need to listen and understand more , messages of The Lord, either during church service or reading on yur own..then third, u need new friends, u av to relocate to somewherelse. It's tasking , very tasking... But u must relocate from that house , uv shared fond memories with yur beloved husband... U need a breath of fresh air. Also change church, where people know both of u, as a couple... As the months run by, u will meet new friends that will make u laugh and smile once again.... But be careful , don't overly trust like that.. Then lastly continue talking to God, and yur kids if u av...but first make up your mind to move on...it's well with your soul, mind and body... May the spirit of the living God give you total healing and upliftment.. Amen. Be strong , for yourself and your future. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 4:19pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
When I lost my mum, I had to move out of the house after one year... Cause I was always crying anytime I enter her room.. I couldn't just forget how she died on my arms, her life slipping away and I was screaming for help. It's a very very sad chapter of my life..I became so engrossed in hearing preachings more and praying more.... I also changed church,. Since av relocated...little by little, the pain eased off... and i had to accept that its the will of God...i thank God I av siblings... We will crack jokes of her funny side sum times, and I av new friends, who are blessing in my life , with good words.. Bad friends or sarcastic friend? I will simply withdraw and cut off contacts... So u need to be ready for that change to come...when I remember my mum most times, I just sigh and pray for her soul... It's well.. The Lord will lead u, just open up to Him and talk to Him... Cry if u must, cause its healthy to cry.. Take heart. The Lord be with you. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by BrandNu(m): 4:20pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Its never easy to move on...but its a DECISION you alone can make. Physical and Emotional memoirs are the most difficult to let go off but you need to FOR THE FUTURE. Anything you keep as a memoir ( Ring, old gifts, cloths....) from your past tends to replay old scenes whenever you see or touch them. You are actually trying to give life to a still actor without a role. You need to give room to actors that can play future roles in your life... Try to get rid of old memoirs, not all, but its a start.. Also try to stop replaying old memories of what could have been. Don't blame yourself or anyone, try to take responsibility of your future because YOU are who YOU are waiting for. I'm also happy you've found a lil comfort in church. Solely depend on Christ for this.. All the best, you can achieve it...you deserve that CHANGE You can also try this book - BEFORE YOU DO by TD JAKES |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by maclatunji: 4:20pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Fejok01: @Slimyem,thanks.I kind of get weary of men even the ones in the church.Maybe i need a new circle of friends. Madam, you need to have a new husband. No need for long stories. The only thing is that you should look before you leap. May God be with you and your children. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Temismith(f): 4:23pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Hmmmmm! I can only imagine all u have said.. I feel ur pain ma'am. Most of d comments before dis just said it all. I wish u all d best as u decide which is best for u. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by deelobe: 4:28pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
It's easier said than done. It's easy to give counsel when you have not gone through something.. I have a loved one whose spouse passed recently and I feel the pain as though am the done. You didn't say whether you are male or female but from the length of time I can guess you are a lady. It's rare to see a man remain in this state for long.. It is only God that can comfort you, give you a direction by sending the right people to you. That's what you should pray about. It's a tough journey. When I look this loved one of mine. I can only say Lord strengthen her. I pray for you that God will bring helpers to you because at a time like this people try to take advantage of you if you are not careful especially if you are a lady. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
I feel you sis. For some, love is a once in a life time thing. But then, you might not have gotten the best yet. If you want a shot at the life you remember so well with a loved one, then love yourself enough to create an atmosphere for someone to come share/live it with you. Indulge yourself and pamper yourself silly, let go of him by taking up activities that are time consuming and emotional too. - Join a dance school. So exhilarating - Volunteer at a motherless babies home. Those little wonders are unbelievably happiness spreaders. _ Pretty up. Clothes, shoes...the whole nine yards. Heavenly! In no time, your life will be filled up and your heart too will be busting with love for many people deserving. Good luck. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by TableLeg(m): 4:37pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
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| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by yuzedo: 4:43pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
M M M: OpBro, i like you, but not cool. @OP: Sorry for your loss. Children? How old are they? Is remarrying an option? Not like the aim is to replace late hubby, just asking. Really saddened by the tone of this post. Pray you find strength and peace. Bless you. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by dddaaayyyooo(m): 4:51pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Get some1 else, That's all (28cf0512) |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by thorpido(m): 5:57pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Fejok01: @Slimyem,thanks.I kind of get weary of men even the ones in the church.Maybe i need a new circle of friends.Sis,I think deep down now,this is the major issue.It's your inability to get hooked up. You didn't say if you have kids or not,but I think you need to make yourself open to a new relationship.There's no doubt you still feel the pain of the loss but I think what you need is an overcomer(new man). Consider what others have said about a change of environment and a new circle of friends. 1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Fejok01(f): 6:02pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
A big thank you to everyone.Differnt solutions to one challenge,good.I'll try to take one step at a time.God bless you all. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by tunde1200(m): 6:45pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Keneking: Anyway, it really depends on the circumstance leading to the death of your spouse. Death can be painful but one has to move on. This post will be ok if you can try all these. But most important is for you look for a person to love. If you don't do it fast it may result to another thing, because to loose huby or wife the remaining one is half dead please God will heal the wound in your heart there is still reasonable men out there. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by ngmart(m): 6:45pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Go and look for Jehovah witness awake ... how to overcome you lost love one |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by alfaman2: 6:49pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Marry another one. No one lives forever. Life goes on. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by maclatunji: 6:53pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
alfaman2: Marry another one. No one lives forever. Life goes on. True. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by scobaba: 7:10pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
ceospecial: @ops! Google bro! GOOGLE! Dis site is not a SEARCH ENGINE! Bewarned!. U r 15 or 16. If u r above 20........I cry for u. 1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by chucky234(m): 7:20pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
midetinz: what u need is a practical solution. Marry another wife but be very careful not to make a wrong choice. a right choice of a second spouse will surely boost ur moraleOP na woman na, abi you no dey see for daytime,see wetin too much Ijebu garri dey cause for your eyes. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by chucky234(m): 7:22pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
alfaman2: Marry another one. No one lives forever. Life goes on.If you no get any advice to give her then park well for corner,she say make you suggest how she go take re-marry abi how she go take forget her love wey don kpeme since 8 years? |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by thorpido(m): 7:34pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
maclatunji:No be say she no go marry.The first hurdle na make she get man wey dey.Man no dey now,abi u get matured friends wey dey single? |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Orikinla(m): 7:46pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Only God the maker and owner of life knows the true value of life and He alone truly knows the depth of the loss of every life and therefore He alone can comfort the bereaved. So, turn to Him and trust Him absolutely to give the bereaved the fortitude to bear and overcome the loss. |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by Guliver(m): 8:17pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Dis kids dnt know wat t take 2 loss a luv one especially if t ur hubby or wife.wen mine happen last year,I thought. D end has come.even a year after am yet 2 come 2 term wit d reality dat she s no more.especially wen my daughter ask me 'daddy were s my mummy' |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by webguru(m): 9:12pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Ok.. Sweetheart , 8 yrs? U strong. Glaf u havent committed suicide but have you sought counselling from ur pastor. Visited groups or ngos that help wt loss of loved ones? im in a group run by someone who list his wife in d dana crash. Cld invite u. Send me a mail at me at segebee.com Id advice u accept he's gone forever and u will see him after death. And that he'd want u happy nt depressed. Trust me u being sad only makes him sad wherever he.is. Deepen ur relationship wt d Lord. Get to know Him personally. Worship and praise. Dont resent Him cos u lost ur husband. Bombard urself wt gospel music only... Sinach,frank edwards etc Get heavily involved in church groups and activities. Usherin, choir, sunday skl, charity etc. places u can give luv and make impact. That will keep u busy. Visitation unit is cool too. Learn from pple in church who have gone thru wat u facing. Change churches if u aint feelin ur church. Id suggest daystar, awesome Choir or my church, foursquare. Sweetheart we are dust,leavin on borrowed tym, make impact while u can, leave d past. You can always mail me. I love u bt Jesus loves u so much more. Oya shine ya 32 1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by chucky234(m): 9:16pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Babzilla:Psychologist get seven heads? Oloshi 1 Like |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by nat138: 9:27pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
Poster please go through this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower#562123 It is so sad that someone brings up such a sensitive issue here and some not so smart people choose to show their stupidity. I wonder what the moderators on this section are doing? Why have you people (moderators) allowed the family section to degenerate to such an extent that every riffraff comes and spills his/her stupidity here? This used to be one of the most respected section on this forum. Mods please wake up and if the responsibilities are beyond you, solicit help from Seun or go through whatever procedure you people go through in order to maintain sanity here. Many thanks, |
| Re: How Can You Overcome The Death Of A Spouse? by whitemosquito(f): 10:21pm On Apr 10, 2013 |
yuzedo:Hmm!This is the first thing uv said that is non sexist since Iv known u! @op. You shud take up webguru's offer. Sounds like what u need- opportunity to bare ur heart to ppl who can truly understand and sympathize wit u + lots of single and available men who've been in ur shoes and have moved on or r learning to. Lol. My heart goes out to u, dear. Now, im wondering if its really true that time heals all wounds..... @webguru, is der a similar group for heart broken and emotionally scarred singles? 1 Like |
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