THE NEGATIVE ASPECT OF RESPECT IN AFRICAN CULTURE
Abdulrazaq O Hamzat
Discus4now@yahoo.com

Africa as a continent is blessed beyond measure by every standard, both in terms of human capacity, natural resources and cultural richness, but as they say, everything in life has both positive and negative effects.
Talking about the African Culture, we are endowed with the best form of cultural inheritance, beautiful traditional ways of life and lovely interpersonal relationship which is worthy of being proud of, and if properly understood and applied in this 21st century, it could go a long way in helping the motherland attain its rightful place.
However, the African culture also has its negative effects, and the one aspect I would like to dwell on in this write up is ‘’respect for elders’’.
Respect they say is reciprocal, but to me, it may not be, provided the person you are respecting would not disrespect you in return. Even if he or she would not respect you in case they are elderly, at least, let there be no disrespect of person. As a Yoruba proverb in Nigeria says, omode ni ise, agba ni ise ni a fi da ile aye, which means that, both the young and old have roles in the creation of the earth.
As a Yoruba person and indeed an African, unquestionable respect for elders is a fundamental feature of our culture, which every child was born, taught and grows up with.
It is already part of us and so shall it be, but in my opinion, the unquestionable respect explains the reason why Nigeria and indeed Africa remain backward. Why did I say so?
When the elderly person is doing things wrongly, things that are destroying or capable of destroying both the old and the young, both the present and future generations, the young is expected not to question that action even though he or she would be affected in the consequences of the wrong actions of the elder/leaders.
Irrespective of how mannered and respectful a young person faulted the wrong actions of the elder/leaders, such young person would always be accused of rudeness, arrogance and disrespect. The substance of the issue raised would be rubbished and personal ego would override, forcing the young person to keep quiet and never contributing to any issues of public interest ever again.
The result of such situation is the backwardness seen all over Nigeria/ Africa, where the elders/leaders continuously do things wrongly, but the youths are said to be too young to take part, or when allowed to take part, are expected to just keep quite when things are going wrong, or speak only when they are told to do so. Any youth that acted outside this box would be regarded as lacking respect and rude to elders, but I have resolved never to keep quite in such situation anymore and I urge the entire African youths to wake up from their slumber, especially when things are going wrong, even if it means being called all sort of names and accused of being rude, disrespectful and other names which i am certain does not apply to us.
I have resolved to do everything required to make Nigeria and indeed Africa attain its rightful position among the comity of nations, by enjoying both old and young to do what is good and to avoid the wrong once.
The consequences of keeping quite over the years is that, many beautiful minds from Nigeria and Africa run abroad to a better environment where they can actually be heard, a land said to be of no respect for elders, yet working.
Many youths, even older people today in Nigeria/ Africa see going abroad as a special blessing, something they even dedicate a special prayer for in churches and mosques, when in reality, there is no any special blessing abroad, except the blessing we take there ourselves.
So I ask, why would a land, where unquestionable respect for elders hold no water be working, yet the land where unquestionable respect for elders reign supreme would not?
I believe the difference is simple, over there, where people here run to for security and greener pasture, issues are weighed over persons. Irrespective of your age and position, when you are wrong, a younger person can fault your position and both can agree with substance. The elders/leaders don’t feel too old to be wrong; neither do they feel too knowledgeable to be corrected by younger people. The old carefully consider the points of the young and agree where necessary. In case there is mix up, or issues of uncertainty, they go back to review their position to identify the missing point and correct it.
However, It is such a regret that even though some people had gone abroad, experienced the outcome of such inter relationship between the old and the young which is a good and progressive atmosphere, they enjoy the benefit of the togetherness of both old and young, they still come back home to supress the voice of the young, under the guise of age, calling them all sort of name for speaking out on issues affecting their persons and nations.
It is worth to note that, I am not advocating disrespect to elders in anyway, neither do I encourage rudeness or other negative ways of approaching issues when relating with elderly people. In fact, I enjoy youths to employ the best form of words in talking to them, be humble and calm, respectful and mannered, but I believe the elders have a major role to help the youth base issue on substance not persons.
When the elders continually do things wrongly and the youth has employed all form of gentle approach so as not to sound disrespecting and rude with no any changes, yet the actions of the elders continues to have negative effect on our collective interest, the youths that want to put a stop to that action would therefore have no other means than to speak out in whatever manner he deem fit to stop the negativities.
It is worthy to also note that, the African culture placed the elderly in a very strategic position of being the custodian of truth, morality, manners, sincerity, guidance, good examples and more like a deity worthy of a mini god. This explains why the culture mandated it on younger people to always respect the elders no matter what, as they have once been in the position of the youth, went through what the youths are presently going through and are in the better position to address the issues of concern, though, some issues require time and serious effort, but unfortunately today, most African elders have departed from their duties and virtue such as truthfulness, morality, manners, sincerity, good example which gained them the right of unquestionable respect, they today symbolize more of a destroyer rather than a builder of the society.
I thereby urge the African elders/leaders to improve their listening hears, morality, sincerity and serve as a good example to avoid being addressed in what they assume to be rude and disrespecting.

1.Man those people have fancy cloths and gadgets!
2.Hmm... I notice they worship this jesus christ fellow and other people who don't worship the jesus don't have da fancy
3.I got it ...I'll worship this jesus fellow so I can also have fancy cloths and gadgets!

-Correlation vs. Causation

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zyruPbgxyM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbODqslc4Tg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B271L3NtAw

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Too long a write up with little or no paragraphing.I no read am,commenting solely based on topic.

When a child begins to question the wisdom of gray hairs,he would not live to get one.If you think the elders are stooopid wait till you get old . . .

ifyalways: Too long a write up with little or no paragraphing.I no read am,commenting solely based on topic.

When a child begins to question the wisdom of gray hairs,he would not live to get one.If you think the elders are stooopid wait till you get old . . .

I agree it was quite long and I struggled to read it myself. I don't think the write is saying that older people are not wise. I think his argument is that both groups can learn from each other. No one knows it all and there are somethings that the younger generation can teach the older generation and the reverse is definitely true but what happens with our culture is that the older people do not think the younger ones have anything "wise" to contribute and when young people try to make suggestions/give their input, it is seen as a sign of disrespect. According to the OP, this is one of the reasons why we are not developing because the older people are "messing up" and are not ready to listen to the youth whom he believes, have a lot to contribute. (I hope I kinda summarized the writer's argument correctly)

At the topic, I kinda agree with this respect issue but I have to say that there are ways of going about it. Let's admit that there are times when we younger folk think we know it all and want to show off in a disrespectful manner. In that case, we are to blame. We need to understand how our culture works and work with it. I can't count the number of times where I have suggested something to older people and they have listened or agreed with me. It's a matter of how you communicate. I also think that the older generation is beginning to realize that things are changing and we the youth know a lot more in certain areas.

I won't also ignore the fact that there are some people who just believe that no one knows more than they do. Examples are lectures and other professionals (Doctors, Engineers etc). I don't think this is beyond respect and more like a thing of pride. It's the idea that I have achieved a lot and I have a title, therefore, I should be addressed in a particular way. That is just a crazy mentality that we have regardless of age.