During my study in psychology I made a personal research on the function of the parents in the family. This research made me discover something deeper than you would imagine. Here is a brief summary of my finding:

The mother: Her relationships with her kids are more physical; she carries them in the womb for nine months, beast feeds them, bath them, feed them etc. All these makes her your mother, and a child’s life long interaction with the mother is based on these.

This form of relationship when healthy helps build the child’s self-awareness and provides the child a healthy feeling of belonging. It helps the child set future goals at a young age and knows where she/he is heading to. This is when the child can confidently say, I want to be a doctor with determination. The mother’s relationship is more of a learning thing. The child, through this, can discern wrong from right, good and bad, dos and donts. It also helps the child discover the kind of person he/she is i.e. personality traits, desires, introvert/extrovert, external/internal locus of control etc. mother-child relationship also makes the child love his/her world and in turn it makes him/her feel loved.

The father: His relationships with the kids are psychological; he only knows they are his children based on awareness. The physical contact is minimal; therefore he shares something more internal with them. This relationship is all in the brain.

This relationship if healthy helps the child in building a high self-esteem, self-worth, healthy need to achieve and a healthy feeling of self love. The fathers-child relationship helps the child build strong desire to achieve goals set out as a result of healthy relationship with the mother. Such child tends to control his/her world and is not easily swayed by external information that is contrary to belief. He/she is not afraid of authority figures but will have respect for them. The child most times ends up being a leader. The intelligent quotient of a child with healthy father relationship tends to be much higher than his/her counterpart.

Generally a combination of both relationship helps build a friendlier child, less promiscuous child, more determined child and reasonable child.

Some facts to note:
1. Mother-child relationship makes the child love his/her world; father-child relationship elicits self love.
2. Father-child relationship is extremely important, but seriously lacking in our environment. Mother-child relationship is more common and often over rated.
3. Father-child relationship is usually more effective and much more important for the girl child (father-daughter relationship)
4. The girl child learns more by observing and listening, while the male child learns more by experience (he is a bad listener).
5. It is better to have a problematic male child than a problematic girl child. The former is more likely to change than the latter.
6. Personality traits must be taken into cognizance in child upbringing.
7. It is much better to build a relationship with your children than to see their upbringing as a training activity.
8. Nothing is a guarantee in child upbringing, humans have a way of coming up with surprises.

Please note that these are my personal finding and are therefore subject to criticism.

pls feel free to ask any question

frank3.16:

Some facts to note:
1. Mother-child relationship makes the child love his/her world; father-child relationship elicits self love.

Can you expatiate on how you came to this conclusion?

2. Father-child relationship is extremely important, but seriously lacking in our environment. Mother-child relationship is more common and often over rated.

I agree with the bolded. Many people still believe that fathers have to be stern and aloof in order to show their authority as the head of the house. Very silly way of thinking if you ask me.

3. Father-child relationship is usually more effective and much more important for the girl child (father-daughter relationship)

Not in all cases, the mother might turn out to be the better parent for the daughter than the father. She might heve better parenting skills for instance, and in a situation like that, her relationship with the daughter would be more effective towards ensuring proper upbringing for the girl.

4. The girl child learns more by observing and listening, while the male child learns more by experience (he is a bad listener).

Where did you get this from? Not all male children are bad listeners.

5. It is better to have a problematic male child than a problematic girl child. The former is more likely to change than the latter.

HOW?!?!!?