Before now, being a member of a government committee meant sacrificing your time for a task that comes with hard work with little financial compensation, today the situation is different. Ever since our fedora hat wearing president came into power we have been practising committocracy (government of the committee by the committee and for the committee members). You really don”t have to do any serious work, all you have to do is to show up at the venue of the committee sitting and wait for your bank to send your sitting allowance alert sms. Your committee will be allocated a certain period of time to work and submit a final report, just show up at the committee hearings everyday and you are even free to doze off when the proceedings becomes too boring.

You can”t stay in your village and expect to be appointed to head a committee by the “oga at the top”. You have to go to Abuja and join your fellow “distinguished” nigerians to lobby for the position. When you are in Abuja, check into the Transcorp hilton hotel and lodge there (don”t say you don”t have money to pay for the luxury rooms, you can borrow from friends, when you are appointed to a head a committee you will always pay them back). That is where the power brokers go to chill off, hold their meetings and events and where you will have to strike an acquaintance with some of them. Also move around the posh and high brow areas of Maitama and Asokoro, you will find many of them here. If everything works according to plan, you will find someone who will lobby for you and ensure that your name gets pushed up to the “oga at the top”and you will finally a slot in the next committee that will be formed.

Now that you have been appointed to head the committee your mission has been accomplished. At the end the period assigned for your deliberations your committee will have to submit a white paper where you present your findings and recommendations to the government. You and your committee members know deep within yourselves that you have not really been doing the job well, so what are you going to submit?.....Don”t panic, you can pay someone to write a report full of technical jargon (Govt officials do not bother to read reports talkless of acting on them, as soon as they come in they are promptly filed away or swept under the carpet) or you can submit an empty sheet of paper as your final report. Its no big deal because another committee will be quickly set up to investigate the “remote and immediate causes” behind your empty sheet report. With luck, you can be even be appointed as a member of the new committee...Now your committee membership career is blooming.

Inik:
Before now, being a member of a government committee meant sacrificing your time for a task that comes with hard work with little financial compensation, today the situation is different. Ever since our fedora hat wearing president came into power we have been practising committocracy (government of the committee by the committee and for the committee members). You really don”t have to do any serious work, all you have to do is to show up at the venue of the committee sitting and wait for your bank to send your sitting allowance alert sms. Your committee will be allocated a certain period of time to work and submit a final report, just show up at the committee hearings everyday and you are even free to doze off when the proceedings becomes too boring.

You can”t stay in your village and expect to be appointed to head a committee by the “oga at the top”. You have to go to Abuja and join your fellow “distinguished” nigerians to lobby for the position. When you are in Abuja, check into the Transcorp hilton hotel and lodge there (don”t say you don”t have money to pay for the luxury rooms, you can borrow from friends, when you are appointed to a head a committee you will always pay them back). That is where the power brokers go to chill off, hold their meetings and events and where you will have to strike an acquaintance with some of them. Also move around the posh and high brow areas of Maitama and Asokoro, you will find many of them here. If everything works according to plan, you will find someone who will lobby for you and ensure that your name gets pushed up to the “oga at the top”and you will finally a slot in the next committee that will be formed.

Now that you have been appointed to head the committee your mission has been accomplished. At the end the period assigned for your deliberations your committee will have to submit a white paper where you present your findings and recommendations to the government. You and your committee members know deep within yourselves that you have not really been doing the job well, so what are you going to submit?.....Don”t panic, you can pay someone to write a report full of technical jargon (Govt officials do not bother to read reports talkless of acting on them, as soon as they come in they are promptly filed away or swept under the carpet) or you can submit an empty sheet of paper as your final report. Its no big deal because another committee will be quickly set up to investigate the “remote and immediate causes” behind your empty sheet report. With luck, you can be even be appointed as a member of the new committee...Now your committee membership career is blooming.

Like how much i fit make, you go fit link me because e be like say u know the matter well well o

superior1:

Like how much i fit make, you go fit link me because e be like say u know the matter well well o

Lol i am just an outside observer

Inik:
Lol i am just an outside observer

Too bad, I was hoping i can get a position in cassava bread committee, i did cassava farming for about 2 decades i was staying in the village. I get plenty plenty experience, are you sure you cant link me??, we will share the committee allowee 60-40.

I heard universities are now offering courses on commitology

superior1:

Too bad, I was hoping i can get a position in cassava bread committee, i did cassava farming for about 2 decades i was staying in the village. I get plenty plenty experience, are you sure you cant link me??, we will share the committee allowee 60-40.

In that case i'll see what i can do. Exercise some patience, the government is presently busy with the composition of the boko haram amnesty committee. By next week things will have returned to normal and more committees will be formed. I will send in a proposal and hopefully a cassava bread committee will be formed

Inik:

In that case i'll see what i can do. Exercise some patience, the government is presently busy with the composition of the boko haram amnesty committee. By next week things will have returned to normal and more committees will be formed. I will send in a proposal and hopefully a cassava bread committee will be formed

Opee ooo, dem go take by the time i return to the village, i will from cassava bread committee recommend cassava bread mobilization committee and from that cassava committee review committee. By the time the shoe-less man leaves presidency, i for don build like 10 houses for my village. Abeg Inik, i will be waiting, no disappoint me ooo

Obiagelli: I heard universities are now offering courses on commitology

They are using the new curriculum

superior1:

Opee ooo, dem go take by the time i return to the village, i will from cassava bread committee recommend cassava bread mobilization committee and from that cassava committee review committee. By the time the shoe-less man leaves presidency, i for don build like 10 houses for my village. Abeg Inik, i will be waiting, no disappoint me ooo

10 houses? Efcc dey on ground o