keeked:

what makes me keep going back?

- he is my first love ( i don't mean to sound corny), my first serious relationship.
- my fear that i can't get a better man (he's a really good guy)
- i lost my virginity to him.( before i met him, i was one of those 'no sex before marriage' people, now that i have given 'it' up to him and he's acting up, the thought of the potential trial and errors in the near future saddens me)
- my optimism (my hope that things can go back to how they were)

i can go on and on

the worst feeling is knowing the love you have for someone is not being reciprocated anymore.
As per the emotional manipulation part of your post, that is my fear. it's so glaring that i'm way into him more than he is into me. It even get me angry sometimes but oh well

Thanks.

keeked:

what makes me keep going back?

- he is my first love ( i don't mean to sound corny), my first serious relationship.
- my fear that i can't get a better man (he's a really good guy)
- i lost my virginity to him.( before i met him, i was one of those 'no sex before marriage' people, now that i have given 'it' up to him and he's acting up, the thought of the potential trial and errors in the near future saddens me)
- my optimism (my hope that things can go back to how they were)

i can go on and on

the worst feeling is knowing the love you have for someone is not being reciprocated anymore.
As per the emotional manipulation part of your post, that is my fear. it's so glaring that i'm way into him more than he is into me. It even get me angry sometimes but oh well

Thanks.

butta: I will suggest you move on with your life he is not into you anymore..it is normal for ladies to be emotional attached to guys espcially their first love and him being the one that dis...virgined you.. The honest truth is he has found someone new that interest him and you have to let go sooner the better for you and deal with it. Women should realise that when a man has gotten all he wants from a woman especially that thingy underneath. He has seen all there is to see about you after this nothing excites him anymore about you some tend to start to withdraw like what your guy is doing to you now the only reason for this is he has found somone new pls move on its game over

FXKing2012:
If you are in doubt though I could help you track him down and give you details of what he's been up to where he is

keeked:

I have been secretly wishing for a different opinion. That is the beauty of the forum. Thank you.
I did blame myself. I said i am way into him more than he is way into me and the love is very one sided.

As per the arguments, they mostly stem from this 'you're chocking me' palava. I am used to how it used to be between us and he's obviously in a different place.

And are you saying I shouldn't leave even if it's obvious that the love isn't really mutual anymore?

Tashamania:

What the hell? What are you exactly?

keeked:

This caught my attention. I forgot to add that he's older than me by far (asin by almost a decade).....

Thanks for your words.

gajike: This guy did not love u anymore as I may think. But don't give up yet. Am suprise that u started mailing someone else on nairaland. The guy remmy might want to take advantage of ur situation to cook up his owm cork and bull story. Don't fall for it. And what if ur guy is reading this story. Don't allow ur emotion to complicate issue. As a mother my advise is to face ur career and move more closer to GOD. If the guy is for u he will fall back to track. If he is not GOD will send u better person. But firstly u have to rededicate ur life to christ because u hav go agaist HIS commandment. Don't allow the guy issue to derail u from ur career. Remember if anything happens u alone will bear the consequence.
From my experience if u force urself into this relationship ur marriage will never last and this is not good. Don't allow any guy to marry u out of pity if u want evalasting joy.

FXKing2012:
Truthfully, I'm not sure.

Da Mayor: Sister, everyone here is advising you to throw in the towel. However, remember when youre crying at night, they will all be cozy with their boo's, and i bet many of them are worse 'mugus'(permit me to use that phrase), yet will come here ranting.
Dont compare your relationship to any other. Building is never easy, and the more expensive it is, the better. Im sure that boo loves you. He probably really just needs some space and you have to understand that giving him space doesnt mean he doesnt want to hear from you. Theres just cycles in life and this is just one of them. He'll come around i promise. The key is communication (sometimes people can actually talk but not communicate).
However i hope you are not pressurising him to make some kind of commitment. These things come in stages. if hes been with you this long, itll happen at the right time.

Da Mayor: Sister, everyone here is advising you to throw in the towel. However, remember when youre crying at night, they will all be cozy with their boo's, and i bet many of them are worse 'mugus'(permit me to use that phrase), yet will come here ranting.
Dont compare your relationship to any other. Building is never easy, and the more expensive it is, the better. Im sure that boo loves you. He probably really just needs some space and you have to understand that giving him space doesnt mean he doesnt want to hear from you. Theres just cycles in life and this is just one of them. He'll come around i promise. The key is communication (sometimes people can actually talk but not communicate).
However i hope you are not pressurising him to make some kind of commitment. These things come in stages. if hes been with you this long, itll happen at the right time.

Saecula: This is a portent.
I think this kind of thing happens when one is in a relationship with someone one is not on a par with. When there are ginormous gaps in status and standing in life, it makes the suzerain dictate the tunes as opposed to both having a say in the relationship.
If this can be happening now, there is every tendency that it will be worse in future.
I guess you should learn to let go should the need arise.
One shouldn't force oneself to be loved.
==============
Again, everyone has the right to be happy, and if a person thinks that with you that is no longer guaranteed, let the person go.
====================
The greatest mistake you will make is to blame yourself for his departure when you are not the cause.
Never also think he left because you are no longer attractive, etc. Because anybody that wants to leave can easily come up with a flimsy excuse. Of course that's after examining yourself.
================
Also endeavour to work and improve yourself.
Cheerio!

debwealth:

Abeg!! For so if she was ur sister, this is the kind of advice u will give en, how sad, there are no 2 ways to it, this are clear signs, how busy can a guy b that he wnt even find out time to call and moreover do u ever use the word 'busy' for ur love, oh! He is occupied yet he keeps hurting her wt words....if u know wat is good for u @OP, move ahead wt ur life, don't b too hasty to start anoda relationship n if he comes bk let him work for u so see if he is for real.