I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour London Bridge. I just wanted to get paid and get even with those colonial people. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not even buy a bus pass let alone open a bank account.

This is my story,

It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost.

I was at YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined FRAUD (Fine Rich Africans United in Deals). It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal).

I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean Elephant and Castle. We were supposed to meet at 10.00am. I got there at 11.30am and he turned up at 1.30pm.

He pulled up in a Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE. He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down whilst smoking cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me. Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed.

He introduced himself as Adepoju Kunle Babatunde and asked me to call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he messed the whole thing up by slanging - he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French.

I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo(my man) was trying hard to be British.

After hanging with Ade for about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes). Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants).

My status,

I had a BMW 328is convertible and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a council flat and signing on. I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills. I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over ?1000 on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I walked home.

My downfall,

Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall. I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Asshole) and we did a couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be a CID (Cockroach in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not even know.

I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They followed me unto the high road and it was then it hit me that something was wrong.

I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over.

They read me my rights and all that crap and all I could say was -
OGA, water please!

recycled, here is the link, https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-12551.0.html

diddy4t, its obvious that you have a problem, a big one for that matter.ha ba! if you have seen it b4 nko?let others enjoy it.what on nairaland is not posted twice.u are getting on ppls nerves and you have better watched it cos some ppl will not be diplomatic, ye ye

diddy4t, its obvious that you have a problem, a big one for that matter.ha ba! if you have seen it b4 nko?let others enjoy it.what on nairaland is not posted twice.u are getting on ppls nerves and you had better watched it cos some ppl will not be diplomatic, ye ye

@Olembe , Hold up,
Diddy's got a point, what's the essense of recycling if it's still on the same Site/Forum.
There are different pages ,Jokes are read here on a daily basis why try to make it boring when one gets to read the same stuff over and over and over _{need i continue} again?

@olembe

i think u are one of those that will eat a delicious food, throw up and it your vomit cuzz u think it is still delicious. how can someone be repeating jokes in this forum and u are yapping like what i dont know. carry time ooo. me no want your palava now.

diddy4dt:

recycled, here is the link, https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-12551.0.html

dm:

@Olembe , Hold up,
Diddy's got a point, what's the essense of recycling if it's still on the same Site/Forum.
There are different pages ,Jokes are read here on a daily basis why try to make it boring when one gets to read the same stuff over and over and over _{need i continue} again?

It'z ok. I think NL has noticed the both of you (recyclers). Na wah 2 una

lol ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Haven't read this one before!

spikelord:

Haven't read this one before!

Check Diddy's Link

xdos:

It'z ok. I think Nairaland has noticed the both of you (recyclers). Na wah 2 una

Oga explain wetin u mean.
Cos from this, it's like u enjoy reading the same thing over and over again.

xdos:

It'z ok. I think Nairaland has noticed the both of you (recyclers). Na wah 2 una

u don dey kolo for head. no make me come there break bottle for your head ooo.

Hey Guys! its recycled,uv seen it b4 n so wat. There r odas who hvnt seen it so let dem enjoy it.