Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,150,814 members, 7,810,126 topics. Date: Friday, 26 April 2024 at 09:15 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Career / Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace (1865 Views)
What Do You Like About Your Workplace / 10 Hilarious But Real Office Rules To Live By / What Is The Best Thing U Like About your Workplace (2) (3) (4)
Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 2:27pm On Apr 26, 2013 |
10 Office Rules: 10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do. 9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. 8. Messy desk -- only top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. 7. Voice mail -- Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. 6. Look impatient and annoyed -- According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give off the impression that you're always busy. 5. Leave the office late -- Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays. 4. Creative sighing for effect -- Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure. 3. Stacking strategy -- It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor, etc. (thick computer manuals are the best). 2. Build vocabulary -- Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember, they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive. 1. MOST IMPORTANT -- make una no let una oga see this thing by mistake ooo. 2 Likes |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by Nobody: 2:31pm On Apr 26, 2013 |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 2:41pm On Apr 26, 2013 |
oxford: oxford: |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 3:56pm On Apr 26, 2013 |
oxford: |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 2:18pm On Apr 27, 2013 |
Bumb |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by Patuwa: 4:53pm On Apr 28, 2013 |
This is very correct O! 1 Like |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by mhm(m): 1:32pm On Apr 29, 2013 |
found this really funny. Nice. 1 Like |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 1:48pm On Apr 29, 2013 |
mhm: found this really funny. Nice.pls make sure u apply these rules they'll surely help u get promoted. |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by hayoakins(m): 7:00pm On Apr 30, 2013 |
mehn, this is awesome. Sincerely i do alot of the itemised strategies but trust me, am always busy doing something and not nothing whoever wrote this is damn lazy and indeed creative. front page pls 1 Like |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by bolaino(m): 11:25am On May 12, 2013 |
hayoakins: mehn, this is awesome.hahahahaha |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by majinice07: 2:50pm On May 12, 2013 |
men i stick to rule no.9, it really help me because am even a casual staff, but the way i used to work on the system impress my boss, he always sees some staff coming to me for help. i think it a very good idea. And leaving the office late is also a good one 1 Like |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by SeyiAkinbo(m): 1:16pm On May 13, 2013 |
bolaino: 10 Office Rules:A very good bad guy! lolz! |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by Kx: 1:25pm On May 13, 2013 |
Sounds funny but it has always worked and will always work for smart ones in so far as u are prompt on ur deliverables. 1 Like |
Re: Top Ten Office Rules That Will Get You Promoted In Your Workplace by tochigold(f): 11:31am On Sep 07, 2015 |
nice 1 #ngcareers |
(1) (Reply)
Please Recommend ICAN. Study Materials For Management Information / Cips Members Forum / Archicad And Artlantis Wizard
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 32 |