Dress Code - It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days - We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days - Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave - This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use - Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break - Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

TYTY how you take know? You don work for them before?

i be wan wrk there, na d policy pursue me commot

lol

those are wicked policies. i think i'm gonna use it

tyty don carry enter 18yard box again, anyway sha, she has accepted to be eehm ehm[i],,(stammers)[/i] my ,


*some one calls my name and i looks back*

speask up men

voice out men

now you really sound like smeagol

why are u undecided

thats how he was born

lol

thats wicked naija. very wicked

@ tufe

wats wicked u just dey run dey comment on all the thread i think i'll move a motion 4 u to be moderator in kuvukiland


sam u gast beware,

lol

thanx, but i be med student. i just get small break, so i dey catch my trips here, time dey come wey i go just disappear.

i believe u dey open all the thread into various windows come dey comment i don ask Sam say wake them make u response minister so that all jokes way dey come this section must be responded to 1st by u then by naija,

lol

dont worry, SAM is too mushhhhh, he handles everything perfectly well, so no wahala.

yeah, i open it in diff windows, and starcomms seem to be fast these. Thank God for that

ty ty


nice

tight

see ur teeth

TYTY,

We no do bad tin to employ you. After working for 25yrs, we gave u a huge severance paycheck of 2 bags of garri and 5 bottles of palm oil.

Now you begin wan expose my company.

Life's no fair at all oh

ITUEN

i appreciate all u did for me in ur coy,
so i wnt more to come and benefit 4rm d gud tins u r doin ,
dats y am doin dis

why she no go expose your company when the package no dey enough for her and her family.

Tyty manage this 10 cups of rice and 2 bottles of ororo, i'll send pepper and meat later.

naija,
y u like to dey expose ursef like dis,
i dey try to cover u up, but u no want am,

n be u beg me make i tke d 2 bags of garri and 5 bottles of palm oil
say u wan share am between all ur family including extended family members wey dey ur village

aiight dear, let me get my purse

awwww, thats ma baby

***draws her closer***

curtain falls

and they drink garri and ekpa behind the curtain made of straw

beef)()*(&*^&^%

just walks away

ituen & tessy
una don hear am lol

na u them hear am from abi who

i wonder o

she just dey do aproko up and down