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All Time Best Of Jokes; Just For Fun! by Stegomiah: 10:03am On May 09, 2013 |
No be today wey some Nigerian Ladies don dey lie, e don tey well well. Their lies dey turn belle, but e get one particular system of lying wey dey make my head scatter. Person go update her status, like "I Love You"....wen you ask her who she dey love, she go say na Jesus Christ she dey Love. Okay, no wahala. Another girl go update her status like, "I miss my baby so much".....if you ask am who be her baby, she go say na Jesus. Hmmmmm, una don see how some girls dey call Jesus baby ba? Some go write "I can't breathe without you".....and dem go say na Jesus dem dey talk about. Even wen people wey no believe in Jesus dey breathe well well everyday, people like Brad Pitt. Fat fat lies. The one wey dey pain me na when some ladies update their status like "I miss you baby, I wanna be in your arms".....and them go say na Jesus dem dey miss. Haba, wich kind thing be dis fa. So na Jesus arms dey hungry you shey Make una stop dis tin abeg. Hmmmm, the drama no stop there oooo, their boyfriends and assistant boyfriends go go their inbox to find out weda na dem she dey talk about. Come see lies na, she go twist their heads and use reverse psychology take finish them. Come see wetin she go yarn; "so Michael you don't believe me, it is you am referring to in that status and I must not put your name to prove my love for you. If you don't believe me, fine, I won't kill myself" O boy, with dis line, the girl go kill their moral and na the boys go come begin dey beg her. The girl go come dey form vexing tins and in order to cool her down, some of the jonzing boys go wire some money enter her account or buy her big recharge cards....see hammer na...Chai, fear some 9ja girls, walahi. So any time una see some 9ja girls dey update their status like dat, make una bone dem. They are still learning.....lolz Kai, 9ja girls, I hail oooo......I dey feel una die. : For Girls only nw quikly rush dis prayer points too Prayer pont 1 my fada my fada any guy dat wants to chop me nd klin mouth God make him begin den gum gum me! Prayer point 2.oh lord my God any guy dat haz bin formin 4 me all bcus he drives his oga suv,make he batch d kar on our date just 2 expose him! Prayer point 3. God any guy dat has slept wit titi,shayo,bose,ireti,tolu nd wants 2 use me 2 cap it all oh lord d nite he plans 2 call me divert his number to glo customer care ! Prayer Point 4. Dis one just kum nw nw pray am o! Oh lord God if d intention of my bf is 2 be sleepin wit as many gurls as posibu baba God let him find himself in bauchi (the land of the bokoharams) i guez he kan sleep wit as many bombs as posibu!lol Do I hear an Amen? *prayer mode activated* BOYS ONLY. Prayer point 1 My father my Father! Anywhere any girl is planning to use me as a MUGU, God destroy her plans! Prayer point 2 Oh God! Any girl that is using her breast to confuse my destiny, Holy Ghost fire! Prayer point 3 Any girl that has vowed that she would never date me, God make her to see me taking her shopping in her dream. .IJN! Prayer point 4 Any girl that has slept with 5 different men including me and wants to tie me down with pregnancy that is not mine, God make her forget my name! Prayer point 5 any girl that is trying my number because her BIS has expired, father God divert my number to kidnappers line! OYA START PRAYING! THIS IS MY ADVISE FOR ALL THE INNOCENT GUYS OUT THERE.... "If you don't want to trek back to the village, follow this advice... 1. When she says "lets meet",make sure you meet her where they don't sell food or drinks may be a Post Office, Church or even the Round About.. 2. If you are broke & its X-mas time or her Birthday, just start some beef & make up after the Event!.. 3. If she asks you for airtime coz she wants to send you sweet texts and stuff!.....just send her 100MB data bundle & tell her it's for the whole week on FB. If she asks U to take her out on Sunday, just carry a Bible & take her to the nearest Church! 5. If She says she wants to see a Movie,go home with her & give her a CD bag to choose her Movie.. 6. She wants another phone?Coz she wants to have 2 lines Go n get her a Chinese Double Sim or better still a Tripple Sim... HE PROPOSED. AND SHE GAVE HIM A STINGING SLAP! Man: Baby, I love you, would you please marry me? ... Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face) I have waited more than 9yrs, I have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought books and listened to tapes, even went out of my way to be nice to every male specie of marriageable age! I took up new hobbies, watching football and play station. I went to Daystar, from Daystar, I went to House on the Rock, from House on the rock I went to Guiding Light Assembly, Phronesis christian centre int'l, MFM,christ embassy,Redeemed, from there i went to This Present Winners looking every where for you l went from a size 14 to asize 10, so that when you see me you’d love what you see. I left Lagos, went to Abuja, from Abuja I went to Port- Harcourt, then I went all the way to Kano I joined hi-five, from hi-five to faceboook, then I went to twitter, I even had a blog on which I ranted, hoping ♈ōϋ would show up! for where? I uploaded only my best pictures on Facebook, infact I took photo sessions to look my best, all for you o! I attended all the weddings, whether the invitation was direct or indirect! The next place I was hoping to check was the moon, before you crawled out, crawled out from the house directly next to mine! So it was you all this while? The neighbour I said hello to every morning? Were you trying to destroy my faith? You almost rendered my prayer life useless? What were you waiting for? What sign where you looking for? Do you want to kill me before you reveal yourself?!!! Now be a gentleman, get down on your knees and put that ring on my finger!! |
Re: All Time Best Of Jokes; Just For Fun! by Stegomiah: 10:05am On May 09, 2013 |
Like seriously, the Madness wey dey go on for Facebook and other social networks suppose stop sharpaly. I don talk am before, why be say some Admins of Some Page go dey force us to comment for their posts......abi e get any financial gain wey dey follow our comments? Like seriously, all these threats no funny at all sam sam. Dem go say make you type Amen to claim Prayers wey you ma know say e no fit happen suddenly. Walahi, e get some kind prayers wey even if your Faith dey like Mount Kilimanjaro, you no go fit actualize am sharp sharp. One Page this afternoon, say make will type "Amen" and before 6pm today, we go receive call wey go jolly our belle. Chai, e pain me because I remember wen I type "Amen" to similar prayer last year, and I receive call wey spoil my mind till december last year. Some go say if you no type "R.I.P", that means you no get heart and you be devil pikin. And the funny thing be say most of these stories and pictures, wey these Pages dey by-force us to comment on, dey very very fake. The one wey dey scatter my head na wen person send you message, and the message come carry very wicked threat......like "Send this message to 6people, and if you fail to do so, you will be broke this week"......make una come see threat eh. Some na, " if you don't send this message to 9people, that means you hate God"......na wa ooo, na by-force, haba! E get some kind threat wey you no fit bone......and person like me wey too dey fear, wetin I go do na? Finally, e get some Page wey go post porn Video, come tell you say if you type "ZT" or "PLAY"....dey video go begin play or dem go send the video into your inbox. Fa fa fa fowl!!! Heavy lie! Chai, and some of my friends been fall mugu ooo. I believe say these Pages wey dey do dis kind thing, dey hammer for our head.......and if dem wan make money for our head, no be by deceiving us na....e no make sense na. And abeg, na beg I dey so oooo....make person no send me message wey go by-force me or threaten me oooo....Abeg |
Re: All Time Best Of Jokes; Just For Fun! by IAmBhijay(m): 9:15pm On May 09, 2013 |
Nice 1............ so on point.... 1 Like |
Re: All Time Best Of Jokes; Just For Fun! by Peterpan1(m): 3:27am On May 10, 2013 |
Read my mind, nyc 1 there |
Re: All Time Best Of Jokes; Just For Fun! by Nobody: 9:46am On May 10, 2013 |
Nice 1 |
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