No be today wey some Nigerian Ladies don dey lie, e don tey well well. Their lies dey turn belle, but e get one particular system of lying wey dey make my head scatter.
Person go update her status, like "I Love You"....wen you ask her who she dey love, she go say na Jesus Christ she dey Love. Okay, no wahala.
Another girl go update her status like, "I miss my baby so much".....if you ask am who be her baby, she go say na Jesus. Hmmmmm, una don see how some girls dey call Jesus baby ba?
Some go write "I can't breathe without you".....and dem go say na Jesus dem dey talk about. Even wen people wey no believe in Jesus dey breathe well well everyday, people like Brad Pitt. Fat fat lies.

The one wey dey pain me na when some ladies update their status like "I miss you baby, I wanna be in your arms".....and them go say na Jesus dem dey miss. Haba, wich kind thing be dis fa. So na Jesus arms dey hungry you shey Make una stop dis tin abeg.
Hmmmm, the drama no stop there oooo, their boyfriends and assistant boyfriends go go their inbox to find out weda na dem she dey talk about. Come see lies na, she go twist their heads and use reverse psychology take finish them. Come see wetin she go yarn; "so Michael you don't believe me, it is you am referring to in that status and I must not put your name to prove my love for you. If you don't believe me, fine, I won't kill myself" O boy, with dis line, the girl go kill their moral and na the boys go come begin dey beg her. The girl go come dey form vexing tins and in order to cool her down, some of the jonzing boys go wire some money enter her account or buy her big recharge cards....see hammer na...Chai, fear some 9ja girls, walahi.

So any time una see some 9ja girls dey update their status like dat, make una bone dem. They are still learning.....lolz

Kai, 9ja girls, I hail oooo......I dey feel una die. :


For Girls only
nw quikly rush dis prayer points too

Prayer pont 1 my fada my fada any guy dat wants to chop me nd klin mouth God make him begin den gum gum me!

Prayer point 2.oh lord my God any guy dat haz bin formin 4 me all bcus he drives his oga suv,make he batch d kar on our date just 2 expose him!

Prayer point 3. God any guy dat has slept wit titi,shayo,bose,ireti,tolu nd wants 2 use me 2 cap it all oh lord d nite he plans 2 call me divert his number to glo customer care !

Prayer Point 4. Dis one just kum nw nw pray am o! Oh lord God if d intention of my bf is 2 be sleepin wit as many gurls as posibu baba God let him find himself in bauchi (the land of the bokoharams) i guez he kan sleep wit as many bombs as posibu!lol

Do I hear an Amen?

*prayer mode activated* BOYS ONLY.
Prayer point 1 My father my Father! Anywhere any girl is planning
to use me as a MUGU, God destroy her plans!

Prayer point 2 Oh God! Any girl that is using her breast to confuse
my destiny, Holy Ghost fire!

Prayer point 3 Any girl that has vowed that she would never date
me, God make her to see me taking her shopping in
her dream. .IJN!

Prayer point 4 Any girl that has slept with 5 different men
including me and wants to tie me down with
pregnancy that is not mine, God make her forget
my name!

Prayer point 5 any girl that is trying my number because her BIS
has expired, father God divert my number to
kidnappers line!
OYA START PRAYING!

THIS IS MY ADVISE FOR ALL THE INNOCENT GUYS OUT THERE....

"If you don't
want to trek back to the village,
follow this advice...

1. When she
says "lets meet",make sure you
meet her where they don't sell
food or drinks may be a Post
Office, Church or even the
Round About..

2. If you are broke
& its X-mas time or her
Birthday, just start some beef &
make up after the Event!..

3. If she asks you for airtime coz she
wants to send you sweet texts
and stuff!.....just send her 100MB
data bundle & tell her it's for the
whole week on FB. If she asks U
to take her out on Sunday, just
carry a Bible & take her to the
nearest Church!

5. If She says she wants to see a Movie,go home with her & give her a CD bag to choose her Movie..

6. She wants
another phone?Coz she wants
to have 2 lines Go n get her a
Chinese Double Sim or better still a
Tripple Sim...

HE PROPOSED. AND SHE GAVE HIM A
STINGING
SLAP!

Man: Baby, I love you, would you
please marry me?
... Woman: (stands up and lands a
stinging slap on his face) I have
waited more than 9yrs, I have
prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought books and
listened to tapes,
even
went out of my way to be nice
to every male specie
of marriageable age! I took up new hobbies, watching football
and play
station. I went to Daystar, from
Daystar, I went to House
on the Rock, from House on the
rock I went to Guiding Light Assembly, Phronesis
christian centre int'l, MFM,christ
embassy,Redeemed, from there i
went to This Present
Winners looking every where for
you l went from a size 14 to asize
10, so that when you see me
you’d love what you see.
I left Lagos, went to Abuja, from
Abuja I went to
Port- Harcourt, then I went all the way to Kano I joined hi-five,
from hi-five to faceboook,
then I
went to twitter, I even had a
blog on which I ranted,
hoping ♈ōϋ would show up! for where? I uploaded only my best
pictures on Facebook,
infact I took photo sessions to
look my best, all for
you o! I attended all the
weddings, whether the invitation was direct or indirect!
The next place I was hoping to
check was the moon,
before you crawled out, crawled
out from the house directly
next to mine! So it was you all this while? The
neighbour I said hello to every
morning?
Were you trying to destroy my
faith?
You almost rendered my prayer life useless?
What were you waiting for?
What sign where you looking
for? Do you want to kill me
before you reveal yourself?!!!
Now be a gentleman, get down on
your knees and
put that ring on my finger!!

Like seriously, the Madness wey dey go on for Facebook and other social networks suppose stop sharpaly.
I don talk am before, why be say some Admins of Some Page go dey force us to comment for their posts......abi e get any financial gain wey dey follow our comments?

Like seriously, all these threats no funny at all sam sam. Dem go say make you type Amen to claim Prayers wey you ma know say e no fit happen suddenly. Walahi, e get some kind prayers wey even if your Faith dey like Mount Kilimanjaro, you no go fit actualize am sharp sharp.
One Page this afternoon, say make will type "Amen" and before 6pm today, we go receive call wey go jolly our belle. Chai, e pain me because I remember wen I type "Amen" to similar prayer last year, and I receive call wey spoil my mind till december last year.

Some go say if you no type "R.I.P", that means you no get heart and you be devil pikin. And the funny thing be say most of these stories and pictures, wey these Pages dey by-force us to comment on, dey very very fake.

The one wey dey scatter my head na wen person send you message, and the message come carry very wicked threat......like "Send this message to 6people, and if you fail to do so, you will be broke this week"......make una come see threat eh.
Some na, " if you don't send this message to 9people, that means you hate God"......na wa ooo, na by-force, haba!
E get some kind threat wey you no fit bone......and person like me wey too dey fear, wetin I go do na?

Finally, e get some Page wey go post porn Video, come tell you say if you type "ZT" or "PLAY"....dey video go begin play or dem go send the video into your inbox. Fa fa fa fowl!!! Heavy lie!
Chai, and some of my friends been fall mugu ooo. I believe say these Pages wey dey do dis kind thing, dey hammer for our head.......and if dem wan make money for our head, no be by deceiving us na....e no make sense na.

And abeg, na beg I dey so oooo....make person no send me message wey go by-force me or threaten me oooo....Abeg

Nice 1............ so on point....

Read my mind, nyc 1 there

Nice 1