My husband keeps quarelling with me because I have refused to allow him have total control of my finances? But I am always there for him financially if any problem comes up. I am confused!! Why does he keep insisting? If I always support him when money issues come up why does he still insist on having full control of my money??

my dear I am sorry you made a big mistake not sorting this out prior to wedlock
This should have been thrashed out before you entered the union

Howver not all spoil

You can practice proportional investment whereby each of you combine a proportion of your earnings into a common pool or account which two of you have equal access to
This will be used for projects, running the home, school fees, rent etc

Example
He earns 200k you earn 150k say monthly
This means the ratio of your earnings are a factor of 4:3 (multiples of 50k)
If you monthly expense is 140k per month he will bring 4/7 of the cash (80k) while you will drop 60K

This opens up vistas for trust and openness (explaining to each other what you want to use the money for) while allowing you to have money for other things and yes, backup! you never know

Please review advise wisely on this thread

And manage your marriage o
It is your own

iikkwwoo: My husband keeps quarelling with me because I have refused to allow him have total control of my finances? But I am always there for him financially if any problem comes up. I am confused!! Why does he keep insisting? If I always support him when money issues come up why does he still insist on having full control of my money??

There's no credible reason for him to have full control of your money. Keep contributing to the family. Take the initiative too sometimes and do something's without him asking. But maintain control of your salary.

iikkwwoo: My husband keeps quarelling with me because I have refused to allow him have total control of my finances? But I am always there for him financially if any problem comes up. I am confused!! Why does he keep insisting? If I always support him when money issues come up why does he still insist on having full control of my money??

For what now? Some men are from the devil I swear. 2mrw u will hear he has used ur money to marry another wife. Woman use ur brain in this one.

Woooh!!! Am not married oh but my dad never at any point asked to be in control of my mums earning.

Its not proper to let ur husband control ur income.
You alone decide if he's worth having control over ur finance.

Dear sis, use ur head not ur heart

iikkwwoo: My husband keeps quarelling with me because I have refused to allow him have total control of my finances? But I am always there for him financially if any problem comes up. I am confused!! Why does he keep insisting? If I always support him when money issues come up why does he still insist on having full control of my money??

Woman, be very careful. I am a man and I believe a working woman should contribute to the house but I do not think anyone should submit their entire salary to any other. I will advice you tell your husband how much you earn, pick up some bills you will pay and you should have the discretion to spend whatever is left.

Do you earn more than him? Is he having financial difficulty and when did he come up with this demand. You are an adult, you work and earn money; and you should have the discretion to spend it how best you seem fit. He should not be the one to tell you when to buy new undies anymore!

@op, sit your hubby down and communicate efficiently and effectively with him, tell him your total income, i mean, your monthly salary, also, tell him the area/s which you are going to be taking care as regards family's financial obligations, also tell him you are there for him, if there is need for you to come in financially and lastly, let him realise that you are also an adult like him, and you are not and should not be treated like a dummy or a robbot, who doesnt know how to handle issues, especially financial issues, let him realise that you are the one who worked for the money and that you are suppose to be the one who plans how the money should be spent, not him.


However, if hes the type that also allow you to have total control over his money, then, he deserve to also have total control over your income.


#Differnt issues in different marriages,.
May God help us all.

Sounds like control issues, not necessarily the money. If it's about control, he should be exhibiting it in other ways, not just your salary.

I don't think the average Naija man cares too much about their wife's salary. The ones I have heard of, it's about control

iikkwwoo: My husband keeps quarelling with me because I have refused to allow him have total control of my finances? But I am always there for him financially if any problem comes up. I am confused!! Why does he keep insisting? If I always support him when money issues come up why does he still insist on having full control of my money??

Because many Nigerian men like to deceive themselves that their wives become their personal property after marriage and they can do anything they like with her and her belongings.

Anyway talk to your husband like the others adviced, good luck.

becareful of that bastard. a real man does not care about the woman's money

Marriage!some men will not allow u to work,u work and they want to take control of ur income!what is he hopin to achieve?
@op if its only in dis issue that he want to b a control freak, simple matured communication can amend it.
Check urself too,u might hv flaws that promptd him into thinkin of takin control of ur finances. Think of joint acc like somebody said. Maybe u hv to expantiate cos its strange. Men don't really care.like my hubby always said' d day u start thinkin about ur wife's money is d day u will start losin ur respect in her eyes'

eze moses: becareful of that bastard. a real man does not care about the woman's money

and my dear sir, how do you know that this is so..

responsible people i know care about their wives do with their earnings..
They ensure it is not fritteres away on possessions but rather tangible stuff like education, professioonal exams, land sef
Some of these have been useful when the family fell on hard times

biolabee:

and my dear sir, how do you know that this is so..

responsible people i know care about their wives do with their earnings..
They ensure it is not fritteres away on possessions but rather tangible stuff like education, professioonal exams, land sef
Some of these have been useful when the family fell on hard times

I agree.

Responsible women also care what their husbands do with their earnings and ensure it is not frittered away on possessions.

^^^ then all is well with the world

biolabee: ^^^ then all is well with the world

It sure is!

Biolabee, would you be okay with your wife keeping tabs on how you spend your money because she wants to make sure you don't squander it?

fellis:

It sure is!

Biolabee, would you be okay with your wife keeping tabs on how you spend your money because she wants to make sure you don't squander it?

Yep.. I outlined a formula above because that's what I got from discussing with my elder friends

It allows the common account with some for your own discretionary spending

biolabee:

Yep.. I outlined a formula above because that's what I got from discussing with my elder friends

It allows the common account with some for your own discretionary spending

Ok then.

What does OP mean by full control?

OP What are you contributing to the household expenses?

If you are not helping with household finances then he has the right to question you on what you are doing with your income.

On the other hand if you are contributing equally to household finances, then anything left, he has no business with how you spend it

Do you have full control of his money? I think you suggest a joint account, where you both contribute monthly. You should be able to do things for yourself with the money you worked hard for. Try to talk to him abeg. If he gives you absolute control over his own money, then maybe you should relax. But put a limit to what anyone can take from your account without your signature. Maybe like 10k a week if possible.

Full control?that's an odd request. am repeating what yellow paw paw and said abeg,no typing strength .