Mature nlanders come to my aid. I n my hubby have a 2months + old baby. Our baby's baptism will be by month end.
My hubby has always wanted to celebrate it. But av bin kicking against it cos of our financial situation.
My hubby has got so much loan to repay dat wen he pays every month end from his salary, he has to go take a fresh loan for life to continue. It has been like this for some tym now.
Now my hubby wants us to postpone our baby's baptism all becos he wants to throw a party after it. Av told him i wont keep my baby at home for 4months because party. Cos we can jus do the baptism n come bak home.
The annoying thing is that in dat next month, he's going to take a loan to do the party. Our rent will also be due by then. He says all his friends and colleagues are expecting him n are always reminding him about throwing the party.
I told him it doesnt matter cos those people will leave us to "drink garri" wen the party is over.
My husband is a people pleaser.
Pls how can i convince him not to throw this unnecesary party. Cos i cant stay at home again for another 1 month

get on ur knees and talk to God ( not nairalanders) abt it. de heart of a King is in de Lord's hand.







but did I read ''baby's baptism''.
hmmmmmmm

Poor niggas be like "celebrating child dedication is a sin and spiritual".

Profcamsey:
Poor niggas be like "celebrating child dedication is a sin and spiritual".

i neva said it was a sin but for d financial situation. FYI we're not poor, financial mishaps can happen to any1. Dats why i requested for mature minds to comment

Kanwulia your wise advice is needed here o.wetin you think?
This one confuse me o

I have never celebrated any,After service (my first baby) took a few friends to a hotel lounge, bought a few drinks and food, that's all. For others, i baptize my kids and that's that .

It's one of those ceremonies we still keep to fulfil righteousness.

There's nothing wrong in taking one's kid to the church for dedication; I'm only against the financial mess couples get themselves into.

I do not plan to celebrate any of my kids' dedication (when I do have them), neither do I plan to do naming ceremony. Hubby thinks it's wierd, but has settled for the idea.
I love my life quiet and simple. Or, just maybe I'm not rich

And to think your hubby wants to take a loan for that. . . To please who exactly? Will this same people bail him out of the back-to-back loans he has to clear? Will they feed, cloth or house his family when the chips are down? Shey, its just to come and eat, dance and leave? By the time they get home, they would have forgotten the taste of the rice and chicken you gave them. And your hard earned borrowed money has gone down the drain. Na you go still deal with the clean-up and exhaustion wey go follow.

I donot have any problems with people that do all that though, as long as they can conveniently afford it. But to borrow for that?!? Ontop of already pending loans?? Its just amazing what people see as priority. To each, his own sha. . .

Phema:
I do not plan to celebrate any of my kids' dedication (when I do have them), neither do I plan to do naming ceremony. Hubby thinks it's wierd, but has settled for the idea.
I love my life quiet and simple. Or, just maybe I'm not rich

And to think your hubby wants to take a loan for that. . . To please who exactly? Will this same people bail him out of the back-to-back loans he has to clear? Will they feed, cloth or house his family when the chips are down? Shey, its just to come and eat, dance and leave? By the time they get home, they would have forgotten the taste of the rice and chicken you gave them. And your hard earned borrowed money has gone down the drain. Na you go still deal with the clean-up and exhaustion wey go follow.

I donot have any problems with people that do all that though, as long as they can conveniently afford it. But to borrow for that?!? Ontop of already pending loans?? Its just amazing what people see as priority. To each, his own sha. . .

This. I dont know why our people like putting themselves through unnecessary stress. I dont understand.

nicequeen:
Mature nlanders come to my aid. I n my hubby have a 2months + old baby. Our baby's baptism will be by month end.
My hubby has always wanted to celebrate it. But av bin kicking against it cos of our financial situation.
My hubby has got so much loan to repay dat wen he pays every month end from his salary, he has to go take a fresh loan for life to continue. It has been like this for some tym now.
Now my hubby wants us to postpone our baby's baptism all becos he wants to throw a party after it. Av told him i wont keep my baby at home for 4months because party. Cos we can jus do the baptism n come bak home.
The annoying thing is that in dat next month, he's going to take a loan to do the party. Our rent will also be due by then. He says all his friends and colleagues are expecting him n are always reminding him about throwing the party.
I told him it doesnt matter cos those people will leave us to "drink garri" wen the party is over.
My husband is a people pleaser.
Pls how can i convince him not to throw this unnecesary party. Cos i cant stay at home again for another 1 month

I think parties are highly unnecessary and makes less sense when you cant comfortably afford it.

My dear,you can further convince him by highlighting the pros and cons of throwing a party. And who doesn't know the cons far outweigh the pros.

You can make your hubby realize he can put that money in a RESP(Registered Education Savings Plan) for your new born rather than spending it on some frivolous party. Now, thats good borrowing.
Does he know how much tuition fees are especially in a place like Nigeria where you have to pay through your nose for primary and secondary education?

Please sit him down and let him ponder on the future of that baby.

nicequeen:
Mature nlanders come to my aid. I n my hubby have a 2months + old baby. Our baby's baptism will be by month end.
My hubby has always wanted to celebrate it. But av bin kicking against it cos of our financial situation.
My hubby has got so much loan to repay dat wen he pays every month end from his salary, he has to go take a fresh loan for life to continue. It has been like this for some tym now.
Now my hubby wants us to postpone our baby's baptism all becos he wants to throw a party after it. Av told him i wont keep my baby at home for 4months because party. Cos we can jus do the baptism n come bak home.
The annoying thing is that in dat next month, he's going to take a loan to do the party. Our rent will also be due by then. He says all his friends and colleagues are expecting him n are always reminding him about throwing the party.
I told him it doesnt matter cos those people will leave us to "drink garri" wen the party is over.
My husband is a people pleaser.
Pls how can i convince him not to throw this unnecesary party. Cos i cant stay at home again for another 1 month

I think parties are highly unnecessary and makes less sense when you cant comfortably afford it just like Phema stated.

My dear,you can further convince him by highlighting the pros and cons of throwing a party. And who doesn't know the cons far outweigh the pros.

You can make your hubby realize he can put that money in a RESP(Registered Education Savings Plan) for your new born rather than spending it on some frivolous party. Now, thats good borrowing.
Does he know how much tuition fees are especially in a place like Nigeria where you have to pay through your nose for primary and secondary education?

Please sit him down and let him ponder on the future of that baby.

I really don't know how some people are comfortable with taking loans to throw parties its some how strange. I can only take loans to do business that will bring cool profits that will cover the interest I'm being charged at the bank. I also should be left with some percentages.

ladygogo:



I think parties are highly unnecessary and makes less sense when you cant comfortably afford it.

My dear,you can further convince him by highlighting the pros and cons of throwing a party. And who doesn't know the cons far outweigh the pros.

You can make your hubby realize he can put that money in a RESP(Registered Education Savings Plan) for your new born rather than spending it on some frivolous party. Now, thats good borrowing.
Does he know how much tuition fees are especially in a place like Nigeria where you have to pay through your nose for primary and secondary education?

Please sit him down and let him ponder on the future of that baby.

thanks maam. Wil discus this with him

Try to convince him to keep the celebration low keyed. At my church we normally all contribute something when a woman is celebration. For instance a cooler of rice or fried chicken. That way the celebrants hardly hardly have costs. We are not a very large community.
You might convince him to celebrate at home in a smaller circle. Rather a small circle that is merry than crowds.
I think celebrating low- keyed would be a good compromise.

nicequeen:
Mature nlanders come to my aid. I n my hubby have a 2months + old baby. Our baby's baptism will be by month end.
My hubby has always wanted to celebrate it. But av bin kicking against it cos of our financial situation.
My hubby has got so much loan to repay dat wen he pays every month end from his salary, he has to go take a fresh loan for life to continue. It has been like this for some tym now.
Now my hubby wants us to postpone our baby's baptism all becos he wants to throw a party after it. Av told him i wont keep my baby at home for 4months because party. Cos we can jus do the baptism n come bak home.
The annoying thing is that in dat next month, he's going to take a loan to do the party. Our rent will also be due by then. He says all his friends and colleagues are expecting him n are always reminding him about throwing the party.
I told him it doesnt matter cos those people will leave us to "drink garri" wen the party is over.
My husband is a people pleaser.
Pls how can i convince him not to throw this unnecesary party. Cos i cant stay at home again for another 1 month

Calculate every dime he is owing plus the rent that will be due. Add a rough estimate of what the baby will also need in the coming months eg pampers, formula, baby wears, high chair, etc. Sit him down and ask for a logical explanation of how he wants to meet all these obligations as they cannot be avoided. Explain to him how an additional loan for a party will take the family into more debt. Discourage him as much as possible.

Give him some time but If he still insist he is going to have the party, just convince him to make it a small affair.

Profcamsey:
Poor niggas be like "celebrating child dedication is a sin and spiritual".

She obviously stated her reasons and ur comment isn't one of them.

OP I understand d angle U are coming from and it still boils down to talking to him. U already know he's a pple pleaser, talk 2him when he's happy and make him see reasons n if he still refuses ask 4 very low key celebration.