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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! (2171 Views)
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Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 12:53pm On May 11, 2013 |
All through the ages, through the dark history man, many have tried to disprove my God, but they've not been successful. Yes, men and women through history have tried to disprove the existence of the Flying Pig, the one and only true God, the Maker of the universe, the Giver of life and the Maker of my soul. He speaks to me always in dreams and in visions, I respond by speaking in tongues. The Flying Pig, full of grace, I worship thee. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 1:47pm On May 11, 2013 |
ooman: All through the ages, through the dark history man, many have tried to disprove my God, but they've not been successful. You idol worshipping heathen. This is a false religion. You want to start a religious war?. The Flying Spaghetti Monster(FSM) is the one and only god. Give your life to him and your tummy will never grumble. 1 Like |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by manmustwank: 1:48pm On May 11, 2013 |
I see officer gestapo has been at work again |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by manmustwank: 1:50pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton:you fools don't you know that flying pigs eat flying spaghetti. You are all flying pig excrement created by the mighty flying pig |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 1:53pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton: what then will I do with the Flying Pig? The Flying Pig appears to me in revelations, speaks to me through his Holy Spirit. I am certain the Flying Pig is the true God, and you cant prove otherwise. I never regret giving my life to the Flying Pig, in fact, the atheists in Religious section have only strengthened my faith in the Flying Pig. The Flying Pig, all praise belong to Thee. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:03pm On May 11, 2013 |
ooman: Listen, you rebellious son, the FSM loves you so much that he sent his only begotten son, the meatball, as a protienacous suppliment to nourish your body. He loves you ,but if wont accept his love, he will throw you into a fiery barbecue grill along with your flying Pig idol forever. Call it the eternal pig roast. He who has ears, let him hear!. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 2:07pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton: All these only re-enforce my faith in the Flying Pig's salvation |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by cyrexx: 2:07pm On May 11, 2013 |
all of you will burn in hell for not worshipping the one true creator of mankind and djinns, the one and only Almighty Cassava Stick. he is not begotten and he begat no one and Cyrexx is His prophet. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by manmustwank: 2:09pm On May 11, 2013 |
cyrexx: all of you will burn in hell for not worshipping the one true creator of mankind and djinns, the one and only Almighty Cassava Stick. he is not begotten and he begat no one and Cyrexx is His prophet.Idiot where you dey when your god was banned by manmustwac? |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:13pm On May 11, 2013 |
ooman: I don't see a flying pig, I see a pig roasting in hell. And I suppose this might re-enforce your faith or your fears? Repent now. The Pasta feast is at hand.
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Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 2:18pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton: you may make of the Flying Pig what you like, but this does not remove anything away from him. The Flying Pig remains the only God. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 2:25pm On May 11, 2013 |
cyrexx: all of you will burn in hell for not worshipping the one true creator of mankind and djinns, the one and only Almighty Cassava Stick. he is not begotten and he begat no one and Cyrexx is His prophet. may the Flying Pig have mercy on your hell bound soul. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by Nobody: 2:28pm On May 11, 2013 |
After all this banter.... [size=20pt]WHEN SHALL WE SEE A HOLY WAR?[/size] |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:34pm On May 11, 2013 |
ooman: I feel so sorry for your soul. You have been seduced by the sweet aromas and delicious tastes of pork chops and bacon. You glutonnous pharisee! Can you not see that high cholesterol and tummy flabs are your only reward?s. But the Fsm is a lot more than temporary sensations of deliciousness. The FSM is everlasting nutrition for all those who follow the true, but narrow path of Pastafarian life. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:39pm On May 11, 2013 |
musKeeto: After all this banter.... War monger! Just ship in the weapons and let human nature do the rest. Remember: weapons don't kill, it's humans that kill--NRA |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by PastorOluT(m): 2:47pm On May 11, 2013 |
Do you guys really know the implication of what you are doing? |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 2:48pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton: The Flying Pig knows what is best for me. He shall not feed me with too much fat neither shall he choke me with cholesterol. Ever since I gave my life to the Flying Pig, I have always experienced an inner happiness too beautiful to describe in words. You need to believe the FP exist, have faith in him and you shall experience a change for the better and eternal life shall be yours. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:49pm On May 11, 2013 |
Pastor Olu T: Do you guys really know the implication of what you are doing? Stirring up another rebellion in heaven? |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 2:50pm On May 11, 2013 |
Pastor Olu T: Do you guys really know the implication of what you are doing? Give your life to the Flying Pig today, tomorrow maybe too late. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 2:58pm On May 11, 2013 |
ooman: Faith? I don't have any more faith for any other god. Mine is already mortgaged to the FSM. I am paying my mortgage, sorry, tithes, as and when due. I have already been assured of my crystal palace at SugarCandy Mountain. Sugar Candy Mountain is the eternally blissful place that Pastafarians go when we die. You, on the other hand, along with your false pig god, will end up in somebody barbecue grill. Ha ha ha. |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by cyrexx: 3:02pm On May 11, 2013 |
manmustwank: you do err, my God is beyond space and time, he can never be banned 1 Like |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by plaetton: 3:04pm On May 11, 2013 |
Pastor Olu T: Do you guys really know the implication of what you are doing? On a serious note, what do you think could be the implications? |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by cyrexx: 3:06pm On May 11, 2013 |
The Almighty Cassava Stick loves you all, he is not willing that any of you shall perish. but come to repentance before it is too late |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by manmustwank: 3:09pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton:The almighty cassava stick will "lovingly" convince you |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by manmustwank: 3:09pm On May 11, 2013 |
cyrexx:Really? Your god has been taking a brutal beating |
Re: Atheists Have Tried, But They Have Not Been Successful! by ooman(m): 3:16pm On May 11, 2013 |
plaetton: There is a path that seem right to man, but its end is destruction. Book of Flying Pig 11:11. You see, the palace promised you by fsm is a lie, how do I know this? the book of FP says so. There is only one paradise, the one that the Flying Pig has gone to prepare for all those who believe in him. You need not offer any more sacrifice neither are you bound by the law. The Flying Pig has offered his life on numerous occasion to save your soul, just as the pic you posted prove. At different times in different places has the Flying Pig died for man, to replenish our stomach and to ensure our salvation. You see the Flying Pig is full of love, so accept him today, before he decide to take away his sustaining power off your life. |
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