Sacrcasm at Work
Dear Staff

It has been brought to the CEO's attention that some individuals throughout the organisation have been using sarcastic language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "Try Saying" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training
Instead Of: You don't have a blankety-blank clue, do you?

2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of: She's a power-crazed witch

3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of: And when the heck do you expect me to do this?

4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of: Buzz off jerkface

5. Try Saying: Really?
Instead Of: Well stand me on my head and call me a flower vase

6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with,
Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a darn.

7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of: Not my gosh-darned problem.

8. Try Saying: That's interesting.
Instead Of: What the heck?

9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of: No blankety-blank chance mate.

10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of: Why the heck didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of: He's got his head where the sun don't shine.

12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of: Oi, jerk face.

13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of: Yeah, who needs blankety-blank holidays anyway?

hmmmm

aisha, wassup, longest time. PLZ cheer our people well O. victory is certain.

meanwhile, tyty has posted this here b4

Tufe, I dey oh. Work no gree me come Nairaland./ The addiction was becoming too much. Anyway, someone sent it to me tot it was funny and decided to post it didnt know its been posted before.

welcoming another lady again tufe

sam, aisha na old timer now. she don tay here. she be folly cyber wife na.

anyway aisha, welcome back, hope work doesnt soon take you away from us

Aisha darling, hw u dey? What a narrow escape u scummies had during the weekend! Anyway, hope u've come to stay in NL for good?

sam, u dey see. u never even kill folly so that she wud be free, and other sharp men don dey fall in the package.

Ayusman, I cant even believe some of the decisions that ref took, did u see that so clear hand ball? Anyway they can cheat if they want but a good team is a good team trophy or not. My Brother I have been out of the office for some time now.
@tufe and Sam, Folly and i are officially over and am as free as a bird.

Aisha and I have come a long way. So Mr. Tufe Amebo Gbeborun look away!

aisha, what say you??

@Sam Mulla, u dey show yourself abi? All my babes na him u wan try to snatch abi? No worry, i know where to catch u? I go do u the thing wey hausa dey call "Kachia so biu"!

Ayusman, haba Kachia so biu, dats wicked. Guys be nice.

Aisha, ok. na ji ki. Because of my undilluted love for you, i would let it pass!


Sam Mulla, Psalms 23 no dey ur own bible now!

patiently waiting for aisha to make her announcement

aisha this is incey do you still remmber me?

lol

who are u? Ar u fine and beautiful? Sammy is looking for a fling

Incey, off course i remeber you, you were looking for your dad once, have you found him?

aisha. not yet. i was busy with school. so, the one you know, how is he like? um do you have a ym acct?

This boys, wetin dey do una self? Send you CV with your Bank Statements and two recent pictures, shirts off,

The one i know is from the North, he works wwith Nigerian televiosion Authority, NTA, he used to be based in Maiduguri but it seems he has been transfered to Jos. My YIM has a problem. The one I know is fair and a bit tall. He isa manager now with NTA but i dont know his present station, my mum works with him if you want further info i could call and ask her.

how about aim? i have aim, it's inceyhassan could you pm me there so i can talk to you privately? Yes please do some more infos like was he married then got divorced afterwards? shoot. im sooooo nervous!

i know it's a really really big favor. Thank you so much.