This Negro Koyoke.

Pennywise: Every culture has its peculiarities and sensitivities and if you want to thrive in contemporary Nigerian society, do not go around arrogantly telling folks 'How are you"? What is wrong with 'Hello Good morning or hello good afternoon'. I personally will spit in your face. I am by nature very polite and respectful. I dont tell people "how are you". Please do not tell me how are you unless you deliberately mean to be disrespectful.

If you are the type that is fixated on 'how' perhaps 'how 'r you doing' might be what you need.

How are you ... Sir/Ma. That's better

Pennywise: Every culture has its peculiarities and sensitivities and if you want to thrive in contemporary Nigerian society, do not go around arrogantly telling folks 'How are you"? What is wrong with 'Hello Good morning or hello good afternoon'. I personally will spit in your face. I am by nature very polite and respectful. I dont tell people "how are you". Please do not tell me how are you unless you deliberately mean to be disrespectful.

If you are the type that is fixated on 'how' perhaps 'how 'r you doing' might be what you need.

If you spit in my face, that will probably be the last thing you ever do.

ChiSun27:

OMG!!! God in H'vn knws dat I just argued dis left hand of stuff with my nebor ydy....n all dey wia sayn is dat it depicts respect...mesef i taya ooooooo!!!!! D same questn wey u ask na im me i stil ask....shey no b God create d left hand abi him ordaine d ryt hand special? N wat abt those dat r left handed?

lol, i think it comes because people wipe themselves with the left, and supposedly eat with the right. one time when i was serving the teachers were actually shocked that my handwriting was good even though i was left handed. out of cultural respect i give them my right hand, even though im more likely to be holding something in my left, and so i have to awkwardly shift to the right to hand it over. i laugh inside though cos these cats don't know that i actually use my right hand for toilet biz. enjoy your 'culture'

you see, i can not catigorically tell you one now.

I used to feel there's nothing wrong with it until I noticed something! Now these pple who go about copy-catting d white culture, asking 'how re u' as a form of greeting, never respond d next time u see them first and greet them "how re u". They pretend dey didn't hear u. In d first place," how re u" is not a greeting, u can't see someone in d morning n just begin to ask how re u? Dat shld come after saying Good Morning! Then u can go ahead to ask how d person is doing! Is dat simple. Nw my assignment for those who claim there is nothing wrong with it - wen u see those ur folks who greet in dat manner, be d first to 'greet' them "how re u" and see if they will ever respond. Den u will agree wit me dat they re attaching importance to themselves wen saying so!!

Dnt even try it wit a yoruba man...na pepper go enta ur eye

Man_51ut:

If you spit in my face, that will probably be the last thing you ever do.

I may spit in ur face if i am in a good mood. On a bad day I will probably hang you (or u would wish i did) and that goes for any bone-headed youngster including those who will approach me with their slimy hand for a hand shake.

Obviously most folks here are ignorant of true social etiquette. You will not find it written anywhere. It is common sense and those who understand it find favours and those who fail to acknowledge may pay a painful price.

In truth nothing makes it uniquely Nigerian. I cant imagine a UK minister asking the Queen 'how are you' or putting out his hand for a hand shake if he wasnt approached first.

How are you should be left for children and pre adolescent teenagers even though i can hardly bring myself to address them as such

To be sure, pennywise is not a monster. He is an average nig guy educated and socially aware. Some might even consider him overly effusive greeting d old and young

it depends on the attitude and tone used by the person. i know of sb who doesn't like being told sth like that , but that's how she greets me.she normally sound as if i am a very small child[ though we r age mate].how are u?[with this sarcasm tone.]so that it will not be said the xtian sister didnt greet. But sb said the same thing to her as i heard and she went ablaze.As previously discussed, its pride/arrogance when u start scrutinizing what and how people greet u.i feel 'how are u?' should be used when u r greeting a pal, but if not good morning or good evening,howz ur day ?will do.

HOW ARE U? IS a gud questn whch involvng a form of asking d well being of anoda person...

But do u knw dat word "how are you" can only be used btwn two friends, contemporaries, patners.....and also father to son/daughter, mother to daughter/son..

Bt its totally wrng 4 a son to ask HIS FATHER HOW ARE YOU(IN yoruba "bawoni" or even an apprentice to address HIS/HER BOSS wit such words, let all 4get abt putng on an ego of oga @ d top, using HOW are U" for an elder is BAD... U can use dat wen u re amdist ur friends.... And bet me none wuld pick up offence on dat...

"oya if u truly want to knw d height of disrespectful dat word "HOW are U" is just say dat to ur teacher/lecturer especially dose prof in Uni.... And c wat reply u wuld get....

ItsModella: Seriously? People find "how are you?" rude?

I personally do not find it rude as long as you respond to my greeting before asking how I am....kinda like
Me: Goodmorning
You: Goodmorning Modella, how are you?

I don't see any big deal about it. People can create a big deal out of little things sha.

I once greeted a colleague at work and the guy told me he didn't like it.
Me: dude,wats up with u

The guy didn't respond o.

After some hours, he told me it was a rude way of greeting.

The kain trivial things pple attach importance to dey baffle me

i guess its in Nigeria that its disrepectlful to greet an individual in that manner. anyway me sef dey vex small if personm wey i senior dey greet me how are you sha. But aside from my personal feeling, i dont see anything wrong with it.

if its nat comin 4rm sm1 dats wel older than me then its rude ah dont kia bou the tone. Besides pple naw say this 'how are yhu' 'how far' thins reluctantly this days not dat they really care.

Some people take petty things too serious. Life is too short to major minor things.

What is the difference between how far na and how are you?

This is Nigeria and here we respect those who we feel are responsible.
When you ask "How are you(doing)?" we expect you mean it and consider it you being a nuisance when we consider you are replacing a regular "Hi" with something else.

Even "how naw" comes with a sense of responsibility that the reply you get is sincere,like "Bros na hunger oh"

Yes someone would say its a Nigerian mentality,but "Hey,you are in Nigeria".

You walk into UBA and the reception area has over 5 ladies, you happen to know all on a personal level and you say "Hi ladies,how are you all doing?" and you get these replies:
1. Am ok
2.Am ok
3.Am really mad at my husband, came home last night and one thing led to another and he gave me a slap.
4.My rent is due and am confused as I've spent my last upfront on medicals of granny.
5.Didnt sleep last night as I was seeing a pediatrician.

What exactly will be your reply to these,are you responsible enough to attend to all these and do you think you're not the one who is jobless checking on everyone you see as not everyone comes from a culture where that is entertained.

Even Counselors have to have you book a session,sit down and talk;why do you think everyone must on the hall way? Some persons have targets given to them and you sometimes are a distraction leaving your desk.

Part of being a human being is you appreciating that we come from different places and respect what our views and values are,if you do not I wonder.

In most languages around if you must checkup on someone then there are conditions like a senior to a younger and we find it strange when because you think for English you can alter all these;its not about being jobless.

Just my view,we might be many

I don't think there is anything wrong in it. If I can grt my parents an lecturers "how are u" an they don't have a problem with it.. then it owk

Everybody has culture,In yoruba language 'how are u'means bawo ni?this sound saucy if u say it to your mate never to talk of someone who is older than u.

i said how are you to someone a while ago and she said " you are not supposed to say that to your senior" is it bad to want to know about the welfare of someone older than you?

Abujafood: Don't mind people and their shallow reasoning!

How are you just means hope you're doing good, any harm in asking? That is how they say you must not use your left hand to give or collect something as if the left hand was not created by God!

abiiiii ooooo bros abeg god go bless u

POSTER! A frustrated person is easy to identify. By watching such a Person's reaction, when you give out the greeting "HOW ARE YOU" will make give him/her out because he/she will flare up and he sees that as a provocation. The ones who taught and introduce English Language to us, the Oyinbos knew its importance but it is a pity that we nigerians misconstrued its meanings.

Mrs..Chima:
This Negro Koyoke.

Hey you!

A few years ago, some lady from another African country responded to my greeting by saying "Are you behaving yourself?"

I was surprised and asked why she asked that..since we were not that close and i'd never 'misbehaved' in front of her. She said it was just a simple form of greeting. I jokingly told her not to greet typical Nigerians like that next time cos they might not take it lightly. LOL

I think it's just english language.

what about 'how do you do?' ..do you respond with a slap?

Ogas at the top!!

As I was reading through this thread, a man walked into my office and because he's slightly older than I am I did not wait for his greeting before I said a warm 'good afternoon sir' and the best he could say to me was a condescending 'how are you' in return! I think curtsey demands that he says a correspoinding 'good afternoon' before proceeding to ask how I am.

Now, to everyone who has said that asking 'how are you?' is simply checking on that person, I want to disagree with you pls. The tone with which some people asks you will reveal that they don't really care how you actually are, all they are trying to do is 'put you down'. I will take it if you first say good morning/day/whatever first and then ask the 'how are you?' question. Personally I wouldn't greet anyone that way safe kids of course. And if I must, I'll caringly and carefully look into your eyes and with interest ask you 'how are you?' in a way that'll show that I truly care.

kokoye:

Hey you!

Hey suga. You know you have to be selective who you approach and speak to. Not everyone is approachable or friendly.

There's actually a guy in my office that is fond of doing that ^{(perhaps he's even the OP} ) and I dey show the guy no be small . He's favourite way of greeting is that 'how are you' thingy, can you imagine and he's one Arokian (ara oke) that ought to know better. Anytime he says it to me I just give it back to him sharply and without interest 'how are you' with a straight face. In no time he adjusted himself and these says he flashes a sheepish grin and says good morning and waka pass, I no send.

The same goes with the BAWO NI stuff, you can say that to your peers and subordinates but not to an elderly/superior person, nay, our culture forbids it. Call me oldskul, yes I'm proudly one. Also, much has to do with the attitude that accompanies the greeting. People who carelessly use the two ways of greeting use it with a tone of condescension. Can your mother call you on the fone and you ask her SALAFIA NI? You'd rather say SALAFIA LE WA (MA). She, being older is authorized to use the former, garrit?

Mrs.Chima:


Hey suga. You know you have to be selective who you approach and speak to. Not everyone is approachable or friendly.

You are right.

...that's why i stopped speaking to you

On a serious note though, I honestly dont say how are you to anybody except they say it to me first. Then i respond with the same question. No harm done.

Our people are just tooooo sensitive...moi included!

how's the family?

yorubas will say:'pele lako o labo'.. this invariably means: there's a positive(warm) 'sorry' as well as a negative(mean) one!
if u greet me by saying 'how are you', and i sense ur intention is to make me feel inferior, i'll feel embarrased and so may not respond because this is the case with so many nigerians when they greet u that way. if the context is pure, i'll respond warm-heartedly with a smile.

Lets face it. In today's Nigeria telling a guy who is either older, a contemporary or even a subordinate but an adult 'how are you' is derisive and belittling. Please dont do it if you truly mean well. You are rubbing him the wrong way whether he gives a polite response or not.

I will tell a guy 'How are you' if I genuinely hate his gut and I know there is nothing he can do about it. And I usually will not give a damn about his reply.

I am not sure how gender affects the equation bc I cant remember any girl telling me how are you even while in school. I suppose the reaction may not be entirely the same but she had better be crazily, insanely beautiful. And volouptous. Otherwise I will kick her to the gutter.

Its rude if you are not really asking because youcare and waiting to hear the answer. If you ask how are you as you breeze past without caring about the persons reply its rudeno matterif the person is youngerthan you

i cant understand why peeps equate cultural idiosyncrasies with backward mentality.

in Nigeria how are you is not accepted from junior to elder. live with it and stop calling it a backward mentality. I would accept that from my western colleagues but not from a nigerian bred in nigeria.

You know westerners see how was your night as rude even though we have no issue with it in naija. different strokes for different folks eh. it is not about being backward.