I have a boyfriend who grew up
with me. His name
is Vin. I always thought of him as a
friend
until last year, when we went to a
trip from a club. I found that I fell in
love with him.
Before that
trip was over, I took a step and
confessed my love
for him. And soon, we became a
pair of lovers, but we loved each other
in
different ways. I
always concentrated on him only,
but by
his side, there were so many
other girls. To me, he was the only one,
but to him,
maybe I was just
another girl…
"Vin, do you want to go watch a
movie?" I asked.
"I can't" "Why? You need to study at
home?"
I felt
disappointment grabbing me.
"No… I am going to meet a
friend…"
He was always like that. He met girls in
front of
me, like it was nothing. To him, I
was just a
girlfriend. The word 'love' only
came out from my
mouth. Since I knew him, I had never
heard him
say 'I love you' before. To us,
there weren't any
anniversaries at all. He didn't say
anything from
the first day and it continued till 100
days…
200days… Everyday, before we
say goodbye, he
would just hand me a doll,
everyday, without fail. I
don't know why… Then one day…
Me: Um, Vin, I …
Vin: What…don't drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Vin: ……you….um, just take this
doll and go home. That was how he
ignored my
'three words' and
handed me the doll. Then he
disappeared, like he
was running away. The dolls I
received from him everyday, filled my
room, one by
one. There were
many…Then one day came, my 18th year
old birthday.
When I got up in the morning, I
pictured a party
with him, and stranded myself in
my room, waiting
for his call. But… lunch passed,
dinner passed…
and soon the sky was dark… he still
didn't call. It
was already tiring to look at the
phone anymore.
Then around 2am in the morning,
he suddenly
called me and woke me from my sleep.
He told me
to come out of the house. Still, I felt
joy and I ran
out happily.
Me: Vin…
Vin: Here…take this… Again, he handed
me a little doll.
Me: What's this?
Vin: I didn't give it to you
yesterday, so I am giving
it to you now. I'm going And after spending two months
like a
crazy person… I
took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left
me since the day
we started going out. I remembered the
days I
spent with him and started to
count the days…
when we were in love…
"One…two… three…" That was
how… I started to count the dolls…
"Four hundred and eighty four…
four hundred and
eighty five…" It all ended with 485
dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll
in my arms. I
hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
"I love you~, I love you~" I
dropped the dolls,
shocked.
"I….lo..ve…you??" I picked up the dolls
and
pressed its stomach.
"I love you~ I love you~" It can't
be! I pressed all
the dolls' stomach as it piled on the
side. "I love you~"
"I love you~"
"I love you~"
Those words came out non-stop.
I…love you…
Why didn't I realize that….That his
heart was
always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I
realize that he love me this much…
I took out the
doll under the bed and pressed it's
stomach, that
was the last doll, the one that fell
on the road. It
had his blood stain on it. The voice
came out, the
on that I was missing so much… "Jo…
Do you know what today is?
We've been
loving each other for 486 days. Do
you know what
486 is? I couldn't say I love you….
Um… since I was too shy… If you
forgive me
and take this doll,
I will say that I love you…
everyday… till I die…
Jo… I love you…"
The tears came flowing out of me.
Why? Why? I
asked god, why do I only know
about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he
loved me until his
last minute… For that… and for that
reason… to
me… it became
courage… to live a beautiful life…

Nice,

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