Do i accept any grown kids adopted by my mum in the name of my father's infidelity? We are 9 children;3 gals,4 boys and 2 adopted twins(boys) already and she wants 2 bring home des grown ups;a gal of 25yrs,a boy of 22yrs and a gal of 19yrs old kids 4m my dad's concubine. Gosh!Pls,your candid advise will be appreciated.

if i ,may ask what is ur mum's take on it first? why does she want to adopt her husband;s kids?

We asked her,she said she wants 2 adopt dem. Her reason z not genuine 2 us. I think shez not in her right mind cos nobody z @ home wt her except ma dad.3 of us are married,odas are in skl. I think my dad has a hand in dis. Cos he has been saying dis and we kicked against it a long tym ago. My mum z d breadwinner of d house. I wonder how she accepted 2 do dis

How did this happen
since most of u are already married, I will suggest u guys let ur mum do what she wants to do if that's what makes her happy.
By now ur mums happiness should be priority.
I think there is so much that ur parents has not told u.

@onye ego,dis whole issue z heart broken. How can we allow my mum 2 mother kids who der mum z alive,whole and hearthy. How can dat be? Gosh!

In my own opinion, i think your mum knows what shes doing, i think(i may be wrong anyway) shes trying to secure your future. When all of you turn out good in the nearest future and your step siblings are not, they start coming to you for assistance of various forms, and by then, it may be like they are disturbing you, so, your mum is trying to nurture (train)them in order not to be dependent on you people in the future. So, for this reason, i think you need to let her be.
May God help her and all of us.

@greatgod2012,tnx very much. U are on point. God bless u and all dat contributed. We will let her be.

greatgod2012: In my own opinion, i think your mum knows what shes doing, i think(i may be wrong anyway) shes trying to secure your future. When all of you turn out good in the nearest future and your step siblings are not, they start coming to you for assistance of various forms, and by then, it may be like they are disturbing you, so, your mum is trying to nurture (train)them in order not to be dependent on you people in the future. So, for this reason, i think you need to let her be.
May God help her and all of us.

That may be true but what if the parents demselves are not secure... that means the kids will have 2 extra mouths in addition to their own parents


OP.
How old are these kids... and if ur mum has accepted them, can she render help from afar
Also you guys need to know why ur mum wants to bring them in
is she bored?

My mum is not bored. She is a busy woman. I guess its pressure 4m my dad. D kids are 25yrs,22yrs and 19yrs respectively. We are scared knowing how dark a man's heart can be. Make dem no kill my mum 4 us and divert her wealth. Am still wondering why she wants 2 do dis cos its absurd. She has been kicking against it right 4m tym then why now?

My mum is not bored. She is a busy woman. I guess its pressure 4m my dad. D kids are 25yrs,22yrs and 19yrs respectively. We are scared knowing how dark a man's heart can be. Make dem no kill my mum 4 us and divert her wealth. Am still wondering why she wants 2 do dis cos its absurd cos she has been kicking against it right 4m tym then why now?

Let's be clear first:
Adopt: signing papers to make them her "legal children"

Is your mom adopting them or just bringing them back into the house?
Where have they been staying and what do they do?

You've stressed so much on your moms "wealth" et all, why do u think they are interested in her money? They survived 19,25 years of their lives without ur moms money. Stop yhe paranoia , keep an open mind and maybe, just maybe, your mom would tell you why she's bringing them home.

Kids of 25yrs, 22yrs and 19yrs? I think they are old enough to live alone. But if your mom insists on adopting them, just let her do what she likes.

@ify maybe the mums wealth is not as much to cater for the maum and dad sef and there is a possibility that the responsibility will be theirs. I think the concerns are legitimate.

I think the mums motive of adopting them is still vague considering they are old enough

OP you may need to provide more info on these kids
Are they in school or are they struggling if you get what I mean

Who stands to gain whaat is what you should analyse.

Then you know your answer

My dear,
Does it mean dat my dad z been applauded on his irresponsible act? My mum has not finish taking care of my sibblings moreorless to take care of additional 3 grown ups. D kids dat dey hid 4m her 4 yrs b/4 revealing dem 2 her. @ifyalways,if u were in my mum's shoes,would u accept such fate? Its not dat d kids mum z dead or ill. I think derz more 2 dis dan just d adoption.

@OP- I applaud your mum on this rare step she wants to take. Its heartwarming to know that such a brave loving woman still exists. Pls open your heart and show love to your brother & sisters cos you can never deny their existence. She has taken the right step in the right direction by trying to bring the family together in unity & you & your siblings should emulate her. I dont see any negative thoughts in her actions just LOVE & MATURITY!!!.

Who adopts 25, 22 and 19 yr old kids of their husband's concubine and rival? This is very weird. It's not like they're helpless young children who suddenly lost their mother. If she wants them to come and live with their father, that's bad enough, but to want to adopt them? It's simply weird. Only way for OP to unravel and possibly influence all of this is to delve into the real reason for it all with your parents.

Wait, did you just say the kids' mother is not dead or ill? Curiouser and curiouser!!

OP, please stop confusing yourself.
Your mom is NOT adopting anyone. She's merely giving her consent for ur step siblings to come home. It could be her arrangement with your dad ie that they come home after X years.
Btw, is their mom re-married?
I don't see any "strange" factor with children deciding to come back to their fathers house.

@ ileobataojo,tnx 4 ur understanding. It is 2 weird. @Ifyalways,d woman was married by an old woman in d village so dat her linage will not be closed after loosing his son.@ popsicle,dis step z not a step of Love and Maturity cos after adopting d kids,its hard 4 d kids 2 4get d real owner whom dey've known all des yrs so i stand and watch dis folly. It is a game,i believe. With tym,i pray e/thing will come out cos derz nothing hidden under d sun

ifyalways: OP, please stop confusing yourself.
Your mom is NOT adopting anyone. She's merely giving her consent for ur step siblings to come home. It could be her arrangement with your dad ie that they come home after X years.
Btw, is their mom re-married?
I don't see any "strange" factor with children deciding to come back to their fathers house.

madam, pls, I sent you a message. You've got mail. Respond pls. Thanks

slimmy05: madam, pls, I sent you a message. You've got mail. Respond pls. Thanks

Oga, I didn't see it.
My email address is ifyalways at gmail.

slimmy05: madam, pls, I sent you a message. You've got mail. Respond pls. Thanks

Oga, I didn't see it.
My email address is ifyalways at gmail.

Poster,it seems ur mum takes d final decision in ur house.as u all r grown ups,I expected her to consult and listen to her kids first in a matter like this.is it bc she is d breadwinner?women! Assumin she can barely sustain family will she still go ahead with this?
It all depends on ur culture.if ur pple can accept an illegitimate child,all good but if they cannot and u guys r not comfortable with it,involve ur pple.
Truth be told,she didn't do well.
Then again,r those children(?) From d same mum? Did d mum abandon then somewhere and then marry? Do their mum's pple reject illegitimate children? R they being stigmatised? These r ?s ur mum should hv answered from u guys so that even if they r finally adopted,u guys will lv them unconditionally.
I hope I make sense.

Breeposh: @onye ego,dis whole issue z heart broken. How can we allow my mum 2 mother kids who der mum z alive,whole and hearthy. How can dat be? Gosh!

Hello OP am disturbed by this quote...
These 'kids' are your siblings as well they are your half brother and sister, why not treat them as your full brothers, no segmentation. Your dad blood flow in them.
Love them as you love your siblings