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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage (20370 Views)
Causes Of Infidelity In Marriages / What Drives Infidelity In Married Women? / Infidelity In A New Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by parki: 2:54pm On May 31, 2013 |
Ever noticed that people who lend advise on how to have a successful marriage, are people who have been in failed marriages? Marriage is an ongoing struggle between a man and a woman, and everyday you learn new things about ur partner. there is no book that can teach you that. So the creator of this thread is a joker. 2 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Beync(f): 2:56pm On May 31, 2013 |
It takes the fear of God and true love you have for ur spouse to remain faithful to you partner most men you see who flirts around with dirty ugly girls are married to beautiful sexy women 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Decryptor(m): 2:57pm On May 31, 2013 |
Is No.2 applicable to only the men? |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by StepG: 3:07pm On May 31, 2013 |
tbaba1234: It is not uncommon to find couples who genuinely love each other getting caught up in a web of deceit and infidelity. As much as we are emotionally tied to our spouses, the truth is that it takes more than that to stay faithful. Couples make the same mistakes over and over again, then they wonder :How did it all go wrong? |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by lafile(m): 3:07pm On May 31, 2013 |
Is it me? Or was this article (wonderful as it is) written under the impression that only married men cheat? I know a few married women ACTIVELY cheating. 2 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by parki: 3:09pm On May 31, 2013 |
qw |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tpia5: 3:09pm On May 31, 2013 |
devour129: I remember one story my aunt told us about her hubby,she is also of the school of tot to dress sexy and smell like Chanel for her hubby all the time.she did this for months after her marriage ,they had there routine "sex" and there was never any wow moment . One day she went to d salon and finished late ,she got home started making bitter leaf soup in her kaftan and finished late so both her and d house was smelling of OGIRI ,for d first time,she wasn't able to take her bath and air the house before her hubby came back but she said that was the first day her hubby bleeped her like she wanted it.NOTE :she was wearing an un sexy kaftan,she was naked under her kaftan,she was smelling of Ogiri and bitter leaf n that turned d guy on so bad.the point is learn who you live with ,everyone have there own story and how they react to things . If you want to follow these rules please do but don't see it as the only way to stop fidelity. Just do your best,do unto others what you would like them to do to u and be happy !!!!! If you always find the good side of everything and smile,believe you are going to have a happy marriage. smelling of ogiri and bitter leaf, lmao una too much abeg, see story, lol |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tpia5: 3:11pm On May 31, 2013 |
parki: By design, a man was created to cheat. seriously, if i were a man, i'd find statements like these so offensive? maybe i dont get such things because i'm weird sha. 2 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tpia5: 3:11pm On May 31, 2013 |
Beync: It takes the fear of God and true love you have for ur spouse to remain faithful to you partner true that 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Nobody: 3:27pm On May 31, 2013 |
Decryptor: Is No.2 applicable to only the men? You dey mind them? "For the man" indeed. Yet when some men insist on the need for their wives to cut off all links with so-called "male friends", you would see the women spewing rubbish about how 'insecure' or 'possessive' the men are. Then again, the more 'secure' husbands there are, the happier many men like us ( who prefer eating forbidden fruits) would be. The easiest wives to bed are those who have deludedly "secure" husbands. Insecure husbands make the game deadlier and more risky. 4 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Yasmeena(f): 3:37pm On May 31, 2013 |
alutacontinua: I DON'T AGREE WITH MOST OF THE THINGS UP THERE!U got d msg all wrong, d OP's post is only highlighting how discipline should b enforced.. It will take a disciplined person 2 b able 2 follow tru all d above pointers.. So, OP's on point. 2 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Nobody: 3:49pm On May 31, 2013 |
. 4 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Nobody: 3:53pm On May 31, 2013 |
Gbam!!! Beync: It takes the fear of God and true love you have for ur spouse to remain faithful to you partner 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tpia5: 4:01pm On May 31, 2013 |
sanb: @Op fair points; but needless to say that a person who’ll cheat would still cheat even with all these points you’ve listed as prevention/s. It takes more than these points you’ve mentioned to hinder a married man/woman to stay faithful/loyal to their spouse. I always recant the 2 points below; i dont even see why the need for so much sentiment per se. if you consider the fact that someone encouraging you to cheat may actually have been sent by the witches in your village as part of their mission to destroy you, would cheating look so attractive and like a do or die affair? |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by crackhaus: 4:06pm On May 31, 2013 |
Why don't the husbands & wives just do blood-covenant between them cos as e be so, infidelity is 'ALMOST' a sure thing in this time & age, with young girls running around in thigh & cleavage revealing outfits...the young men themselves becoming smoother and more sophisticated in their approach and all. So yeah, infidelity won't be banished from existence by setting rules or by believing in so-called discipline, discipline is not the name of a person carrying koboko to flog indiscipline. If you're lucky to have had a successful marriage/relationship so far, that's great & you're LUCKY but if its the other case & you did all you could do humanely possibly, and that marriage still went awry, then please maybe that's not the marriage providence wanted for you. Imagine this; does anyone think for a second that if polygamy became a normal civilized thing, there would be any man married to only one woman? Ok maybe there would be but I assure you the probability of that exception will be 3 in 10, meaning 7 out of 10 men will practise polygamy openly if it became a civilized societal norm. As for women who have extra-marital affairs, well I can't analyse that cos there's a ton of reasons A4-paper size why women do, its just sex for men...yes we're that simple |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by dammytosh: 4:06pm On May 31, 2013 |
vii.) Stop all that privacy nonsense. We are talking about your husband and wife here. Have access to all his/her accounts. Twitter, facebook, yahoo , bb etc and read his/her chats at will. Smart guys/ladies usually start from this platform and they will get him/her down. (HELP YOUR PARTNER). Most times, the bedding game starts online. Your husband is a serial CHEAT if his phone is locked and there is a standing rule of don't touch my phone. You are not allowed to pick his calls if he does not want it cos it might be annoying to his boss if he called, but read his texts and read it out to his/her hearing before handing over the phone. Build a relationship and be that close and make sure you act maturely when those texts are not palatable. You are now 1 no longer 2. NOTE : I meant MARRIED PEEPS. 5 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by notinmege: 4:07pm On May 31, 2013 |
HARDDON: this is one eye opener! Funny you. How did u manage to see those bigger than bedspread? HARDON was that when you started cheating ur woman? Speak out, lol! 3 Likes |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tpia5: 4:09pm On May 31, 2013 |
crackhaus: with young girls running around in thigh & cleavage revealing outfits...the young men themselves becoming smoother and more sophisticated in their approach and all. well, everybody has to manage each other, or what to do? the women insist on their right to wear nudie dressing and the men insist on their own right to use women anyhow. its just something we all have to learn to live with. of course marriage has to give way but the earth will not stop turning on that account. 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Gunzilla(m): 4:14pm On May 31, 2013 |
Like a lot of pple,this list is absolutely rubbish..no disrespect to the author,cos i know he means well.. Like a lot of pple,this list is absolutely rubbish..no disrespect to the author,cos i know he means well...There are no rules to fidelity/infidelity.We live in a society where infidelity on the part of the man is seen as not being a big deal,and a lot of pple frew up in polygamous homes..so men are condtitioned to cheat.Some of the rules...segregate a house party Like seriously ?? Why have go to a party in the first place ?? So i have told my sis in law so many times that if she thinks policing her husband is gonna stop him from cheating shes just wasting her time.. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by passionate88: 4:27pm On May 31, 2013 |
devour129: I remember one story my aunt told us about her hubby,she is also of the school of tot to dress sexy and smell like Chanel for her hubby all the time.she did this for months after her marriage ,they had there routine "sex" and there was never any wow moment . One day she went to d salon and finished late ,she got home started making bitter leaf soup in her kaftan and finished late so both her and d house was smelling of OGIRI ,for d first time,she wasn't able to take her bath and air the house before her hubby came back but she said that was the first day her hubby bleeped her like she wanted it.NOTE :she was wearing an un sexy kaftan,she was naked under her kaftan,she was smelling of Ogiri and bitter leaf n that turned d guy on so bad.the point is learn who you live with ,everyone have there own story and how they react to things . If you want to follow these rules please do but don't see it as the only way to stop fidelity. Just do your best,do unto others what you would like them to do to u and be happy !!!!! If you always find the good side of everything and smile,believe you are going to have a happy marriage.mayb na ur aunty wey dey turned on by the ogiri n bitter leaf scent, that's why her hormones react like that so tey her head scatter, the husband just do wetin im dey normally do everyday. Na d secret b that, when ur aunty take her bath nd spray scent on her body nd house her hormones go shy, dm no go gree come out. (e funny). 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by ireneidiva(f): 4:51pm On May 31, 2013 |
Tbaba you make marriage seem like a bondage. Too many rules. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by loswhite(m): 4:54pm On May 31, 2013 |
alutacontinua: I DON'T AGREE WITH MOST OF THE THINGS UP THERE!you are missing the point |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Toks2008(m): 4:56pm On May 31, 2013 |
ii. Your spouse is your only friend from the opposite sex For the man, cut the phone calls with other women unless it STRICTLY has to do with business or work and does not go on for long periods, no text messages either. If she is not your wife, she is not your friend. That means you should not discuss private matters with other women. If you want to talk to a woman, talk to your mother or sister. Keep discussions with other women, straight to the point. This means no flirting AT ALL. You might think it is harmless but the lady might not feel the same way. You are only in charge of your emotions. The same applies to women, keep a stern voice if you need to. Keep discussions straight to the point and brief. Like they say, one thing leads to another. You don't want to start that 'one thing'. This point is the reason why im separated from my wife at the moment. She sees nothing wrong in keeping male friends while i keep telling her the inherent danger but she wont listen until i angrily smashed the android phone i got her when i saw some conversations between her and this supposed friend friend of hers with the guy telling her she would have loved to have her as his lady but she has been tied in both hands and legs depicting marriage. After smashing the phone, one thing led to another and she has to leave for her siter's place for over 4 months now. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by loswhite(m): 4:56pm On May 31, 2013 |
sholay2011:and also feel free to allow ur wife do d same |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Les: 4:59pm On May 31, 2013 |
alutacontinua: I DON'T AGREE WITH MOST OF THE THINGS UP THERE!I once said something like, I dont preach abstinence anymore, wat I teach is protection because abstinence is very impossible but protection is a real deal... Wen u are veryhorny, even if u are disciplined would do anything to quench those desires but on the process, u can tell d man(probably not ur spouse to atleast wear a condom if u are disciplined). My reason being that human feelings are very irrational, wat u tink u wont do is wat u see urself doing, it's even in d bible. Now back to d matter, if a man who's addicted to prostitutes gets married, I wont tell him to stop visiting prostitutes, but rather, he should see his wife as a one and d only one he would patronise. Haven't u seen disciplinarian cheat b4, disciplined or not, humans will surely cheat, so to me, d only ting that will prevent one from cheating is not to stop anything dat'll make dem to cheat, infaat, encourage everything dat'll make one to cheat BUT channel all of them to ur spouse and cheat on ur spouse with ur spouse... I hope my theory makes sense.... |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tbaba1234: 5:03pm On May 31, 2013 |
Toks2008: I don't understand why people make this mistake, you are married for goodness sake. Even if nothing is 'going on', it leads to too much bad blood. 1 Like |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by loswhite(m): 5:03pm On May 31, 2013 |
*Kails*:lol... @ deal with the aftermath.prevention is better than cure. So the real issue is prevention |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by loswhite(m): 5:14pm On May 31, 2013 |
Les: I once said something like, I dont preach abstinence anymore, wat I teach is protection because abstinence is very impossible but protection is a real deal...dumb |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by tbaba1234: 5:18pm On May 31, 2013 |
lafile: Is it me? Or was this article (wonderful as it is) written under the impression that only married men cheat? I know a few married women ACTIVELY cheating. All the points apply to both parties. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by olymurphy(f): 5:35pm On May 31, 2013 |
[quote author=alutacontinua]I DON'T AGREE WITH MOST OF THE THINGS UP THERE! THE ONLY THING THAT PREVENTS INFIDELITY IS DISCIPLINE, PERIOD! If you're not ready to discipline yourself, if you like, pick a race when you see somebody with boob*s and yansh, your legs would just fail to work one day [/quote] I agree with you . my friend does all this things for the husband yet he cheats on her. |
Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Nobody: 5:36pm On May 31, 2013 |
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Re: Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage by Nobody: 5:38pm On May 31, 2013 |
Toks2008: In your own best interest, initiate divorce proceedings ASAP. Or if possible, ensure that your separation is a permanent one. The alternative is to accept her back and settle for an open marriage arrangement. Understand this: 90% of women who keep male friends are as vulnerable or safe as the looks, wealth, charms, status, motives, overall seductive capital, and even integrity (or the lack thereof) of the so-called male friend permit. This means a husband that allows his wife to keep male friends can only HOPE that the male friend lacks what it takes to seduce his wife, or that he has no such motives or plans, or has sufficient integrity. In other words, your wife's (in)fidelity depends completely on another man. Not very comforting, is it? A skilled and/or well equipped marksman would always have his way with any married woman he is interested in who foolishly allows herself get close enough to him. Afterall, wax, regardless of how hard or unwilling or "disciplined" it is, would always melt to the ground if it comes close enough to intense heat. 1 Like |
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