Toks2008:
This point is the reason why im separated from my wife at the moment.

She sees nothing wrong in keeping male friends while i keep telling her the inherent danger but she wont listen until i angrily smashed the android phone i got her when i saw some conversations between her and this supposed friend friend of hers with the guy telling her she would have loved to have her as his lady but she has been tied in both hands and legs depicting marriage.

After smashing the phone, one thing led to another and she has to leave for her siter's place for over 4 months now.

Ain't you the same Toks on the other infidelity thread with about 15 great years of a happy marriage and the holy spirit turning you around inside-out?

@op, I repeat, some of your points there are just not making too much sense to me. eg. the part where you're supposed to segregate people in a party...what kinda tin is dt? Even those moslem women with their face covered from head-to-toe still do their thing if they want to. What are you now talking about? It takes a definite decision and determination coupled with the discipline in the mind of an individual not to do such things. Life is not black or white, if the person avoids all those things you mentioned, other means would open up to cheat. What does he do in such situations? Run back to the list to look for more? Also, the part about switching off your phone before you sleep...LIKE SERIOUSLY

The part about your best friend not being your spouse's friend or maybe it's the other way round, I don't agree with that bit too. So, because I don't want to cheat, I can't be friends with my husband's brother or friend.

I don't agree with the 2nd point too, my spouse is definitely gonna be my best friend but not my only friend of the opposite sex. So, because i'm married, i cannot talk to a man again. Ooooohhhhh plleeaassee!!!

Abeg, just free me of all those rules.

sanb: When a man/woman is born; cheating is not written on their fore-heads. A man/woman cheats because they want to not because they have to....so irrespective of the circumstances they find themselves in, when you consider both points I stated earlier on, then cheating won't look attractive neither would it be a do or die affair.....

We are saying the same thing, the only difference is imo being susceptible to flattery is a key factor in having a cheating mind.

But your enemies will also use the same method if they know it will get you.

However, if the man or woman who likes cheating, does not mind their ancestral enemy sending someone to help them with the habit, then good for them, afterall its their life to be lived as they wish.

The OP made some good points but he failed to mentioned the most important points of all.

The first thing he should have mentioned is to advice couples to have the fear of God in their lives.
It is God that keeps marriages together,not theories.

When the man makes up his mind ,as the head of the family, that his marriage will work,he will be prayerful and live by example.

When a man or a woman mistakinly marries someone who is sexually loose ,all the above theories will not help.It is only by prayer and reading the word of God together as a family, on a daily basis and using the words to correct yourselves that you can succeed.

I have been married for the past 20 years and looking back now,I can tell you that it is God that has been keeping us together as a family, despite several temptations.

Every home faces a spiritual attack from the devil. The devil knows the importance of marriages to the children's upbringing and the society at large.
So,when dealing with the devil,you have to bring in Someone who is more experienced and more powerful,that person is God Almighty.

Also,there most be determination from the couples that their marriage must succeed and prosper.
There are some men who do not really value a marriage, likewise some women.Some are ready to quite at d slightest provocation.
You must value and cherish your marriage for it to succeed.When you value your marriage,you will allow God to reign in that home.

God first,then those suggestions the O P gave and may be some additional ones,your marriage will succeed.

If you had multiple partners before marriage nothing can make you to be faithful to just one partner after marriage. Infact there's a high percentage of infidelity in couples who engage in premarital sex than those who do not.

True, its only God who can keep a marriage.

Now, having said that, we also have to address the question of why christians have so much trouble keeping their marriages when even stark unbelievers enjoy their own.

LOl at those who think relationship and infidelity has a formular

^Nothing is full-proof but if a couple can maintain a beautiful relationship and can stay away from things that would get them tempted or in its vicinity then there is a good chance that they would remain faithful to each other.

alutacontinua:


Ain't you the same Toks on the other infidelity thread with about 15 great years of a happy marriage and the holy spirit turning you around inside-out?

Yeah Bro.
people should not allow prejudice to come up when hey see someone making certain comments.

My case is enough to create a thread on but im only trying to be discreet about it.

I believe you are now getting the drift of why i make such comments.

Social networking sites is solely responsible for the present turmoil in my marriage.

No thanks to my wife or will i say no thanks to my anger too but im not blaming myself one bit.

I met this lady when she was 19 and i made her a woman.

We were always happy together because we were each other's best friends.

When she clocked 25, i married her and we still remained very happy together but i guess i made a mistake by getting her an android phone because being a pretty lady, many guys will certainly want to be her friends then a certain guy became a friend of hers and i kept warning her about the danger of having informal male friends but she claimed i was old fashioned.

Been a gentle man that i am, i simply gave her the warning. Though she claimed she was match making this guy for her friend, i was not comfortable with the guy referring to her by her maiden name but she also dismissed this issue.

The day came when i got curious and checked the watsup mesages and i found out that this guy have been making indirect passes at her and she was telling teh guy to google her zodiac if he wants to know more about her and that was it.''

I smashed the phone to pieces and things never remained the same. Even after the guy became my friend and apologised for what his friendship with my wife has caused, she just wont remain the same again and the heat just got so much that one thing led to the other and today we are separated.

I will not bother divorcing her because i have no viable ground.

I cant accuse her of adultery and yet she refused to file for divorce despite her leaving..

Its been since February since she left and honestly as a believer, i don't want to commit adultery or fornication but the passion is so so high.

I have tried to reconcile with her but she is just making things difficult. So you can imagine a lady i spent 12 years with acting this way so i really don't know what to do.

Toks2008:
Yeah Bro.
people should not allow prejudice to come up when hey see someone making certain comments.

My case is enough to create a thread on but im only trying to be discreet about it.

I believe you are now getting the drift of why i make such comments.

I'm not a bro. People should stop taking my username to automatically mean a 'bro'. For God's sake, there's a 'f' in front of the username.


Back to point, nawa for ur issue ooooo...but don't you think you're taking it too far? For God's sake, the man was hitting on her, not the other way round. A discussion could have been waaayyyy easier than allowing your anger take a hold of you. See what the anger has caused you now...Anyways, you didn't ask for an advice but I think you should sort things out. But stop using that your anger to make comments on Nairaland. I can now understand why you were really attacking bukatyne.

^ How will you feel if a woman was hitting on your husband and he keeps contact with her?

tbaba1234: ^ How will you feel if a woman was hitting on your husband and he keeps contact with her?

I'm not justifying the act but sometimes, it's better to settle things amicably than blowing it up. I don't think he has been able to achieve anything by the anger now, anyways. Sometimes, people don't see what they're doing as wrong until we try to explain things to them.

I also had a recent experience of something similar, although, not with a husband, I'M NOT MARRIED...didn't read much meaning into it until an explanation was given. Needless to say I deleted all the contacts of the person involved after a heart-to-heart talk, even though HE first went with the anger method, it didn't even change a thing cos I still continued to communicate with the other guy, I just didn't get why he was getting all tensed-up unnecesarily. But when HE calmed down and spoke to me normally, he didn't even need to sweat much before I did the right thing. ANGER IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO GO ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SENSITIVE ISSUE LIKE THIS! That's my point, most guys need to learn that.

alutacontinua:

I'm not a bro. People should stop taking my username to automatically mean a 'bro'. For God's sake, there's a 'f' in front of the username.


Back to point, nawa for ur issue ooooo...but don't you think you're taking it too far? For God's sake, the man was hitting on her, not the other way round. A discussion could have been waaayyyy easier than allowing your anger take a hold of you. See what the anger has caused you now...Anyways, you didn't ask for an advice but I think you should sort things out. But stop using that your anger to make comments on Nairaland. I can now understand why you were really attacking bukatyne.

My sister believe me, this lady happens to be the best thing that ever happened to me but at 30yrs she totally changed.

You may say i allowed my anger to take a toll on me but you may not understand the way we feel as men cos you are a woman.

At the initial stage i warned her that there is no friendship between a man and a married woman. If not formal friendship like co worker, class mate or business partner, there is no basis for any other friendship but she just will not understand claiming that she is used to male friends all her like.
When the guy started calling her her maiden name rather than use mrs, i complained yet she said i was old fashioned. So when i saw the resultant effect, i had no choice bit to get crazy.

Ok as if that was not enough, i stumbled across another crazy chat between another guy and my wife once more when the guy was asking my wife to make him cum so what about that? she also claimed the guy was naughty that she has no role to play in that.
When i saw that, i really lost it and called her crazy names, threw her things out but she still insisted that the guy was just too naughty that she was never a party to that but she was discussing with the guy that her marriage was shaky and this got me angry more.

So believe me, carelessness in making friends with opposite sex can destroy marriages.

She is now claiming that i ridiculed her in so many ways and i called her an adulteress even when she did noo such thing to warrant that name.

Believe me guys, im tired of this shit. Its like a crazy spirit has taking over her and some-times i wish i should just continue to pray for her and a times my bi polar disorder wants to make me hate her the more.

But the fact remains that i cant file for a divorce because its not worth the stress, yet i cant easily start dating another lady just like that.

For 12 years i have been loyal to this lady and i guess she has too but what is happening right now is something i cant decipher.

Marriage is not an easy institution. How do i begin after 12 years? but i don't have a choice here. I am so so pushed to the wall.

^ Well, i guess we have a case study.

I think mr Toks statement above lays credence to the original post. The easiest way to destroy a relationship is maintaining these outside 'friendships' with the opposite gender.

Before a man gets 'naughty' with a lady, she must have been too free with him... We have to learn to keep boundaries. Beyond professional relationships, a married man or woman has no business keeping friendships with the opposite gender outside marriage.

Ensure that there are boundaries.

Temptation is much easier than many people think. Most men do not keep relationships with women unless there is something to be gained.

tbaba1234: ^ Well, i guess we have a case study.

I think what mr Toks statement above lays credence to the original post. The easiest way to destroy a relationship is maintaining these outside 'friendships' with the opposite gender.

Before a man gets 'naughty' with a lady, she must have been too free with him... We have to learn to keep boundaries. Beyond professional relationships, a married man or woman has no business keeping friendships with the opposite gender outside marriage.

Ensure that there are boundaries .

That is just the truth.

Seems my wife enjoys the attention these men were giving her despite the one she gets at home. You know, something new, a feeling of overwhelming acceptance and that is where the problem begins with ladies especially. Not wanting to tell admirers off until they finally destroy their marriage.

Then they realize to late that these men are only after one thing and once they get it, they will be left in total regret.

Toks2008:
That is just the truth.

Seems my wife enjoys the attention these men were giving her despite the one she gets at home. You know, something new, a feeling of overwhelming acceptance and that is where the problem begins with ladies especially. Not wanting to tell admirers off until they finally destroy their marriage.

Then they realize to late that these men are only after one thing and once they get it, they will be left in total regret.

Agreed! Your wife didn't do what was best for her marriage but please, try and sort things out with her, okay?
You have to make her see reasons why what she did is wrong, that's the only way you can get a sincere apology and repentance from her. If she apologizes because you're angry or she just wants peace to reign, you would not be too pleased at the outcome of the apology. But if you can make her see things the way you're seeing it, that might not have to be through confrontations, that might be through a calm, loving and peaceful heart-to-heart discussion. If you over-reacted in anyway, try and apologize. Just let peace come back into your family...I apologize on her behalf, please! Call her and make your family great once again. Wish you best of luck!

Sometimes there is a bit of naivety amongst some females, thinking they can be 'just friends' with a man. It is pure deception.

This video illustrates why:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Ok, i really do believe its possible for opposite genders to be just friends, however the particular context i am referring to is before marriage, not after.

If you are married and you're getting too close to a member of the opposite sex, then imo you're only buying yourself trouble.

alutacontinua:

I'm not a bro. People should stop taking my username to automatically mean a 'bro'. For God's sake, there's a 'f' in front of the username.

that "f" na scam!!!!! U b full blooded MAN. U get am 4 abunna.

tbaba1234: ^ Well, i guess we have a case study.

I think mr Toks statement above lays credence to the original post. The easiest way to destroy a relationship is maintaining these outside 'friendships' with the opposite gender.

Before a man gets 'naughty' with a lady, she must have been too free with him... We have to learn to keep boundaries. Beyond professional relationships, a married man or woman has no business keeping friendships with the opposite gender outside marriage.

Ensure that there are boundaries.

Temptation is much easier than many people think. Most men do not keep relationships with women unless there is something to be gained.

All your points are home
My brother, you have said it all
I mean " Eré kí lajá békùn se? "
Leave all those who believe otherwise & let them be deceiving themselves
Self-Discipline & Fidelity are the foundation on which a good relationship stands
No matter how wonderful a person is, once integrity, self-discipline & fidelity are lacking, the remaining substance is just fake, amorphous chaffs

@ TOKS:
It's too saddening
I do not mean to be harsh but despite your wife's other good attributes, she appears not to be a wife material.
And I guess you didn't say here what actually got you pissed!
Which is the fact that she seemed to enjoy the side-relationship plus she isn't willing to stop/cut-off the relationships.
Maybe she's even still enjoying her communication with them!
Most ladies of today do not know what the sanctity of relationship means
It has made me to start questioning the maxim that " Men are naturally polygamous "
I think it is the other way round
I'm not here to discuss your private matters but this is worth learning
"Ögbón ológbón ni kò úñ jé ká pe àgbà ni wèrè"
God will give you wisdom to settle the dust

alutacontinua:

Agreed! Your wife didn't do what was best for her marriage but please, try and sort things out with her, okay?
You have to make her see reasons why what she did is wrong, that's the only way you can get a sincere apology and repentance from her. If she apologizes because you're angry or she just wants peace to reign, you would not be too pleased at the outcome of the apology. But if you can make her see things the way you're seeing it, that might not have to be through confrontations, that might be through a calm, loving and peaceful heart-to-heart discussion. If you over-reacted in anyway, try and apologize. Just let peace come back into your family...I apologize on her behalf, please! Call her and make your family great once again. Wish you best of luck!

Thanks for this great advice.

Honestly i love her no doubt yet i can't be a push over. The only saving grace she has is because i fear GOD and abhor sin like shit hence with all these luscious billions of ladies out there, she dares not try leaving her home for even one month let alone over 4 months and still counting.

The Bible has vindicated me anyway

1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace.

I cant wait forever. Who knows whether she is already having her fill with someone else. As for me, i will get myself a sweet young lady. I cant wait any longer.

tpia@:
Ok, i really do believe its possible for opposite genders to be just friends, however the particular context i am referring to is before marriage, not after.

If you are married and you're getting too close to a member of the opposite sex, then imo you're only buying yourself trouble.

Tpia@:

Discipline is not exclusive to marriage alone
It is needed in all forms of relationships
That's why one should look well before he/she commits
Once you feel it is not worth it, quickly get out & be open, plain & candid

MOBBDEEP:

All your points are home
My brother, you have said it all
I mean " Eré kí lajá békùn se? "
Leave all those who believe otherwise & let them be deceiving themselves
Self-Discipline & Fidelity are the foundation on which a good relationship stands
No matter how wonderful a person is, once integrity, self-discipline & fidelity are lacking, the remaining substance is just fake, amorphous chaffs

@ TOKS:
It's too saddening
I do not mean to be harsh but despite your wife's other good attributes, she appears not to be a wife material.
And I guess you didn't say here what actually got you pissed!
Which is the fact that she seemed to enjoy the side-relationship plus she isn't willing to stop/cut-off the relationships.
Maybe she's even still enjoying her communication with them!
Most ladies of today do not know what the sanctity of relationship means
It has made me to start questioning the maxim that " Men are naturally polygamous "
I think it is the other way round
I'm not here to discuss your private matters but this is worth learning
"Ögbón ológbón ni kò úñ jé ká pe àgbà ni wèrè"
God will give you wisdom to settle the dust

This was the exact word i used. " Eré kí lajá békùn se? " but i guess she is too naive. She has not been used and dumped by men so she is still thinking there is something better out there.

What do you expect from A lady a man met at 19yrs? she will definitely feel caged and want to explore the world not even minding she is already married.

For me, no divorce and i hope it will not be too late for her to come back to her senses.

As for me, i don try.

HARDDON: this is one eye opener!

Number three especially makes ma d1ck weak.

baffles me how they all go wet and wavy when you guys were still dating and all of a sudden , because you are now married, feel they can tie wrapper in you home! yuck.

and as Goddons jokingly said, though very true, they go wearing pants that are larger than bedspread. hang two on a drying line, and the line is totally occupied. they totally forget there is something called sexy lingerie in dah shopping mall.

.....tell them also, that gone are the days men go happy to see their wifys all full and round. that is no evidence of gud living no more. hit the gym

.....tell the newly wed that the first pregnancy period is a trying time. they should as much as they could let the man have a feel. because, most cheating start at this very times. the wify locks up, his third leg wano offload and bliv me, there are always alternatives out there.

good advice for the females.now what's your advice for the males?

I think cheating is innate each and every one of us, whether we choose to express this absolutely normal evolutionary trait depends on several external factors e.g. upbringing, spirituality, socio-cultural factors e.t.c.

Toks am so sorry for what you are passing through. It is a thing of glory when a man says he has been faithful ever since he married his wife, except if you are lying. Honestly such virtue glorifies God, making him feel pleased. Coming to your wife issue, she made a very silly mistake. A married man or woman is suppose to becareful on the kind of opposite sex they chat with. These days both men and women lack self control and this is one of the reasons why cheating is increasing day by day. You need to take some proactive steps. Meet a genuine and true man of God to assist you. Waiting for your wife to return to you might never come to manifestation. And she can still remarry , so can you but if you both get remarried to various partners, then you both have signed a contract into adulterous marriage because your wife never had sex with her male friend neither were you unfaithful to her. Matthew 19 vs 9. You must becareful for the sake of your salvation. You need to resolve this case with wisdom and fear of God which you made mentioned that you have. Please don't commit adultery with any lady. There are nemesis to it. You may contract the spirit of unfaithfulness from a woman which will hold you in captivity thereby making it so hard and impossible for you to be a faithful husband again, you will be establishing negative soul ties also through sleeping with another girl which will later require serious deliverance, you will be pushing away the face and spirit of God from your life, you might end up having a possessed girl on your bed which may endanger your business,career, job, future, family . This is a trail for you, don't be defeated.

Toks am so sorry for what you are passing through. It is a thing of glory when a man says he has been faithful ever since he married his wife, except if you are lying. Honestly such virtue glorifies God, making him feel pleased. Coming to your wife issue, she made a very silly mistake. A married man or woman is suppose to becareful on the kind of opposite sex they chat with. These days both men and women lack self control and this is one of the reasons why cheating is increasing day by day. You need to take some proactive steps. Meet a genuine and true man of God to assist you. Waiting for your wife to return to you might never come to manifestation. And she can still remarry , so can you but if you both get remarried to various partners, then you both have signed a contract into adulterous marriage because your wife never had sex with her male friend neither were you unfaithful to her. Matthew 19 vs 9. Also your wife is not an unbeliever. You really need to ask your pastor the meaning of an unbeliever so don't use that satisfy your conscience or justify your unscriptural motives and plots. You must becareful for the sake of your salvation. You need to resolve this case with wisdom and fear of God which you made mentioned that you have. Please don't commit adultery with any lady. There are nemesis to it. You may contract the spirit of unfaithfulness from a woman which will hold you in captivity thereby making it so hard and impossible for you to be a faithful husband again, you will be establishing negative soul ties also through sleeping with another girl which will later require serious deliverance, you will be pushing away the face and spirit of God from your life, you might end up having a possessed girl on your bed which may endanger your business,career, job, future, family . This is a trail for you, don't be defeated.

pro01:

In your own best interest, initiate divorce proceedings ASAP. Or if possible, ensure that your separation is a permanent one. The alternative is to accept her back and settle for an open marriage arrangement.

Understand this: 90% of women who keep male friends are as vulnerable or safe as the looks, wealth, charms, status, motives, overall seductive capital, and even integrity (or the lack thereof) of the so-called male friend permit. This means a husband that allows his wife to keep male friends can only HOPE that the male friend lacks what it takes to seduce his wife, or that he has no such motives or plans, or has sufficient integrity. In other words, your wife's (in)fidelity depends completely on another man. Not very comforting, is it?

A skilled and/or well equipped marksman would always have his way with any married woman he is interested in who foolishly allows herself get close enough to him. Afterall, wax, regardless of how hard or unwilling or "disciplined" it is, would always melt to the ground if it comes close enough to intense heat.

lemme get this straight.he should divorce the wife cos she has an admirer.lol
That's so dumb an advice.
I think your advice should be to the wife,she has to be careful not to exceed the boundaries of platonic friendship
As for the husband,he's just over-reacting.he should even be happy someone wishes to have what he has.that's why he should treat her like a Queen.I'm sure if he's married to one ugly undesirable woman,he mighta started looking outside(that's if he's not doing it already)

Toks2008:

My sister believe me, this lady happens to be the best thing that ever happened to me but at 30yrs she totally changed.

You may say i allowed my anger to take a toll on me but you may not understand the way we feel as men cos you are a woman.

At the initial stage i warned her that there is no friendship between a man and a married woman. If not formal friendship like co worker, class mate or business partner, there is no basis for any other friendship but she just will not understand claiming that she is used to male friends all her like.
When the guy started calling her her maiden name rather than use mrs, i complained yet she said i was old fashioned. So when i saw the resultant effect, i had no choice bit to get crazy.

Ok as if that was not enough, i stumbled across another crazy chat between another guy and my wife once more when the guy was asking my wife to make him cum so what about that? she also claimed the guy was naughty that she has no role to play in that.
When i saw that, i really lost it and called her crazy names, threw her things out but she still insisted that the guy was just too naughty that she was never a party to that but she was discussing with the guy that her marriage was shaky and this got me angry more.

So believe me, carelessness in making friends with opposite sex can destroy marriages.

She is now claiming that i ridiculed her in so many ways and i called her an adulteress even when she did noo such thing to warrant that name.

Believe me guys, im tired of this shit. Its like a crazy spirit has taking over her and some-times i wish i should just continue to pray for her and a times my bi polar disorder wants to make me hate her the more.

But the fact remains that i cant file for a divorce because its not worth the stress, yet i cant easily start dating another lady just like that.

For 12 years i have been loyal to this lady and i guess she has too but what is happening right now is something i cant decipher.

Marriage is not an easy institution. How do i begin after 12 years? but i don't have a choice here. I am so so pushed to the wall.

you guyz need to go see a therapist.though I admit your wife was wrong in discussing intimate issue with a man that isn't her husband.you need a class in anger management.she need s a class in self carriage and comportment.but I can't say I know better,y'all older than I am and more experienced,this is just what I think

Princess zoe: Toks am so sorry for what you are passing through. It is a thing of glory when a man says he has been faithful ever since he married his wife, except if you are lying. Honestly such virtue glorifies God, making him feel pleased. Coming to your wife issue, she made a very silly mistake. A married man or woman is suppose to becareful on the kind of opposite sex they chat with. These days both men and women lack self control and this is one of the reasons why cheating is increasing day by day. You need to take some proactive steps. Meet a genuine and true man of God to assist you. Waiting for your wife to return to you might never come to manifestation. And she can still remarry , so can you but if you both get remarried to various partners, then you both have signed a contract into adulterous marriage because your wife never had sex with her male friend neither were you unfaithful to her. Matthew 19 vs 9. Also your wife is not an unbeliever. You really need to ask your pastor the meaning of an unbeliever so don't use that satisfy your conscience or justify your unscriptural motives and plots. You must becareful for the sake of your salvation. You need to resolve this case with wisdom and fear of God which you made mentioned that you have. Please don't commit adultery with any lady. There are nemesis to it. You may contract the spirit of unfaithfulness from a woman which will hold you in captivity thereby making it so hard and impossible for you to be a faithful husband again, you will be establishing negative soul ties also through sleeping with another girl which will later require serious deliverance, you will be pushing away the face and spirit of God from your life, you might end up having a possessed girl on your bed which may endanger your business,career, job, future, family . This is a trail for you, don't be defeated.

Honestly you just wrote out my mind and im tripping that this is coming from a lady..

This is the reason why i have remained so faithful for years even till now and i have no need to lie as no one will hold me to ransom.

I am also a very attractive young man and also get passes from ladies too but as i wrote, the fear of GOD in me is so so strong that even i marvel so i expect same from her.

At a point before she eventually left, she said so many funny things that i should allow her keep her friends if i really want to make her happy that she sees nothing wrong as long as she keeps her discipline.

Now she came visiting last two weeks claiming she wants to pick some stuffs cos all her stuffs are still in my house.

So i asked her if she is really interested in coming back and she said i have actually pushed her to sleeping with another man.

That nailed it and i decided i will let go of her for good though she has a way of wanting to purposely hurt me with words to make me feel bad about calling her names and hitting her on the leg which happens to be the first time in 12yrs but i have apologized for that many times.

i told her that even if she was trying to pull my legs that she has passed the boundary as such thing shouldn't be joked with.

Right now i don't know what she is really up to whether she is coming back or not, she has left all her stuffs with me, refused to initiate divorce process and is not showing any green light she wants to come back thereby making things so so difficult for me.

I wonder what came over her, she has been the sweetest and the most decent lady i have ever come across but at the moment i dont know what to think anymore and i fear i may end up committing adultery cos the passion is so so high.

Anyways im sorry loretta, im done but i will not initiate divorce. If GOD gives me another lady that will take me out of this crazy nightmare i will be so glad. Just hate the idea of wooing ladies around town.

Thanks a lot.

^i"m sure you want us to believe you're married.

Perhaps you hope to snag a would be boyfriend snatcher or husband snatcher that way.

What's your other, trouble making id here?


assuming of course, you're male.

HARDDON: this is one eye opener!

Number three especially makes ma d1ck weak.

baffles me how they all go wet and wavy when you guys were still dating and all of a sudden , because you are now married, feel they can tie wrapper in you home! yuck.

and as Goddons jokingly said, though very true, they go wearing pants that are larger than bedspread. hang two on a drying line, and the line is totally occupied. they totally forget there is something called sexy lingerie in dah shopping mall.

.....tell them also, that gone are the days men go happy to see their wifys all full and round. that is no evidence of gud living no more. hit the gym

.....tell the newly wed that the first pregnancy period is a trying time. they should as much as they could let the man have a feel. because, most cheating start at this very times. the wify locks up, his third leg wano offload and bliv me, there are always alternatives out there.

not forgetting that it shoud be a 2 way thing. Most men become less sponatenous. Eats and drinks a lot, gets a big belly, the sex becomes less exciting, doesn't shave his manly parts but still expects to be given the best oral sexx...seriously who wants to end up removing someone's pubic hair from their mouth after sexx? When u stop treating her like a queen trust me u won't be getting any royal treatment either. The gym is not only for women, keeping that huge beer belly and the hideous beard...makes a men just as less appealing. Keep looking like an old hag,and trust me young male adults nowadays are just as loose they are ready to have a sexual relationship with an older woman so they can be able to maintain their younger gfs