I know lust outside of marriage is a sin but what about lust in a marriage, is that a sin too?

I wouldn't worry about lust within marriage, it very soon cools down. I know of couples who haven't had sex in about a year.

Are christian romantic? Are they sensuous? Do they know anything about love at all? If you are not lusting after your spouse, who should you lust after? Christians must be boring lovers. You need to learn a thing or two about keeping the lve and romance at the peak for a long time from the Mus.l.i.m!

Where is Nwando? lol.

Are christian romantic? Are they sensuous? Do they know anything about love at all? If you are not lusting after your spouse, who should you lust after? Christians must be boring lovers. You need to learn a thing or two about keeping the lve and romance at the peak for a long time from the Mus.l.i.m!

Where is Nwando? lol.

Yes, Christians are very romantic. I will take my grandparents for example. They have this love that I look forward to having in my home. They complement each other so perfectly. Even when they have arguments they can't keep malice for long. They even start acting like little kids in love. It's hilarious. I always looked forward to having a husband like my grandfather. He's so strict, yet gentle. He holds down the fort. He protects his family and my grandmother caters to everyone. They had 11 children, 9 are alive today. So that should tell you that they were very busy . I have a few close family friends who are Christian and have a very loving marriage. They inspire me.

The issue about marriage isn't just Christian and musliiim dear. If the couple have problems they will always have problems.
I know thosew ho aren't Christian that still have a good marriage. It is between the two people.

I also know muuslim marriages that are not in order. The wife is beaten everyday even while she's pregnant. So sir it is not about muuuslim and christian but about love in a marriage.

Let me give u a definition of love straight from the Bible

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patients, love is kind, it is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated
It is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over ijury
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth
it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Just to humor you. R u sure muuuslims know what love is? love isn't just romance. With the suicide bombers rampant in Islam, I doubt they know what love is. They don't love themselves or their families enough to cause their death and pain on their family's hearts.

Love is not about kissing and sexing. Without respect in love there won't be much of that. It would just be an obligation.
I know a lot o f muuuslim women who are not happy in their marriage, don't let me get them to give their experiences to you, so be careful what u say mister.

@~Lady~: Lol. Are you still in town or what? I wish you well.

Now about the Mus.lim women, you need to tell them to talk to me. Maybe All.ah may provide the needed advise and encouragement through His Servant/slave Olabowale. This is a good thing.

And Miss, I am like that grandfather of yours. But by All.ah, I can take care of a woman with the nature of your grandmother, and then replicate it 4 times. Or better because I want to amuse you, "to the power 4!"

Actually you miss the point am making. Lust is not a bad thing with your spouse. And when it occurs in the heart towards a strange person from the opposite gender, since we are no 100% immune to mistake, one is to curb oneself, by struggling against it. And never ever implement it, regardless the urge. The struggle against it is itself is a blessing. I think you and me have spoken about this subject before.

It is fighting temptation that led Joseph to Prison, a place that served as a refuge for him against the seducing wife of his master. And it was this prison by God's mercy and reward on him that he began his amazing glorification to the highest eminence in Egypt. A good reward is sweet.

Olabowale

I think that was my point. You, however, said there was nothing wrong in having a thought of you sexing another woman that is not your wife as long as your wife doesn't know. I told you to ask your wife and let me know her answer. Did you ask her, what was her answer? lol.

Lust isn't bad with your spouse. Infact I suggest you lust away with him or her, but have self-control so as not to lust after another. Let your heart be filled with Joy as you stare at your wife's bakassi and may she tease you with it (if you're man). Women stare at your husband and imagine what attracted you to him in the first place and hold him, this will be the beginning of something .

Notice I say husband. wife. Not girlfriend, boyfriend o.


I am in atl now. Pls call my phone. I got a new one so don't have your number in it. Thanks.

Take care sir

@~Lady~

I think that was my point. You, however, said there was nothing wrong in having a thought of you sexing another woman that is not your wife as long as your wife doesn't know. I told you to ask your wife and let me know her answer. Did you ask her, what was her answer? lol.

What I said though was that if a thought like that occured, you should fight it. And when you copulate with your spouse, if you role play all your fantasy at that time, then there is nothing wrong in it. I further said that whatever your spouse does not know that is in your head, but never practice it with somebody else except your spouse it is okay.

How can it be possible for anybody to know whats in other person's head? Further my wife said that the spouse have no reason to fantasize about anybody else. That was here first though. As we spoke about the fact that no one is beyond a flash or temptation thoughts, she agreed that if the person struggles and never acted upon it, then no harm done.

What I said though was that if a thought like that occured, you should fight it. And when you copulate with your spouse, if you role play all your fantasy at that time, then there is nothing wrong in it. I further said that whatever your spouse does not know that is in your head, but never practice it with somebody else except your spouse it is okay.

HAHAHAHA NO U DID NOT!!!

IF U DID, I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED U TO ASK UR WIFE. U DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THE PLAY YOUR FANTASY PART, THAT IS JUST BRAND NEW. HAHAHAHA

How can it be possible for anybody to know whats in other person's head? Further my wife said that the spouse have no reason to fantasize about anybody else. That was here first though. As we spoke about the fact that no one is beyond a flash or temptation thoughts, she agreed that if the person struggles and never acted upon it, then no harm done.

God always knows what's in our heads, and that's all that matters. He's the judge of all. I agree with your wife. That was MY point, not YOURS. You were going to continue entertaining the thought as long as your wife doesn't know, THAT was your point.

olabowale:

since we are no 100% immune to mistake, one is to curb oneself, by struggling against it. And never ever implement it, regardless the urge. The struggle against it is itself is a blessing.

Here is another glaring difference between christianity and is'lam. While you struggle (in vain) against sin, the blood of Jesus cleanses us from ALL sin. The struggle is not a blessing, it is a sorrow because as flesh you can never win.

lust is lust even in marriage, it is wrong and unGodly. There is a difference between a healthy desire for sex and lust.
It is not wrong to have sex in a marriage but a soon as lust gets into it, it becomes a sin.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." -(Matthew 5:28)

The above scripture did not say "anyone who looks at a woman not married to him" It says a woman, thus any woman, including your wife. Therefore you shouldn't look at any woman(even your wife) lustfully. And yes! One can commite adultery with his wife.
Real marriage before God is a marriage where there is true love. Once lust and sexual perverity gets into it, before God the marriage is annulled and becomes immoral.

If you have even been in love you will know that the last thing you want to do to the woman you love is to think about her with lust. What people today call love is only infatuation which is a glorified name for lust! Real love is entirely different.

Justcool, that's justbull.

How can you commit adultery with ur wife?

@ 4Him
Thanks for your question.
Sex in any marriage that is not approved by God is adultery. Marriage is not just going to the priest and doing the ceremony. Marriage has to be according to Gods will for it to be horned by God.
I will give you an example:
A guy in Nigeria was filled with lust for a girl. After trying unsuccessfully to have sex with the girl, he went to the girls parents and declared that he wanted to marry the girl. Luckily for him, the girls pastor was an ex classmate of this guy. They were in cult together during their years in the university. The guy told the pastor(who became a pastor after graduating from the university) his intention of marring the girl and asked the pastor to go and tell the girls parents (who are members of his church) that it was Gods will that the guy should marry the girl.
To make a long story short, after the wedding and after a year of the guy getting as much sex as he wanted from the girl he kicked her out and they finally divorced.

Now my dear 4Him, please answer the follwing questions:
1.) Was this marriage real before God?
2.) The guy and the pastor succeeded in fooling the girl and her family. Did this guy and the pastor succeed in fooling God?
3.) During the time he was having sex with her, was he not committing adultery(or fornication--which ever word you chose to use)?

People should seek God before getting into marriage. They must make sure that the marriage is the will of God, so that harmony and peace will result from it. If we only put God first and not lust first we will definitely find happiness.
It's easy to recognise real marriage before God. In such marrages the couple live for each other and even whenthey are too old to have sex the love and harmony continues. But any marriage that is held together by just sex is not real marriage, before God such marriage is adultery. Man cannot fool God!!!
My friend is married and claims that he loves his wife but one day he told me that if his wife ever becomes incapacitated to the extent that she cannot have sex anymore he will leave her. Is this real marriage?

Justcool, your stories have no bearing with the issue you initially raised.
You have sited an extreme case that has no link to millions of other marriages out there based on love, companionship and God's blessings.

The bible says the marriage bed is undefiled - whatever my wife and i choose to do on that bed is lawful in the eyes of God. Sex is not a sin, it is God's gift to man meant to be enjoyed within the confines of a loving union between a man and his wife.
I have every right to lust after MY WIFE, i have every right to experiment with sex with MY WIFE, i have every right to picture MY WIFE naked . . .

@4Him
My dear you are very wrong. With marriage God did not give you the right to become an animal or to reduce yourself to an animal. Your wife is to be honored and respected, not your sex instrument. Sex is a gift from God that should be enjoyed within the confines of harmonious and God pleasing relationship.
The food that you worked for is also a gift from God that should be enjoyed, however not like an animal. You cannot put your food into your nose or your eyes just because you earned it. You can not live all your life thinking only of food and putting everything else behind, in this case even though the food is yours, it is a sin! You cannot overfeed yourself which is like harming your self just because the food is yours. You should not entice your neighbors with your food just because it's yours. You should not become a glutton just because the food is yours.
Apply the same with sex. You should not put sex first in your marriage. And you should degrade yourself to an animal--IE sodomy, sexual torture, and all sorts of perversion just because she is your wife. your wife should not represent sex to you, she is an individual that deserves to be respected. There is noting wrong with sex in a real marriage but as soon as lust gets into it, it becomes a sin. purity is a prerequisite to enter the kingdom of God, purity is the opposite of lust. Lust for anything is wrong and unGodly.

Most marriages today are like the one I mentioned in my earlier story, statics of divorce and domestic violence proves my point.

4 Him:

Justcool, your stories have no bearing with the issue you initially raised.
You have sited an extreme case that has no link to millions of other marriages out there based on love, companionship and God's blessings.

Are you kidding me? 90% of marriages today are started bassed on lust and sex. Who cares about true love toda? What men want is nice bodies and girls good in bed, women want men with big pockets, nice cars, nice job, etc.

4 Him:

The bible says the marriage bed is undefiled - whatever my wife and i choose to do on that bed is lawful in the eyes of God. 

Chei!!! Chei!!!
Please can you show me where the Bible says that whatever my wife and i choose to do on that bed is lawful in the eyes of God.
There are men who defecate on their wifes face during sex just for pleasure and their women who do the same. So this is lawful in the eyes of God? In Los angeles a woman dies because her husband inserted a very big toy in her behind dring sex. So this death is lawful befor God? What about couples that were experimenting with their dog? Is this lawfull too. What about coulple that chain each other and beat each other up for sexual pleasure, all these a lawful just because they are married? Have ever seen a kinky adult movie and see what soats of thing they do there, There is a married coulple that charge poeple to watch them will having sex, so this pormography is lawful in the eyes of God?

@~Lady~;

HAHAHAHA NO You DID NOT!!!

IF You DID, I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED You TO ASK UR WIFE. You DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THE PLAY YOUR FANTASY PART, THAT IS JUST BRAND NEW. HAHAHAHA

I think that you did not even hear a word I said in that conversation. Every Human struggles. Every muslims knows that it is not a sin to have an unintentional look. And that it is a noble quality to struggle against evil of the heart. That is the greatest of all levels and definitions of Jihad. If you remember, I said that the one who fights the urge and never sucumb to it is better than the one who tries not to face the possibility that these temptations can take place.

I illustrated that a former thief or a person who has the potentials to steal, but fights it never will be judged for the fact that the thought of thiefery crosses his mind, regardless the amount of times or how often. The outcome is this, he did not steal.

God always knows what's in our heads, and that's all that matters. He's the judge of all. I agree with your wife. That was MY point, not YOURS. You were going to continue entertaining the thought as long as your wife doesn't know, THAT was your point.

I never said that a person continues to entertain the though as long as the spouse never knows about it. That will be a torture. What will be the benefit of struggling against doing something you consciously constantly nurse in your head? Is this not hypocracy? I remember even telling you that Joseph prayed that he be sent to prison so that he could be away from the beautiful wife of his master, who lust after him. She was not reported to have any children, hence, with all her wealth, she may be been attractive to young Joseph. If the woman had never tried to implement her lust for Joseph, but only simply struggle against, she could never been guilty before man and God does not punish because of thought only.


My point was further reinforced, because according to the Bible, Jesus was tempted 3 times by the Devil. And Jesus struggled against it. For me, the person who struggles against evils and overcome, everytime is just like Jesus. Finally, my wife did not agree with you, in the end. At first she was emotional about it, which was expected anyhow.

The fact that I asked my wife about this matter should tell you that I was confidence that I did not encourage that a person shouldcontinue the constant thought of doing a particular evil. Thats not the way it works in I.s.l'am. Sex is something that are discussed in its proper place.

@4Him:

Here is another glaring difference between christianity and is'lam. While you struggle (in vain) against sin, the blood of Jesus cleanses us from ALL sin. The struggle is not a blessing, it is a sorrow because as flesh you can never win.

I think that jesus won against the devil, when he was tempted 3 times in a row. I am sure that I will take my chances with struggling and relying on A.l.l.ah for His support of my effort, by rewarding me and making me victorious, in the end.

I am different from you who has flesh and do not know that there is need for struggle. You rely on Jesus who himself struggled against flesh. I guess all of us who struggle are in the same league or true followers of Jesus.

And as I struggle (in vain), God has helped me not to be involved in illicit sex. And i love women to pieces. Can you image how wonderfully my Lord has protected me so that my struggle will make me victorious in the Long Run. I do not need the blood of jesus. And by All.ah when I am totally victorious, I guess the blood is shed in vain, it it was ever shed. But I will let you gravel with that because of my respect for Isa bin Mariam. I know you are not talking about my Isa bin Mariam.

And my struggle is a victory for me, because I pass through HIV/AiDS decade and all this time, am free of all the potential sources of disasters. You said struggle is always in vain? I don't know how you came about this conclusion that begs all forms of acceptance. Struggle is good. You should try it.

You lust when you married or when you are single , it's still lust

When a man lust after his wife, or the wife lust after her husband, it makes the love almost as if it was the first time. Is lust not a desire to have whatever one lust about. I lust as human being after my wife and things that make life for me as m.u.s.lim.

Then I am lusting to see my Creator and His mercy in the day of Judgement. I am lusting to be in the place of honor, the highest place in Paradise. The station of my beloved Prophet, the leader of all prophets and messengers. I lust big time and am not ashamed.

This is where Isslam leads one to Hell.

Lust is having complete Satisfaction with the flesh without regard for Spiritual things(love for your partner, Longsuffering gentleness meeknes kindness). If your wife decides she does not want sex and you use all means to make her have sex then you have overburdened her with you desire for her body rather that with  true love in your heart.

You have treated her like a prostitute. You have made her like a toilet roll because she had no desire for you.

Some people think marriage is a safety net from promiscuity. This is a lie from hell.

I completely agree with justcool. Lust is lust. Sin is sin and there are no exceptions in these things. The only basis for sex is true love and spiritual harmony. Where both are lacking, sex under the circumstances is immoral even if the marriage is blessed by a pope or an apostle. Why will lust in marriage be different from lust outside marriage? It will be like making a difference between an unworthy man raping his wife and the same unworthy man raping a stranger. Genuine love  should be the only basis for sexual intimacy.

How is lust wrong in marriage

stillwater:

How is lust wrong in marriage

i have no idea. Help me to ask the professors of religion here.

@Backslider: You are on yor own, with m_nwankwo.

And for those who think that struggling until victorious is a bad thing, am sure Trial and tribulation is also bad in your eyes. David, this is directed to you directly, with a little of it to ~Lady~.

"

who said lust is wrong in marriage?i mean when both partners r legally married,who is that person saying its a sin?if its a sin that will take someone to hell,then i rather not repent because i don't only seduce my husband but i lust after him every single day,and i have every right to do that because i swore to d oath of "I DO" so also other couples,and that gives us d right to lust after our partner anyday anytime

who said lust is wrong in marriage?i mean when both partners r legally married,who is that person saying its a sin?if its a sin that will take someone to hell,then i rather not repent because i don't only seduce my husband but i lust after him every single day,and i have every right to do that because i swore to d oath of "I DO" so also other couples,and that gives us d right to lust after our partner anyday anytime

I think the poster meant lusting after somebody else and nt ur husband.

read d topic idupaul he asked "if lust in marriage is wrong?"

read d topic idupaul he asked "if lust in marriage is wrong?

i read it, but me thinks its refering to adulterous lust

Ha, so many comments and viewpoints. For those that think lust is ok in marriage, how can it be when it is selfish? I mean, love thinks about the other person but lust thinks only about self-gratification. How can you explain that?
Even Wikipedia describes lust as: "any intense desire or craving for self gratification and excitement."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lust

I forgot to add. I attended a conference today that shed light on the situation. Comment pls, thanks