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Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up - Culture - Nairaland

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Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by SisterSister(f): 3:28am On Jun 19, 2013
[b]In the US, when a bad or racist white person tries to push their negative thoughts, ideas and suggestions my way, I tell them what I am about to say here. Nigerian brothers and sisters if the shoe fits…You do not tell me who I am… I tell you who I am. You do not tell me what I can and can not do, I tell you. Just because you say something does not and will not make it true, if it is not true. No one in Africa or anywhere can change the heritage or history of African-Americans. Our ancestors came from Africa. Many were sold and taken to America and other places in chains by force. (Some of your ancestors may have even sold some of us off…but, forgiven.) You, who are born and raised in Africa, grow up with the African culture. We African-Americans in North America have to reconnect to the African culture. Is it easy? No, because we can’t embrace everything with closed eyes, and we can’t embrace everything under the influence that is definitely present. We can not embrace one way as the only way, when we know there are more very good ways to achieve good and numerous positive options available. We should know our African culture. Who is the person who wants to try standing in the way all on account of their low self-esteem, jealousy and insecurity issues? Work on your own self and your own life…and let others do the same without the rotten attitude, lying lips and scheming hearts. An African-American who is learning the African heritage is doing what she (or he) is suppose to do-are you? An African-American wife learning her African heritage has nothing to do with you ‘Nigerian women who put themselves there’---absolutely nothing. An African-American learning her Nigerian husband’s culture is doing what she is suppose to do. Let me say it loud and clear-NO ONE IN AFRICA BY TALKING RUBBISH TALK OR TRYING TO GIVE AFRICAN-AMERICANS DEROGATORY NAMES CAN CHANGE OR WILL EVER CHANGE WHERE AFRICAN-AMERICANS ANCESTORS (MOST OF US) COME FROM….AFRICA. The fact that one opens their mouth and says what is not true actually shows that the person has a problem of their own.

There are so many intelligent Nigerians everywhere, I would kindly suggest someone come up with better words to appropriately say who African-Americans are, in the African culture. We are not oyibo! Let me say it plain--this is an insult. We are not akata/acata-it is also an insult. We are not half-cast… well this one is just my opinion-I just don’t like the word because I know I am the original cast of how God-the Creator of heaven, earth and mankind, made me. We know our roots begin in Africa (most African-Americans)-Nigerians, you also know most African-American’s roots begin in Africa, so what really is the problem?

Everybody in North America is not white, nor is their culture white and you know this by now, so what really is the problem?

It is offensive, calling someone white who is not. For example in the hood, ghetto, a guy whose skin in actually light (light skinned black) not white but both of his birth parents are dark skinned blacks, the son is still black, though his skin tone is light. Everyone in the neighborhood knows his parents and him, and also know though his skin is light, he is still a black man. (Even Nigerians born in Nigeria are of different skin tones and shades.) There are his friends who might crack on him jokingly and call him a white-boy but not all the time or as his name but anyone who is not a friend and calls him white-boy, cracker, etc. ALL THE TIME, it will be taken and considered an insult. It will also clearly show everyone that that person has a problem with the light-skinned brother. I take someone calling me white (when we are still fighting against the bad whites to get and keep what is good for us and our family) as an insult and most African-Americans would. Stop trying to play African-Americans as white because when you do, many of us will not hesitate to let you know we are not white. If you force it, we will tell you we are not white with a serious attitude and many in 9ja (who have not travelled) will not relate. Those who have not travelled, I usually ask where are they from and which tribe. If they tell me they are Yoruba-then I say they are Igbo because Igbo people are in Nigeria. If they tell me they are Igbo-I say they are Hausa because Hausa people are in Nigeria. No one has tried to give me an attitude but they get the point I am making very well. Not everyone in Nigeria is from one tribe and culture; and not everyone in North America is white or from the white culture. Assimilation in the US did not work. America is great in its own way but everyone who goes there quickly learns that there is still racism and a lot of the bad whites want to keep everything and the very best for the whites. What does that mean? It means that most everyone in America still hold on to their culture. Italian-American, Chinese-American, German-American, etc…but we are still all Americans. Even if a Chinese is the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on generation in the US and has never been to China —they have a Chinese name, they learn and know the culture, and China remains their ancestral home. Nigerian brothers and sisters, again I ask, what really is the problem? I have heard some say African-Americans think they are better….let me tell you, unfortunately many African-Americans are still in mental slavery. They don’t know and are still living some affects of physical slavery (which is no more) this is being passed down in their own family or life. Institutional and economical slavery they have not defeated and some are too angry; and think and behave in a way that sabotages their own life. The same is happening with many in Nigeria with poverty, so why is there no understanding? As well, there are African-Americans who stomp on racists per se and all the other delusions that racist whites try to push; and are doing excellent for themselves and their family. It is many from this latter group of African-Americans who are reconnecting to their African heritage.

The truth is not an insult. If someone claims to love you and care for you and see you heading for destruction and allow you to continue to destruction saying only what you want to hear---KNOW, the real is that the person does not care about you or love you at all.

Nigerian men who are doing this….just because you are married to a Nigerian woman does not mean you should treat her bad, maltreat or beat her just because you can get away with it culturally. Men who beat women are cowards and it is a sign that your life coping skills are immature and under-developed. Men, who are real men, know how to talk to their wife and help her be the woman she is to be. Just because some women are use to being dismissed, discounted, ignored, and treated like furniture in the house, and you can treat your wife like this, doesn’t mean that you should treat your wife like this-even if she might be use to it and doesn’t say one word or react to it. It is not godly and it is not good or healthy for her…and you already know this, though conditioned not to take it into account. You should not treat her bad because you, yourself, would not want any one to treat you in that manner. Other men may talk which only pushes one to keep doing the bad (man wrappa?, tied, locked, charmed and more) because you are doing or trying to do the right thing-which is be the king in your own home. When they see how your wife and queen sincerely (not robotically) love, admire and respect you-some of their hearts will be angry. Jealousy and envy are terrible things. When you stand before God those men will not be around, and even if they could be, I don’t believe any of them would step in and take your punishment for you taking their bad advice. Men, when you hurt and abuse your wife, you are hurting and abusing yourself because your wife is part of you. Do healthy, progressing and sane people do this? I pray you do what it best for you, your wife and your children always…we are all accountable before God.

Why is it ok to show care, love and unity with others but when a husband does this for his wife, the wife has charmed him and visa versa? It is a demonic influence and should be pulled down in Jesus name.

All shared here is definitely not everything to either side, as it is not possible to cover all on all sides. And there are still other areas like 419 marriages, no affection, marriage traps, abuse of all types and more. ALL cultures have the good, the bad and ugly. No culture can change inside a man’s heart. No culture can save a soul.

In summary, African-Americans do not need permission from anybody near or far to be African-Americans. I am sharing for those who do not know and also because people still need to get it right (and yes that includes African-Americans). Nigerians (and all who fit), no one is better than the other because of culture. Though the culture we live by has some huge differences---they are that, differences and can be worked out and worked through with patience, understanding and respect. Most African-Americans ancestral home is Africa and we should want to learn about our African heritage-it is natural. Nigerians, wouldn’t it be better to educate with your words, then to be the devil’s messenger of lies and continued division?

Lastly, I have another “what if” question: Do you know the story of Paul from the Bible? He was a single man-never married. His name was Saul but when he gave his life to Jesus Christ, his name was changed to Paul. He went out and set the world on fire for Jehovah God in Jesus name. Yet, he had many trials, afflictions and persecutions…shipwrecks, beatings where he was left for dead and these were just only a few things he faced.

Dear Nigerians, what if Paul was living in modern day Nigeria?

What if Paul was married and living in modern day Nigeria and still faced the shipwrecks, beatings, poisonings, etc., please- what will most Nigerians unfortunately tell Paul and other people about his wife STRAIGHT?

True talk…many would say his wife is ob---- ! This thing about light-skinned girls/women being from the water is not true just like that. Someone in the US, who was born and raised in the South said many there believe that dark skinned people are evil, which equally is not true just like that. Demons and satan do not sit around and wait for a certain skin type before they possess a person. No. Evil spirits do not care at all what a person’s color or skin tone is…they are only looking for an open vessel…a body to possess. Look at yourself first and make sure you have closed all the accesses satan uses to operate in your life. After looking at yourself first, then look at those close to you. Don’t allow people bad words and thoughts to unwisely become your own. Bearing false witness is another terrible thing.

Those who travel abroad and know there are more than one positive option but still come back and fall into the pattern of doing the bad thing just because every one else is doing the bad thing-shame on you. It is hard to go against the flow of a culture regarding the good things, as it should be. It is also hard to go against the flow of a culture regarding bad things too, BUT we all have to strive to do it. African-Americans, Nigerians (white Americans) and whoever else….none of us should think more highly of ourselves then we ought to or we can easily find ourselves in false pride, error, delusion, confusion, oppression, bondage and more.

This is one comment from one site on this subject I want to share because I have thought the same thing <<<<>>> A man is yours, when he gives you his everything; NOT because you are from the same country and/or speak the same language.

May God’s blessings and protection forever surround your marriage, in Jesus name.



Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by MrsChima(f): 11:12pm On Jun 21, 2013
Damn! Encore!
Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by desirel: 10:30am On Jun 29, 2013
good job!
Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by Nobody: 12:34pm On Jun 29, 2013
Nice post!
Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by SisterSister(f): 5:31pm On Jul 04, 2013
[b]Thank you @Mrs. Chima, desirel and chillisauce.

I had to combine the threads and may have to one more time. I've been online before researching for hours something I needed to know. It is a long post on this topic but on the otherhand it's not long enough smiley [/b]
Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by yorubaamerican(m): 9:23am On Jul 08, 2013
And vice-versa. I see you've done your bid... bravo!!

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Man Married To African-American Wife - The Wrap Up by SisterSister(f): 6:10am On Jul 16, 2013
yorubaamerican: And vice-versa. I see you've done your bid... bravo!!

Thank you yorubaamerican. The quote you shared is a good one. We African-Americans should want to know where we come from..it is very important.

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