What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance (3281 Views)
How Virginity Almost Destroyed My Marriage - Thanks To Nlanders / My Fiance Asked Me To Choose: House Or Marriage? / I Am Scared To Leave My Fiance Behind For My Studies (2) (3) (4)
| What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 10:44am On Jul 04, 2013 |
I'm in a serious dilemma. My Aunts don't want me to marry to my fiance because he's Imo and I'm Anambra. They said my late mum never wanted any of her children to marry an Imo guy. I thought it was a joke until after my fiance came to see my dad with his people. My dad welcomed and accepted them but now my aunts have successfully convinced him otherwise. My dad asked me to forget about the marriage. I don't know what else to do. I've begged, cried, talked but nothing is working. The scary part now is that my younger sis said my mum appeared to her in her dreams and told her I shouldn't go. My fiance is shattered and I'm lost and exhausted. I'm really confused and don't know what to do. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 12:07pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
There's no reason to cry. You should have put them in their places the moment they insinuated such to you. Their reasons are not credible enough. They have said nothing about the man's character which should be the most important thing your family should look out for you but instead they reduced themselves to this archaic thinking. I hope you are a rational human being and I hope your man is a good person. Tell your family to give you a credible reason, weigh their words and decide what to do. If your aunts can pull puppet strings on your dad, you also can pull his strings or are you not his daughter again? 2 Likes |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by buklan4realyah(f): 12:07pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
My sister, pray, seek for his opinion on it. God shud direct u to d rite part |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 12:45pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@ op, such dilemmas like yours is common everywhere in nija... And the stvpid reasons either parents give is, so pathetic and tribalistic...  .... No wonder, we have couples saddled with partners they don't really want as their spouses..and tend to treat each other , with disdain or lack of commitment , hence a New marriage that's meant to be filled with love and trusts, is then built on resentments and resigned thots ...... And due to this same family pressure from one side or either side, the lady or the guy , will eventually succumb to the family pressures.And if both loving couple go ahead , in d midst of all warnings not to, heed to their warning...... I bet you, either his / her aunt or mother or a female member will go an extra mile, to make sure their union flops from the very beginning ( as if someone send her work)..., till when both loving couples becomes strangers or enemies in their earlier loving home  Thus divorce, separation is just around the corner waiting. While such families are waiting patiently to hear the good news, that they are divorced and its irreconcilable ....  Pls be very prayerful o.... May God help us from the wicked intentions of our enemies....amen |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by ChideraFavour(m): 12:55pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
This is very serious, but have you ever bothered to know why your late mum warned that none of you should get married to Imo people? I think that there must be a good reason for that, to the extent of appearing to your younger sister in a dream. Please am not saying that your family are 100% correct for not letting you marry your dream man but where a child is pointing to while crying either his father or mother must be there. In marriage some times, parents expecially the mum plays a great part in approving life partner, if your mum is not in support of your chosing partner try your possible best to get her convinced because if you ignore her, the marriage is 70% sure of hiting the rock. Now your mum is no more and she is not in support of the marriage, where can you see her to convince her mind? Please my sister I'm very sorry to say this, if you have tried all your possible best to get the approval of your family and didnt succide I beg you let that marriage go, pray that God should give you a partner that will be cherished by everyone. I know that it is not that easy sha! but just try you must surely get over it, in this world, nothing is too good nor too bad depending on the area you looked about it, after all the beautiful ones they said are not yet born, meaning that there is nothing that is the best thing in this world, and nothing now will happen in this world that had never happened before. Once again I pray that God will come right away to intervene in that your case. Good luck! |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:05pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna: I'm in a serious dilemma.first of all  |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by EfemenaXY: 1:09pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna: I'm in a serious dilemma. @OP, you yourself aren't a serious person judging from what you've typed up there. If you've got something to say, then out with it jare! This is a faceless forum. No one knows you and you're here seeking help. Pls tell us exactly why your family or rather, your aunts don't want you to get married to someone from Imo state? What's wrong with men from Imo State? Or are you afraid to state what their reasons are, here?? Get real and get serious lady, else no one can help you. If their reasons are based on myth, I'm sure loads of people here can put that worry of yours to rest. The ball's in your court. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Carius(m): 1:21pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Chidera Favour: This is very serious, but have you ever bothered to know why your late mum warned that none of you should get married to Imo people? I think that there must be a good reason for that...Please,pray tell us the good reasons?am beginning to think you're the one that needs help... |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:21pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
bennyraz: first of all Yes they are married and their marriages are fruitful. They are also successful women. They are between 35-40yrs. And No they don't stay with us. My sis is younger than myself. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:24pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@ chidera my mum is late so I can't ask her the beef she has with Imo people. my Dad doesn't share her sentiments because he welcomed them when they came for first knocking. But he has changed his mind now. That's the worst. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:32pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna:sorry about the questions o.. have they ever assisted you in any area of your life |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by stylesco: 1:37pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: Act |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:42pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@ Efemena My Aunts are saying my mum doesn't want us to marry outside Anambra. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:43pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@ Benny Yes they have. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:47pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@dlyna.. do you have older siblings.. and again, do you have uncles that you know will support you in whatever situation you find yourself in |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Since your dad didn't share the sentiments in the first instance, i think your problem has a good part to it. Stand on your ground and fight for the one you love, let them know that you're serious with it. And for your sister that dreamt that your mum said something about it, hmmmmmmmmmmm ...If you're sure that you've found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, unless they're ready to give you a better reason that that BS, tell them to their face that you're not gonna back down. You won't marry without their permission but you'll remain single for the rest of your life. Be serious about it. Trust me, those aunties would be the first set of people to go and beg the man himself, Ibo aunties don't even like that line I just gave you: "If you don't allow me to marry him, I'll sit down in your house forever".  But you have to be determined and serious, if they can come up with a better reason, then, that's another issue entirely but this particular reason is just not it. GOODLUCK! |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
bennyraz: @dlyna.. do you have older siblings.. and again, do you have uncles that you know will support you in whatever situation you find yourself in I have an elder brother. My folks generally are not in support(maternal) My dad is the only son. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by ChideraFavour(m): 2:04pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna: @ chidera my mum is late so I can't ask her the beef she has with Imo people.but at least I guest that your Aunty will know the hatred between your mum and Imo people and would be good for her to explain the whole reason to you peolpe, it will help to get clearification of the issue. I just think so oo |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 2:21pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
@chidera Its not just Imo's They said she doesn't want us to marry outside Anambra. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by EfemenaXY: 2:34pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna: @ Efemena Why? |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 2:47pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Dlyna:even your elder brother is not in support? are you working? do you have strong educational background or any successful technical skills? in other words, are you financially independent? |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 2:48pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Gal,why u dey fall our hand? U no de behave like correct anambra chick! Hv u ever seen one fighting for what she wants? She spites fire! Who is ur aunt(s) to tell u who to marry even if na dem train u? Give them their level jor! Meanwhile go to ur dad's pple,cry to them and get their approval. Then u can go and silence those aunts of urs! Leave ur dad for now.his pple will handle him.as for ur younger sis, if not that we r supposed to act maturely,u for give her d beatin of her life! (Don't come here again with this). U can't even fight for ur family if need arises? Did u grow up eating only indomie noodules? Ajebo abi? Wait until d man picks race! Provided he is correct for u and his pple r ok. Wish u luck |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by EfemenaXY: 3:06pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
bennyraz: even your elder brother is not in support? are you working? do you have strong educational background or any successful technical skills? in other words, are you financially independent? Her story is so one sided! She's hiding stuff from us. How then can one help her based on limited information. Una get time sha. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 3:21pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by EfemenaXY: 3:26pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
^^^ This woman again! Abeg go modify your quote jare, before you give me half-past-12 eye  How are you though?  |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by nenih: 3:55pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
This Imo and Anambra bad belle has been on especially in our parent's generation. Am from Imo and growing up, my mother seriously warned my sisters and I against marrying any Anambra man. The belief is that Anambra men are arrogant and in most cases Imo wives are treated as second class citizens in their husband's house. To further buttress her point, she would ask us to tell her which of her sisters married to Anambra men have good rapport with her inlaws or are even at peace with their husbands. My advice to you is to get your siblings on your side. My siblings and I would argue and point out to her marriages between Imo people that were also going through such challenges. Am married today, not to an Imo person neither is any of my siblings. She just had to give up and let us make our choices. As far as I am concerned, a happy marriage has nothing to do with tribe or the state you come. Except if there are fundamental issues, then those concerns need to be considered but not Tribe or State !!! Chikena |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Your aunties are not serious,dont lose a man you love because of a baseless talk.Anambra people are naturally tribAlistic,atleast most of them are. when I was a teenager, mum was telling me villages I must choose my spouse from,she never knew I had no intention of marrying an anambra man as most of there men run round there mum's skirt all through there lives . If you are convinced that this guy is your man,fight for what you want,my people know not to try that with me,they sure know what would have happened. 1 Like |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by dayokanu(m): 4:44pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
Whats the difference between Anambra men and Imo men? |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by Nobody: 5:12pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
They are very different,the overzealous ego of the typical anambra man is nothing to write home about. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by biolabee(m): 5:17pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
dayokanu: Whats the difference between Anambra men and Imo men? I tire o... And some bigoted posters on this forum make ibos seems like the best thing since sliced bread so ibos are also ethnophobes |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by slimyem: 6:00pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
^I thought they were same too until now. |
| Re: What Do I Do My Aunts Are Against My Marriage To My Fiance by vivianc(f): 6:05pm On Jul 04, 2013 |
byvan: They are very different,the overzealous ego of the typical anambra man is nothing to write home about. Me too won't like to marry an Anambra man, unless he is really really differenT. Most of Them are arrogant and noT educated. And are always Tied To their mum's apron string. Back To Op: she said her mum didn't want Them to marry outside Anambra. Well, some mums are like thaT Tho she should have given you reasons. My mum did That too, buT mine is becos I'm The Ada and according To TradiTion I'm noT supposed To marry outside my community, because the Adas are seen as the pillars of family, they should be around in case anything goes wrong.......bla bla bla. BuT I started fighTing her from the geT go and we still fight all The time abouT That. Do you know my mum Told me if I marry a catholic she won't come To my wedding? I asked her "buT you can come To the reception?" And she said "yes." I told her to wait for me at the gate on thaT day, she mustn't come inside the church.So girl fight iT if you can tho in a decent manner. Pls don't paint ur family all bad before a man o, no matter how crazily in love you think you are, iT always back fires, always. JusT approach This wiTh wisdom, fight fair and still get ur family's blessing, its important. Good luck. 1 Like |
Whats Responsible About Married Men? / URGENT HELP NEEDED! CARE FOR AGING PARENTS OR RECONCILE W HUSBAND? / More Women Should Try This Method Of Child Birth
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 64 |