Hey, there's this thought bothering my mind lately and I thought I should just seek the opinion of great minds residing in this Land full of naira.

Do you believe a particular guy in life is meant for a particular lady? That is by providence you are meant to marry a particular person not just anyone but someone out there that has being predestined to be your partner for life. Hence the saying, BONE OF YOUR BONE. For instance Mr A has being predestined to marry Miss B and no matter their location they'll end up meeting somewhere someday. By implication if you don't marry that particular person then you'll not have a fulfilled home. For the married people in the house do you believe that your husband/wife is the one God has programmed you to be with for life or it could have just been any other person?

House, is this a fact or just a belief?

Destiny,...hmmmm dats quite a complex puzzle, but I sure no dat God does nt make mistakes in unions,U wil sure mit ur match as a mam or woman save if u r nt a sincere being.If u r a calm pesn u wil most likely come across or align wit a rugged or a more stronger in character -kind of pesn,if dats wt we call DESTINY, DEN SO B IT.but I seriously agree dat WOT WILL BE WILL EVA BE &WOT WILL NEVA BE WILL NEVA BE
.

I believe in destiny but as regards relationship and marriage, you have more than one soul mate. That's the truth.

sholay2011: I believe in destiny but as regards relationship and marriage, you have more than one soul mate. That's the truth.

Yes I agree with you, destiny for progress is different from destiny for soul mate. Life partner is something that someone shall choose by him/herself then seek for God's blessing, just like carer and other things human being can handle within their powers.

gidjah: WOT WILL BE WILL EVA BE &WOT WILL NEVA BE WILL NEVA BE
.

Hmmmm So you believe "what would be would be" which is somewhat destiny. So can we conclude that since what would be would ever be then you'll end up with that lady or man that is suppose to BE in your life and no other one. Is it not possible for one by his or her action or dogedness alter "what would be that is suppose to be" ? And lastly my brother, I've been pondering so much on that saying "what would be would be" and sometimes I tend to tell myself no need to fight it, no need to struggle what would be would surely be. But how then would you explain MISFORTUNE? How then would you explain scenerio where marriages refuse to last?

I like your comment and would want you to solve the above puzzle too.
Thanks

Chidera Favour:

[/b]

Chidera Favour:
Yes I agree with you, destiny for progress is different from destiny for soul mate. Life partner is something that someone shall choose by him/herself then seek God for blessing, just like carer and other thinds human being can handle within themselves

So when it comes to life partner anyone can fit in, what matter most is God's blessing. Is that what you're saying? So we can rule out "bone of my bone" cos if we want to adhere to that philosophy then there's a bone that is compatible only with your bone and that's where d confusion lies for me.

Codedeben: [/b]

So when it comes to life partner anyone can fit in, what matter most is God's blessing. Is that what you're saying? So we can rule out "bone of my bone" cos if we want to adhere to that philosophy then there's a bone that is compatible only with your bone and that's where d confusion lies for me.

Yes choose your life partner and seek for God's blessing, no particular bone is compatible or specifically made with your bone it depends on how you goes about it. Love is boundless you can love anybody anywhere and still make it, remind you that I believe in destiny oo but I refuse to believe that God keep a particular life partner for anybody.

Codedeben:

Hmmmm So you believe "what would be would be" which is somewhat destiny. So can we conclude that since what would be would ever be then you'll end up with that lady or man that is suppose to BE in your life and no other one. Is it not possible for one by his or her action or dogedness alter "what would be that is suppose to be" ? And lastly my brother, I've been pondering so much on that saying "what would be would be" and sometimes I tend to tell myself no need to fight it, no need to struggle what would be would surely be. But how then would you explain MISFORTUNE? How then would you explain scenerio where marriages refuse to last?

I like your comment and would want you to solve the above puzzle too.
Thanks

When I was in secondary school, we once had a debate on the topic: "LIFE IS A GAME OF CHANCES, RATHER THAN CHOICES". I can't remember which side won that day but after the debate, I took it as one of the facts of life that "LIFE IS A GAME OF BOTH CHANCES AND CHOICES". We make our choices and work towards and chances either favour us or work against us. If you believe too much in chances or destiny(as you put it here), you might be a total failure in life cos you're not driven by any force and that is detrimental to success in life. At the same time, not all of your choices would actually go the way you want it to, sometimes, life has a way of just messing our plans up for us. At such times, let go and let nature take its course. I hope you get my drift.

Op,I don't believe in such.

alutacontinua:

When I was in secondary school, we once had a debate on the topic: "LIFE IS A GAME OF CHANCES, RATHER THAN CHOICES". I can't remember which side won that day but after the debate, I took it as one of the facts of life that "LIFE IS A GAME OF BOTH CHANCES AND CHOICES". We make our choices and work towards and chances either favour us or work against us. If you believe too much in chances or destiny(as you put it here), you might be a total failure in life cos you're not driven by any force and that is detrimental to success in life. At the same time, not all of your choices would actually go the way you want it to, sometimes, life has a way of just messing our plans up for us. At such times, let go and let nature take its course. I hope you get my drift.

#deep sigh# hmmmmm I got you perfectly.

I actually grew up believing in that philosophy of bone of your bone and now it gat me thinking if marriages that headed for the rock was as a result of "bone of another bone" and this get me scared sometimes of not wanting to default and end up bitting my fingers. I recently found myself in a dilemma where I actually needed to subject that agelong philosophy to proper evaluation . Imagine a scenerio where every arrow points to the fact that this particular person may be meant for you but you're just afraid commiting yourself for some reasons and at the same time trying to avoid the attendant consequences of failing to settle down with that person if the philosophy were true.

@ yellowpawpaw do you subscribe to the school of thought that what would be would be?

Codedeben:

#deep sigh# hmmmmm I got you perfectly.

I actually grew up believing in that philosophy of bone of your bone and now it gat me thinking if marriages that headed for the rock was as a result of "bone of another bone" and this get me scared sometimes of not wanting to default and end up bitting my fingers. I recently found myself in a dilemma where I actually needed to subject that agelong philosophy to proper evaluation . Imagine a scenerio where every arrow points to the fact that this particular person may be meant for you but you're just afraid commiting yourself for some reasons and at the same time trying to avoid the attendant consequences of failing to settle down with that person if the philosophy were true.

@ yellowpawpaw do you subscribe to the school of thought that what would be would be?

for the 'bone of your bone' part, I really dunno about that.

Codedeben:
@ yellowpawpaw do you subscribe to the school of thought that what would be would be?

How can u decipher*what will be?*
How can u c d finished product when u ve not yet assembled d raw materials?
Yep,u hv a picture of a good quality pdt at d end of d day but things has to be put into considerations and done well b4 u get that.don't forget mechanical hazards too.if all go well,there u go with excellent finished pdt but if things go awry,u know d result. Will u now blame d bad finished pdt to destiny? Like*this pdt is doomed to be a failure,I knew it*

I don't believe in destiny.

Destiny, is for the lazy, uninspired 'couch potatoes' who will forever take a back-seat in the affairs that affect their lives.

Life is what you make of it, shaped by your conscious actions. I person determined to succeed will do so, whatever circumstances they find themselves in - simply because they choose to work hard coupled with producing innovative ideas to aid their desire for success.

That same analogy applies in the tricky game of marriage. A couple determined to make their union work, and who both come up with innovative ideas on how to 'spice things up' and. 'keep the fire burning' are more likely to succeed at it, than the average laid back couple who believe it is what it is.

Hmmmmm
Predestination, a very touchy topic.
Personally I believe in what will be will be. I believe that even though a union didnt work out well dosent mean the couple aint meant for each other. It only means their own source of temptation is marital and how they handle it goes to fulfil other parts of their destiny.
What I mean is ; if you werent meant to marry some other person, the marriage wont hold in the first place talk more of working.

I create my own destiny.
No particular woman was created specially to be my wife.

Destiny- hmmm

God help those who help themselves ; True to a P....

BUT

as strongly as I'm stuck to my 'Conditional Love' philosophy ( and it's still working for me); I also strongly without any shadow of doubt in my mind believe that if you're not meant to be together , it'll never work NO matter how you try.

Wife wants to make it work, hubby would't budge no matter what,....... you can take the camel to the river but can never force it to drink from the river no matter how 'non- violent crisis intervention' skilled you are .

I believe in Destiny. It comes to a point in our life when when reality struck and we start to grow up i.e pray for the right partner that'll stick to the marriage vows till eternity.

To love and to cherish, thru sickness and in health , thru thick and thin.... No be small thing oh... No child's play for aso ebi / stretch limos / vera wang and so on show offs only.

jidegirl12: Destiny- hmmm

God help those who help themselves ; True to a P....

BUT

as strongly as I'm stuck to my 'Conditional Love' philosophy ( and it's still working for me); I also strongly without any shadow of doubt in my mind believe that if you're not meant to be together , it'll never work NO matter how you try.

Wife wants to make it work, hubby wouldn't budge no matter what,....... you can take the camel to the river but can never force it to drink from the river no matter how 'non- violent crisis intervention' skilled you are .

I believe in Destiny. It comes to a point in our life when when reality struck and we start to grow up i.e pray for the right partner that'll stick to the marriage vows till eternity.

So I can unarguably conclude from your submission here that you believe in whatever would be would be. If you're not "meant" according to your word. Could you please illuminate the quoted.

Connoisseur: Hmmmmm
Predestination, a very touchy topic.
Personally I believe in what will be will be. I believe that even though a union didnt work out well dosent mean the couple aint meant for each other. It only means their own source of temptation is marital and how they handle it goes to fulfil other parts of their destiny.
What I mean is ; if you werent meant to marry some other person, the marriage wont hold in the first place talk more of working.

So what then can you say about "compatibility"? Some people only engaged in a very short or no courtship before marriage thereby leaving them with no choice than to start getting to know more about each other only after the marriage. Needless to say the bout of fights and misunderstanding that they should have engaged in prior to their marriage which would have helped in understanding each other better would start surfacing thereby creating inevitable chaos in their marriage. But you know if I had discovered some nasty and disgusting things (seemingly unbearable)about you during the process of courtship it could have afforded me the opportunity to reconsider my decision. So are you trying to say compatibility doesn't really come to play when it comes to marriage? i.e with commitment issue of compatibility can be worked out?

Efemena_xy: I don't believe in destiny.

Destiny, is for the lazy, uninspired 'couch potatoes' who will forever take a back-seat in the affairs that affect their lives.

Life is what you make of it, shaped by your conscious actions. I person determined to succeed will do so, whatever circumstances they find themselves in - simply because they choose to work hard coupled with producing innovative ideas to aid their desire for success.

That same analogy applies in the tricky game of marriage. A couple determined to make their union work, and who both come up with innovative ideas on how to 'spice things up' and. 'keep the fire burning' are more likely to succeed at it, than the average laid back couple who believe it is what it is.

Have you seen couples that have tried different therapies,methods to make their marriage work but no matter how hard they try its not just working. No matter how much they pretend, try to fake it their happiness and what we can call marital fulfilment is always only temporal. They have employed all known methods but its going nowhere. How can you explain that?

Codedeben:

Have you seen couples that have tried different therapies,methods to make their marriage work but no matter how hard they try its not just working. No matter how much they pretend, try to fake it their happiness and what we can call marital fulfilment is always only temporal. They have employed all known methods but its going nowhere. How can you explain that?

That sounds more like one partner being committed to making things work than the other.

I stand by what I say. I don't believe in destiny. I can decide to jump off the roof of my home and break my back and become paralysed. I can also decide not to do it and continue living healthily.

The concept of destiny conflicts with the concept of free choice. What you choose to do predetermines your destiny!

Codedeben: Hey, there's this thought bothering my mind lately and I thought I should just seek the opinion of great minds residing in this Land full of naira.

Do you believe a particular guy in life is meant for a particular lady? That is by providence you are meant to marry a particular person not just anyone but someone out there that has being predestined to be your partner for life. Hence the saying, BONE OF YOUR BONE. For instance Mr A has being predestined to marry Miss B and no matter their location they'll end up meeting somewhere someday. By implication if you don't marry that particular person then you'll not have a fulfilled home. For the married people in the house do you believe that your husband/wife is the one God has programmed you to be with for life or it could have just been any other person?

House, is this a fact or just a belief?
Hmmm, I av gained a lot from this topic. Thanks to u guys

hmmm, I av gained a lot from this topic. Thanks to u guys

Codedeben:

So what then can you say about "compatibility"? Some people only engaged in a very short or no courtship before marriage thereby leaving them with no choice than to start getting to know more about each other only after the marriage. Needless to say the bout of fights and misunderstanding that they should have engaged in prior to their marriage which would have helped in understanding each other better would start surfacing thereby creating inevitable chaos in their marriage. But you know if I had discovered some nasty and disgusting things (seemingly unbearable)about you during the process of courtship it could have afforded me the opportunity to reconsider my decision. So are you trying to say compatibility doesn't really come to play when it comes to marriage? i.ecommitment issue of compatibility can be worked out?

You seem not to understand me.
I mean if the marriage isnt meant to be, there wouldnt be any talk of compatibility because the marriage (ceremony) wouldnt hold in the first place.
Any marriage that held and later hit obstacles was (imo) meant to be in the first place and the trials that comes with it is the same as trials associated with everyday living

Efemena_xy:

That sounds more like one partner being committed to making things work than the other.

I stand by what I say. I don't believe in destiny. I can decide to jump off the roof of my home and break my back and become paralysed. I can also decide not to do it and continue living healthily.

The concept of destiny conflicts with the concept of free choice. What you choose to do predetermines your destiny!

every character trait you exhibit is part of the road to your destiny. you might decide to jump off a building, true but that decision comes only as a result of certain traits inherent in you.

The question I don't think is who is predestined to be with who.... its more of can you handle the baggage a partner brings to the table. Not everyone can deal with everyone's problems. Some issues are too big and unmanageable.

Love doesn't conquer all.

yhemmite: hmmm, I av gained a lot from this topic. Thanks to u guys

You just said exactly what's on my mind. I am seriously gaining from it also. This is an eye opener.

Connoisseur:

You seem not to understand me.
[be]I mean if the marriage isnt meant to be, there wouldnt be any talk of compatibility because the marriage (ceremony) wouldnt hold in the first place.[/b]
Any marriage that held and later hit obstacles was (imo) meant to be in the first place and the trials that comes with it is the same as trials associated with everyday living

I got you perfectly and I dey feel u. You're the one that seem not to understand me. You said if it wasn't meant to be then it won't take place in the first place . Right? And my question still remains if the marriage refuses to last does it mean its meant to be just temporal? We've seen celebrities who have being into and outta several marriages with glamorous wedding ceremony. What should we hinge that on Since it took place in the first place?

Science and technology have brainwashed many people from reality.

In contrary to what @commiss said, yes marriage is not all rosy from A-Z but too much tribulations and life threatening issues in marriage is a red flag my brother.

If you see these red flag traits before marriage and still go ahead with the wedding because of societal expectations and call it destiny, you're in for a long thing .

And if you don't see it initially and he/she changed colors ( which happens rarely) , and decide NOT run for your life because its destiny, you're also in for a long thing.

Everything God made is Good, pray for a good one and it'll never pass by you, not all rosy but Good enough to make them jealous ... and most importantly The One that'll make you happy for the rest of your life.

When you include God in life decisions, it won't be perfect but it will be very sweet.

obowunmi: When you include God in life decisions, it won't be perfect but it will be very sweet.

Gbam ! That's the summary of my posts so far. Wunmi , you're growing oh! Good job buddy.

Why don't u call me by my full name? Obowunmi, Obowunmi

Nah... That's what I chose to call you. Now vamoose

And don't derail this thread.

What if the person you are supposedly destined to marry dies before you guys ever meet, what will be your fate? remain spouseless?